Hush! hush!
Listen to the Varied Thrush
The freezing rain has
Pushed them down into the valley
With the rest of us
Flushed
From the comfortably lush
Forest floor
They draw their bows across
Serrated edges of
Musical saws and crush
The frigid, sharply pointed hearts
Of icicles like us

Crush, crush, crush,
Crush, crush, crush,
Crush, crush, crush,
Crush, crush, crush,
Crush, crush, crush,
Crush, crush, crush,
Crush, crush, crush...

Swish! swish!
The Osprey hovers seeking fish
The glassy pond
Displays the menu but won't serve the dish
To birds who wish
To linger when
The air turns cold
Defying pressure
To defer to Cackling Geese
And Western

Gulls, wish, wish,
Wish, wish, wish,
Wish, wish, wish,
Wish, wish, wish,
Wish, wish, wish,
Wish, wish, wish,
Wish, wish, wish...

Who doesn't wish they could
Begin
To leave?
Who doesn't wish they could
Believe
In letting something end?
We have these wishes
But we're hung up
On a superstitious
Focus on the family
We see in Collared Doves
With love much stronger
Than we probably
Should ever hope
For ours to be.

Are we a "we are" today?
Will we be a "we will be" tomorrow?
Were we a "we were" already
Long ago?
We don't know
What price makes sense to pay,
So we settle for indebted sorrow,
Never knowing we could dine and
Dash into that nullifying snow.

Thrash! thrash!
The so-called trash birds
Taking baths
Betray their cuteness
In the recklessness with which
They lash
Their lustrous feathers
Petroleum with flecks of ash
In an unseasonable
Puddle
Glaciating fast

Splash, splash, splash,
Splash, splash, splash,
Splash, splash, freeze,
Splash, splash, splash,
Freeze, splash, splash,
Splash, splash, splash,
Splash, splash, freeze,
Splash, splash, splash...

Hush! hush!
Listen to the Varied Thrush
Hush! hush!
Hush! hush!
Listen to the Varied Thrush,
Hush! hush!
Hush! hush!
Hush! hush!
Hush! hush!

Varied Thrush

2nd place winner of Yishan Wong's 2021 Solarpunk Art Contest! 🎉
medium.com/@yishan/solarpunk-art-contest-2021-winners-d935df357c84

Lyrics:

A city in ruin
But only for the blink of an eye
A pitiful tune
But only for a moment in time
In the long run

We came back to these old streets
When the barriers had all gotten
Buried at sea
And when these buildings all
Turned green
We agreed
It’s better than it used to be

How long has it been
Since we last felt fear of the sun and the wind
And how long will it be till we feel
The Metropolis of Eden we live in is real?

A city in bloom
A city with that adapts to survive
A little more room
For underdogs and misfits to thrive

In the rooftop gardens
The Purple Finches are pecking out the eyes
Of the wild yellow sunflowers
Smiling at vanilla skies
And you and I are finally free
To do the things we like
Be it making art or making out
And stargazing every night, and oh
How sweet would it be
If an Eastern Phoebe nested
On the balcony, and oh
How sweet to begin
Seeing life as a gift,
Not a contest to win

We came back to these old streets
When the barriers had all gotten
Buried at sea
And when these buildings all
Turned green
We agreed
It’s better than it used to be

How long has it been
Since we last felt fear of the sun and the wind
And how long will it be till we feel
The Metropolis of Eden we live in is real?

How long has it been
Since we last felt fear of the sun and the wind
And how long will it be till we feel
The Metropolis of Eden we live in is real?

A city in bloom
(We can do the things we like)
A city in bloom
(We can do the things we like)
A city in bloom
(We can do the things we like)
A city in bloom
credits
releases December 24, 2021
Music & lyrics by Stephan Nance
Arrangement by Stephan Nance

Piano/vocals/synths - Stephan Nance
Percussion - Mathias Kunzli

Mixing & mastering by Thaddeus Moore, Liquid Mixing & Mastering

Recorded in Portland and Los Angeles

Artwork by Leif Holt
Graphic design by Chad Lowe

Metropolis of Eden

Ta-da!
Today
The headache finally goes away
The headache finally goes
Ta-da!
Today
I feel the harmony between
My heart and body and my brain
Everything will be okay

And if you ask what bird I want to be
I'll say a blue jay
If you ask what time I want to leave
I'll change the conversation
If you lean in close and kiss me
I won't mind
I’ll probably respond in kind

