Some children dream of gingerbread houses with drops of lemon and gum, 
But I wanted something a little more juicy, 'cause I think that candy shit's dumb.
So we wandered to the fields where the animals were killed and plenty of blood was a-spilt.
Then we took a look around and we took a sniff around and said "This is where the MEAT FORT shall be built.

Discreet or indiscreet, I'd really like to meat you in the - MEAT FORT!!!
It's pretty sweet to have a pillow stuffed with pig's feet - MEAT FORT!!!
Don't need a fork to pound you with my pork in the - MEAT FORT!!!
You get the protein that you need every single time you breathe - MEAT FORT!!!

You'll never be able to BEAT MY MEAT!!! You'll never be able to BEAT MY MEAT!!!
You'll never be able to BEAT MY MEAT!!! BEAT MY MEAT!!!
BEAT MY MEAT FORT!!!

I made a hat completely out of fat in the - MEAT FORT!!!
The kids love to ride down the tube-tacular intestine slide - MEAT FORT!!!
If you're covered in crud take a shower in blood in the - MEAT FORT!!!
All the spouts are made of pig snouts in the - MEAT FORT!!!

You'll never be able to BEAT MY MEAT!!! You'll never be able to BEAT MY MEAT!!!
You'll never be able to BEAT MY MEAT!!! BEAT MY MEAT!!!
BEAT MY MEAT FORT!!!

(SOLO)

There's lots of yummy things to munch like pepperoni Cap'n Crunch® - MEAT FORT!!!
Chicken is a vegetable and Spam® is candy in the - MEAT FORT!!!
Bet you didn’t know it’s true, but meat is made of me and you - MEAT FORT!!!
T-bone trombones and teriyaki telephones - MEAT FORT!!!

You'll never be able to BEAT MY MEAT!!! You'll never be able to BEAT MY MEAT!!!
You'll never be able to BEAT MY MEAT!!! BEAT MY MEAT!!!
BEAT MY MEAT FORT!!!

You'll never be able to BEAT MY MEAT!!! You'll never be able to BEAT MY MEAT!!!
You'll never be able to BEAT MY MEAT!!! BEAT MY MEAT!!!
BEAT MY MEAT FORT!!!

(Our fort is made entirely of meat.)

Joe Cocker Manifesto: Meat Fort

Hey, Kids!
What?
You wanna learn about science?
Yeeaaahhhaaayyyy!!!!!!

Singularities… H2O… Triangles…

When Christopher Columbus traded slaves with the Egyptians 
He knew he was on to something when he invented lightning.

Wow! Your Triangles Are So Big!
Wow! Your Triangles Are So Big!
Wow! Your Triangles Are So Big!
Wow! Your Triangles Are So Big!

When the Flintstones and the Jetsons met inside your television
They created a time paradox that stopped the birth of Jesus.

Wow! Your Triangles Are So Big!
Wow! Your Triangles Are So Big!
Wow! Your Triangles Are So Big!
Wow! Your Triangles Are So Big!

When Captain Kunta Kinte commandeered the Hubble telescope
He flew over Antarctica and found the Lindbergh baby.

Wow! Your Triangles Are So Big!
Wow! Your Triangles Are So Big!
Wow! Your Triangles Are So Big!
Wow! Your Triangles Are So Big!

Thank you Sigmund Freud for inventing germs.
Thank you Bill Clinton for bringing spaghetti to Brazil.

Wow! Your Triangles Are So Big!
Wow! Your Triangles Are So Big!
Wow! Your Triangles Are So Big!
Wow! Your Triangles Are So Big!

Joe Cocker Manifesto: A Tribute To The Great Pyramids of Giza (Wow! Your Triangles Are So Big!)

It all needs to start today. All you people need to go away.
People running- People fighting- Lots and lots and lots of biting.

Cannibalism’s good for America.
Cannibalism’s good for America.

When you got out of your grave, America is here to save.
Zombies will eat all the jocks and the hippies- all the crackheads and the junkies.

Cannibalism’s good for America.
Cannibalism’s good for America.

There’s no weapon to keep you from dying.  Don’t even fight- there’s no use trying.
You’ll all be beaten when you’re eaten.  Stop whining while they’re dining.

Cannibalism’s good for America.
Cannibalism’s good for America.

Eat the rich and eat the poor.  Eat the guy at your front door.
Eat the rich and eat the poor.  Eat the guy at your front door.
Eat the rich and eat the poor.  Eat the guy at your front door.
Eat the rich and eat the poor.  Eat the guy at your front door.

