Love can be the poison
Putting its thorns through your bed
Those rose colored glasses
In that blue colored head

rip to my good friend goof

(2021)

heroine

"The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong at the broken places. But those that will not break it kills. It kills the very good and the very gentle and the very brave impartially. If you are none of these you can be sure it will kill you too but there will be no special hurry."

(2020)

elegy

"Time was passing like a hand waving from a train I wanted to be on.
I hope you never have to think about anything as much as I think about you."

go back to sleep
(2020)

memories fade, like dreams

Its always too late
but I'm still waiting
my whole life I relied on patience
the puzzle don't complete itself
youre never gonna get help
if youre not reaching out
take a piece of the pie not the whole damn thing
young at heart but let the old man sing
my cold hands shake at the thought of change
but nothings really different
last time I saw you was around christmas
you could hear all the loud whispers
pointing fingers
open liquors
my eyes lean and flicker as the words fall
even the snow shivers
hands around seems to feel different
like this all just turned to business
and Its hard to keep talking
When the noise keeps stalking
but thats the odd thing

then the anxiety comes

when you say goodbye to me
I really dont know how to feel
these last 20 years just dont seem real

(2019)

winding roads

just waking up in the morning gotta thank god
I don't know but today seems kinda odd

(2022)

waking up a little different

exactly where i am supposed to be

(2022)

the morning after

nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli

(2020)

saturday night

"All train compartments smell vaguely of shit. It gets so you don't mind it. That's the worse thing that I can confess. You know how long it took me to get there? A long time.
When you die, you're gonna regret the things you don't do. You think you're queer? I'm gonna tell you something, we're all queer. You think you're a thief? So what? You get befuddled by a middle class morality? Get shut of it. Shut it out. You cheat on your wife? You did it, live with it. Fuck little girls? So be it. There's an absolute morality? Maybe. And then what? If you think there is, go ahead, be that thing. Bad people go to hell? I don't think so. You think that? Act that way. A hell exists on Earth? Yes. I won't live in it. That's me...

What I'm saying is what is our life? Our life is looking forward, or it's looking back. That's it. That's our life. Where's the moment? And what is it we're so afraid of?"

contemplate mistakes
off a dozen beers
just another happy new year

what a year it was
(2023)

new years eve

"in the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer."

shoedoge.jpg

(2020)

I am getting dumber

I'm tired of the mundane
routines I try to but cant change
laziness. I'd probably be in the hall of fame
dream team. living life with a green screen
everything blends together, devolves at the seems
too much focus on what it all means
whether I break this time
continue to search I remain behind
we only got one shot, how come I can't make up my mind
what do I want, running out of lines
on this notebook. One day I'll be scribbling on the cardboard
dont look when I come up short
icy feet on the cold floor
I can feel things
I am such a strange being
dealing with such strange issues
in forgetting how to
leave the bed. Turn my head. Listen to the advice I give
feel this thing beating in my chest
I dont know, maybe comfort is a drug
sending this chemical to my brain saying this is how it always was
never feeling more lifeless than going through a quarter life crisis
but life is the most absurd thing you'll ever know
it comes and it goes just as the wind blows
sometimes you gotta drive that lonely road
even just for the experience
find yourself when delirious
change and deal with it
death always seemed so serious
but every good book ends
and when the ink runs dry from my pen
I'm ready, I'm willing

maybe we're kings or maybe we're just bizarre little persons walking back and forth. back and forth. back and forth. until one day the train hits you. bye

rest in peace Terry
(2020)

Familiar places

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