just because you're a 6-footer,
doesn't mean i gotta love you
i don't even like you
you're so un-complex
you've got zero depth

you should get an emmy
for the way you pretend to
befriend me
i wonder how many
were lined up
ahead of me

you always talk about
what a nice person you are
you're so insecure
'cause you grew up too tall
and now you're on socials
trying to act like a star
philanthropist/activist
who flexes his cars

but i see right you through
what did i ever do to you?
you made me just feel like
i was gonna be your baby
then you disappear
without any explaining

guess that's the true you
and i didn't lose you...

just because you're a 6-footer,
doesn't mean i gotta love you
i don't even like you
in fact, i despise you.


* the reason this recording is so low-quality is because i didn't think it was even worth spending more time than the absolute minimum because the person i wrote this about really doesn't deserve another second of my time.

zero

i couldn't believe my eyes when i saw you
you look so good
and i wore a black dress for tonight
just like i said i would

and every day i wake up,
so miserably alone
but i hope inside my head
that it's not gonna last forever
just give it a little time
can't wait until you're mine

and i hope this night it never ends
to my dear lover and my friend

all by myself in this city of fog,
i had no where to go
but i guess in a sick and twisted way,
you still opened up the door

it started out so typical 
who would've known?
'cause i'm almost gone
i don't believe in soulmates
but i know you from before
do you feel the same? 

and i hope this night it never ends
to my dear lover and my friend

Soulmate

everybody dies in the end
but why should that mean that this life that i have is not worth living?
you shot me in the head
can't believe you were here and now you're gone, i'm grieving

thought you'd appreciate
the efforts that i made
to open up so brave
but that was my mistake

the devil laughs at me 
"who's gonna save you now?"
this black cloud rains on me
no one's gonna take you now
no one's gonna take me now
 
once or twice is fine
but it happens every time and its making my mind go crazy
they say that love is blind
but whenever i get too close it feels like i'm never gonna make it

california
look at what you've done
can't get over you
i'm staring at the sun 

the devil laughs at me 
"who's gonna save you now?"
this black cloud rains on me
no one's gonna take you now
no one's gonna take me now

no one (demo)

back to back,
i've been stabbed in the back
it's the same old story
everyone that i love
eventually leaves 
sooner than it seems
you think i'd be desensitized by now
but it just keeps on hurting
and there's nothing i can change
this is just my fate
i think i deserve it
but i still hope and pray
that i'll get my way
i'll wake up and it's gonna be my lucky day
wake up and it's gonna be my lucky day.....

back to back

you could've
picked up the phone
and just said so
but you just 
left me to my own
and i remember the last time 
that we spoke
you sounded distant and cold

what did i do
to make it so easy
erase me out of your life?
and here i am
like a fool
thinking to myself
someday i could be your wife

it always seems the 
good things come to pass
enjoy it while it lasts

i let you in 
and your feelings changed so fast
you couldn't give us a chance

it's just unfortunate

i almost
walked away when i met
you on our first date
i didn't think it was fate
but little did i know that
i was staring at the face
of my next heartbreak

and all my friends said
they'd never seen such a glow
you were good for my soul
i waved goodbye to the
dark days of being all alone
i guess i should've known

it always seems the 
good things come to pass
enjoy it while it lasts

i let you in 
and your feelings changed so fast
you couldn't give us a chance

it's just unfortunate

Unfortunate

you could be here, but you're there
you could be anywhere and these days i don't even care no more
you only be showing me love whenever you've had too much
whatever's been filling your cup, no more
baby, no more showing up when you're not sober
at my front door just to say you're alone tonight
tryna fuck me and my mind up
it's a reminder you're a liar and you know i'm right

you say you can't live without me
so why aren't you dead yet?
why you still breathing?
if you say you can't live without me
then why aren't you dead yet?
why do you say that?

you could be here but you're not, i give whatever you want
but you just take it and run, you run
and i give you so many shots but you just drinking 'em all
you never give it a thought, oh love
baby, no more showing up when you're not sober
at my front door just to say you're alone tonight 
tryna fuck me and my mind up
it's a reminder you're a liar and you know i'm right

you say you can't live without me
so why aren't you dead yet?
why you still breathing?
if you say you can't live without me
then why aren't you dead yet?
why do you say that?
why, why, why, why?
why, why, why, why?
why, why, why, why?
why aren't you dead yet?

