Matt Raichous as Scooby-Doo
Clever Chaos as Garfield
Mixed by Near
Beat: Curtains by Dansonn
Written by EatMoPizza and Matt Raichous
Art by EatMoPizza

Lyrics:

I knew I’d have to deal with some creepy freak again
But I see you’re no ghost; you’re not dead, just deadpan
You act so lifeless in every one of your strips
I’d be more frightened by your creepypastas than your quips

Sleuthin’s top dog ’gainst the top lasagna hog 
Not a proper icon, just a bulbous-eyed con
Memes and merchandise are the only things keeping you known
Clinging to your relevance like a plushie in the window

Should have sent Odie instead to get a fairer bout
Even I’d lose my appetite when selling out to Paramount
You’ve got no appeal with the newer generations
While I’m known across the nation as CN’s spooky sensation


This ain’t a hydrant, so quit taking the piss
You’re not solving mysteries, you’re playing coppers with some kids
So don’t drag this onto my street, I’ve got the shots to end ya
Though I’d say you dodged a bullet getting dropped off at Velma

Listen, I’ve lead a lengthy legacy of lethargy
but even speeding on all fours you won’t get a leg up on me
When you tend to flee, screaming at each feeble phony freak
Chop you into five puppies, you’re running like Air Buddies
 
While I’ve been livin’ large since I hit papers the seventies
Get more laughs in my sleep than you running on ABC
Clueless mutt, ya really think you’re ranking up there with the greats?
Looks like the weak’s about to start again; I hate this Mun-Dane


With each new iteration, you fail to appeal
This fat cat stacks cash like our monsters are real
With your creepy CG incomplete, we’re learning it’s true
That every single new creator is just as lazy as you


Like Nicky Flowers in a battle, ‘cause I’m ranking at the highest
While you’re stuck pushing up daisies, disappear like Garfield Minus
‘Cause this tabby’s stuck in tabloids, I’m a prime time pup
Sitting in your recliner’s the only time you get a leg up

On the air for half a century, catching criminals with ease
Grabbing greedy grimalkins with speed Garfield’s never seen
While the only thing this glutton’s ever caught’s a couple Z’s
But tonight you’ll get some exercise running away from me


HB barely bears a name this day and age
Talking down about my shows like your reboot’s all the rage?
I’ll bash your straight to DVDs straight back to VHS
You hold onto relevance ‘bout as well as you do your girlfriends


It’s been decades since a single viewer called you groovy
Warner finds you so taxing that they’d write off a finished movie
But didja think that flick would top the box office at Christmas?
Please, a single Sunday paper would have been a bigger hit

Even spiders bother me less than to hear you spitting
This “timeless” classic’s dated, left wondering “Who’s S-s-scared?”
But I can answer what they’ve been asking since the beginning
“Scooby Doo, Where Are You?” To be true, no one cares.

Scooby-Doo vs Garfield - Verses Mode (ft. Matt Raichous and Clever Chaos)

KingSpirals as Hat Kid
Seerofwords as Beatrix Lebeau
Mixed by Special Inquisitor Rayyan
Beat: Cookies by Domboi Beats
Writing and Art by EatMoPizza

Lyrics:

Hat Kid:

Let’s take it from the top, Hat Kid’s dropping on the scene
No Peace and Tranquility, show you why I’m rated T for teen
Downed the Mafia, Nyakuza, so I’m sure to reduce a
Bumpkin in a bootleg Poltergust to a crime scene, gruesome!

(Pause) ...Boop!

What the peck is this connection? We both landed on a planet,
Unfamiliar, explored a bit, but the difference, I got stranded
Found my fuel to make it home, you left for one built like a dome
Ironic, desert your friend for a desert, now it’s where you roam!

I made tons on my adventure, you're all alone like Vanessa
But her place looks less decrepit, maybe clean up your mess, huh?
After all you fill the bank by cleaning up your blobs’ droppings
But you can’t get the gold by stinking up the bars you’re dropping

Beatrix:

Listen here, Kiddo, I’m not here to clean up that mess
I’m a grownup, I work for hours to earn some fat checks
Strapped with a vacpack, sure, for me combat’s not the norm
But grip your umbrella tight, because I’m bringing a storm!