Ta-da!
Today
I find the energy to play
I find the energy
Ta-da!
Today
I hear a friendly melody
In every enemy refrain
Everything will be okay
Everything will be okay

Ta-da!
Today
I see the light across the bay
Ta-da!
Today
A sudden symphony
is somewhere out there trumpeting my name
Everything will be okay

And if you ask what bird I want to be
I'll say a blue jay
If you ask what time I want to leave
I'll change the conversation
If you lean in close and kiss me
I won't mind
I’ll probably respond in kind
I’ll probably respond in kind
I’ll probably respond in kind
I’ll probably respond in kind.


credits

released January 7, 2022
Music & lyrics by Stephan Nance
Arrangement by Stephan Nance

Piano/vocals - Stephan Nance
Percussion - Mathias Kunzli
Electric bass - Jeni Magana
Trumpet - Jackie Coleman

Mixing & mastering by Thaddeus Moore, Liquid Mixing & Mastering

Recorded in Portland, Los Angeles, and New York

Artwork by Rebecca DeMoss
Graphic design by Chad Lowe

Blue Jay

Why are there so many songs about rainbows
And what's on the other side?
Rainbows are visions, but only illusions
And rainbows have nothing to hide

So we've been told, and some choose to believe it
I know they're wrong, wait and see

Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection
The lovers, the dreamers, and me

Who said that every wish would be heard and answered
When wished on the morning star?
Somebody thought of that, and someone believed it
Look what it's done so far

What's so amazing that keeps us stargazing
And what do we think we might see?

Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection
The lovers, the dreamers, and me

All of us under its spell
We know that it's probably magic

Have you been half asleep, and have you heard voices?
I've heard them calling my name
Is this the sweet sound that calls the young sailors?
The voice might be one and the same

I've heard it too many times to ignore it
It's something that I'm s'posed to be

Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection
The lovers, the dreamers, and me
La da da di da da ooh
La da da da la di da ooh
credits


Music & lyrics by Paul Williams and Kenneth Ascher
Arrangement by Stephan Nance

Piano/vocals - Stephan Nance
Percussion - Mathias Kunzli
Electric bass - Jeni Magana
Trumpet - Jackie Coleman

Mixing & mastering by Thaddeus Moore, Liquid Mixing & Mastering

Recorded in Portland, Los Angeles, and New York

Graphic design by Chad Lowe

Rainbow Connection

I am living in the eye of the storm
Winded and unwound
Down on the floor
Trying to find the door
Trying to find the door
Trying to find the door

I can’t see for all the dust in the air
Could wave it away
But I wouldn’t dare
Some of it might be you
Some of it might be you
Some of it might be you

Every day and every night
You were the
Soundtrack of my life
And now it’s all a
Silent film
Every cloudy afternoon
Your voice rang out and
Lit the room
But now it’s always
Dark and
Oh so quiet

I don’t even know where to begin
I don’t even know where to begin
Sometimes the days were long
Sometimes the days were long
Sometimes the days were long
But the years were so short

I am living in the shell of a home
Never dreamed I’d feel so
Sad and alone again
Didn’t we have more time?
I thought we had more time.
Couldn’t we have more time?

Every day and every night
You were the
Soundtrack of my life
And now it’s all a
Silent film
Every cloudy afternoon
Your voice rang out and
Lit the room
But now it’s always
Dark and
Oh so quiet

I don’t even know where to begin
I don’t even know where to begin
Trying to find the door
Trying to find the door
Trying to find the door

Silent Film

I am
In trouble with myself again
I am
In trouble trouble trouble trouble
I am
In trouble with myself again
I am
In trouble trouble trouble

But I do believe
There's beauty within
That's why I can't stop
Picking my skin
Digging for a buried treasure
Digging for a way for me to

Say goodbye
To the stranger on the other side
Say hello
To the bliss of a
Disembodied mind

I am
In trouble with myself again
I am
In trouble trouble trouble trouble
I am
In trouble with myself again
I am
In trouble trouble trouble

But I do believe
There's a reason to live
That is why I'm gonna go
To sea in a sieve
Get me soaked and squeeze me through
Till there's nothing left to do but

Say goodbye
To the stranger on the other side
Say hello
To the bliss of a
Disembodied mind

I am
In trouble with myself again
I am
In trouble trouble trouble trouble
I am
In trouble with myself again
I am
In trouble trouble trouble

And I don’t believe
We could ever agree
That’s why I’ll do anything
To keep myself away from me
Maybe when I’m out of sight
I’ll see me in a better light

Eyes shut tight
Better get this right
Every word of the spell
To rip the soul from its shell