Dead (Madison Beer cover)

i know you said to stay
so far away
you’re in your player phase
& you didn’t want to change

but i bet you didn’t think
that you would meet your match, baby
‘cause i’m not afraid of me
not afraid of you
or the damage we could do

and i don’t waste another moment
all of my emotions i can’t control it
baby we’re in love, you just don’t know it
you just don’t know yet

i don’t even blame you, i’d do the same
when all i’ve ever known is weakness & pain
i know i’m probably coming across so insane
but you made me this way

the months go by
and i can’t survive
without you in my life
i think i would rather die

and i know that i might seem like
i’ve got issues, that i know
but i like to mess it up
and self-destruct
and it will never be enough

and i don’t waste another moment
all of my emotions i can’t control it
baby we’re in love, you just don’t know it
you just don’t know yet

i don’t even blame you, i’d do the same
when all i’ve ever known is weakness & pain
i know i’m probably coming across so insane
but you made me this way

you made me this way

girl, tell me what you're doing on the other side
and tell, just tell me what you're doing with that other guy
'cause i ain't got patience to slow down the pace
all your girlfriends are wasted
they need it, they chase it
face it, you want it, you crave it
believe when i say that you'll know once you taste it

all of your friends have been here for too long
they must be waiting for you to move on
girl, i'm not with it, i'm way too far gone
i'm not ready, eyes heavy now
heart on your sleeve like you've never been loved
running in circles, now look what you've done
give you my word as you take it and run
wish you'd let me stay, i'm ready now

just give me some time and space to realize
that you, were busy lying, sleeping 'round with other guys
and what the hell were we?
tell me we weren't just friends
this doesn't make much sense, no
but i'm not hurt, i'm tense
'cause i'll be fine without you, babe

all of your friends have been here for too long
they must be waiting for you to move on
girl, i'm not with it, i'm way too far gone
i'm not ready, eyes heavy now
heart on your sleeve like you've never been loved
running in circles, now look what you've done
give you my word as you take it and run
wish you'd let me stay, i'm ready now

About Me

been on another level
since you came
no more pain
if you look into my eyes
you can't recognize my face
you're in my world now
you can stay,
you can stay
but you belong to me
you belong to me

if it hurts to breathe,
open the window
oh your mind wants to leave,
but you can't go

this is a happy house
we're happy here
in a happy house
this is fun, fun, fun, fun, fun to me
it's fun
it's fun to me

music got you lost
nights end so much quicker than the days did
same clothes, you ain't ready for your day shift
this place will burn you up
but baby it's okay, 'cause they next door
and they working in the trap so get louder if you want
just don't blame it on me
that you didn't call your home
don't blame it on me
'cause you wanted to have fun

Song Originally by The Weeknd

House of Balloons (the weeknd cover)

every saturday night, i get dressed up to ride for you, baby
i'm cruisin' down the street on hollywood & vine for you, baby
i drive fast, wind in my hair
push it to the limit 'cause i just don't care
you ask me where i've been, i've been everywhere
but i don't wanna be nowhere but here

i've got a burning desire for you, baby
got a burning desire for you, baby
i drive fast, wind in my hair
i push it to the limit 'cause i just don't care
i've got a burning desire for you, baby

every saturday night, i seem to come alive for you, baby
santa monica, i'm racin' in the lights for you, baby
i drive fast, radio blares
have to touch myself to pretend you're there
your hand is on my hips, your name is on my lips
over & over again, like my only prayer

i've got a burning desire for you, baby
got a burning desire for you, baby
i drive fast, wind in my hair
i push it to the limit 'cause i just don't care
i've got a burning desire for you, baby

