and it's just so good

stream on spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/0bawM83DKPc6x34fbSouE7?si=c9817a13a32349a5

too many issues i cant solve emmm
thanks 4 everything, really proud of this song i hope yall like it lol

lyrics:
you say its for the best,
but i feel way too stressed.
i swear that im losing sight
of what i do best
i wanna be right
yeah well im obssessed
its bad that i lie...
but theres stuff i cant confess

ive been down and so hopeless
im losing my focus
i hope i can show this
my life is so bogus
my career is tanking
everythings taking
a dangerous route

i, want, you to tell me
cus ur the last damn person that im needing to please
and your eyes say no but i can see all your greed
im an asshole addict with tendencies to grieve
i hate the person im becoming
i swear its natural but i feel like its evil
ive been losing focus in the sight of my dreams
i wanna turn back time but i dont think i can leave

take another step forward, i wish that i could step more
i try to turn around to face the problems but i get bored
they tell me im a monster in disguise without a big roar
seeing all my friends going up wish i could get more

and everyone around wants me to change myself
ive been stuck up in the clouds where i cannot find help
ive been dragged inside the mud and ive been down in hell
and really i have not been feeling all too well

i, want, you to tell me
cus ur the last damn person that im needing to please
and your eyes say no but i can see all your greed
im an asshole addict with tendencies to grieve
i hate the person im becoming
i swear its natural but i feel like its evil
ive been losing focus at the sight of my dreams
i wanna turn back time but i dont think i can leave

i, want, you to tell me
cus ur the last damn person that im needing to please
i, want, you to tell me
cus ur the last damn person that im needing to please

issues prod siemspark & ayoley

step too far now i'm falling apart
took it way too fast took a shot thru my heart
my past still haunting me day by day
its taunting me
look at the pictures its written in scriptures
i broke my back i cant handle the pressure
took a shot thru my head this is not what i pictured
insult to injury make me get sicker

ways i try to cope hold on to what i know
im so sick and im broke been down this road too many times
burn the photographs this pain is everlasting
rip my heart in half so sad im sick of masking

its karma like a stab in the back
get it while you got it cause i aint coming back
i dont need your approval on anything
im going insane think i might just crack

i cant love another soul break my mind heart gone cold
i cant love another soul lost my friends where will i go

ways to cope (p. thislandis & emorave)

might add lyrics here later probably not love u

bestfriends (hallow + ryo) unfinished demo ~ feb/march 2021

Chapter 9: Evil Monster

beat is a remake i made of glue70 casin



i know, about it, i read all, about it
i said that, i love you, you're switching, the topic
no way, i woke up in the day, and everyday i do the same thing
i guess that i can't have it my way
and will you be there when the time fades

i'm ok, we'll be fine, i got you, on my mind
there's no way, you'll be mine, you made me forget my lines
if we say the truth i know that you love to hate me
i guessed it from the start, i guess i wasn't mistaken, like

i know, about it, i read all, about it
i said that, i love you, you're switching, the topic
no way, i woke up in the day, and everyday i do the same thing
i guess that i can't have it my way
and will you be there when the time fades

i'm ok, we'll be fine, i got you, on my mind
there's no way, you'll be mine, you made me forget my lines
if we say the truth i know that you love to hate me
i guessed it from the start, i guess i wasn't mistaken
and if we're being honest i know you had to break in
and will you know my name when you end up getting famous

same thing

all platforms - https://idm.fm/greed
prod, mix + master @xona

lyrics
it takes a while to meet your needs
and i cant say that i regret having this greed
but it’s getting too dangerous out there
so don’t open your mouth, just feel the air

as it blows, away
i don’t care
if you know a way
can we share?
it’ll go away
be aware

(chorus)
you don’t know what comes out
and i can tell you that i’ll be right there
not knowing what comes out
and i don’t know if we’ll be safe or not, i won’t protect you cuz i don’t care, oh
i know it’s different when your not paired
but i’m not giving second chances baby, say it’s not fair
play dead, im approaching
i know you need me right now, im opposing

“i can see the light, i cant even type
when i stop and stare up at your eyes it makes me wanna die
know my friends all got me
but i don’t wanna copy
looks like it’s done for baby, i know you cant even stop me”

