A song about dealing with OSFED and suffering in silence.

Suffering In Silence

A remastered version of my song, I Want You Back.

I Want You Back (2025 Version)

Salt

©️ 2025 Karianne Gabaldon 

(Verse 1)

Mental illness knows me best
Suffocating from my chest
It adds salt to the wound
Erasing all I’ve been through

(Chorus)

Psychosis is me burning at the stake
This illness has taken all I can take
Laying me down to rest
Taking the air from my chest
Adding insult to injury
Adding insult to injury
Adding insult to injury
Just take the salt away so I can breathe

(Verse 2)

Crying pools of 10 feet deep
I’m so freezing I can’t sleep
I wish the island was small
I wish this boat would drown them all

(Chorus)

Psychosis is me burning at the stake
This illness has taken all I can take
Laying me down to rest
Taking the air from my chest
Adding insult to injury
Adding insult to injury
Adding insult to injury
Just take the salt away so I can breathe

(Bridge)

Get out of my not right head
I’ll dismiss you until you’re dead

(End Chorus)

Psychosis is me burning at the stake
This illness has taken all I can take
Laying me down to rest
Taking the air from my chest
Adding insult to injury
Adding insult to injury
Adding insult to injury
Just take the salt away so I can breathe

Psychosis is me burning at the stake
This illness has taken all I can take
Laying me down to rest
Taking the air from my chest
Adding insult to injury
Adding insult to injury
Adding insult to injury
Just take the salt away so I can breathe

Salt

Oh Em Gee

© 2020-2022 Karianne Gabaldon 

(Verse 1)

I’m watching you turn out the lights,
It’s dark but hey,
I’ll be okay.
The injuries you have left, can’t hide,
But can’t thank you enough,
For making me tough.
And even though you stowed away our love,
I keep that box,
Though you filled it with rocks.

(PreChorus)

My mama said,
I should know better,
She is right.
I’m all set,
I can rest my head,
Tonight.

(Chorus)

Please tell me,
C’mon tell me,
Oh Em Gee,
Why’d you leave me?
My sad coffee,
Is now frowning,
Oh Em Gee,
Why’d you leave me?

(Verse 2)

I slowly shut my closet door,
I cry inside,
I hermit hide.
I can’t help think we went somewhere,
But then again,
We should have stayed friends.
And I just want you to know,
I cannot live,
I cannot exist.

(PreChorus)

My mama said,
I should know better,
She is right.
I’m all set,
I can rest my head,
Tonight.

(Chorus)

Please tell me,
C’mon tell me,
Oh Em Gee,
Why’d you leave me?
My sad coffee,
Is now frowning,
Oh Em Gee,
Why’d you leave me?

Please tell me,
C’mon tell me,
Oh Em Gee,
Why’d you leave me?
My sad coffee,
Is now frowning,
Oh Em Gee,
Why’d you leave 

(Outro)

Somebody turned out the lights,
It’s given me a fright.
But then I wake up…
And I see the sun smile…
And after awhile…
I smile, too.

Oh Em Gee (2025 Version)

The Apple Core of my Eye

©️ 2025 Karianne Gabaldon 

(Verse 1)

When I met you
The intentions were true
We sang Simple Plan like they were going out of style
From our 7th grade woes
To the junior year foes
We never meant to fuel the fire

(PreChorus)

Your excessive haste
Of liberal hate
Caused us to obliterate

(Chorus)

Now you’re the apple core of my eye
You’re rotten, mildewed, dead, and dry
I’ll never trust the underdogs again
You are the apple core of my eye
The friendship tree we grew has died
The seeds we planted
The songs we chanted
I hope you like getting off on sin

(Verse 1)

The rain was moldy
I’m so glad you chose me
A Comedy of Errors, the truth
And I slept on top bunk
Then our friendship had sunk
Now I’m dying just to re-meet you

(PreChorus)

Your excessive haste
Of liberal hate
Caused us to obliterate

(Chorus)

