Book of Sighs

Living on My Deathbed

All the best days of my life have passed me by
This messed up world still wants my best try 
Give a hundred percent
You gotta pay rent
Drag your ass to church on Sunday, repent

I’m trying
Why does it feel like I’m dying? 

I don’t want to live down here but baby I’m stranded 
These are the lousiest cards I’ve ever been handed
The rain pours down, the ground gets wetter,
I wear this shame like a scarlet letter
Painted on my head
Living on my deathbed

The doc gave one for pain and one for depression 
‘Cause I’ve never been good at cleaning up messes
And now, I’ve got bills
To pay for these pills
But I never get better, they’re making me ill

He’s lying
I still feel like I’m dying 

I don’t want to live down here but baby I’m stranded 
These are the lousiest cards I’ve ever been handed
The rain pours down, the ground gets wetter,
I wear this pain like a barbed wire sweater
Hanging by a thread
Living on my deathbed

I’m filled with holes like a pair of blue jeans
I patch one up then rip a new seam 
Then drive off course into the well
I swear rock bottom feels just like hell
So far down and there’s no way out
I claw the walls and I scream and shout
I curse at God and he yells right back
You’re gonna learn never talk to me like that

I don’t want to live down here but baby I’m stranded 
These are the lousiest cards I’ve ever been handed
The rain pours down, the ground gets wetter
Thought it couldn’t get worse but I should’ve known better 
Just like I said

I don’t want to live down here but baby I’m stranded 
These are the lousiest cards I’ve ever been handed
The rain pours down, the ground gets wetter
I wear this shame like a scarlet letter
Just like I said
I’m living on my deathbed 

Lyrics © 2025 Brooke Justus. All Rights Reserved.

living on my deathbed

Waves

True story: I socialized with a guy in the late 90s who had been in a mid tier rock band (redacted) in the late 70s/early 80s. After the fame, there wasn't any money, and he had a regular everyman job like me. He had great stories, though...
A slow burner blues with a smooth groove.
From the album: "Curiosities Of Outsider Art" (Sept 2025)

Lyrics:
I just hate that celebrity bullshit
I can smell it
From a million miles away
That's what he'd say
Right there, at the bar
Having a drink
Or 2
Or 10

A broken-down singer
With too many dreams
A broken-down singer
With too many screams
Up over
A heavy metal (huh!)
Double kick drum
He says: I've been on tour all over the world
I've  been to a lot of places
And I just love every place that I'm from
But, I could use 
A billion dollar blues
Billion dollar blues
A billion dollar blues...

I was restless
And I had stars in my eyes
Dreaming about the magazine covers
And the limousine rides
Having those women at my will
Taking all the cash out of the till
Some nights I  just stay up late
Thinking about it. 
Thinking about what could have been

And......
Then I walk in ...
To a room full of bitter Muses
With bad attitudes
And  short fuses
I could use
A billion dollar blues
Billion dollar blues...

Billion Dollar Blues

Rhymes of  Lost Trouverre

Wings of Painted Memory

Din plats i världen.wav

A special Thank You to Brandy Nicole Hammock for letting us use her beautiful poem, 'Oh Savannah, I Long for You'. 
Instrumental, Production by Oussama Arichi
Vocals, Mix, Production by Nadia Selvaggi
Trumpet by Francisco Grillo
Lyrics by Brandy Nicole Hammock: https://medium.com/@telleroftalesinbooks/a-poem-about-savannah-georgia-f4cbc67898ab

O Savannah by Oussama Arichi & Nadia Selvaggi w/ Francisco Grillo

Tyrulius- My Mind

80% discount now applied to Bandcamp discography - https://ceruleanascent.bandcamp.com/
Visuals -
https://youtu.be/mJkc14mdHbo

Movement 6 [Acid #47]

Tango.m4a

Since about 40 years in electronic music.

Wings of Painted Memory

Siegfried Grundmann

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