i'm drivin' fast, flash, everyone knows it
i'm trying to get to you, baby
i'm feeling scared & you know it
drive fast, flash, everyone knows it
i'm trying to get to you, baby
i'm feeling scared & you know it

got a burning desire for you, baby

Song Originally by Lana Del Rey

Burning Desire (lana del rey cover)

i'm in a living hell
but i don't wanna go back
even if i did,
i wouldn't know how to act
got everybody fooled,
they think i'm on the right track
but truthfully,
i'm further than the place i was at

i tried to make it work
tell me, what do you say?
he said, "i'm focused on career, love,
i work all day.
there's no reason for tears
on your pretty face."
that's what he told me,
then he walked away

i don't have to see you tonight
but i want to (but i want to)
and there's no chance that you'll be mine
but i'll still wonder (i'll still wonder)
and i don't care what you say
i'll just give it away, away
i don't have to see you tonight 
but i want to (but i want to) 

i've got so many pictures of us
in my head
i'm not wasting my time
there's nothing i'd do instead
i take it as a challenge
this is only a test
and i'm not gonna give up
til the day that i'm dead

if i don't get my way,
i might light up in fire
i can't really contain it,
it's a burning desire
and i don't need my brain,
no discerning required
but if you're the type to pray,
i'll need a moment of silence

i don't have to see you tonight
but i want to (but i want to)
and there's no chance that you'll be mine
but i'll still wonder (i'll still wonder)
and i don't care what you say
i'll just give it away, away
i don't have to see you tonight 
but i want to (but i want to)

I Don't Have To (But I Want To) - demo

after a long and lonely night,
well i guess it’s starting to make sense
i was just wrong and you were right
and it’s best if i just lay this to rest

i’ll always love you
i’ll always want you
if you’ve got any problem,
i’m the one you can run to
nothing’s changed,
though it looks that way

even if you’ve found somebody else
it’s alright
i meant it when i said your happiness
was mine
i’d give you the world and nothing less
any time
but i’m closing this chapter and onto the next
that’s my life

i know it’s all been done before
but i’m hoping that it’s different this time
just when i thought it couldn’t be worse
and i’m blinded by the thoughts in my mind

i’ll always love you
i’ll always want you
in another world
there’s a version of us two 
it’s all the same,
in the end anyway

even if you’ve found somebody else
it’s alright
i meant it when i said your happiness
was mine
i’d give you the world and nothing less
any time
but i’m closing this chapter and onto the next
that’s my life

Thoughts (Quarantine Version)

i have this bohemian dream 
and it’s a picture of me 
while i’m leaving
there’s got to be something 
for me to believe in
(something to believe in)
i can’t keep a man
in fantasy land
he’s telling me to live it up
while i can
but that’s not the plan
it’s not who i am
i’m sorry to say, but it’s just out of my hands

it happens every time
i never know just why
i hide it with a smile
never show them that i cried
i never show them that i cry; but you,
you know just what i like
i’m not your normal type
you’re living in a lie
‘cause you know our love is right
i know you know our love is right

and now that it’s actually over
i’ll just pretend that i’m wise 
‘cause i’m older
but sometimes i still
wonder what it is that you told her
(i wonder what you told her)
i’m having a blast
but it’s not gonna last 
if life is so good,
why does it have to be fast?
it can’t be that bad
stop being so sad
the future is here, and it’s not like the past

it happens every time
i never know just why
i hide it with a smile
never show them that i cried
i never show them that i cry; but you,
you know just what i like
i’m not your normal type
you’re living in a lie
‘cause you know our love is right
i know you know our love is right

Something To Believe In

i’ve got a lot of love, but there’s 
no one i can give it to
i end most nights with a movie,
maybe a drink or two
and i’d be lying if i said that
i don’t think of you
but that’s over now

i hate to say it, there’s
no one but myself to blame
i play it over & over
it’s like my favorite game
but thankfully, i’m the type
who always finds a way
no matter what

