In this episode we look at the flying snake, attempt to franchise Demolition Man, and try out exploring the fine art of Amazon.

The Grocery Gang

This episode we look at the Barbados thread snake, attempt to franchise Judge Dredd, and look at another piece of fine art found on Amazon.

Straight Out the Pores

This episode we look at the Sonoran coral snake, attempt to franchise Death Becomes Her, and look into the (not so) near future of shaving with lasers.

The Star Throne and Celestial Mirrors

This episode we look at the green anaconda, imagine what Star Wars would look like today if they started with Episode 1, and see if knowing more about a vegetable makes it more appealing.

The One Where Chandler is a Toydarian

We look at the mole snake, franchise Twister, and explore the super natural.

Firm Tubular Bodies

This episode we look at the European eel, franchise Bridesmaids, and talk about alien abduction.

Bridesmaids Presents The Car Guys

What’s Your (Science) Fantasy?

Heads Up. with Jeff And Sean episode 1

Yeti-hunter (Low-talker) Jeff and professional sad-man (nasal-voiced) Sean talk about their abnormal reactions to normal human experiences. They try to connect with their humanity, which they lost some time ago. Along the way, they check out what’s new on social media and eat candy. It sounds dumb, and it is, but at least it’s fun dumb.

The First One

The Second One

Episode 3 we talk Halloween and Necco Wafers.

Halloween

The boys get into some deep convos here. No shallow end in sight. Blow the whistle, 'cause free swim is over, and it's time for the pros to take the stage - or, uh, the pool. Is voting important? Was Marty McFly really the hero of Back to the Future? Do burgers count as sandwiches? Yes, no, and no! I just saved you an hour of your time. You're welcome. And don't forget to look for the hottest, most trademark-violating game of 2017, Settlers of Catandyland - in stores never.

Burger Sandwich

The boys really take the music industry to task on this one. Jeff went on vacation, and he sure has some stories to tell. Apologies for Sean’s audio quality. There’s some nonsense about the manticore that rules the Isle of Misfit Toys before we get to the low-down on Swedish fish. Load up some trash music and get ready to send email from Jon Bon Jovi’s email service – it’s the Christmas episode.

Christmas

2017 is the Year of the Wizard, everyone knows that. Yeah, you didn't ask for it, but that's how magic works. Most of this year we're going to be getting into some eldritch magics, examining the questions we all must face at one point or another: what does it mean to be a wizard? 

We're starting off with some deceptively labeled "children's entertainment" in the form of Harry Potter and Sorcerer's Stone (the film). Did you know Hagrid labors under an enchantment of mind-control? That Harry Potter is a loaded gun, ready to unload at the slightest provocation? That the Houses of the school are a dystopian method of societal control? We get into some quidditch nonsense too. Join us for some arcanum obscura while we expose the dark designs behind every action in Hogwart's hallowed halls. 

Welcome to wizard middle school. Hope you have life insurance.

Harry Potter Begins

Wizard Year 2017 continues with Harry Potter 2: Snake Stuff. Is Harry Potter actually Lord Voldemort, a la Fight Club? Does Hagrid try to get Harry Potter killed? Just what kind of judicial system do these wizards have, anyway? The threads of Dumbledore’s plot are becoming more tangled, but we sort it out for you. Come along for a magical train ride, if some stupid elf doesn’t lock you out. Elves – always jerks. (And, in keeping with Bret and Jeff’s obsession with the love lives of pre-teens, they pitch a new podcast, Potter After Dark. Buncha pervos in this one, dawwwwgs.)

Harry Potter and the Dolph Lundgren of Romance

We dip our little toes into the behind the scenes of the podcast – for instance, how do we look at Twitter? Top down, or oldest to newest? Don’t worry about that nonsense, though – we loaded this ep with some more excellent Harry Potter discussions. Wizard cops? Total shit. But Wizard Police Academy? Now we’re cooking with magic! Elves are slaves, people are prizes, and ghosts are peepin’ your doinkers in this super cool film, and we got the hot scoop. Dump your memories in a bowl and see if you can find the DARE program, because we wrap up with a weird, out-of-place, anti-drug message.

Harry Potter Academy

Kyle’s Click gets us somewhere! Finally! It’s all coming home in this one, like the proverbial cows and dinners. Have we lost you already? Well, stick around for some cloaca talk – after another long discussion about the byzantine processes of law in the wizarding world. It’s time for some Order of the Phoenix – well, it’s time for the Order of the Phoenix to be briefly introduced, and then forgotten about until the end of the film. Can young upstart Voldemort change the tyranny of the Ministry? Or will he be foiled by the child-army of the terrorist Dumbledore, who seeks to overthrow the Ministry for his own, darker reasons? This episode is super stuffed with content – dip these salty boys in some milk and get masticating – it’s time for Heads Up. 


