First track from my new Anonymous project Autjoy.
GOLD has a experimental beat arrangement. 

A mix of spoken word and singing vocals delivers my exploration of what it means to be neurodivergent. 

GOLD will appear on my new Album out on 5/5/2023 on Bandcamp.


GOLD   https://autjoy.bandcamp.com/album/gold


I feel like I am trespassing on solid ground 
Too long have I just been floating around gathering beats subconsciously tuning in the reverberations and details and the patterns of your 
Words
The pulsating light from the fluorescent tubes abuses my senses along with the background hum
I walk about numb with psychic blinkers on trying to ignore the glare from the
Sun
I get multiple interpretations of expressions and instructions so I try to follow your flow 
I want to know so I carry out my own private investigation of your 
Soul

I exist and feel the twist
Push and pull 
I get the gist
Analyse the hows and whys 
I just don’t think like you

Can’t do the things the way you do
Got my quirks and reasons too
Analyse the lows and highs 
And all that’s in-between

Emotions strike I ride the rush 
It’s almost like I feel too much 
Analyse the truth and lies 
Arrive at my own  view 

I need clarification to make sure I know what it is you’re talking about 
I could’ve zoned out I’m not being rude but the first thing you said was really interesting but I think you’ve moved
On
Its ok I always frown don’t worry about it it’s where I hold my attention
Anyway you keep changing the subject and it’s a bit Intense 
I don’t think my thoughts are matching my
Face 
You got emotional in what seems like a negative way 
It’s like a black hole I need to escape from I’m shutting down on some kind of overload 
I can’t process your information and the energy 
Hurts

I exist and feel the twist
Push and pull 
I get the gist
Analyse the hows and whys 
I just don’t think like you

Can’t do the things the way you do
Got my quirks and reasons too
Analyse the lows and highs 
And all that’s in-between

Emotions strike I ride the rush 
It’s almost like I feel too much 
Analyse the truth and lies 
Arrive at my own view

GOLD

Strut

Intense 

Intense 

The darkness is intense
The brightness is intense 
The noise is intense
The quiet is intense
The people are intense
Being alone is intense

Feel, feel, feel, feel 
Feel my way
The moving raw emotion
Raw emotion comes my way

The darkness is intense
The brightness is intense 
The noise is intense
The quiet is intense
The people are intense
Being alone is intense


Spin, spin, spin, spin
Spin a thought 
Weave it in and weave it out now
Find the missing link between us
It’s intense
It’s intense 
It’s intense

The blankness is intense
The patterns are intense 
The static is intense
The movement is intense
The outside is intense
The inside is intense.

Intense

Fuzz Feel 

Don’t ask me how I am
If you don’t want to know
It all could be good 
High 
or low 

Fuzz feel 
It all starts with the fuzz feel 
Noise colliding in the fuzz feel 
Slight touch electric
 
Fuzz feel 
Freeze somehow In the fuzz feel
Frontal lobe busy in the buzz kill 
Forget what I should know 

I fall into a long pause 
Am I tired or just relaxed?
I shift behind my mask 
Into myself I will collapse 

Fuzz feel 
IQ falling in the fuzz feel
Lose cohesion in the fuzz feel 
Chaos in your flow
 
Fuzz feel 
Storm warning in the fuzz feel 
Light is blinding in the fuzz feel
Shutdowns will come 

Fuzz feel
Can’t explain it in the fuzz feel 
Strange sensation in the fuzz feel 
Words don’t mean a thing 

Fuzz feel 
I’m eroding in the fuzz feel 
Lose ideas to the fuzz feel 
And then tension grows 

Fuzz feel 
Fuzz feel 
Fuzz feel 
Fuzz feel

Fuzz Feel

Autjoy

Push through the perceived chaos 
Find a problem to solve 
Even though there’s no solution 
You feel more controlled 

Reset 
Refresh 
Feel safe in your body 
Reflect
Connect 
Enjoy ideas as they unfold 

Time for deep exploration 
Into something yet unknown 
Such a satisfying sensation 
As things click into place 

Reset 
Refresh 
Feel safe in your own body 
Reflect
Connect 
Enjoy ideas as they unfold

Autjoy
Autjoy
Alive In fascination 

No time for all my questions 
Work it out the long way round 
All my interpretations move into the lost and found

Reset 
Refresh 
Feel safe in your own body 
Reflect
Connect 
Enjoy ideas as they unfold 