Say goodbye
To the stranger on the other side
Say hello
To the bliss of a
Disembodied mind

I am
in trouble with myself again
I am
in trouble trouble trouble trouble
I am
in trouble with myself again
I am
in trouble

Credits:

Music & lyrics by Stephan Nance
Produced by Stephan Nance
Co-produced by Mathias Kunzli
Arrangement by Stephan Nance & Mathias Kunzli
Strings arrangement by Anna Fritz & Stephan Nance
Percussion arrangement by Mathias Kunzli
Thanks to Gabriel Kahane and Nevada Jones

Piano/synths/lead vocals/backing vocals - Stephan Nance
Percussion - Mathias Kunzli
Strings - Bizarre Star Strings (Anna Fritz - cello, Kyleen King - viola, Mirabai Peart - violin)
Bass - Jeni Magana
Backing vocals - Mathias Kunzli

Disembodied Mind

Rough time of year
Does it get to you too
When it rains and it rains
And your shoes never dry

I stay inside with my
Veins full of glue
And I stick to a screen
Till my battery dies

I don’t need to be rich
Only so wealthy as to pay for my food
I don’t need to be huge
Only so big as to ever be noticed

Rough time of year
Do you sit through it too
With that envy so strong
That you can’t even move

I must confess
An embarrassing truth
Almost nothing can hurt me
Like thinking of you

You’ve got a beautiful home
Bestselling novel and effortless style
You enchant the people around you
They swoon when you show even the hint of a smile

Rough time of year
Does it darken the doors
To the lofty salons
Of the luminaries

I wouldn’t know
I wouldn’t know
I only know
Weeks of godawful overcast days
Abstinence from sun on the skin
Drifting deeper and deeper into quarantine
Until my own company begins to wear thin

Envy

Lyrics:

One small sound
One small word 
In tongues all over the world
I said it
I said it 
One small word
I said it
I didn't
I said it
I didn't
Tongues all over

Can't pick them out
Can't press them in 
I'll never hide my scars
Can't pick them out
Can't press them in
I'll never hide my scars 
I'll never hide my scars 

One small sound
One small sight 
One unsheathed knife must glint 
In an alternate timeline's light
One rust-ridden blade juts out 
Of a friendly moonstruck shape
To tear, tear terribly, terribly
Tear, tear terribly 
The delicate crepe of night

Familiarity breeds
Indifference
Familiarity breeds discontent
Familiarity breeds
Indifference
Familiarity breeds discontent

My other time machine
A pungent, putrid brownish-green 
November smile 
Blandishing my two-timing door

One small sound
One small bite
One tomial tooth
One Loggerhead Shrike must skewer 
My invertebrate doppelgänger 
On barbed wire in a parallel universe 

My tongue parallelly bleeds 
One small drop 
In a monthful of blood 
In tongues all over the world
I said it, I didn't
It doesn't matter
What I said or didn't
Admit it
You were never going to get it
I was always gonna get it

Can't pick them out
Can't press them in 
I'll never hide my scars
Can't pick them out
Can't press them in
I'll never hide my
Familiarity breeds
Familiarity breeds

Not only is it thicker
Blood is stickier than water
Maybe that's relevant somehow
Can I explode now?

Credits:
Music & lyrics by Stephan Nance
Produced by Josh Frigo
Co-produced by Stephan Nance
Keyboard, vocals, backing vocals - Stephan Nance
Drums & percussion - Mathias Kunzli
Bass - Jeni Magana
Strings arrangement - Stephan Nance and Michelle Packman
Strings - Bizarre Star Strings:
• Patti King - violin
• Kyleen King - viola
• Anna Fritz -  cello
Guitar, additional backing vocals - Josh Frigo
Vocal coaching - Nevada Jones and Adam Sweeney
Vocals recorded at The Map Room
Vocal session engineer - Adam Sweeney
Mixed by Josh Frigo
Mastered by Alex Dobbert
Artwork - Rebecca DeMoss
Graphic design - Chad Lowe

November

Lyrics:

Sparks fly 
Every time I
Identify a species I have
Hitherto never 
Seen in the field 
Seen in the feather 
Sparkbird 
Destiny drew us together 
Every smile line on my face 
Can be retraced 
Down to the split second 
Down to the split place 

Is it magical thinking 
Or is it magical realism 
Or is it neither here nor there? 
Every time I check my wrist 
It's another brand new freckle 
Past another brand new hair 
I'm growing up, up, up 
Against my will, will 
Will you finally resurrect 
The time I've killed? 
Will you finally resurrect 
The time I've killed, killed, killed? 

