i never asked for this at all

would you, say
every, day
is harder than
the past, ey

get it, straight
ima, waste
feeling, blame
eat away

what are you doin, what are you doin this weekend, today
im crushing the pain till it eats at my veins
you know that im terrified of fuckin planes

but you get away
and leave me for grace
like every other week, you dont say

i know you dont hate
atums on the way
now im feelin good and cozy, in my brain

oh, october, is comin, im holdin on to grave
wait for the day
--

-autumn-

4x
(i need some rest)

hated everything i
fucking find about your life
about your-
puked out my stomach lines
now i’m fine
i say i’m fine
i say i’m-

swear to god i ain’t shit
showing up just to dip 
weather’s dusk
heart is thin 
i disrupt from within
shoulders touched
fuck is this?
why does love
make me sick
why does trust
never stick
just like us
i’m a bitch 
i’m a-

staring at a screen i 
cannot read i’m so incompetent 
imma take my leave i set the scene
that shit is ominous 
wash away the grease 
feeling clean is what i coveted 
shut your fucking teeth
i wanna scream
i’ve had enough of it

Leaf season w/ autumndropsdead (prod. nvki)

end days (twins)

Dream Girl

Aiden Hilton - Dream Girl (prod. kira)

SUICIDE OF ROMEO(scandibeats)

SORRY_NOT_RLY.wav

the nothing,nowhere. lp

nothing,nowhere - still

Shinigami - I Miss U (ft. YungJZAisDead)

@familypet

shinigami: you said thisll never last so now im falling apart
my face is feeling numb again 
a shattered soul
dont let me go
you killed me first
im sure you know

she said thisll never last now im left in the dark
you saved me from myself again 
after the fall
i knew it all along
i never asked for this at all

you shouldve never let me in at all
now all you can do is watch me crawl
away
isolate myself
and i still can feel it all

and you can see the devil in my gaze
i think its best you stay away from me
im weak why cant you see this

familypet: thinkin back i fucked it up
my brothers just don't give a fuck
we skate until it's dark enough
to smoke and drink
we act don't think
don't think we act our age with it
i know i always ruin shit
i hope i never ruin this
i hope we'll always stay like this
putting each other in hospital beds
remember last summer when i broke my leg
doing a jump at the gap at 18th
remember the time that i knocked out your teeth
i'm glad that you always forgave me
these are the stories and memories that made me
i know i wasn't worth saving
i was just crazy
can't help the fact that i love misbehaving

i never asked for this [feat. familypet]

Lil Boo Weep - I Wrote This Song 4 U

Just a little something we were working on and never released :)

Cover of "If It Means A Lot To You" by A Day To Remember 
Guitar and Mixing by Shinigami
Recorded in 2017

shinigami + shy - If It Means A Lot To You (Acoustic Cover)

Mix/Master: @slumlust
Production: @notmorgn & @guccihighwaters
Feature: @Slumlust

Lyrics-

Slum Lust-

A year went by. “I feel like my sleepless nights eat at my life.” I can’t see the light.
 I’m hiding from my own decided mess. I might just break despite the progress I’ve made and the time I spent bringing you back to life.
 A year went by. “I feel like my sleepless nights eat at my life.” I can’t see the light. I’m lying to myself a lot again.
 You couldn’t breathe that night. We’d fall to the floor outside on the steps. When will the rain subside?

Yung van-

This silence describes me
Echoes inside me
I feel like dying
Drowning my self with my tears
Insanity taunted by fear
A crowns no cure for a headache
Need something way more strong
Maybe some meds for my heartache
But meds will take way too long

Please don't go, no
I can't be on my own
I can't be left alone
Please don't go, no
I'll never make it, no
My love is wasted

A crowns no cure for a headache
Need something way more strong
Maybe some meds for my heartache
But meds will take way too long

Spotify

Crown Of Hearts w/ Slum Lust (Prod. NotMorgn)

cyberbully mom club - i'm tired and i hate this song

produced by @essex
mixed and mastered by @iofmusic
cover art by @emotionalbuu

lyrics:

(Hook)
I just made a bop shawty
I dont wanna stop shawty
Saw you in the club
So i knew that shit forsure
Watched you get it poppin
And from where i had watched it
Got a lil blow
But i spilt it on the floor
Now im lookin down 
when i should be lookin up
And these bitches wanna fuck
I shouldnt do this anymore
Got a heart condition
But i dont like to listen
By the way im livin
I wont make it till tomorrow

(Verse 1)
yea
I cant make this up girl
I dont wanna talk about it anymore
I got too much drugs and i got no more love 
And she still wanna fuck me
Acting like i aint enough
But i aint did enough
And she gon say im fake
I say that its fate 
That we met inside the club
I was gettin fucked up
And you were gettin fucked up
We both out here out lookin just for someone else to love
I cant trust myself now
Think i need some help now
Bitches wanna fuck me
Just because im up
I dont know myself now
I got on two belts now
thinkin that she love me
But dont know who i was

(Hook)
I just made a bop shawty
I dont wanna stop shawty
Saw you in the club
So i knew that shit forsure
Watched you get it poppin
And from where i had watched it
Got a lil blow
But i spilt it on the floor
Now im lookin down 
when i should be lookin up
And these bitches wanna fuck
I shouldnt do this anymore
Got a heart condition
But i dont like to listen
By the way im livin
I wont make it till tomorrow

(Verse 2)
I cant trust myself now
I cant talk no more
Cause i dont talk for cheap
Bitch i dont talk for free
Im making bank when they make songs with me
Bitch im comin up 
Love me when the sun is up
They gon fuckin hate me when the moon is out
Fuckin wit my sound
Type boy mad cause you aint found your sound
you Type boy mad cause you aint found your style
Fucked up baby, yea im fucked up baby
I cop mercedes, just to drive her crazy

(Hook)
I just made a bop shawty
I dont wanna stop shawty
Saw you in the club
So i knew that shit forsure
Watched you get it poppin
And from where i had watched it
Got a lil blow
But i spilt it on the floor
Now im lookin down 
when i should be lookin up
And these bitches wanna fuck
I shouldnt do this anymore
Got a heart condition
But i dont like to listen
By the way im livin
I wont make it till tomorrow

spotify/apple music

Heartstopper (+ ESSEX)

lying2 (prod. 2k6)

Thanks to @lilduckk and @remghost for the outstanding beat and @yungaxstn for featuring on this track

I found a piece of my heart deep inside myself that still loved you good and then I stomped it out. Then I felt myself and I was overrun with all of this.

nothing,nowhere - still

synergene

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