This shit holds up even after this much time

I can't podcast 'cause I hurt my arm
I can't get a fish I don't have a barn
I can't drive my truck 'cause my bike has a flat
I can't pet your turtle I'm allergic to cats
I can't go skiing I forgot my snorkel
I can't go pee must've broke my corn hole
I can't tie my shoes 'cause my forehead's sweaty
I can't make a sandwich 'cause I'm outta spaghetti

I'm the Mexican Samuel Jackson - Glass
Bones shatter I'll get fatter stuck here sitting on my ass
Sean can be my Bruce Willis wanna know my true feelings?
I'm committing more self-harm than depressed women
But I don't use a razor to slice my thighs
My weapon of choice? Light exercise
It's a cry for help 'cause I find myself
More and more every week wanting to fire myself
Out of a cannon and into the sun as my patrons' funds 
Take a permanent vacation inflation sucks!
It affects my bottom line which affects how many lines
I can buy and I find it's nice to find the time
To just unwind and by "just unwind" I mean just unwind
All meat inside my arm it's all up fucked like Chris the Kiwi
So now I need a week to lie in bed and touch my weenie

I walked my dog and I broke my foot
I sat in a chair and I broke my tush
I held a sign and I broke my head
Falling apart like a zombie from The Walking Dead
I got a boner and I broke my dick
I swatted a fly and I broke my wrist
I put on shoes and I broke my toes
Then I got 3rd degree burns 'cause I made some toast

Everybody's body's different mine is like a Christmas cracker
Designed to snap and then after you find out the junk inside barely works
Every day I get out of bed and everything really hurts 
Just listen to these voicemails! They're giving me a hard time
Why guys? Not nice :( don't you realize my
Arm bone's connected to my being in the zone bone
Oh no arm broke guess I'll be a no show
No show this week I feel too weak also woozy too much boozing
Bowling's hard don't body shame me fellas and I can't even sun tan man I forgot my umbrella

And now Jim says that I'm fakin' and that Ethan's made of bacon 
And his skin is thin and frying eating pills while also crying
But I promise I'm not lying it's just every day I'm trying
To speed up the process of accidentally dying

Bowling + crosswords shit got crazy
Forgot to let the ball go whoopsie daisy 
Now my arm lumps aren't where they're supposed to be
"Bring that first aid kit and keep it close to me!"
I brushed my teeth and I broke my face
Kicked a ball broke my leg
It hurts and I am NOT OKAY
This Sunday I'll fall down the stairs to my basement 
I've been saving up my Bitcoin for the hip replacement

See you next Tuesday until then you can find me
Double-fisting beer and jerking off at the same time we
Need to be kind to our bodies they're temples
Hey honey could you pick me up a wheelchair rental?
I fell down broke my spine just putting my pants on
I can't move been lying here through this entire damn song
Podcast benefits can't be beaten
I take one sick day get a two week weekend

I can't buy groceries I don't have fleas
I can't take a shower I don't have geese
I hurt all night and I hurt all day
My bones consist of paper mache

I can't bake a pie I'm not Darth Vader
I can't go swimming without my cheese grater
No I can't take the trash out I have a drippy faucet
And I can't believe you can't believe this Masterson logic

I zipped my fly and my balls got caught
I put on gloves and my skin peeled off
I choked to death on a single pea
I broke my teeth on very soft cheese

I tapped my foot and I broke my heel
I dropped rat poison in my meal
I waved hello and blew out my elbow
What can I say? I'm a fragile fellow

I wrote a note and I gouged my eyes
How the hell am I alive?
I pet my dog and I broke my scrotum
Stabbed myself playing Texas Hold 'Em

I shook your hand and I broke my hand
It hurts so much I can't even stand
I'm just a man who keeps getting injuries
Biggest klutz in Mexican history

(instrumental stolen from Matronix -Got To Have Your Love)

No Show

This just had to be made, doesn't it? Here you go.

For Squidcore. (MtH)

Splatting The Bassline (D.S. Remix)

DatNiggaOvaDer and Toonlink are basically responsible for all of my new followers at this point. That project is still being worked on though, so prepare to have your panties dropped. more like flopped lmao shitcore was awful and shitcore 2 was cancelled

Training Mode: Super Smash Bros. 64 #freegiiva

I originally just wanted to make a song that would utilize the skull trumpet as the main instrument for Halloween

But it became this unholy amalgamation of Decap Attack, Sonic CD, Caravan Palace and memes

Tracked in OpenMPT

Original Impulse Tracker module: https://www.dropbox.com/s/t5oa8j42mqdwc7r/Firage_-_The_Grim_Reaper_Blows_the_Horn.it?dl=0 (1.06 MB)

2017

The Grim Reaper Blows the Horn

This was fun! Glad someone finally grabbed that acapella

Ya Boy

Katamari Odyssey

Elizabeth's Weapon Of Choice

Skate Or Don't is track #1 from Now in Technicolor. Enjoy!

Bandcamp:
https://noisemaster.bandcamp.com/album/now-in-technicolor

YouTube playlist:
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL9A5z1iPQIu_fBI8_miDi6XwThWZS_pMW

Skate Or Don't

Music: Hardware Store and More!
Composers: "Weird Al" Yankovic, Greg Kihn, Steve Wright, Michael Jackson
Arrangement: LarryInc64
Original Songs: Hardware Store, Dare To Be Stupid, I Lost On Jeopardy, Fat
Original Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0as612sdd-0

Please read the channel description.

Hardware Store And More! - SiIvaGunner King For A Day Tournament

:(

Watch the full video here
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KWEUwQO-gzM

Goodbye Wii Shop - Piano Tribute

Hey! So after he last track was filler until I could release this track, I think It'd be sorta safe if I just did anyways. I spent a long ass time on this, so I hope you enjoy! Gonna post the information from the last track again along with this so: 

1. I have opened a new Discord Server: https://discord.gg/m79S8UC

2. I'd like to just thank you guys for 300 followers, I never really know if I'm going to ever make a follower special or anything since I might as well not force an idea on myself so just thought it'd be better to just thank people instead. 

3. The Third and Last thing is just a reminder to follow me on Twitter, I post there a lot and I have no idea how to gain traction, so I'll just post it here in the description along with my Curiouscat which I haven't used in ages 

The links to everything will be posted below:

Discord: https://discord.gg/m79S8UC

CuriousCat: https://curiouscat.me/Trifly

Twitter: https://twitter.com/trifly123

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DKw9Lke_4Jg&feature=youtu.be

Lipslap! At The Goldenrod City Game Corner

Watch it on Youtube here!
https://youtu.be/ZhnVJR1Gjlw

Listen to it on Spotify and Itunes here! 
https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/blvkarot/back-to-lavender-town

No Show

Hidden Kenolli

Recent comments

east coast retard

momo

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