Sparks fly 
Every time I visit this park 
I envision the phantom 
Of a giddy little cartoon me 
Jittering on the electrifying
Cusp of discovery 
Before and after the storm 
All I wanted was to be seen
And to see

Some signs of a world still
Turning, turning, turning 
Some signs of a world still
Forming, forming, forming 
Rebirth of a dream still
Burning, burning, burning

Is it magical thinking 
Or is it magical realism 
Or is it neither here nor there? 
Every time I check my wrist 
It's another brand new freckle 
Past another brand new hair 
I'm growing up, up, up 
Against my will, will 
Will you finally resurrect 
The time I've killed? 
Will you finally resurrect 
The time I've killed, killed, killed? 

Sparkbird 
Sparkbird

Credits:

Music and lyrics by Stephan Nance
Produced by Josh Frigo
Co-produced by Stephan Nance
Woodwinds and strings arrangement - Josh Plotner
Keyboard and vocals - Stephan Nance
Guitar, backing vocals - Josh Frigo
Upright bass - Jeni Magana
Percussion - Mathias Kunzli
Alto flute, English horn - Josh Plotner
Violin, viola, cello - Yoed Nir
Lead vocals recorded at The Map Room
Woodwinds recorded at Josh Plotner's studios
Strings recorded at Yoed Nir's Studios
Engineer (lead vocals) - Adam Sweeney
Vocal coaching - Nevada Jones and Adam Sweeney
Mixed by Josh Frigo
Mastered by Alex Dobbert
Artwork - Rebecca DeMoss
Graphic design - Chad Lowe

Sparkbird

Lyrics:

Toeing a trench
In the mulch between
Your patch and mine
I stubbed myself on a treacherous thistle
And I cried out
If it were merely
A matter of a stray thorny bristle
A barrier screen could be laid
And I wouldn't miss you

We could go the distance
Were there more disease resistance
On your part
Nothing lasts forever
When you never
Let it start

Every day I pass this way
I expect to find you
Waiting for me
Beneath the branches
Of the buckeye tree
Waving a palmetto frond
Siphoning orange juice
With a barber pole-ish wand

Red horsechestnut?
Clever disguise
I, of course, guessed, but
Said you'd never naturalize

Species zag as seasons zig
Tough to keep plants in one place
Any chance they get, they diaspore
Or else transmutate
Traipsing looping garden paths
Chasing floodplain Tupelo
Tracing roots to Ponderosa
Tangling with a Strangler fig

Now in an old growth Bald-cypress stand
Knees locked in the strand swamp
Black- and yellow-crowned Night Herons
Abound in colonies
Conferring on me collective memory
My eyelids flutter
Orbits fill with water
Hemlock in my hammock
Limbs thrash, I spit and sputter
Alligator drags me under
Into the solution hole

To protect me from
Elements of fantasy
That thrive in shady reality
To offer respite from
The demands of gardening
To show me
Trees are just the fruit
Of an even bigger tree


Credits:

Produced by Josh Frigo
Co-produced by Stephan Nance
Stephan Nance - keyboard, vocals, backing vocals
Josh Frigo - banjo, guitar, backing vocals
Mathias Kunzli - percussion, drums
Josh Plotner - flute, clarinet, oboe, bassoon, bass clarinet
Yoed Nir- violin, viola, cello
Percussion arrangement by Mathias Kunzli
String arrangement by Yoed Nir
Strings recorded at Yoed Nir's Studios
Woodwinds arrangement by Josh Plotner
Woodwinds recorded at Josh Plotner's Studios
Lead vocals engineered by Adam Sweeney at Opal Recording Studio in Portland, Oregon
Vocal coaching by Nevada Jones and Adam Sweeney
Mixed by Josh Frigo
Mastered by Alex Dobbert
Artwork by Rebecca DeMoss
Graphic design by Chad Lowe

Arboretum

All my antics and my gibberish 
Put a damper on my sentences; 
I'm a [cuddlefish/cuttlefish] 
Trying to cover up my incompetence. 
Maybe your fancy just isn't ticklish— 
Maybe your heart belongs to another fish— 
But on your part that'd be foolish. 
Baby, I think you ought to think through this. 

The sea is big, big, big, 
And it's full of scary things! 
Like great white sharks, 
And colossal squid! 
And I'm worried about you... 
I don't want you to get hurt. 
I don’t want you to get hurt... 
I don’t want you to get hurt. 

