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YOUR GRAMMAR SUCKS #99- THE MEGARAP

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The Magikarp Song Lyrics

Totally pathetic, unreliable.
Known throughout the world
for being super weak.
Maybe in ancient times
it was really strong.
That’s what the rumors say,
but they’re probably wrong.
But now it’s so weak,
the weakest in the land.
So weak that it’s sad,
really really sad.
The weak Pokémon,
that’s you, Magikarp.
But though you are the weakest,
still you’ve won my heart.
Oh, weak Pokémon,
my love for you is strong.
Honestly, it’s magical
you’ve survived this long.
All it does is jump and splash,
jump and splash around.
It splashes up whole mountains
and all the way back down.
Why jump? What’s the point
when nobody cares?
It uses Splash in battle.
Nothing happens.
Jumping and splashing,
every single day.
Until Pidgeotto…
carries it away.
The jumping Pokémon,
that’s you, Magikarp.
Although your moves are pointless,
still you’ve won my heart.
Oh, splashing Pokémon,
my love for you is strong.
Honestly, it’s magical
you’ve survived this long.
Wherever you go fishing,
it’s the first you’ll catch.
Even with an Old Rod,
you’ll soon have quite a batch.
Cast off in a river,
or a puddle, or the sea.
Anywhere your hook is,
Magikarp will be.
The slightest current
will carry it away.
Anyplace the river bends…
that's where they all stay.
A nibble on the line…
that's you, Magikarp.
Right back in you go,
because you’ve won my heart.
Thought I caught a bite…
but it’s Magikarp.
I could never eat you…
because you’ve won my heart.
Its Shiny form
sparkles golden in the light.
But don't be deceived.
It's still Magikarp inside.
Evolving into Gyarados
makes it super strong.
Waiting to reach that level
takes way too long.
Did you just buy one
at the store yesterday?
Sorry, there’s no refunds. Please go away.
The pity Pokémon,
that’s you, Magikarp.
Although they think
you’re worthless…
still you’ve won my heart.
The pity Pokémon,
Magikarp, it’s true.
At least your lowly ranking…
means nothing to you.
Beloved Pokémon,
that’s you, Magikarp.
Somehow you’ve turned weakness
into a kind of art.
You’re my Pokémon,
Magikarp, my dream…
Six matching Magikarp,
that’ll be my team.
Beloved Pokémon,
that's you, Magikarp.
Magical and special,
of course you’ve won my heart.
The greatest Pokémon,
Magikarp, it’s true.
And that’s why I’ve written
this love song just for you!

YOUR GRAMMAR SUCKS #99- THE MEGARAP

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