Now you’re the apple core of my eye
You’re rotten, mildewed, dead, and dry
I’ll never trust the underdogs again
You are the apple core of my eye
The friendship tree we grew has died
The seeds we planted
The songs we chanted
I hope you like getting off on sin

(Bridge)

Oh why, oh why
Did you wring me to dry?
Like a rag on a clothesline
Faded time

(Repeat)

(End Chorus)

Now you’re the apple core of my eye
You’re rotten, mildewed, dead, and dry
I’ll never trust the underdogs again
You are the apple core of my eye
The friendship tree we grew has died
The seeds we planted
The songs we chanted

Now you’re the apple core of my eye
You’re rotten, mildewed, dead, and dry
I’ll never trust the underdogs again
You are the apple core of my eye
The friendship tree we grew has died
The seeds we planted
The songs we chanted
I hope you like getting off on sin

(Outro)

I hope you like getting off on sin

The Apple Core of my Eye

Oracle

©️ 2025 Karianne Gabaldon

(Verse 1)

Brown street, in my bed trying to fall fast asleep
But a tender downpour ruins my safe and pleasant evening
Bushels, pecks, and hugs, and barrels and heaps
I sobered up just to relapse on the drug I’m feening 

(PreChorus)

I rewrote my whole life
I planned it out in blueprints, should have been his wife
But then one day he let it all go
The encore of a lifetime but no one showed 

(Chorus)

Someday
I’ll be reminded why I’m made
And I’ll learn to love me
But right now, sulking
My future’s bulky
I can’t see a thing

Oh, Gypsy 
Come and do your thing
And plan a future for me
But right now, sulking
My future’s bulky
I can’t see a thing 

(Verse 2)

Later, I’ve gotten over him and it’s all my past
I’m onto better things, I’ve found the love of my life and I’m grateful 
But I’m still saddened and I hope that it won’t last
It’s been far too damn long, I just need a look into the oracle

(PreChorus)

And I’m sitting here
Wondering why the darkness holds my fears
I’m climbing up a ladder, but the everclear
Has me wasted, I’m falling down
Oh, I hit the fucking ground

(Chorus)

Someday
I’ll be reminded why I’m made
And I’ll learn to love me
But right now, sulking
My future’s bulky
I can’t see a thing

Oh, Gypsy 
Come and do your thing
And plan a future for me
But right now, sulking
My future’s bulky
I can’t see a thing 

(Bridge)

I count my blessings still
Because these days, they’re all I have
And I’m barking at my windowsill
The rain, why does it last?

(End Chorus)

Someday
I’ll be reminded why I’m made
And I’ll learn to love me
But right now, sulking
My future’s bulky
I can’t see a thing

Oh, Gypsy 
Come and do your thing
And plan a future for me
But right now, sulking
My future’s bulky
I can’t see a thing 

Someday
I’ll be reminded why I’m made
And I’ll learn to love me
But right now, sulking
My future’s bulky
I can’t see a thing

Oh, Gypsy 
Come and do your thing
And plan a future for me
But right now, sulking
My future’s bulky
I can’t see a thing

Oracle

The Host

©️ 2025 Karianne Gabaldon 

(Verse 1)

Friends change with the seasons, drifting like the wind blowing through a tree
Never knew it’d be her, never knew she’d be the piece that I’m missing
I arose in springtime of ‘09 then my sun set in ‘24
When I felt your heartbeat claiming mine, there was nothing I wanted more

(PreChorus)

And I’m sorry we departed, I still feel your ghost
You are the parasite and I am the host
I am drenched in your flesh ‘cause it’s what I chose
You are the parasite and I am the host

(Chorus)

Best friends for life
But time flies by
Soon enough, you’re under six feet
Your feelings died
Oh, how I’ve cried
For you, friend, my tears turn into sleet
I guess hosts never really choose defeat

(Verse 2)

Springtime screamed my name that day that I met you inside Algebra II
I cried so hard inside my mind when you declared us best friends, too
Bored to death, we rotted in the ground, our corpses were truly divine
And now I’m dead to your every word that you’ve caged in this heart of mine 

(Hook)

You had my kids from your womb
To them, I’m resting in a tomb
They don’t know the whole story, do they?