If you love something 
(So they say) 
You should set it free. 
But I disagree— 
'Cause I can safely say that 
Catching and releasing 
Isn't what I'd want for me. 

I know I know better than you do 
What is best for you to do— 
Can't you see the logic there? 
It's superlogical. 
My perspective is an outside one, 
And that's really saying something 
'Cause we don't have mirrors 
And since we're under the water, 
There isn't a surface 
For you to see your reflection in... 
Not that you don't look nice! 
(In fact, how wonderful you look 
Is exactly what the problem is....) 

The sea is big, big, big, 
And it's full of scary things! 
Like great white sharks, 
And colossal squid! 
And I'm worried about you... 
I don't want you to get hurt. 
I don’t want you to get hurt... 
I don’t want you to get hurt. 

It guts me every time 
I hear you're frequenting 
Such sketchy dives. 
It's not like it's a crime, 
But what if you get caught by a scuba diver 
Just like Nemo and I can't find you? 

Still I'd never cease my quest for you— 
What else would there be for me to do? 
Sure, there are plenty of fishes in the ocean, 
But not one of them could ever get a hook in my devotion. 
So my love for you supports recent scholarly publications 
Reporting that fish have a greater capacity for memory 
Than was previously believed, 
And I will miss you for the rest of my life.


from A Troubled Piece of Fruit, released 23 July 2012

Stephan Nance, piano/vocals

Stephan Nance — Cuddlefish

Spring, and still 
Leaves have not all fallen from the trees; 

Holding hands and skipping 
Stones across the river; 

Flowers open 
Wider than I've ever seen; 

You can see them too, 
If you hurry— 
You can see them too, 
If you come back to me. 

Spiral bound 
The pages that you wrote to me; 

In between the letters lies 
A secret that I'm meant to see; 

It has been a season 
Since I have seen the sea, 

But we can go there soon, 
If you hurry— 
We can go there soon, 
If you come back to me. 

When I sit and sip my tea, 
You're facing me... 

You: a day, a month, a year ago— 
It's all the same to me. 

On every bus I see 
On every street I see 
In every passing pair of shoes 
I see... 

You. 

You can see me too, 
If you hurry... 
You can see me too, 
If you come back...

credits
from A Troubled Piece of Fruit, released 23 July 2012 

Stephan Nance, piano/vocals
Angelica Sather Hodgetts, cello

Stephan Nance — Spring

Someday, 
Maybe ten, maybe twenty years from now, 
There will be a knock at your door. 
There will be a man standing there with a clipboard. 
And you will sign your name on the dotted line. 
The man will hand over 
A parcel bundled up in wool. 
You will look down to consider it; 
You will look up to say thanks, 
And the man will be gone... 

But a plaintive cry will draw your eyes 
To a baby pelican 
Sitting on your welcome mat, 
And the pelican’s eyes will dilate, 
And the eyes of the trees will dilate, 
And you will be a sea anemone: 
You will contract upon this contact. 

Will you feel small? 
And will you feel scared? 
And will you gasp for air 
And find there’s nothing there 
But a fatal mistake? 
Will you finally weigh what you have given 
Against what 
You take and you take and you take and you take. 

Somehow, 
You will think once again of the package in your hands 
You will begin to tug at the wool. 
It will come off easily in pieces, 
But it will cut right through the prints upon your fingers and 
It will pile up around you in a mountain of gauze 
In a car on a hospital train, 
Where the surgeons lack credentials 
And the scalpels are just saws. 

But a plaintive cry will draw your eyes 
To a baby pelican 
Sitting on your welcome mat, 
And the pelican’s eyes will dilate, 
And the eyes of the trees will dilate, 
And you will be a sea anemone: 
You will contract upon this contact. 

Will you open your arms 
To the birds? 
Will you open your arms 
To the trees? 
Will you repast them 
With your own blood? 
Will you finally give back 
The breath that you take? 
(and you take and you take and you take. 
You take and you take and you take and you take.) 

Somewhere, 
Underneath the many years of stinging fibers, 
You will find your gift. 
Will you ever understand what it means?

credits
from A Troubled Piece of Fruit, released 23 July 2012 

Stephan Nance, piano/vocals
Merlin Showalter, drums 
Tim McLaughlin, bass/guitar 
Angelica Sather Hodgetts, cello

Stephan Nance — Paid By Weight

You tell me that the boat is moving forward— 
Whatever that means when there is no land in sight. 
I’d always pegged you as a shorebird— 
But in light of certain facts, 
I’m inclined to take it back. 