(chorus)

all platforms

greed, xona

dream log sooner than soon after way too long see u on the other side <3

prod @threedimensionsapart
guitar by daniel geraghty
engineered by slappy 

//lyrics
[hook]
remember they aint see the vision now they flocking
i wake up at 2am im feeling nauseous
i remember when they told me i should stop this
and now i passed them so they calling me obnoxious
please stop tryna tell me that i need another option
he talk shit on twitter when i see you we gon pop shit
now they like damn he switching up he think he hot shit
its not my fault youre fucking broke and you aint got shit
she throw her phone at the wall
she praying to god that i call
but god dont hear her at all 
i guess she ran all out of friends she shop alone at the mall 
i cut her off and now shes pissed shes like "how you have the gall?"
its not my job to save no one
no im not nobodies savior
its 2am im skipping stones
and now you're blowing my pager
im too nauseous in the back but ill still call you later
im just tryna feed my fam before im meeting my maker

[verse]
wake up from another day dream 
its a new day but im still doing the same thing 
but when it all comes crashing down dont fucking blame me 
so many people werent around till as of lately
lately i been fucked up
i hope they dont notice
she been talking bout me 
i just try to focus
i cant trust a damn soul
everybody bogus
i cant even trip on it cause i know that im chosen
i chose this, i 

[hook]
remember they aint see the vision now they flocking
i wake up at 2am im feeling nauseous
i remember when they told me i should stop this
and now i passed them so they calling me obnoxious
please stop tryna tell me that i need another option
he talk shit on twitter when i see you we gon pop shit
now they like damn he switching up he think he hot shit
its not my fault youre fucking broke and you aint got shit
she throw her phone at the wall
she praying to god that i call
but god dont hear her at all 
i guess she ran all out of friends she shop alone at the mall 
i cut her off and now shes pissed shes like "how you have the gall?"
its not my job to save no one
no im not nobodies savior
its 2am im skipping stones
and now you're blowing my pager
im too nauseous in the back but ill still call you later
im just tryna feed my fam before im meeting my maker

nauseous (tda + daniel geraghty)

popst☆r (w/ angelus)

insomnia w/ tropes (hallow)[remix]

new era same old moirai
video here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YctqEqrLJho
on spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/6h7s7QHTBQ1os43UTEI4bY?si=69065b0ba82c476e
@billsburyjoeboi
@ria_chuelo
lyrics//
[hook]
everybody looking at me from the sidelines
everyday i have this feeling that i might die 
everyday i have this feeling that you might lie 
and everyday they make me wonder why do i try
now everybody looking at me for a reason
and everyday i fucking wonder how im breathing
and everyday i fucking wonder why you need him 
and everybody says they care i don't believe them

[verse]
i can't change my past
optimistic lover with a half full glass, but
but i can't go back 
tried my best but i lost my track again 
and i don't need new friends
tried to cut you off but i woke up in your bed again
and all those texts i sent
masochistic loving that i can't forget

im so sick, i wake up, i hate it
i call her up, like no shit, im wasted
she told me "im so sick of everything you're saying"
and i ain't been to church in years but now im praying
that i don't fuck this up 
im in the bathroom of a party and im throwing up
and i just don't want you to think that im a lost cause
lost cause 
lost cause
im so sick and fucking tired of the love songs

sidelines (billsburyjoeboi + ria)

deja vu (whethan + lunamatic + aldn)

stay (hallow)

@prodbyjoshwa

said ur coming back but i won't lie
u dont wna act try to fool me twice
heart trapped in the moment
i see it untapped looking in ur eyes

cuz u dont wna fall
on and off baby
slow
breaking my own heart lately
it's hard for me to breathe im
comparing endlessly

fucked up the memory
know what u said to me
wasting all my time
cant afford to let u see
take all thts mine </3

endlessly (joshwa)

Shame

video here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tb8xCct8NZI
one song 2 end an amazing year with twinnem 
@midwxst
@billsburyjoeboi
mixed by slappy
lyrics
[pre-hook]
im not the same kid that i once was
when you met me
its a lot of offers on the plate right now
and its tempting
i can act like i never saw the texts that 
you sent me
or we could skip to the part when
you're in my room undressing

[hook]
baby just tell me what you wanna do 
we could slide back to the pad 
you can stop playing mad 
and your friend and you come thru
i was never mad in the first place
and im better than your ex on my worst day
ima be in LA on thursday
i said, baby just tell me what you wanna do
i aint never been for none of that he said she said shit
man just come thru
now theres way too much in my cup
and i cant stand up
but i couldnt give one less fuck

[verse: midwst]
a lot of things in front of me this shit's getting tempting
you saw where i was at and now you're seeking redemption
cause all of a sudden you fuck with me, up in my mentions
all this shit don't add up no it don't even make sense
you cut me deep, you left me there to sit and wait
blocked your number, blocked your texts
don't care what you are sending me
hoping that im stuck up in your head and in your memories
so that you can not forget my pain and all my misery

