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You ever have one of those days where gravity just isn't your friend? This one's for you.
"Woe To The Wobbly Waitress" is a short, chaotic blast of early 90s-inspired garage punk. We're talkin' raw, lo-fi, and DIY, with a frantic tempo, buzzsaw guitars, and shouted female vocals. It’s the story of a heroic deed gone horribly, painfully, and hilariously wrong.
Crank it up, smash a plate, and scream along.

Lyrics:

[Intro] 
ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR!
[Verse 1] 
Slingin' hash in this greasy pit Got a head full of static, I'm so sick of this shit! My coffee pot's a weapon, my apron is a shield But my own damn feet are a goddamn battlefield! Gravity's my nemesis, the floor's my biggest foe Every single shift is a disaster-stomp-and-go!
[Chorus] 
CRACK! SNAP! POP! THERE GOES THE ANKLE! THREE DAMN PLACES, A BRAND NEW ANGLE! WOE! TO THE WOBBLY WAITRESS! A WALKING, TALKING, BREAKING MESS!
[Verse 2] 
Some old dude's wheelchair gets stuck in the jamb "I'll help you out, sir! Yes I can, ma'am!" Gave a mighty shove, a heroic lurch Left me sprawled out on the floor of this greasy church! My tray of fries went airborne, a sickening CRUNCH Became the floor's disgusting, soggy lunch!
[Chorus] 
CRACK! SNAP! POP! THERE GOES THE ANKLE! THREE DAMN PLACES, A BRAND NEW ANGLE! WOE! TO THE WOBBLY WAITRESS! A WALKING, TALKING, BREAKING MESS!
[Bridge] 
They wrapped me up in plaster, told me "take a rest" Put my fucking charity to the test! Said I was a hero, so brave and so good WHILE I'M SERVING PANCAKES ON A CHUNK OF WOOD! Well, NO GOOD DEED GOES UNPUNISHED, that’s the ugly truth! I got a splintered fibula for being sweet to youth!
[Guitar Solo]
[Outro] 
WOE TO ME! WOE TO ME! THREE! BROKEN! PLACES! THANKS FOR NOTHING! UGH!
[END]


Copyright Russell Nomer August 4, 2025 ASCAP Work ID 931338469 ISRC: QT5AM2538469


Woe To The Wobbly Waitress

insta: noluvmori
twitter: fallenfidem

lyrics:
every time that i look in your eye
it reminds me of the things you do to me
in my mind, is lies on top of lies
i cannot hide
I'm surrounded by misery 
i cannot holler, my mind is dark i wander
will you ever come back to me?
marijuana's the only thing i want ah
it helps me from causing a tragedy 

go along 
go along my darling 
go along 
go along ill be somebody

i cannot holler, my mind is dark i wander
will you ever come back to me?
come make my life complete 
and after it ill be happy
happy ever after ill be happy
but i know it won't go that way

you say you're a good girl
i say you're a liar 
kisses aren't enough 
i wanna bite through your etire

go along

deftones - change (sped up)

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