(PreChorus)

And I’m sorry we departed, I still feel your ghost
You are the parasite and I am the host
I am drenched in your flesh ‘cause it’s what I chose
You are the parasite and I am the host

(Chorus)

Best friends for life
But time flies by
Soon enough, you’re under six feet
Your feelings died
Oh, how I’ve cried
For you, friend, my tears turn into sleet
I guess hosts never really choose defeat

(Bridge)

A sobbed sonnet
A bad regret
Living in the moment
But it’s time to live and let the past die
Leaving only memories
Knowing you were friendly
My broken heart is mending
In my mind, you are trending

And I’m sorry we departed 
You are the parasite and I’m the host
Oh, I am the host

(End Chorus x2)

The Host

A remastered version of my 2020 track, Postcard. 🩷

Postcard (2026 Version)

Astonishing

©️ 2024 Karianne Gabaldon

(Verse 1)

If I cried the Amazon,
Would you listen to this song
And sing along?
I painted you a sad portrait
You just laughed if off, that’s fine, I guess
I love your jest 

(PreChorus)

I’m really just trying to lose myself in your eyes

(Chorus)

Climbing upon The Great Wall
Hoping you’ll catch my fall
Am I talking too much again?
Can’t help it, baby
I am starving for astonishing, yes I am
Astonishing, yes I am 

(Verse 2)

My potential for your love
Is like passing my final grade
With all A’s
You just love me how I am
I love your selfless silhouette 
I’m already set

(PreChorus)

I’m really just trying to lose myself in your eyes

(Chorus)

Climbing upon The Great Wall
Hoping you’ll catch my fall
Am I talking too much again?
Can’t help it, baby
I am starving for astonishing, yes I am
Astonishing, yes I am 

(Bridge)

Let’s go see the troubadour 
Get lost inside the river’s roar
In a town in Italy
We kiss inside a small boat
As we serenade our hosts
You’d look so astonishing
Astonishing 

(End Chorus)

Climbing upon The Great Wall
Hoping you’ll catch my fall
Am I talking too much again?
Can’t help it, baby
I am starving for astonishing, yes I am
Astonishing, yes I am 

Climbing upon The Great Wall
Hoping you’ll catch my fall
Am I talking too much again?
Can’t help it, baby
I am starving for astonishing, yes I am
Astonishing, yes I am 

(Outro)

Astonishing, I am, I am
Astonishing, yes I am
I am, I am
Starving for astonishing, I am
Astonishing, I am
Astwonishing

Astonishing (2026 Version)

Only In My Dreams

(Verse 1)

As sinful as it is,
I take his whole damn world
My hand entwined with his
Now I believe I am cursed

(PreChorus)

I dream of bitter things
So occult he wears a sheet
Maybe diamond rings
In my head, I’ll take the heat
Horrific happenings
He’ll play it right, make it nice, and wise, and neat

(Chorus)

What if he’s killing me
Only in my dreams
Slaughtering my heart?
And what if I’m ashamed
I love the dismay
Hope we never part
He whispers, “dear”
Into my ear
Then he chops off my head
Leaving me forever dead
What if I’m loving this life
In my head, would you take away the knife?

(Verse 2)

He told me I was fine
While I was fighting for my life
But I enjoyed the pain
You and I aren’t the same

(PreChorus)

I dream of bitter things
So occult he wears a sheet
Maybe diamond rings
In my head, I’ll take the heat
Horrific happenings
He’ll play it right, make it nice, and wise, and neat

(Chorus)

What if he’s killing me
Only in my dreams
Slaughtering my heart?
And what if I’m ashamed
I love the dismay
Hope we never part
He whispers, “dear”
Into my ear
Then he chops off my head
Leaving me forever dead
What if I’m loving this life
In my head, would you take away the knife?

