I used the word "Grappling" because I figure people will tune out if I tell them this episode is about pro wrestling.  Shit.  Well, you should listen anyway.  Contained within this episode are stories that I promise you will find interesting whether you care about wrestling or not.  And when I say "promise", it's really more of a hope than a guarantee.

Free Legal Advice

Episode 225 - Grappling Queries

You may not have known this about us, folks, but we're shark-jumpers.  To a man.  We've never met a shark we wouldn't jump.  Now, to be fair, none of us have ever, even once, met a shark, so this has never actually come into play before.  Actually, this is probably why you didn't know this about us.  We're all learning things today, aren't we?

Episode 314 - Jumping Over a Shark and into Our Graves

In an effort to give equal time to all viewpoints, we're continuing our series on medical quackery.  Sure, this stuff has all been proven false beyond all doubt, and practicing anything you hear in this episode could only even charitably be described as insane, but we're going to let you do your OWN research, listeners.

Episode 315 - Still Not Cured?  Try Hard Narcotics This Time!

Every school child at some point learns that André Giant is the 8th Wonder of the World.  But it's rare that teachers ever go over the other seven.  This makes sense, considering how old and worn out those other seven are.  That's why this week, we're figuring out seven wonders for the modern age.  Also, Chyna is the 9th.

Episode 316 - André Is the 8th, but What Are the Other Seven?

Ever heard of the movie Fire and Ice?  Probably not.  We have plenty of silly observations about it that should satisfy you anyway.  And it's probably more entertaining than actually watching the movie, anyway.

Episode 317 - This Magical Fantasy Cartoon Is 18+ Only

Anyone who doesn't treat business like war will just end up getting killed.  Killed in business, I mean.  Although, really, probably killed in real life, too, by the greedy, bloodthirsty psychopaths who view all human endeavor as an opportunity to dominate their fellow man.  #RiseAndGrindYourFaceIntoDust

Episode 318 - Sun Tzu's The Art of the Deal

Ol' Grant's got another trick up his sleeve, whereby he disguises an old topic as a new topic, simply by putting a small spin on it.  This particular gimmick, however, I think could actually be an entire podcast series by itself, so I'm sad that this will be the only time we do it.  Unless one of my genius brothers steals this idea, puts a tiny twist on it, and uses it for a future episode.  Hint hint...

Episode 319 - One Last Ride up That Mountain

As the title says, this podcast promises to cure your scrofula, or your money back.  Ha!  Joke's on you!  You didn't pay us any money in the first place!  At all!  We make absolutely nothing whatsoever doing this!  I repeat, the joke is on you!

Episode 320 - Scrofula Cured or Your Money Back!

We bring back an oooold favorite this week, with the classic six-pack-o-pitches episode format that fans of all ages loved and adored.  They loved and adored it, dammit.  They may, and do, say otherwise, but don't listen to them.  What the hell do they know?  They're the ones who've been clamoring for its revival, according to me, so why wouldn't they love and adore it?  Also according to me?

Episode 321 - Has This Ever Happened to You?!

Over 200 episodes ago, we stole the Tournament of Nerds idea.  Did I say stole?  I mean created ourselves.  Sorry, sometimes I confuse those two phrases.  Anyway, we're bringing it back this week.  If four years seems like a short time to wait for a rehash like this, consider that I sometimes don't even wait four weeks to rehash my own topics, none of which work as well as this one.  Speaking of which, I really should have just copied and pasted here whatever I wrote for the episode four years ago.

Episode 322 - Revenge of the Tournament of Nerds

We specialize in short, snappy, memorable phrases that ensure positive associations of your brand identity within the key demographic.  That's why they call us Free Slogan Advice.  Or was it Free Marketing Advice?  Well, they sure as hell don't call us Free Naming Advice, so I think it's fine to punt on this one.

Episode 323 - The Army Corps of Sloganeers

Are you a victim of work-related ennui, melancholy or mesothelioma? Free Legal Advice Podcast is here to serve YOU!

Episode 225 - Grappling Queries

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