Talking points: Gun Ownership in the Neo-Apocalypse; Drone Strikes on the Soul; We Don’t Need No Education (Even If It’s to Learn Reality-Changing Magic); YOUR FATHER WAS A SWINE; Bellatrix/Bella-kickflips; Fuckin’ Millennials.

Harry Potter and the Dead Wizards Society

Boy howdy, we got some bucking broncos in this one, pardners. Sean really makes Jeff and Bret put the lotion in the basket in Kyle’s Click. March through that swamp to get to the sweet nougat within – we ‘analyze’ Harry Potter and the sixth Harry Potter movie, the Prince Years. Right off the bat, we get into some deep sacrilege. Clean your house with a spell! Did you know that all rats are into anime, and if you own a rat, they need a Heads Up-branded trilby right now. Oh, and hey – why IS young Harry Potter always covered in blood? Also we ate 100 Grand candy bars. 



TALKING POINTS: The Seduction of Slughorn, or, the Harry Honeytrap; “I know – I’ll solve my problem with drugs!”; Double Dog Dare Snape; Loveable Becker; Rumplestiltskin’s lesser known companion, Peter Naysayer.

Harry Potter and The Seduction of Slughorn

Preheat that oven, prepare your protein and vegetables, and join us as we get cooking with children's books that will give them a real feel for government and try to settle the age old question of what would win in a fight; a murder of tiny horses or a farm of ants. We get into Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part: 1. An awkward dinner party,  inviting half the wizarding world to your secret safe house for a wedding, and three high school drop outs trying to live out their favorite movie franchise in the woods. Then we snap into some Heath bars. 


Talking points
Touch the Abs, Cotton Loafers, Tiny Horse in the Big Ant Farm, Look Who Came to Dinner and Won't Leave, Wall Street Serpents

Harry Potter and Deathly Boredom

Get your DSL ready as we tackle the big issues like; what kind of internet access do astronauts have? If a tweet is posted on your behalf is it still yours? How much does Jeff know about Kim Kardashian West? We also tackle the final "film" in the Harry Potter series The Deathly Hallows Part 2.  Harry Potter assembles a crew Danny Ocean style to break into a bank and they spend less time on it then they spend wandering in the wood in the previous movie. We ponder what an appropriate funeral would be for a house elf and what kind of magic their bones may contain. We also Skor some sweet candy. 

Talking Points:
E.T. Tweet Home; Famously Blackberry; Blame the Old Wand Seller; Tough Guy on the Fly; "Lupin, Quote Thyself"; Hagrid Is Here Too!; Wormtail's Waifu; Cry 'Em Out

Potter's Eleven

Bust out your fidget spinners, tap into your inner millennial, and get ready for some of our signature banter. Put everything you think you know about bears on ice because you're going to learn some new "facts". Then we continue 2017, The Year of the Wizard, with a look into the Wizard of Oz. We uncover some shady business practices at the Gale farm and then dive into the gang-like border disputes of Oz. Mr. Goodbar's nuts foment chaos in the ranks. 

Talking Points:
Millennial at heart; Muppet mini series; Jeff the Movie Describer; Mammals always win: oceanic edition; Polar bears on the spectrum; HARD water; Teen bites neighbor; Glinda's takeover

The Good, The Bad, and The Dorothy

Like the Mona Lisa of the modern world we are out in the world and our cultural importance is a mystery. We cover the big topics; the secret society of animals, how to really make an entrance, the next billion dollar movie universe(Oh-yeah!), and Patrick Stewart's life as an actor. Witches, wizard what's the difference? We find out that a movie staring unsettling mouse muppets does not have the answers. Then we discover that conspiracy theories riddle the world of circus peanuts. 

Talking points: 
The secret life of pets, Dogtorate, smashing entrances, corporate mascot cinematic universe, Patrick the Steward, fully Mr. Beaned, Sean a life on canvas, Bird-Jeff, shaping minds, Circus of conspiracies

Of Mice and Mediocrity

We've been in our caves, but we're back, our hair parts are on point, and we've got some life hacks. In the war of science vs nature, will you choose a side? In this episode, we start on The Lord of the Rings series with The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring. We cover Gandalf's diva behavior, the ring wraith's poor sense of direction and social skills, and we talk cast for the inevitable reboot. We also find out what kind of wizard Jeff would be based on what he has learned. After, things get a little Nutrageous in the candy section. 