(Bridge)

I dream of undead beings
A lovely cemetery gate
As I’m entering
He’ll make me his own fucking slave 
It’s just make believe
But I’m enjoying the fun, someone help me

(End Chorus)

What if he’s killing me
Only in my dreams
Slaughtering my heart?
And what if I’m ashamed
I love the dismay
Hope we never part
He whispers, “dear”
Into my ear
Then he chops off my head
Leaving me forever dead
What if I’m loving this life
In my head, would you take away the knife?

What if he’s killing me
Only in my dreams
Slaughtering my heart?
And what if I’m ashamed
I love the dismay
Hope we never part
He whispers, “dear”
Into my ear
Then he chops off my head
Leaving me forever dead
What if I’m loving this life
In my head, would you take away the knife?

(Outro)

What if I’m loving this life
In my head, would you take away the knife?

Only In My Dreams (2026 Version)

Poison Oak

©️ 2025 Karianne Gabaldon

(Verse 1)

My sobriety was so shaky that it had caused an earthquake
I asked the heavens above to forgive me, thought I was forsaken
I was twist and turns
I was crash and burn
I screwed me over
Then you came around my door with your Caterpillar bulldozer

(Chorus)

And with your lightning,
You struck down my poison oak
You are the tithing
To my Roanoke
Leaving me with righteousness
And I am soaked
In your bewilder 
You are my pillar

(Verse 2)

I vaped circles around your smoke from your beloved cigarette
You told me we’d be together continuously, I believe it
Your heart longs for me
And this, I do see
You’re my admirer
Valentines like kids in a small classroom, I’m so beguiled

(Chorus)

And with your lightning,
You struck down my poison oak
You are the tithing
To my Roanoke
Leaving me with righteousness
And I am soaked
In your bewilder 
You are my pillar

(Bridge)

I’m a sucker for
You who I adore
You’re my poison oak, I want nothing more
I was an eyesore
To myself evermore
Then you touched me, now I want nothing more

(End Chorus)

And with your lightning,
You struck down my poison oak
You are the tithing
To my Roanoke
Leaving me with righteousness
And I am soaked
In your bewilder 
You are my pillar

And with your lightning,
You struck down my poison oak
Let’s see the sightings
On the troubadour’s long boat
“Bonjour, Je M’appelle Jean Paul”,
He spoke
Us sipping cider
You are my pillar

(Outro)

Leaving me with righteousness 
And I am soaked
In your bewilder 
You are my pillar

Poison Oak

My Criminal Mind

©️ 2025 Karianne Gabaldon

(Verse 1)

When I’m alone
The thoughts in my mind, rampant
I’m fighting the foam
I’m trying not to lose it
My thoughts, they are wild
When I’m stuck inside
My criminal mind
I’m clothed in selfish pride

(Chorus)

And I’m 
Feeling like
My criminal mind
Is no obtuse
I’ve got so much to lose
I’m losing time
My criminal mind
Is so obtuse
I’ve got so much to lose

(Verse 2)

Stuck in a daze
Searching for validation
Can’t get my way
So I scheme patiently
Waiting for signs
That I’m not vaguely
Out of my mind
It hits me like the plague

(Chorus)

And I’m 
Feeling like
My criminal mind
Is no obtuse
I’ve got so much to lose
I’m losing time
My criminal mind
Is so obtuse
I’ve got so much to lose

(Bridge)

You’ve pushed my buttons
I’m not being subtle
But when you push my buttons
I’ll push you in a puddle

(Repeat x3)

(End Chorus)

And I’m 
Feeling like
My criminal mind
Is no obtuse
I’ve got so much to lose
I’m losing time
My criminal mind
Is so obtuse
I’ve got so much to lose

I’m 
Feeling like
My criminal mind
Is no obtuse
I’ve got so much to lose
I’m losing time
My criminal mind
Is so obtuse
I’ve got so much to lose

My Criminal Mind

A Comedy of Errors

©️ 2025 Karianne Gabaldon

(Verse 1)

I stepped on the stage but the spotlight had faded
It became my Comedy of Errors
My award-winning act went the way that I played it
I couldn’t avoid the stares

(Chorus)