10 of 10 on Steam, going from PC to the big screen
Got tabbies, tangles, hunters, I can catch a pest like honey
I’m the Stardew of the Stars, you just took nostalgia, and ran with it
Got no place stepping to me, you signed yourself up for banishment

Came from Monomi Park, I’m up from morning to dark
On your journey, made some stories, but no meaningful arcs
The difference of my treks to your shipwrecks isn’t hard to see
So call this the second time you’re overshadowed by Odyssey

Hat Kid: 

No surprise this worker Bea would drone on her whole verse
Between Snatcher, the Directors, and Empress, I’ve felt worse
Mustache Girl’s lip service was better, you are ALL bad lines
I’m heating flows like Mafia Town, toxic like Rad Slimes

Say you’re on that grind, but your efforts ain’t beyond doubt
I’m swimming in green, you fall in the sea, you get knocked out
Bea, all your time’s spent for a corporation’s benefit 
A cog to Seven-Zee, I ate up this Gear for Breakfast!

Beatrix:

Me and Casey found what we need, you left Mustache Girl on her back
Bit off more than you could chew, but I can make a splash
Sure, both our games found players, and our names are staying known,
But you can’t take pride in your fans when they go mod out your own

Use that camera badge, get the picture, got no chance, Kid
Like you’re tripping on the SS Literally Can’t Spit
Any plort makes better material than the yarn you’ve spun
You were never a player in this game, Le-Bow is number one!

A Hat in Time vs Slime Rancher - Verses Mode (ft. KingSpirals and Seerofwords)

An all-out brawl between the dually-fictional fire-breathing behemoths, Reptar, the Rugrats’ favorite dinosaur, and Strong Bad’s most iconic creation, Trogdor the Burninator! Who’ll torch the track in the very first installment of Nicktoon Rap Battles?

Matt Raichous as Reptar
MetaStarVA as Trogdor
‬ 
Written by EatMoPizza, Writing Help from MetaStarVA

Mixed by Special Inquisitor Rayyan
‪
Beat Produced by Allrounda Beats
   • "Steelhammer" ~ (DL Free) Hard Rap Be...  

 Reptar:
Puff the Magic Dragon thinks he can Brawl with All-Stars?
I’ll knock out his teeth with just a taste of Reptar Bars
Since I stepped into the city I was sweeping the nation
While babies’ minds are more developed than Strong Bad’s imagination

Ugly-ass chicken scratch, no wonder chicks aren’t drawn to this
My jaws are more than strong enough to leave misfits in eight bits 
Send a scrap scribble scrambling, scorching when I fire bombs
Slamming my own copy right, like when I took down Viacom

 Trogdor:
Once again awoken by some failed attempts to harm me
But instead of a knight, it’s some gangrenous Barney?
Your entire brand got buried ‘cause you couldn’t make a cent
But the real Curse of Reptar was ending up a Questless Peasant

Civilians weren’t fleeing, Rather, Dashing to new TV
Can’t fix being outdone by a sponge switching to 3D
Even today, off the net, they still can’t get enough of me
With one beefy arm I’ll bloody this sucker, shoutouts to Buffy 

 Reptar:
Chaps keep on milking this snake, I’ve always been turning green
So convinced that you’re metal, while they made me a machine!
Makers go silent for months, leave fans hungry as dinosaurs
But when they’re selling out for merch, their money’s on Trogdor
I crunch cars, Burninator’s less than BMW
You tower over knights, but just one’s all it takes to topple you
I’m stomping you, your time is through, we’re going back to ‘08
Joke’s overused, you know it’s true, wings can’t carry your weight
Cash-cow kaiju known by no one, Biscuit-Dough-Hands-Man
Homestar packs a stronger punch, bitch can’t throw hands, damn!
Even Poopsmith had cleaner delivery 
There Might Be Giants, but no other monster could measure to me

 Trogdor:
Can’t choose between good or bad, my game’s got more resolution
But no matter the story, they still want your execution
On the hunt for love, but Coach Z’s luckier with ladies
Go n’ call up all your fans, all that you’d get is a wave o’ babies!

