two of us

as i sit and observe 
i tend 
to
drift into 
some sort of a bliss 
i miss not feeling like this 
wonder if he can taste the pain
on my lips
when we kiss 
afraid when he looks at me  
he questions me 
misunderstood 
fadin
into the abyss 
time is of the essence 
at least that’s what 
they all say 
heartache or shame 
whatever it is 
i’ve 
been carrying this around
for awhile 
since a child 
and to be honest
i couldn’t tell you 
 what’s wrong 
with me 
but it’s slowly killin me 
pills 
easily numb 
the misery 
therapist asks which ones i take 
told her 
you can 
call them 
different names 
but at the end of the day 
which ones gonna take me away 
maybe 
were worthy 
of recovery 
they tell us 
we aren’t alone 
when we feel 
the way we do 
know this ain’t the truth 
why am i here ? 
tell me 
what do i do?
mother said 
get out 
go round 
and 
meet people 
but momma 
i can’t make friends 
all 
these bitches broke ends
you can’t tell me 
that 
that 
just 
ain’t reality 
or that i’m being analytical 
when i sit in this crowded room 
i see 
all 
they’re mouths move 
but all 
their voices do 
is consume 
me into 
a vacuumless loom
the more they strip me 
they try to script me 
and flip me 
but they could never get me 
i tell my self they could never get me 
seems everything that hated me 
strayed from me 
at a little age 
all i wanted was someone 
who spoke my souls 
poetry 
help me carry some baggage 
but i get that’s not fair to ask
could take 
feelin judged by few 
but i’m feelin judged by you 
feelin judged by the world 
then my mind plays a tune 
i know 
it takes 
yeah it takes me back 
to a time that i didn’t feel alone 
like back to smoking to 
much tabacco 
i get so high and low 
fighting myself 
so i sit quietly 
as they flip
me and script 
me 
but i can’t even get me 
no i can’t even get me 
so i watch them 
when their minds scram 
as they 
flip me 
and script me 
tryin there best to get me 
know they trying there best 
but how you gonna do that 
when i can’t even get me 
~nyiad 🖤✨

relevance ~ nyiad ✩ ✩ ✩

gone tomorrow ~ nyiad ‧₊˚🖇️

ghostly -nyiad

purple flowers -nyiad

summer25-nyiad

don’t think about that shit to much-nyaid

hopethiswritesyouwell.

all sins are an attempt to feel a void 
why can’t you stay with me 
now 
when i say this line 
baby i know it hurts now 
but your gonna be alright
stop doing things 
that are killin you
there’s a life you haven’t seen 
yet and maybe 
that’s why you dont understand 
why 
but i promise your a gift 
to this world 
you just gotta stay 
and find out why 
don’t worry 
life ain’t beautiful 
you gotta make it that way 
you planting flowers 
in my soul 
and thats what i wish 
you’d see when ya eyes bloom 
it happens when you amused 
you chasing unreal 
dopamine 
i got that gene to 
so believe me 
when i say 
i ain’t feel seen 
to 
you said sorry for the weight you add
but little do you know 
your easy to hold 
i think what’s heavy is on ya soul 
we all feel that way 
we’re flawed and full of difficult 
contradictions 
livin in a state of depiction 
tell me why you feel so constricted 
is it the deception
they tellin you who to 
be through a screen 
the older we get 
the less we understand 
everything seemed so simple 
as a kid 
i observe
so i know how much you hide 
that hesitation 
in a fake smile 
breaths deep 
you ain’t gotta lie 
what you feel you tend 
to find in others 
all sins are an attempt to feel a void 
why can’t you stay with me 
now 
when i say this line 
baby i know it hurts now 
but your gonna be alright
stop doing things 
that are killin you
there’s a life you haven’t seen 
yet and maybe 
that’s why you dont understand 
why 
but i promise your a gift 
to this world 
you just gotta stay 
and find out why 
don’t worry 
life ain’t beautiful 
you gotta make it that way 
you planting flowers 
in my soul 
and thats what i wish 
you’d see when ya eyes bloom 
it happens when you amused 
you chasing unreal 
dopamine 
i got that gene to 
so believe me 
when i say 
i ain’t feel seen 
to 
you said sorry for the weight you add
but little do you know 
your easy to hold 
i think what’s heavy is on ya soul 
we all feel that way 
we’re flawed and full of difficult 
contradictions 
livin in a state of depiction 
tell me why you feel so constricted 
is it the deception
they tellin you who to 
be through a screen 
the older we get 
the less we understand 
everything seemed so simple 
as a kid 
i observe
so i know how much you hide 
that hesitation 
in a fake smile 
breaths deep 
you ain’t gotta lie 
what you feel you tend 
to find in others

all sins ⋆ -nyiad ⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪

(Lyrics)
mmmmm
hmmm
i guess i should go 
even tho this is all i know 
and see  i’m punching air 
i knew it would hurt in the beginning 
wonder 
why do i take things so personally 
but always feeling like it is 
done purposely 
we remember it so differently 
tell me honey 
were you even there?
why is it so easy for you not to care?
is my smell still in the air?
my hair in all the odd places 
do you still get memories of me?
in the beginning 
you said 
“i don’t wanna end up hurting you”
but i think we both knew 
that you were always going to 
and when the clouds 
come and rain and 
my feelings in 
pain
wanna sip on 
champagne 
i’ll still smell ya 
butane 
chest pains
for 
love we’ll
never have 
i really thought you’d choose me in 
the end 
mmmmm
hmmm
i guess i should go 
even tho this is all i know 
punchin air
knew it would hurt in the beginning 
wonder 
why do i take things so personally 
but always feeling like it is 
done purposely 
we remember it so differently 
tell me honey 
were you even there?
why is it so easy for you not to care?
is my smell still in the air?
my hair in all the odd places 
do you still get memories of me 
in the beginning 
you said 
“i don’t wanna end up hurting you”
but i think we both knew 
that you were always going to 
and when the clouds 
come and rain and 
my feelings in 
pain
wanna sip on 
champagne 
i’ll still smell ya 
butane 
chest pain
for the love we’ll
never have 
i really thought you’d choose me in 
the end

i guess i should go -nyiad ⋆. 𐙚 ˚

this for a special somebody :)

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(Prod. @kimj)

LOVESONG (Prod.kimj)

Ramosa ♪

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