[hook]

come thru

come thru w/ midwxst (billsburyjoeboi)

vent song cover taken by zeke
lyrics//

and its like every other day another regret
im not the one that u should trust with all ur secrets
and when u told me that u love me did u mean it?
or were u lying because its easier than
breathing for u, i care for u
u say u feel the same but u dont talk to me
unimportant, ur ignoring
and i cant walk away, im sleeping wide awake

im itching for comfort, im falling in love
and then i give u my word but its never enough
oh well i guess its my bad
i guess its fuck me and its fuck the feelings i had
im itching for something but i dont think its us

your secret's not safe with me [regret] (ryo)

old tattoos (ryo + will + st jimmy)

https://li.sten.to/lotus
ig: ripavah

welcome to my life
lyrics:
Lotus, I've been getting better let me show ya
Smash an empty bottle to the dome
I've been feeling like I've grown up
Better than ever cause I'm about to blow up

I've been in my feelings lately but I hate that shit
My situation yeah its dire but I played that shit
I've been feeling like I'm crazy on a tightrope
Reminiscing things that I'll achieve my rivals cant though

I'll say fuck her, sell out shows so she knows she's wrong
Make a million off a sound so I made this song
Yeah I know my fans are coming yeah its been so long
Manifest about the future cause I stayed so strong

Lotus, you know it
I've been on a tangent for a year but I ain't ever fucking show it
I just know my fame is close but I think I've been on the wrong path
Happiness and Adderall, the two things we should all have

You ain't shit yeah you a bitch
I'ma make a jump right to the top then i'ma clinch
Shitty ass artists sign to labels then they're gifted
Imagine what would happen if my music got the same thing

Fuck the poppin sound, and fuck to who's around
I'ma make a wave of other artists with my sound
I wont fix my problems if I don't aim for the ceiling
blacked out drunk, that's a shitty fucking feeling

Fuck you to the past, I'm glad it didn't last
I'ma speed to number one or I'll just fucking crash
I'm glad I'm fucking back just for a while I've had a barrier
Sprouted like a lotus I'll just shout out to my haters

Lotus is strong, lotus is fire
Lotus is weak, lotus is crying
I've been drowning lately listen here's a happy ending
Feeling like a boss, and I'm looking like a real king

Red eyes, feel low
So high, so low
Might cry, oh no
Lotus, blossom

I ain't succeed in a minute
Love this life forever bitch you know I'm not quitting
Avah feels on fire bitch you know that I am winning
Take over my life I wasn't happy where I'm headed, oh shit

I've been in my feelings lately but I hate that shit
My situation yeah its dire but I played that shit
I've been feeling like I'm crazy on a tightrope
Reminiscing things that I'll achieve my rivals cant though

I'll say fuck her, sell out shows so she knows she's wrong
Make a million off a sound so I made this song
Yeah I know my fans are coming yeah its been so long
Manifest about the future cause I stayed so strong

avah

lotus

other platforms

lotus (dercept x ayoley)

s/o britney for the inspo
video here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TgXAIcPp4Eo
lyrics:
[pre-hook]
you tell me im toxic, heard it all before
everytime you left, i know you wanted more
you're a special, different kind of insecure
not an antidote, im not a fucking cure
make it natural, i don't force
you at like every damn show on my tour
you on like every damn drug on that floor &
now i'm at every damn one of these stores

[hook]
you say im toxic baby
these toxins take me
they tell me i'll go crazy
please don't mind me saying,
im not toxic baby
i just play pretend
cause we got options lately
we got rules to bend

[verse]
onto the next one, i ain't ever been the type to be an extra
and all these bitches swear to god they the baddest
they hit me up on ig for the address
she wake up at ten to do her makeup 
if you want sum lil boy you better take sum
and i ain't never really had to fucking fake nun
and now we all up on your block tryna shake sum
tragic, i swear its tragic, overdramatic 
magic, they think its magic, she's so ecstatic
there aint no two of me, i swear you're new to me
let's quit the foolery, burn this to new degrees

[pre-hook]
you tell me im toxic, heard it all before
everytime you left, i know you wanted more
you're a special, different kind of insecure
not an antidote, im not a fucking cure
make it natural, i don't force
you at like every damn show on my tour
you on like every damn drug on that floor &
now i'm at every damn one of these stores

[hook]
you say im toxic baby
these toxins take me
they tell me i'll go crazy
please don't mind me saying,
im not toxic baby
i just play pretend
cause we got options lately
we got rules to bend

and it's just so good

sam2.5