I don’t wanna play a part on this stage of agony
I don’t wanna read a playwright that describes me solemnly 
I’ve been pretending to be someone for too damn long
I wanna sing my song
Only sing my song

(Verse 2)

Titania granted my wish upon a star
Suddenly I’m Hyppolyta
But even the queen has restrictions, can’t go far
The prologue was better than the epilogue

Shakespeare is probably rolling in his grave
I counted stars and I thought I couldn’t be saved
But then I put on a fake smile but I lost myself
I needed help

(Chorus)

I don’t wanna play a part on this stage of agony
I don’t wanna read a playwright that describes me solemnly 
I’ve been pretending to be someone for too damn long
I wanna sing my song
Only sing my song

(Bridge)

And then my friends left my side
(Laying me to rest)
Had nowhere else to hide
(It put me to the test)
All because I drowned in lies
(Didn’t know me best)
It’s my song

And then I slid into home
(Stealing every base)
Still I felt so alone
(Losing every race)
I’m so accident prone
(Falling on my face)
It’s my song

(End Chorus)

I don’t wanna play a part on this stage of agony
I don’t wanna read a playwright that describes me solemnly 
I’ve been pretending to be someone for too damn long
I wanna sing my song
Only sing my song

I don’t wanna play a part on this stage of agony
I don’t wanna read a playwright that describes me solemnly 
I’ve been pretending to be someone for too damn long
I wanna sing my song
Only sing my song

A Comedy of Errors

Afraid

©️ 2025 Karianne Gabaldon 

(Verse 1)

I made you my religion
Got caught up in your fan fiction 
I rode the bandwagon until the horse had passed out from exhaustion
Their ignorance is astounding 
So brilliant and arousing
They never even bothered to come up with any questions

(Chorus)

But I was so afraid
To let it all go, let it die
You were my saving grace
Just one hit from you, I’m high
I never really got an explanation 
Never really got an invitation 
To your sunshine days
But still, I was so afraid

(Verse 2)

My hope was hung by a thread
Haunted by every word you said
My corpse deteriorated more and more as you starved me to the bone
The scale said “no”, I was too big I guess
I just wanted to be weightless 
Living with you rent-free in an apartment in my head had me so alone

(Chorus)

But I was so afraid
To let it all go, let it die
You were my saving grace
Just one hit from you, I’m high
I never really got an explanation 
Never really got an invitation 
To your sunshine days
But still, I was so afraid

(Bridge)

Though you’ve fallen out of my favor
It’s still nice to taste the flavor
Of the lies fed to me from a famished ghost named Ed
I was on autopilot with you around
I couldn’t move, breathe, or make a sound 
It’s like all of my organs had shut down and I just lived life dead

(End Chorus)

But I was so afraid
To let it all go, let it die
You were my saving grace
Just one hit from you, I’m high
I never really got an explanation 
Never really got an invitation 
To your sunshine days
But still, I was so afraid

But I was so afraid
To let it all go, let it die
You were my saving grace
Just one hit from you, I’m high
I never really got an explanation 
Never really got an invitation 
To your sunshine days
But still, I was so afraid

Afraid

I usually write my own songs, but my lovely boyfriend wrote this one. I hope you like it!

No Amount

SchizoBunnyPsycho is an American a singer/author/songwriter/producer/guitarist. She won Lyricist of the Year at the Elite Music Awards in June 2025. She wrote her very first song in 2010 and recorded her very first album in 2020. Her first published book was Crazy, Tortured Souls and it was originally published in 2020, then remade into a novel in 2022. She has schizoaffective disorder along with many other unfortunate mental and physical illnesses, but she tries to make do in life. Most of everything she writes is about mental illness and trauma that she went through. Though she’s actually forgiven everyone for hurting her.


Link to Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/artist/71keP2Oxr1o47rZlJeiYY9?si=CUratGfMT_yOtzAXgtiO2g

Link to YouTube: https://youtube.com/channel/UCqiWOJ3h0WnLTQKOcIt83Zg?si=aArSXlFv12P7cODu

SchizoBunnyPsycho

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