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Poppin It

NoLuvv - Oh Really

Noluvv China - Rock 'n Roll (Official Video) | shot by _ @staychiefy

[Verse 1]
I keep the curtains closed, ’cause the daylight shows the damage I deny,
Every shadow in the room tries to pull the truth out of the lies.
I was crafting all my caution, calling it control,
But I was carving out a coffin for the softer parts I stole.
You were standing in the silence, trying not to break,
While I was busy building distance out of every small mistake.
I kept the blame in my pocket like I’d never let it slip,
Now it drips into the cracks of every word I never said.
And the weight of every whisper that I swallowed out of pride
Grew into a monster that I let live inside.
I turned every fear into a script that I rehearsed,
But the verses only worsen when the hurt becomes the first thing I revert to.

⸻

[Pre-Chorus]
And I know I wasn’t honest, I was hollow by design,
Held my heartbeat hostage just to keep you out of mind.

⸻

[Chorus]
I’m drowning in the version of myself I swore I’d kill,
Every mirror shows a stranger with a face I can’t sit still.
I keep ripping out the pieces that you tried to understand,
Now I’m stranded in the wreckage of a life I never planned.
If you saw me in this moment, you would never call my name—
I’m the shadow of the silhouette that vanished with the flame.
I’m a ghost inside a body that refuses to come clean,
And I’m haunted by the quiet where your kindness used to be.

⸻

[Verse 2]
I keep replaying conversations like a loop that won’t unwind,
Every line I left unsaid keeps crawling underneath my spine.
I was hiding in my silence, calling cowardice a choice,
But you were searching for an answer in the cracks of my voice.
You were patient with the poison that I kept beneath my tongue,
Tried to love me through the chaos, through the damage I had spun.
But the tighter that you held me, the more terrified I got,
Like I’d break the only person who saw light in what I’m not.
I disguised my desperation as a distant kind of calm,
But the calm was just a cover for the storms inside my palms.
And every promise that I broke became another bruise to tend,
’Cause the truth is I was better at destroying than I am at trying to mend.

⸻

[Pre-Chorus 2]
I built a barricade of memories I never let you touch,
But the loneliness I chose is starting to feel like too much.

⸻

[Chorus 2]
I’m drowning in the echo of a life I let decay,
Every heartbeat feels like thunder in a world that’s washed to grey.
I keep pulling at the threads of who I swore I’d never be,
But the seams are coming loose and there’s no stitching left in me.
If you saw this broken version, you would walk the other way—
I’m a lie that learned to breathe inside the ruins of the day.
I’m a name without a meaning, just a moment slipping thin,
And I’m paying for the silence that I wrapped myself in.

⸻

[Bridge]
I’m a fault line cracking under every word I never spoke,
A timeline full of tremors from the promises I broke.
I kept running from the mirror like it owed me some excuse,
But the truth is that I made the mess I’m drowning in with you.
I can’t fight the way I fracture when the night is closing in,
Every thought becomes a dagger I keep turning in my skin.
And the past keeps pulling harder like it’s begging me to stay,
But I’m shackled to the version of myself I gave away.

⸻

[Final Chorus]
I’m drowning in the image of the man I tried to fake,
Every heartbeat keeps on echoing the choices I can’t shake.
I keep dragging all the failures like a chain around my frame,
And the weight of what I wasn’t is the fire I can’t contain.
If you saw me here, you’d see the truth I never let you see—
I’m the ghost of every moment that you wasted loving me.
I’m a shadow stitched in silence, I’m a bruise beneath the skin,
I’m the sum of all the battles that I never tried to win.
Yeah, I’m lost inside the person that I swore I’d never be,
And the darkest part is knowing that the darkness came from me.

Stranger

This is the rebirth. Not a perfect ending, just a true beginning. This track is about becoming the man I needed growing up, the father my son deserves, and the version of myself that can finally breathe without hiding. It’s the arrival after years of running.

Thoughts To Myself

NoLuvv

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