A beefy fist wipes out the dinos who can’t dish bars meatier
Can’t expect you to keep up when Robosnail is speedier
I burninate the countrysides, burninate the peasants
Reptar’s on Thin Ice, watch where you go stomping in my presence
Your frosty opera and crap raps can’t match up my heavy metal theme
Shred like guitar when riffing and strike your middle down like Limozeen
Leave a mascot massacred when Geico's Gecko’s in two
(Roars) Oh Reptar, nobody pine for you.

Reptar Vs Trogdor (ft. MattRaichous and MetaStarVA) - Nicktoon Rap Battle #1

Welcome to the first Verses Mode Rap Battle of 2025! Here we have two ogres who were wrongfully treated as monsters, forced into solitude for a long time before an unexpected journey helped them find companionship.  The Legendary Ogre of Kitakami, Ogerpon from Pokémon Scarlet and Violet faces off with Dreamwork's world-famous Shrek!

A video for this battle is hopefully coming to The Rap Battle Pizzeria YouTube Channel in the near future.

Beat: Broken Sword by Tapich Beats
https://youtu.be/_Khz6cHDtO4?si=sjKOh-YNfBHi_2gc 

The Monarchy as Shrek
TAFox as Ogerpon
Mixed by Serena

LYRICS:

     Shrek:
Once upon a time, there was a peachy little runt
Went n’ avenged her only friend against some ruffian bunch
Now she’s on her way to prove that she’s the best ogre in rapping…
…Heh, like that’s ever gonna happen! (What a load of-)

It’s the shooting star from Dreamworks’ timeless fantasy classic
Versing a game with even less style than its protagonist
Looking at Annoying Orange, villagers were fearing this?
I’ll roast this kid’s pet as I spit like I roast pests on a spit

I craft candles that got heat more than yer measly Hearthflame
I’d best leave wee fruits to Donkey, let ‘im serve ye in a parfait!
Don’t hold out for a hero, potions can’t keep you in the game
Since it’s what you’re best at, this is the part where you run away.

     Ogerpon:
I heard legends of an Ogre, a hero standing tall and strong
But looking at your OG book, seems you both got the story wrong
From the way they praise you, I’d expected more than what you wrote
But you didn’t even take the crown when King Harold croaked

Somebody once told me your movies were kinda boring
Execs beg but decades passed since you had audiences roaring
Whole studio’s one more of Katzenberg’s awful decisions
Funny you took down Farquaad’s knights, but still fell second to the Minions

Played by Mike Myers, but I make a better masked slasher
You’re more like the second time that he played a Fat Bastard
Putting The Three six feet deep assured my Ivy Cudgel’s impact
But with this meme already beat to death, there’s no bringing him back

     Shrek:
I’m still makin’ bank, check my stacks, Ogres have layers!
You’ve proved Game Freak’s taste for green just serves to anger your players
But I’d pay to see your face when you learned those you caused to die
Were innocent, and in the end, you couldn’t finish off their mastermind!

Braved the dragon, reached the highest room of the tallest tower
Your game dragged on, a surefire way of wasting countless hours
I went from hermit to husband, earned everything I aspired to
All you did was ghost the only person who admired you

Whether a cave or a box, you’re stayin’ alone for centuries
Just made to squeeze what worth remains outta your dying series
We all know that there’s no place for you in Game Freak’s future chapters
Reunite you with your partner, there’s your happily ever after!

     Ogerpon:
Taking after your sidekick, constant talking out your ass
Have you crying when your onion layers get mowed down by Grass
Dreamworks made a dirty kid’s flick to take the piss outta Disney
Only to Embody every Aspect of them, yet still fall beneath!

Memories of love and adventure fill my heart to fuel my fight
You need a sequel to a spinoff all just to regain your limelight
Disappoint your fans and wife, no Game Freak rush job could compare
Even your dad only wanted you when you were served medium rare

From mocking deformities to dropping slurs up on Broadway
Your inner beauty message had less depth than Donkey’s parfait
Left behind my lonesome life, joined champions, you’ve no importance
So I’m leaving Shrek in silence like it was Farley’s performance!

EatMoPizza

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