Autjoy
Autjoy
Alive In fascination 

Alive in fascination 

Reset 
Refresh 
Feel safe in your own body 
Reflect
Connect 
Enjoy ideas as they unfold 
Reset 
Refresh 
Feel safe in your own body 
Reflect
Connect 
Anxiety dissolves 
                                                                                                                    Fascination

Autjoy

Whose filter is off kilter in your view?
Not everyone is in sync in how they think
Is it me?
Is it you that is askew?
I guess it all depends on what you value

Did someone say that's proper dog?
I was zoning out
Coz I'm phasing in My actual brain
It's like analog
In a fractured pixel world
I've denied my true nature
I am my own Innercreature
Don't make me sound like a computer

There's some things you say
Feel fake to me
I get all twisty
In the intensity Of this toxic energy
I'm in empathy
With no words to go
For its melody
Did someone say that's proper dog?

I've denied my true nature 
I am my own Innercreature
Don't make me sound like a computer
Did someone say that's proper dog?

I was only half listening
There's something glistening
A reflection
It needs closer
Inspection
Did someone say that's proper dog?

INNERCREATURE

Spiky Skill Set 

I feel like a satellite
In orbit about your person 
I analyse day and night 
Rationalise and I reason 
Need down time to reset
Refresh my brain
Learn your pattern
Light is bright polarised 
Can’t feel my own insides 

I see your eyeball of dismay 
When I can’t do it your way 
I watch your eyeball of dismay 
Before I find I’ve turned away 

Spiky skill set
Spiky skill set
Spiky skill set
Spiky skill set

I find my way with focus 
See things that you won’t notice 
I’m on the ball until I’m not 
Forgot what’s what 
When you put me on the spot 
I’m pretty far from hopeless 
Your mistake if you think I’m useless 
I see your confusion 
Won’t work for me your solution 

Spiky skill set
Spiky skill set
Spiky skill set
Spiky skill set

I see your eyeball of dismay 
When I can’t do it your way 
I watch your eyeball of dismay 
Before I find I’ve turned away 

Spiky skill set
Spiky skill set
Spiky skill set
Spiky skill set
Spiky skill set

I’m pretty far from hopeless 
Your mistake if you think I’m useless 
I see your confusion 
Don’t work for me your solution 

Spiky skill set
Spiky skill set

Spiky Skill Set

Connect The Dots

This isn’t an attack
Hold your assumptions 
Scale it back
I'm on a mission to gather facts
Things don’t add up in this mismatch

Have to solve it 
Hunt it down
These walls are liquid
No solid ground 
There’s no rest until I click into place
Close the distance
Close the space

Evidence that indicates there’s something off
The relevance seems iffy I’m feeling lost
Just try and understand and connect the dots

Connect the dots 
Connect the dots 
Connect the dots
Connect the dots 
Connect the dots

I’m drowning in the absence of words that glue
Floating in your actions that leave no clue
The misunderstandings have me chewed in knots 

Connect the dots 
Connect the dots 
Connect the dots
Connect the dots 
Connect the dots

Just need to clarify 
Get a picture of your mind's eye
How could you just let it go
Throwing shadows that I don’t know

Things aren’t crystal nowhere near
Make the curtain disappear
Lift the vail of uncertainty 
With some detailed clarity 

Evidence that indicates there’s something off
The relevance seems iffy I’m feeling lost
Just try and understand and connect the dots

Connect the dots 
Connect the dots
Connect the dots 
Connect the dots

I’m drowning in the absence of words that glue
Floating in your actions that leave no clue
The misunderstandings have me chewed in knots 

Connect the dots
Connect the dots 
Connect the dots
Connect the dots 
Connect the dots
Connect the dots 
Connect the dots

Connect The Dots

Capsule 

You feel your not there 
It’s all too far out of reach 
Everyone is out of touch 
Completely out the loop 
You’re sliding of the earth 
Can’t formulate your words 

It’s like you float on by 
In the corner of an eye 
Like a flicker in the smoke 
Thoughts don’t land they float 
Through the chaos of everyone 
Leave your capsule if you dare 

Just because you can’t see it
Doesn’t mean it’s not there
Just because you don’t know it 
Doesn’t mean it’s not true 
Just because you can’t feel it
Doesn’t mean it’s not real 

In the shadows you collect 
Ideas and silhouette’s
You balance along the line
Find focus blind to time 
From gravity you escape 
No end horizons left in sight 

Just because you can’t see it
Doesn’t mean it’s not there
Just because you don’t know it 
Doesn’t mean it’s not true 
Just because you can’t feel it
Doesn’t mean it’s not real 

Just because you can’t remember 
Doesn’t mean it didn’t happen 
Just because you didn’t think of it 
Doesn’t mean it’s not good 

