Communication can Make or Break Connection

When we say the word, “communication,” what do you think of?

- Most people will think of the spoken word. 

For the better part of every day, we are communicating with our partner 

Whether it’s the speech you deliver, the level of attention you give your spouse when they are talking to you, or the look that you give, it all means something. 
 
What is Communication?
1. The dictionary defines communication as, “the imparting or interchange of thoughts, opinions, or information by speech, writing, or signs.”
2. A Message being sent and received as it was sent 

Most interact with this belief about communication 

communication seems pretty simple. 
 
I talk, you listen. 

Most talk with the priority of WHO IS RIGHT RATHER THAN WHAT IS RIGHT

Relationship Goals part 2 - Connection

The mental aspect of your self-concerns your thoughts and your imagination. Like the physical and emotional feelings, thoughts also have to capacity to come upon you without your control, but it is far easier to consciously change your thoughts, especially when you practice being more aware of them in the first place. When people think, they often think in sentences or words, but just as often, they can think in images or words and phrases that act as a kind of shorthand. In these moments, it is quite easy for thoughts to get distorted and not accurately reflect a true situation.

What do you EXPECT?

Having difficulty with your kids? They acting out and misbehaving? 

Disconnection usually is the culprit. Connection with your children is so important for so many reasons but in one word it’s LOVE.

For the most part I have noticed that many parents have the goal of raising children to obey. With all their energy, they try to ensure that they turn out “good” and the obvious method of accomplishing this goal is to teach them to do as we say. This is a relationships based on rules and not connection or love. It’s about relationship not rules and regulations.

You may be thinking, “A relationship that is focused on connection and love sounds good but what am I supposed to do just let them do whatever they want?” 

Until our children learn to deal with what is going on inside of them, they simply cannot learn to manage the freedom that’s given to them. Behavior comes from inward beliefs therefore we must not get caught up on the behavior but rather become intentional in instilling the right beliefs.



Let’s rethink the way we are raising and training up our children. Let’s rethink how to love them in the discipline department. Do mistakes and failures always need to be punished? The parenting model that flows from this mindset presents a “punisher” role for the parent and creates an “outside-in” approach to learning about life for the child. This causes disconnection rather than connection. The goal is to love and that can only happen through heart to heart connection.

Too often we punish and try to control our children out of our own fears and insecurities. When children grow up in an environment where their parents are afraid of their mistakes, they learn to fear failure. I myself struggled with this for a long time. Because of the way I grew up I never felt good enough and felt like a failure all the time. An environment and fear and intimidation does just that, it causes disconnect and fears of failure. We cannot apply methods by which we deal with our kids that seem to be building fear and not love.

They are kids! Our children are mistake makers. They don’t know what you know and haven’t experienced what you have experienced so be patient with them. They are all on a learning journey just like us. When we are afraid of their mistakes our anxiety controls our responses to them and fear becomes the teacher in the home. 
For many parents intimidation has become the parenting tool. Using various levels of intimidation we seek to control them in order to make ourselves feel like “good parents” that have robots kids.

Do you really want fear teaching your children?

We must learn to train our children from the inside out through love to produce freedom. We want to empower our kids not make them afraid to fail. We must develop core values in them and not fears of failure. If we train them in fear they will only “obey” when we are there present with them. When we leave their fear of punishment is gone and they will make decision out of what? This is why we must develop core values within them. With core values they will live them out whether you are there or not.

Parenting on Purpose part 1

ItsRichardMartinez

Powerful parenting 2

Parenting on Purpose 3

Transformation begins from with you. Starting from your own belief system, to your emotional stability, to your decisions, to your physical health you impact and influence the world around you along with the people in it. The health and balance of your inward reality will define the health and balance of your outward reality called life.

Your Inward Conversations Create Your Life

How do you love and be loved without getting hurt? The truth is if we are truly going to love and be loved, pain will be a part of our experience.