Talking points:
Accomplishments, Life hacks, Dr. Strangeplum or: how I learned to stop foraging and love the lab, sharktagon, splitting hairs, dank middle-earth, hoodlum, Martin, Samwise the Cramper, Penelope, trap doors,

The Lord of the Rings: Hoodlums, Hood rats, and Caves

We're coming in hot! Sean shares his favorite way to prepare pasta. Hear as Jeff battles his very own Shelob. Did you know Arachnophobia was a sequel to Charlotte's Web? 

This week we talk Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers. We look at how the movie could have been improved by stealing from other movies. We cover it all -- from the stink of Aragorn, to Legolas lying to try to look cool, to Sam showing his true colors. We also go in depth into the sleepwear of elves. How did we not realize that there is someone in each movie that is tasting blood?! 

Then we "get the sensation" with some sick ass sick York Peppermint Patties and uncover the danger of ideas. 

Talking Points:
Hit the ground sweating, Schrödinger's pasta, Game of Nerds, Spider Fight, Bumbleized Balrog, Air quoted, "We" are lost, Sam "the Shrew from the Shire" Gamgee, the scent of a man, Frederick's of Rivendell, minting great test results, Red (white and blue) flags.

The Lord of the Rings: Tower Heist

Wake up from your government issued comas and get ready for Episode 20. Bret is back and he is full of plums and avocados. He might even have a new landlord. 

We’re talking the third and final movie in the Lord of the Rings trilogy -- The Return of the King. In a time before sandwiches, when close friends were really close, where orcs tire of harvesting lava, there are elves waiting to sail off to Heaven's Gate.

We also take trips to Japan and Australia in the candy segment as we debate the fastest way to become a robot person. So don't just break off one or two of this episode's segments, bite right into the whole thing. If you do that you'll be sure to win, Kitto Katto!


Talking Points:
Middle school comas, ban strengthening unions, avocadon't, the reason for sandwiches, hot spaghetti, Elrond Hubbard, playing favorites, fake feminist agenda, "really" close friends, fat doesn't fade, top five essential spells, which king, micro chipping, DJ Fat Hobbit, accents, kitto katsu

The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the Bret

Episode Description:

In this episode, we have our very first non-Bret special guest. The often hinted at, the occasionally mentioned, and the one time contended number one fan of Heads Up. with Jeff and Sean. It's Hollee! Sean may be Jeff's better half in podcasting, but Hollee is Jeff's better half in life. They share an apartment, they share a dog, and now they share a microphone. 

Our spirits soar higher than Jeff's childhood kite in his parent's front yard as we avoid our personal grievances and come up with Whole Foods’ next big thing. We discover the true story behind N.W.A.'s biggest hit. We also find that people "around the world" have forgotten about yo-yos. We need to "rock the baby" on this one! The yo-yo's reputation is barely hanging on. We need to bring it back before it falls "off-string." Stop "sleeping" on them. Get back on the yo-yo train before this trend comes "looping" back into fashion. "Walk the dog" to your nearest hobby shop and pick one up... or just wait for Jeff's yo-yo iPhone app... TM. 

Hoods are on people’s heads and minds as we discuss the story of a seasoned (and toned) wizard who brings a young man into the fold to teach him the tricks and pitfalls of being an American wizard in the heart of Florida in the movie Magic Mike. 

Then join us in the C-Zone as we discuss Sour Patch Kids. A candy that is much like Sean, sour then sweet. We find the best way to eat these is to leave them out overnight and let the spiders get a taste. 
Hear Jeff, the man of a thousand voices, as he transforms into Disney's most iconic character. Our collective sugar highs, however, can't keep us away from discussing the future of Magic Michael and Matthew McConaughey's bongos. So buckle up in your well preserved truck, find someone dressed to be bothered, and enjoy the show. 


Talking points:

Personal grievances, kite flyers with attitude, the complete thought, fuzzy Whole Foods, from the hood, pumped up (penis), the way you look tonight, Melissa McConaughey, box o' gay, take it off broadway, doinker watch, clean hands, the wand you were born with, the Hung Hoodie and Sleazy Swallows, the wonderful world of Jeff impressions, C-Zone, stale candy, sour milk

Magic Michael

Hey Dude,

Welcome to Heads Up with Jeff and Sean, the world’s leading seahorse fan cast. Giddy up as we start this episode “ball out” talking about early 2000s dating shows and stables. 