Don’t underestimate me; 
This field of research is my specialty, my specialty! 
I will crack this hierarchy 
If it is the death of me, 
The death of me! 
The death of me… 

You tell me we are sailing on a one-way sea— 
I nod my head and hold my tongue. 
(You are an idiot!) 
You gave me a bum steer, crowing of your lofty views; 
I might have known you were 
A rooster on a booster seat! 

Don’t underestimate me! 
(Clearly there’s no danger of my underestimating you!) 
I will commandeer this vessel 
If it is the death of you, 
The death of you! 

—Must you respond so saltily? 
My faculties… 
Have long been… 
Bursting at the seams… 
Brimming as they are… 
With onomies, 
And ologies, 
And 
Memories! 
Memories! 
Memories! 

Don’t esterundimate me! 
I will hack this crierarchy! 
—Cut me, please—a little slack, I mean— 
Mental tacking’s never been my specialty. 
My knack is for a marked lack of strategy. 
But spin around and take another whack at me 
Look back at me — and see! 
I will stack up properly! 
If it is the death of me, 
The death of me, 
The death of me, 
The death of me!

credits
from A Troubled Piece of Fruit, released 23 July 2012 

Stephan Nance, piano/vocals
Angelica Sather Hodgetts, cello

Stephan Nance — One-Way Sea

[...] 

breaking through the ice, I 
scuttle down the riverbank till I 
espy the arboretum 
in your house… 
in your home… 

and covered in mud, I 
crawl into a carapace, 
and down the hallway 
you, the coniferous buoy 
bobbing on alpha waves, 
inspire a siren song, 
compose a nodding poem 
that will never see the light of day 
that will never see the light 

(but I) 
read in a dream 
Japanese garden 
head on the shoulder 
Japanese maple 
read in a dream 
Japanese garden 
head on the shoulder 
Japanese maple 
read in a dream… 
read in a dream… 

crossing crooked bridges, 
safe to knit you any garment now, but I 
cast off my crafty armaments, I 
cast you aside and I 
scoot away 

but didn’t we ditch those demons? 
are we not free to freeze and thaw as we please? 
to perch on branches 
whittled into benches 
built for human 
shivering 
un cœur en hiver 
un cœur qui ne verra jamais la lumière 

(mais je) 
lis dans un rêve 
jardin japonais 
tête sur épaule 
érable du Japon je 
lis dans un rêve 
jardin japonais 
tête sur épaule 
érable du Japon je 
lis dans un rêve… 
lis dans un rêve… 

everything will be 
simple someday soon 
everything will be 
simple, oh so simple 
everything will be 
simple someday soon… 

Простите мне, что я решился к вам писать. Перо в руке— 
вырезано имя на стволе. 
Меня кожа покраснела на свекольном красителе 
Вы меня поймали с поличным, читающего во сне; 
Ирландца, ходящего в шотландке, я люблю! 
Неразумно, но безмерно— я люблю! 
Относительно дополнительной сосновой шишки— 
Я не беру в голову, не беру в голову. 
Собственно я вырою уютную яму ему. 
Очевидно, язык мой — враг мой. 
А языка чужого я не опасаюсь; 
не боюсь укрепиться в густолиственном лесу! 
Тучи собираются над мной, а я пережду грозу— 
и как только вы дадите оценку 
я дам вам компенсацию, 
и секретно, в карман пальто, окаменелую незабудку... 

[...] 

I don’t want to be forgotten 
I don’t want to be forgotten 
I don’t want to be forgotten 
anymore 
anymore 

denuding adamant layers 
I peel past a period of interregnum and 
inherit the gilt cardboard crown from 
the downy-crested phoenix— 
my predecessor in this queue of 
panels in triptychs 
painted and pruned. 

the kingdom’s a sham; 
Hamlet without the Prince— 
and though a tree you may well be, 
I am not convinced. 

copper head on hickory shoulder, 
curled under covers, 
a fetal web of words… 

read in a dream 
Japanese garden 
copper head on hickory shoulder 
breaking through the ice— 
un cœur en hiver…

Stephan Nance — Japanese Garden / Jardin japonais / Yaponskii sad

Land in my mind 
Crawling through the sound 
I found it 
Now I recognize it 
Everywhere 
Everywhere it's aground

Swimming up a concrete river 
Paddling through pine and pavement 
I melted 
Blent in and then 
Recemented

Inside an unprotected 
Hostel suite 
Astride a bicycle 
Defrosting wheat 
Atop a tower with an 
Unrevolving view 
Of illuminated sails

