A self drawing,        poems/writing in song descriptions

self Portrait

Karate
Battle on top of the mountain
Up the mountain we are following
Following the path
Paved for us to walk
What leads to the top


I’m not sure of the journey ahead
But I walk anyways
Slugged, with my back caving into itself
The chords take me by surprise 
But I battle like it’s my last fight

Thunderbolts out of my hands
Radiating fire to my friends
My friends are my enemies 
To get to the top we battle each other
Why?
I have not understood yet
We shoot fire at each other and do flips

I’m not an explorative kid
Just messing with words
I’ve done this a million times
Since I was little
I am an artist

I do not know the way it will be always.
Maybe I am just that child
But I am not your friend just getting used to newness
I am newness


Danny Gottlieb, Dennis Marks, Todd Delgiudice, Aidan Finn

up the mountain


It’s all circles

Slow life
Sad heart
Maybe I can have a new one
A new start
It seems I’m going back a lot more
Visiting the past a lot more
I don’t want to rush anything
I’ll take my time to take a peak into all the holes
I don’t know who I am 
But I’m finding it out
Thank you for all your time with me, you all

A lot of storylines waver my life
We all have them I guess
Let me interact with you
I am so scared

Is there anyone out there?
It all seems so lonely,
A walk way lit by night
I don't know where I'm going
But I know it's blue 
I've seen you so many times, it's this lifetime
Hue of circles
Your prizes for me to find are cursed
I've been consumed by the game of desire many times and I know it shall happen again
It's all a little different..
The video game, the girl, awe life.

Again I bike along the blue toned road
It's night time and I miss you again

You sit on your purple bench



Danny Gottlieb, Dennis Marks, Aidan Finn

It’s All Circles

just me and my guitar
like it'll always be
an outcast 
and a failure
but I sure am an explorative kid
I like the sound of birds
or a train
or the sounds of my parents talking
I like sounds
I like to be organized and not
I like to write and explore
I like to make concepts from dirt
it's really fun
could we do it together?
I tried to make so many people be my music buddy
my training buddy
but they never could be

could we do it together? 
will you be my friend
or will you leave like the rest of them
never getting back to me
and always bailing our plans
I'm lonely somewhere in here

have you ever watched adventure time?
sometimes that show really suits this mood
I remember feeling it when I was younger
if only I could be lowly with you
I love to see love on TV


Fractioned
Broken glass
I’m all sides 
We’re on all sides
My life and all my feelings 
Shattered and displaced
What is everything
What is this world mother
You’re so quick to tell me
You’re so quick to tell me father

I pick up the pieces one by one
I don’t know what they all mean sometimes
When their context can change so drastically
So fast
It’s too fast..
Life is too fast

It scares me
How disconnected I am from my sister
I’m just like all the other people I’ve seen now
The little brother
The unknowing family 
Speaking to the people my sister has wrapped herself with
They seem to be good
They are part of the school
But the intentions are so unclear
Everyone is so unclear..
Intentions are always unclear

Well they seem nice, we say

They barely ever recognize me
My family
It is nice to be recognized
It is nice for others to see your worth.. 
well you guys don’t
Their words, not mine
Yet you don’t care to tell me that
You don’t really care


maybe someday I'll be gone
and "you" won't realize till much later
i miss you
but I'll never ever see it again
find me after death

In the background


imagine this
as a child
sitting there playing with your toys
pretending dinosaurs are battling or that soldiers are in a war
with your mother next to you doing the dishes
explosions going off
there's a deeper truth to the matter
it's peace


All to ourselves

So, I did it
What does that make me now?
A nothing
A brown and green
I used to be rebellious 
Now I’m a shrimp falling in
Letting the lies hit me

I’m her brother?
Sometimes I don’t even know what all this really is
Does my body know?
... we shared the same cavern 
We grew in the same home
Same walls we walked
But we had different ways of painting
Different ways to walk
(Niche)
In the end we created different walls for ourselves
The shade we looked for in our new walls was the same we sought in the old but couldn’t attain
The canvas was too small to share
Had to find a new one.

Now we walk completely different 
And those walls we left we think differently of
The parents that created it
They had their own shade as well

He sounds like me
Everyone sounds like me
And when I’m me I think I’m something
I think I’m nice, I think I’m myself
But he’s just like me in that state
So. What does that make me?
My reactions, I’m what?
Now my parents are the ones interacting
They interact with me there and are fine
But me here they don’t see..
I’ve seen so much lately
Life is huge
I don’t know what to do about it
And I don’t feel like screaming anymore

Thank you to this food, for closing me
For satiating me in a way, 
For making me rooted

This me I’m perceiving in the world currently
It’s the fake but alive me
The me at the birthday party,
Radiating all the happiness in myself
But that isn’t me fully
That’s not everything I see in my reflections
But I waste all that energy into such moments
Give them all my small talk available 
It feels great for a while
I know it can’t last
There’s so much more to life

Current problem: They know there is more to life
They know they can cry
They know this
You are selfish

They raised me
Why am I selfish
She pampered me
Why am I selfish
I was Corbin 
I thought it was all free.


My slight smile
My calm touch
My soft hug
What is it in me that makes me not really care
I look so caring
All about yourself.

for now

what does it mean to crash your car at 19 
when you thought the world was free
when you had the bravery to deliberately disown yourself from everything 
don't worry little Aidan
your message will get out to this world
don't you try a thing
it's all in you 

a child,
schooled from home
with a mask everywhere you went
at home you were hungry
at home you were crying
at home you were safe.
you were grieving through destruction,
when my head poked out all you saw was a goofy kid
a plain goofy little kid.
maybe a little more extreme than the others
but you could never tell because his sensitivity was so high, he'd run right at the moment we felt too much
because he knows it was so easy if that happened to break character
too too easy to cry.
where did all his art come from,
we're all human
don't downplay me

he cried in his dad's lap when he was a kid
cried about killing himself
because this world is too hard to live in
I don't belong here
I don't belong here
I have no wish to harm myself
just take me away
please take me away
but you could never leave could you?
I only got closer to reality

what does it mean to crash your parents car at 19
what does it feel like to have parents who carry you all around life
I love them
but I am a child truly
you can see it
when I enter your class on all fours
playing a game and a training at the same time
what does it mean to climb a tree
what does it mean to play guitar
what does it mean to be alive
the questions that make me different
the questions that are my life's meaning


hint: I wish to find everyway
I wish to live everyway
someday, my parents will leave this world
I love them yes I do
. it took me so long to say it to them
but I knew when it would someday feel right
I'm glad that day has come

maybe let's save being homeless exploration till after they go
no wait what if I lose everything
oh..


PS 
I haven't crashed the car



_ Marcelo Camacho, Jason Arkins, Jesse Katz

What does freedom look like?

Born In Another, One Another, No Mistakes, It Was Meant To Be This Way, Saying Goodbye,

there's nothing wrong with roaming around, 
there's nothing wrong with not knowing where you're going
seeing a helpless person is a gift
from my view, 
they're beautiful

I hope you get the chance to not know where you're going at least once in life


Evan Anderson, Joel Klein

self Portrait

aidan finn