Take a knee as Jeff attempts to pander to Sean, which Sean obviously rejects immediately. Instead, Sean chooses to wade through the honest agony that is Kyle’s Click. Marvel at the pair’s inability to thoughtfully look back and reflect on a year of podcasting. Using such advanced tools as the internet, the guys move the conversation to the various catch phrases of Full House and ponder what their lives could have been like if they were friends with Andrea Barber (Kimmy Gibbler) in real life. 

Then, listen as our duo knowingly eat PEZ from 2011, work through loading PEZ dispensers, and figure out the proper way to eat PEZ. We also discuss the best way PEZ can start marketing to adults. 

This episode packs a bigger bang than C4 tucked under your ding dong. So be ready for some controversial stances and please... have mercy!


Talking points

Flavor of Love, yeah boi!, nicknames, Hoops, New York, water dog, seahorse fan cast, stable interviews, can you own a horse?, can you own glue?, 0% APR from God, Wikipedia hole, O say can you knee, customer service kills per year, no hands ball, cut it out, how rude, have mercy! Andrea Barber, did I do that?, pandermodium, Full House, Hey Dude, CBS, dipping out, 9/11, explosive briefs, speed limits, heaven, public figures, old pez

Gabbing About Gibbler

Things get spooky as our bi-hosts attempt to earn their stripes after learning of a murder on the Heads Up Express. Join our stallions as they show off their knowledge of the animal kingdom with more zebra facts than there are zebras in Madagascar. Hear tales of real people living out the actual plots of not great movies. 

Then we continue 2017’s mission to help Jeff understand wizards by watching Hocus Pocus. We bring back a fan favorite segment: Jeff, Movie Summarizer because Sean only saw less than five minutes of an indeterminable part of the movie. 

After that, prepare your ears as we discuss Candy Corn. Some say, “love conquers all,” but only Sean can conquer love. Things are said about gingerbread men that can’t be taken back and then worse things are said about Taco Bell. So listen, if you dare. 

Talking points
Hoofing it, Death Becomes Segment, stallions, Racing Stripes, Madagascar, Hocus Fuckus, Buttus Pocus, morality czar, the pit, on the border of food, On Blast with Sean

Murder on the Heads Up Express

This episode we talk sheep, the movie Willow, and gummy worms. 

Talking points

rat race, sheep, shupe, Willow, 90s sensibility, Gumped, George Lucas, DeMoulas on notice, Haribo, grapes all skin

Getting That Cheese

It's December and we're talking reindeer, candy canes, and The Santa Clause.

Click Click Caine Cane

This episode starts under the sea, correcting one of God’s mistakes. Then we reflect on the “Year of the Wizard” and see what knowledge Jeff has gained in 2017 by creating a treatment for Heads Up very own wizard movie. After we send the “Year of the Wizard” off with a Kiss. 

Talking points

Lobsters, semen, Enthrilled, voice box,  bossy, Wanda Sykes, wizards, Bernie, Merlin, in door plumbing, Milton, Snavely, paste, wrapper

Weekend at Merlin's

We start this episode by finding out whether you can still be friends with someone who relates to a lesser panda. 
After, we take a look at the Paddington 2 trailers to see if we can figure out what this movie is all about.  
Then, sometimes you feel like a nut and sometimes you feel like Jeff’s candy picks are a personal attack. 

Talking points

Heads Up morning zoo crew, red panda, spirit animal, climb down head first, false thumbs, inbreeding depression, fur trade, escape from chain link fence, ocean’s 10,000, galoshes, the curious case of the pop-up or Paddington goes to jail in a flash, Knuckles McGinty, Sally Hawkins, fish monster, every movie happens in the same universe, the “almond” joy of personal attacks, nut oil, when is a but not a nut?, eating train cars

The Shape of Paddington

Beavers, Butts, and Candy!

This Episode we look at and redesign Beavers. Then we tackle whether or not it is ever okay to poop in public and if doing so can stop true love. After that we talk about Necco's elusive Clark bar.

Crunchy J and Lil' Twink present: The Butt Episode

We examine and improve the wombat, franchise The Truman Show, and talk salt water taffy

Chipmunk Cheeks and Corpses Eyes

This episode we look at the Arabian Sand Boa, A Kid in King Arthur's Court, and Kool-Aid brand candy.

Get That Nut

In this episode we look at the tentacle snake, try to franchise E.T., and talk Reese's Pieces.

Popular tracks by Heads Up. with Jeff and Sean