Grey and green 
Grey and green 
The brightest blue could 
Never come between 
Grey and green and 
Amber

Rowing toward a lowered drawbridge 
Clambering onto the Seawall 
Confecting cloud-covered cinnamon rolls 
Wowed by crowds of 
Glaucous-winged Gulls

See? 
No sea. 
Look at the harlequins! 
—I wish you'd said to me. 
Over a decade I discerned 
A path 
My passport went defunct 
Now that junket's out of reach

Grey and green 
Grey and green 
The reddest flags 
Forever come between 
Grey and green and 
Amber

Everybody's body sways 
In unfamiliar funny ways 
Traveling on rainbow 
Wheels of color down below 
The crows pecking suet-surfaced streets 
The subway sounds resounding beats 
Beckoning me to retreat 
On the heels of mighty feet!

But where there's a will 
There's a way 
And I will 
Every day 
Until I dry 
Every day until I dry—

Wait 
Wait 
Don't tell me 
Blare the Heritage Horns 
But I won't leave

I haven't heard firstear 
The 9 o'clock gun 
Or the steam chimes

I've yet to feel firstfoot 
The boom of the Sooty Grouse 
In the mountain woods

I have more notes to take 
On the colors of the 
Land in my mind

I have a wish 
To blow through the mist 
Of the dandelion fountain

I have a truth 
To seek in the xeriscape 
Of the hill on the hill

I have 
a past, a present, and a future 
In this city

Maybe no more than moments 
But there's still a possibility.

Stephan Nance - vocals, piano
Jon Caponetto - trombone
Amy Kappeler - flute
Tim McLaughlin - trumpet
Nehemiah Nance - trumpet
Additional vocals - Adam Caswell, Amy Kappeler, Lyle Nance, Rebecca Waterman
Arrangement - Adam Caswell & Stephan Nance

Grey & Green

I thought I had been shot— 
Been shot a thousand times— 
It's not a shocking way to die 
In the fields this side of 
The enemy lines.

But I've fired my fair share of guns, 
And I know full well that bullets 
Don't just fall down from the sky— 
So I opened up my eyes.

I saw a flash of light— 
I saw it through the black—whoa! 
I saw the flooded track— 
I felt the hail upon my back—oh, 
I saw the start of the foggy maze— 
I couldn't see for several days— 
But then a sunbreak finally 
Burned away the haze.

(You know I'd kiss you if I could—ah, 
But my lips are made of wood, 
And it wouldn't do to splinter you 
In an unfamiliar neighborhood.)

I dodged a ball of flames 
Fueled by the dust the sun'd kicked up 
A stone's throw from the tonsil crypt 
I eschewed the beaten path 
On a SUP.

Tight-lipped and planing through 
The murky millrace surface— 
These flavescent leaves, 
Crispy teardrops shed from crying trees— 
Murmurations— 
"'Tis autumn?" 
"No, only fallout," 
Sighed beside 
A chemical breeze.

Oh, stratocumulus 
Oh, circumbendibus 
I saw and ceased to push 
I'd seen and heard too much 
My oar became a crutch 
I sculled into a reef 
It sawed the board in half 
I saw my former single fin 
I soldered lead and tin 
I sauntered out 
I saw interred my kith and kin

(You know I'd hold this post a while 
If I could only learn to smile 
But by the time I've earned the privilege 
Only grimaces will be in style.)

Surf Scoter on the pond 
Coyote on the fescue

Siroccos on the flesh 
Globe lightning to the rescue

An earthly comet rolling by 
A stoic guide toward a new clear era 
No shadows on the sterile mind 
No leks distract the prairie-chickens from their terror

I found a brand new clearing 
Next to the old new clearing 
A welcome change 
From the adjacent older new old clearing 
I didn't feel at peace but 
I didn't feel at war— 
A welcome change.

(You know, I went to your old home 
You know, the site of your new grave 
You know, I'd pay my last respects 
But the respects I have I'd better save.)

Stephan Nance - vocals, piano, synth
Milo Fultz - bass
Tim McLaughlin - trumpet
Merlin Showalter - drums, percussion
Arrangement - Adam Caswell, Milo Fultz, Stephan Nance, Merlin Showalter

Lead & Tin

Oh 
What an 
Unfortunately 
Unsurprising turn of events... 
Oh 
What a 
Conundrum it presents.

Swing with a white-knuckled grip and 
Cling to the pieces of ship— 
Or start in the water and 
End in the water? 
The swells, 
After all, 
Intercept 
Just the tip.