Cannibalism’s good for America.
Cannibalism’s good for America.
Cannibalism’s good for America.
Cannibalism’s good for America.

Joe Cocker Manifesto: Cannibalism's Good For America

You’re the only actor to
Make it out of Star Wars alive.
But now all you do
Is that crazy hand jive.
It all started when you busted out of that carbonite box,
But it ain’t funny to make fun of Michael J. Fox.

On his own Solo, friends with a ape.
Turn of that freezer, make your escape.

HARRISON FORD HANDS! HARRISON FORD HANDS! HARRISON FORD HANDS! 
HARRISON FORD HANDS! HARRISON FORD HANDS! HARRISON FORD HANDS!

Are you afraid of that idol, Indy or
Are you just testing the weight?
If you fuck up you’ll be rolled up by that
Big stone ball that you hate.
“Throw me the idol,
I throw you the whip.”

Ha ha, Satipo! Spikes in your head!
Don’t forget your cool hat (don’t forget!)

HARRISON FORD HANDS! HARRISON FORD HANDS! HARRISON FORD HANDS! 
HARRISON FORD HANDS! HARRISON FORD HANDS! HARRISON FORD HANDS!

Do androids dream 
Of electric sheep?  
Chase them down.
Shoot them in the street.
Hanging from a building.
Roy Batty you beat.

Hands crushed by androids on a mission.
Maybe this led to your present condition.

HARRISON FORD HANDS! HARRISON FORD HANDS! HARRISON FORD HANDS! 
HARRISON FORD HANDS! HARRISON FORD HANDS! HARRISON FORD HANDS!

You start off “The Fugitive”
Look like a grizzled mountain man.
How’d you shave off that beard
With your fucked up hands?
If you’d played the one-armed man your hand would go like this,
You probably make a mess every time you take a piss.

Is he crippled? Shaky hands.
Twisted up fingers all on demand.

HARRISON FORD HANDS! HARRISON FORD HANDS! HARRISON FORD HANDS! 
HARRISON FORD HANDS! HARRISON FORD HANDS! HARRISON FORD HANDS!

Joe Cocker Manifesto:  Harrison Ford Hands

1.	Choking Hazard

It’s a choking hazard, you stupid bastard.
White plastic bags, you fuckin’ hags.
Tiny little bricks, you stupid pricks.
Under your tongue - little toy gun.
CHOKE ON IT! CHOKE ON IT! CHOKE ON IT! CHOKE ON IT!

2.	O vagina

Vagina, you are the greatest friend I ever had.  (Praise Jesus!)
O Vagina!  Why’d you have to be attached to a cunt?!
O Vagina.  (O Vagina!)  O Vagina.  (O Vagina!)  O Vagina.  (O Vagina!)
Why’d you have to be attached to a cunt?!

3.	Baby Seal

One time I rode an Orca all the way (mukluk, mukluk, mukluk, mukluk) never mind…
It’s better than veal, it’s baby seal.  Alaskan happy meal, it’s baby seal.
Beat them to the ground where they’re found.  Out on the ice and snow - nowhere to go.
Away from mom, drop the bomb on baby seal.  Drop the bomb on baby seal.
Beat them with a club - there’s the rub.  Little cute face can’t keep pace.
Beat them in the shins.  Little warm skins.  It’s not a bore to make them no more.
Away from mom, drop the bomb on baby seal.  Drop the bomb on baby seal.
(Here comes an orca!  MUKLUK!)
Drop the bomb (ARF ARF!) on baby seal (ARF ARF!)

It wazh awshome.

Joe Cocker Manifesto:  Trilogy:  1. Choking Hazard 2. O Vagina 3. Baby Seal

Joe Cocker Manifesto: June's Cooties / Uncle Bad Touch

Milk maid, milk maid,
Areolas so fine,
When can I have some of your
Titty wine?

There can never be another,
My ball-bag's swollen like an udder,
Be my fuckin’ baby's mother,
I wanna churn my rod in your butt-
errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Milk maid, milk maid,
Nipples erected,
I'll get government ID,
And get them USDA inspected.

There can never be another,
My ball-bag's swollen like an udder,
Be my fuckin’ baby's mother,
I wanna churn my rod in your butt-
errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Milk maid, milk maid,
Lovely jugs,
Let's drink your fermented milk,
And feel like we're on drugs!

There can never be another,
My ball-bag's swollen like an udder,
Be my fuckin’ baby's mother,
I wanna churn my rod in your asshole!

Handsome Jonni

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