Just because you can’t see it
Doesn’t mean it’s not there
Just because you don’t know it 
Doesn’t mean it’s not true 
Just because you can’t feel it
Doesn’t mean it’s not real

Capsule

Comfy

You probably shouldn't ask how I am doing today
Emotions are attacking my heart and tangibles are falling away
Words are missing but I know what I mean
I'm here so I guess that's a start

Just get comfy with me
Settle down with nothing to prove
Just get comfy with me 
Cosy and all judgment free
Just get comfy with me
There's no one that you have to be 
Just get comfy with me

Go feral in the corner escape all the doom and gloom 
Hide from the frazzled air lose those tangled up plans
Stop having to explain my own brain
Turn away from unwanted stares

Just get comfy with me
No rush no emergency
Just get comfy with me 
Cosy in our low energy
Just get comfy with me
Make a new favourite memory


Just get comfy with me

Just get comfy with me

Comfy

Side by Side 

There’s no end to where we start
Side by side no fall apart 
In silence we can hear 
Side by side 
Side by side 

I have moods you do too 
Side by side we move on through 
Both our worlds are on spin
Side by side 
Side by side 

Change track switch back do this but not that 
Go away come here not there where have you gone?
That’s right but wrong to slow you don’t really know 
Keep up that’s good but I don’t want it now 

Let’s hang out not do anything 
Side by side just sharing space 
Safe in our everything 
Side by side 
Side by side 

We sit tight in between 
Side by side not quite seen 
Hide away it’s our favourite thing 
Side by side 
Side by side 

Change track switch back do this but not that 
Go away come here not there where have you gone?
That’s right but wrong to slow you don’t really know 
Keep up that’s good but I don’t want it now 

Change track switch back do this but not that 
Go away come here not there where have you gone?
That’s right but wrong to slow you don’t really know 
Keep up that’s good but I don’t want it now 

Just undo what’s tightly screwed 
Side by side unwind renew 
Have the light warm down on dim
Side by side 
Side by side

Doing things in parallel
Side by side only we can tell 
When nothing is something 
Side by side 
Side by side

Change track switch back do this but not that 
Go away come here not there where have you gone?
That’s right but wrong to slow you don’t really know 
Keep up that’s good but I don’t want it now

Side by Side

Human Being


The moon can’t recognise your face 
The earth might think you’re just using up space 
The sea will never call your name 
The sky will never understand your pain 

And I can hold you in my thoughts 
And I can hold you in my heart 
And I can hold you in my arms 

The rain will fall without your consent 
The trees will never know what you meant 
The wind will blow though you don’t want it to
The snow won’t fall on cue just for you.

And I can hold you in my thoughts 
And I can hold you in my heart 
And I can hold you in my arms 
Like a human being 

And I can hold you in my thoughts 
And I can hold you in my heart 
And I can hold you in my arms 
Like a human being 

The birds will sing if you are there or not 
Soon you will be the thing that time forgot 
The night don’t care if you are deep or wise
The stars won’t respond to your tears or cries

And I can hold you in my thoughts 
And I can hold you in my heart 
And I can hold you in my arms 


Like a human being 
Like a human being

Like a human being (I’m a human being)

Like a human being

Like a human being 

Like a human being

Human Being

Drift

Move through the room hopefully unnoticed 
Don’t look for eyes or conversation 
Let’s be clear I’m not really here 
Drift like a cloud silent in the distance 

(everything’s absurd)

Drift 
Drift 
Drift

Drift

Cut through the mist of mass psychosis 
Collect my thoughts and observations 
Gather ideas before they disappear 
Drift by contemplating existence 

(everything’s absurd)
(everything’s absurd)


Drift 
Drift 
Drift

Drift 

Drift 
Trying to reach you

(everything’s absurd)
(everything’s absurd)


Reaching out for you

Drift

Instrumental.  Taken from the new unplanned Meanwhile In Elsewhere Thought 6 tracks E.P

Start Stop

Same Day

A Moody melting away into a almost dystopian landscape soundscape track

Across The Way

Love Mode Activated

Electronic, Alternative music 

Music maker, producer and lyricist. Currently creating minimalist bass lines, hook focused music.
Whenever possible. 

Now exploring neurodivergent themes. ♾️

Previous airplay on BBC Introducing under different names (including actual name). Plus album release on a small independent label. 

Autjoy music can be purchased via Bandcamp.

That curious space between the music makers and the audience fascinates. 

https://autjoy.bandcamp.com/music

Lyrics are in the song descriptions.

Autjoy

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