I was working on a new track one morning, worrying about the lack of response we'd had overnight from our daughter, who was travelling.

An hour later, we got the news that she had died in her sleep. She was just 18.

It was touch and go whether I would carry on producing new music given the association with her death, and given the very strong emotions that music brings out.

It quickly become clear that music was my lifeline, and that producing new tracks helped me to grieve - to remain in touch with the torrent of emotions and express them creatively and in the only way I knew how. The music I produced from then on has been indelibly changed and shaped by these emotions.

My daughter loved music, and had eclectic and mature taste for a late teenager. Every track on this album was written during the first two years of my grief, and every one has a connection to my daughter, or to our grief.

This record is dedicated to her, and to all who have known grief. It is released on what would have been her 21st Birthday.

Grieving

I've aimed to bring the beautiful vocals to the fore, and a sense of youthful vibrancy and excitment. Hope I've gone somewhere near that - the original is so beautiful in its soundscape.

Spotify artist profile: https://open.spotify.com/artist/6kIu7ZJEgD8D6xkX10eiyA?si=4thZFj8lQu6yWYZTdq3Gyw

A Model Of Reality (Mr. Grieves Remix) Max Cooper

Chilled out beats, ethereal vocals, leading to a blissed-out, retro, let's get back to the sunshine vibe. Out on Chopshop Music and available on all platforms now.

Set Free

Set Free (Original Mix)

I'll be self-releasing an album early next year, and thought I'd preview a few tracks for you all. Would welcome any feedback. Will continue to work on mixing/mastering. Thanks for listening!

Above The Stars (Early Release)

Closer

Sharing another Early Release version of a track planned for my album later this year. As always, keen to hear any views, likes, reposts. I will be doing some further mixing and mastering to this track based on feedback, prior to final release. Thank you!

[Demo] Shadows And Echoes

I wrote this one a good while ago but couldn't find anywhere for it. Thought you all might appreciate it. Like if you do, follow me for more - thanks.

Imagine

Another track from the album that I plan to release in a couple of months or so. I will be making some edits and improve mix before release. Would love your comments, shares, likes - as always, thank you for listening.

I've Never Been Enough [Demo]

Wishing you were here

On Magdalen Hill

I've never been enough

Shadows and echoes

No-one will find me

Let it go

Home

Finally

Deep spaces

Wait

Out of reach

Out Of reach

Last Call

Always

Or Las Vegas

This is the saddest and most personal track on my album Grieving, from my perspective. I am using someone else to sing some of the words that I want to, to my daughter. In particular, 'I've never been enough to make it right' - which I cannot.

I've Never Been Enough [Album Preview]

The vocal samples don't quite say 'Out of reach' - but that's what they mean to me - I find their sound so haunting, so very sad - and they really capture how I felt at the time - and how I still feel - to have lost my daughter forever. Someone who has been so very close - for the whole of their life, and much of my own - suddenly out of reach. And there's absolutely nothing that I can do about it.

Out Of Reach [Album Preview]

Some people think that you can 'get over' grief - or move on from it - let it go. You really can't. You can build you life around the hole that will always exist at the centre of it - but you can no more 'move on' than you could if you'd lost both of your legs. It is life-changing.

That being said, this song is about letting go of some things. There were unhelpful thoughts - obsessions almost - that plagued me, in particular during sleepless nights. And it was important to let some of those go - and focus as much as possible on what we have.

So I do hope that you find this track one of the more positive on the album - the lead piano melody in particular is intended to feel hopeful! It is one of the few liquid or minimal drum and bass tracks to make it onto this album.

Let It Go [Album Preview]

My daughter, and my grief over our loss of her, inspired every track on this album in some way. She had great taste, and loved the Cocteau Twins. I was inspired by one of their chord progressions for this one - and remembering a road trip into the desert around Las Vegas.

Releases SoundCloud on June 3rd, which would have been my daughter's 21st Birthday. The album mourns her death and celebrates her life.

Mr. Grieves

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