& it’s just me, myself, & wine
me, myself, & wine
me, myself, & wine
waste away the time
me, myself, & wine
me, myself, & wine
me, myself, & wine
and life is just divine
(and life is just divine)

you probably think that
i’m waiting for your call tonight
but don’t you worry,
i keep myself preoccupied
i got my freedom the day
that you walked out my life
and there’s no going back

i can’t be bothered, there’s nothing 
standing in my way
live in my own little world
and it’s the perfect place
i wouldn’t even recognize you
if i saw your face
you’re already gone






& it’s just me, myself, & wine
me, myself, & wine 
me, myself, & wine
waste away the time
me, myself, & wine
me, myself, & wine
me, myself, & wine
and life is just divine
(and life is just divine)

me, myself, & wine

i always think of you on my worst days
you really got this way of making it okay
you just can’t deny those magical nights

this city is known for its heartbreaks
how did i end up here in the first place?
you’re one of a kind, and that’s just my type

don’t you leave, you know you’re coming right back
all for me, i can’t believe you did that
what are we? don’t ask me, i’m just here for the ride

whatever you feel, if it’s real, 
then you need to let me know
you’re playing the field, like it’s no big deal
well i’ve got no where to go
(i’ve got no where to go)
i’ve got no where to go
and so the story goes…

i can tell that it’s gonna be a good night
every cell in my soul just wants to come alive
ready or not, you’re all that i’ve got

it’s hard for me, but i know that it’ll be worth it
just believe, that everything is perfect
then you’ll see, the way it comes together is divine

whatever you feel, if it’s real, 
then you need to let me know
you’re playing the field, like it’s no big deal
well i’ve got no where to go
(i’ve got no where to go)
i’ve got no where to go
and so the story goes…

Nowhere To Go

the stars are aligned
the feeling is right
and there's just something in the air tonight
and that's why i'm like
"let's give it a try"

that look in your eye
i'm not sure why
it goes beyond what any language describes
could you be the one to light up my sky?

would you dance with the devil, if the devil was me?
not a chance left in heaven, not where you want to be.
and i can't tell the difference between life and a dream
why does this always happen to me?

understand you're a man & you want what you need
you've abandoned the plan we had originally
and it's sad that we had all these memories
you really mean the world to me

the signs are all saying that you are the one
maybe i'm crazy, but you're all that i want
what are you waiting for - boy, just come on
just come on

in this summer heat,
it's hard to believe
that there's no meaning to the words that you speak
but that doesn't mean
that you gotta leave.

i'm pushed to the wall
i wanted it all
preparing myself for the inevitable fall
but you'll be the cure whenever you call

i'm amazed by this place when it's just you and me
but the daze on your face tells me you disagree
but in case there's a way, maybe, possibly,
there's no where else that I'd rather be

you're afraid it's too late 'cause I'm already weak
just a game that you play, til it all gets real
now I wait for the day that you disappear
you really mean the world to me

the signs are all saying that you are the one
maybe i'm crazy, but you're all that i want
what are you waiting for - boy, just come on
just come on

You Mean the World to Me

hello to everyone
i know that i've been gone
but i think i found real love
i think i met the one
this year has been so rough
i'd nearly given up
i thought i had enough
and that's when lightning struck

can you believe?
is this a dream?
i finally see
what's meant for me
all of those years
all of those tears
and all my fears
just disappeared
i guess when you know, you know
if you love me, don't let me go
don't let me go

a lesson that i've learned
is even when it hurts
even at your worst
just let it run its course
you'll get what you deserve
and every penny's worth
you're always someone's first
'cause that's just how it works

can you believe?
is this a dream?
i finally see
what's meant for me
all of those years
all of those tears
and all my fears
just disappeared
i guess when you know, you know
if you love me, don't let me go
don't let me go

don't let me go

the one 💙

"all i do is glamorize my broken-hearted past" 💔
* all instrumentals, lyrics, photos are 100% original

xpc

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