Let me start by saying that it’s my opinion that love is the greatest need that we have as human being have along with food and water. Jim Al-Khalili a physicist says, “love is a powerful neurological condition like hunger or thirst, only more permanent”. Philippa Perry a philosopher says, “Love is above all”. Catherine Whybourne a Benedictine nun says, “Love is more easily experienced than defined…The paradox of love is that it is supremely free yet attaches us with bonds stronger than death. It cannot be bought or sold; there is nothing it cannot face; love is life’s greatest blessing.” In researching perspectives of love I found an article that says, “Deprivation comes in many shapes and forms: lack of food, diseases, maltreatment, and child abuse are some of the harms that come to mind. However, I would argue that deprivation of love can be just as deadly”

The Power of SELF LOVE

Emotional intelligence (EQ) is the ability to recognize emotions in yourself and others, and to regulate your own emotions.



Self-Awareness & Self-Control
Self Awareness 
In order to control your emotions, you must first be aware of them. 
Acknowledging them, examining them, and then assessing your triggers and activation points.

Self-control
Restraint exercised over one's own impulses, emotions, or desires


Empathy & Apathy
Empathy
1: the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another of either the past or present without having the feelings, thoughts, and experience fully communicated in an objectively explicit manner

Apathy
1: lack of feeling or emotion: 2: lack of interest or concern :


Potential & Solution minded
Solution 
an action or process of solving a problem b: an answer to a problem : explanation;  specifically : a set of values of the variables that satisfies an equation

Potential
1: existing in possibility: capable of development into actuality  
 potential benefits
2: expressing possibility; specifically  : of, relating to, or constituting a verb phrase expressing possibility, (as in "it may rain")
Questions/Measurement for Self

1.	When making a decision, do you start by considering how it will affect others?
2.	Do you stay cool and calm under pressure?
3.	Do you have relationships with a wide range of personalities and people of diverse backgrounds?
4.	Do you listen to understand (instead of listening to respond)?
5.	Are you open to feedback?
6.	Can you positively influence others?
7.	Do you accurately pick up on emotions in other people and intuitively understand what's really going on?
8.	Are you caring, compassionate, and considerate?
9.	Are you flexible and adaptable in most situations?
10.	Do you easily build rapport with others?

What superpower would you choose? Here is one you can use now!

Breakthrough
- the act, result, or place of breaking through against resistance, an important advance or discovery
- breakthrough is an experience of having reached a new level 
- an act or instance of removing or surpassing an obstruction or restrict
- any significant or sudden advance, development, achievement, or increase, as in scientific knowledge or diplomacy, that removes a barrier to progress:

3 Steps to Breakthrough! Ready Set Go!

LONG STORY SHORT
A leader is distinguished as a visionary, and Richard Martinez is no exception. He has taken the risk and put in the work of crossing language barriers, and has been dedicated to transforming nations through education. He has been equipping and empowering people for over 15 years and in over 20 Nations.

In the last 15 years, Richard has become a recognized leader in the world of personal and relational development. The study and training of Richard Martinez has led him to work beside experts in the world such as, Dr. Andrew Weil; Director of the Center for Integrative Medicine Arizona, the great recognized and acclaimed Dr. Deepak Chopra; leader in the field of “mind-body” medicine, Dr. David Katz; director of the Prevention Research Center at Yale University, and Dr. Water Willet; President Nutrition at Harvard University. These are only some among other great personalities, and researchers internationally, that Richard Martinez has had the opportunity to work with. Richard uses his passions of loving people and educating people, dance, art and music all to uniquely empower others. His methods and tools are very practical, powerful and guaranteed fast and lasting results.

Richard Martinez has a high gratitude and value for life and people. He is a man of God who believes no matter the age, color, background, beliefs, career, or level of wealth every human being wants and needs someone to love (functional loving relationships), something to do (purpose) and something to hope for (vision). He is very conscious that we have a limited number of breaths and all have a purpose on this planet. He understands that every day is a miracle, and every day he wants to transform nations, one heart at a time.

itsRichardMartinez