Oh 
What (on earth) can I do 
I want help you (on sea) 
I want to help you unsee 
I want to help 
But if I help you 
I can't help me 
And if I go unhelped 
What help can I be?

But what if everything is okay? 
What if everything is 
Easy for once? 
Maybe everything can be 
Easy for once. 
Maybe everything can just 
Be okay. 
Yay. 
Maybe that isn't a psychopomp 
Maybe that's our lifer Hoopoe. 
Maybe that little Grim Reaper 
Will grow up to be a lighthouse keeper.

Hope. 
Hope. 
Hope.

Hope. 
Hope. 
Hope.

I hit the deck 
A cannonball 
From a diving board 
On the crow's nest. 
Best leave the stunts 
To the unprofessionals. 
Leave the stunts 
To the unprofessionals.

The boat's 
A hoax 
A fantasy of control 
A joke. 
See it for what it is 
Now that it's broke. 
Now we avail ourselves of its 
Splinters and rope 
To impale ourselves 
And hang ourselves. 
Hope is what kept us from 
Learning to float.

Float. 
Float. 
Float.

Float. 
Float. 
Float.

But go ahead. 
Offer me another free cruise on a shipwreck. 
How could I refuse? 
Why can't I refuse?

While there is life, there is hope—so 
Why, for the life of me, can't I just float?

Hope. 
Hope. 
Hope.

Hope. 
Hope. 
As if the water I fear 
Is not the water I bathe in.

Stephan Nance - vocals, piano, synth
Adam Caswell - programming
Milo Fultz - upright bass
Tim McLaughlin - guitar
Shigeki Okubo - drums
Arrangement - everyone

Hope Or Float

No one can see
My bravery;
I stomp on humdrum ground,
I navigate mundane terrain.
But all the same,
An ancient flame
Ignites a fervency that
Surges into every vein.

Dash, jump, climb, crawl!
Gotta get out, gotta get out—
Dart, dive, fly, tumble!
Gotta get out, gotta get out
Gotta get you out, out, out!

In a previous life
I surely
Swept you off your feet
And carried you away
From the choking ash
And scorching heat,
To begin anew
Beyond the ruins of Pompeii
And to live
To see another sunny day.

On every list
Of things to do,
An unchecked box reminds me
That the task of saving you
Remains undone
And unbegun
And unfulfillable 
Until the day we need to run
Until the day we need to run
We need to run—

Dash, jump, climb, crawl!
Gotta get out, gotta get out—
Dart, dive, fly, tumble!
Gotta get out, gotta get out
Gotta get you out, out, out!

In a previous life
I surely
Swept you off your feet
And carried you away
From the choking ash
And scorching heat,
To begin anew
Beyond the ruins of Pompeii
And to live
To see another sunny day.

From form to form,
From place to place,
From birth to birth,
From death to death,
From earth to outer space—
From Plague and flood,
From fire and blight,
From each catastrophe
That threatens to eclipse your light—

Dash, jump, climb, crawl!
Gotta get out, gotta get out—
Dart, dive, fly, tumble!
Gotta get out, gotta get out
Gotta get you out, out, out!

To begin anew
Beyond the ruins of Pompeii
And to live
To see another sunny day.

Stephan Nance - vocals, piano, synth
Simeon Brown - violin
Maddi Krafve - alto & tenor saxophones
Tim McLaughlin - trumpet
Lizzy Donovan - cello
Arrangement - Adam Caswell & Stephan Nance

Pompeii

Lupine caught
my post-consumer fall
Lupine held me there beneath
a post-consumer bird call
Warbling the echoes of
The decadent
The digital

And I know
When I go
Where the coils glow
It isn't for the greater good
And I know
When I go
Where the coils glow
That I grow
But it isn't for the greater good

Lupine, popping open,
hurled seeds
Lured an unsuspecting Oregon Junco
To the bed of reeds
And through binoculars
The birder saw the SOS

And I know
When I go
Where the coils glow
It isn't for the greater good
And I know
When I go
Where the coils glow
That I grow
But it isn't for the greater good

Broken letter
Broken clock
Broken box of
Broken
Sidewalk chalk
Sidewalk chalk

Kanji and Cyrillic talk
Heart-to-heart in nearby sidewalk
chalk nearby side
walk chalk
nearby side walk
chalk nearby side
walk chalk

Lupine sought dispersal from the slope
Me, I only sought dismissal from
This missile-peppered envelope.

♡

yourmom