Gfoit Ma

Bizzy Montana - Was Du Willst

Basstard Feat. Sido, Kontra K & Ozan - Pablo Picasso    Prod. By Timo Krämer (16BARS.TV)

Albe x THG Max - Rin Itoshi (DEMO)

I remember feeling your filthy eyes scanning over my body 

when we met at the bus station  but now 

 crawling under my cloths in my memory

The plague of your ghost clawing and scratching 

 I tried to block them out

 the memories frozen in the mortuary of my souls  cracked open

Suffocating my ability to live any kind of life worth living 

 escaping the trauma bleeding out hemorrhaging    

out your violence that's been hidden shifting under my skin unknown

like a unwanted phantom limb that's murderous 

grabbing at my skin how long will this last how much more will I have to endure how much more pain do I have to pay

I cry when I remember things I know I'm not suppose to remember thanks to the disorder I didn't  even know I had that protected me from your abuse your violence fuck the thoughts of you they won't stop stabbing me in my mind over and over again

In panic and confusion I can feel the

black bile gush being forced up into my mouth 

bleeding around my teeth as I scream found in the night shaking pleading 

stop beating me you drunk fucking whore When I'm asleep in the dead of night

Covered in cold wet regret and ashamed soaking myself 

being afraid to walk away because I'm fucking scared to death of abandonment 

When the black outs into darkness became

 The signal of survival scorched burning through my veins my alters intervened 

between me, Alice and Odium they where watching waiting until  you broke me past the point of no return 

The  pattern of when you beat me in the middle of the night

 vomiting out all your memories out of my souls

 Into the rusted sink 

where I left my blood to rot and stink

When cutting out the infected left over pieces of your love out of my blood 

When I think of you I want to kill you the way you destroyed me inside and out

Keeping me alive why wouldn't let me leave you narcissistic

control freak you fucking monster domestic abusive cunt 

 I wished you would have die that last day the last time I screamed at you I hope you die over the phone

When you asked me to come save you I left you for dead like you left me for dead in a pool of my own blood dying in a rotting covered in cockroaches feasting in my wounds left in that infested broken down apartment while you got high smoking meth getting fucked by the mother fucker that attempted to kill me 

you used me up where anorexia took the place razorblades  from compulsions of self annihilation  

self harm cutting myself with your scissors in a bathroom just after the first three days of meeting you walking off the bus bitch you catfished me you fat pig slut bitch you tricked me right from the start Now today in the dark asleep shell shocked begging when screamed please stop hitting me as I lay in a pool of blood inside the bathroom where we just bathed naked fucked and kissed together  

 you made me wish I would die while I struggled to stay alive like the walking dead yellow black and blue bruised  I was your sex doll nothing more I hated every time you forced me inside 

But I know your life will always just be as you where when you were with me and drunk fucking piece of shit that should be buried alive  

I don't have to do that because 

I'm sure you will destroy your own life I don't need to hope 

 soon enough over time you'll find no rest until death

Every time I dream

night terrors attack I become homicidal 

To life my soul is set ablaze my mind infected with the Trauma beat into my head 

Screaming fighting you off me in my sleep 

Crying out not knowing where I am 

When I'm in a safe place 

Far away from you 

I now have to seek help to red myself from your disease blocked out from 

any memories I can find behind these healed black and blue eyes 





Warrior feat Guilty

Vearz

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