bus core - Half Calf

Bus Core (w/ drums) - Half Calf

written about the time i was struggling with an eating disorder.

lyrics 

How do I
So.. violently 
Hate all that’s 
Becoming of Me? 

When I scream
It’s silenced by me 
Sink or swim
Only I just sink

On the couch 
I sit and wait 
For the hunger
To fade away

It hurts to die
Especially when it’s slow
I would know
I’ve died a thousand times before 

How could I
so fervently 
yearn to be 
the shadow of me 

It’s not like she’s wanted 
not even by me 
So why is she 
the only thing i see 

how could i
so violently 
hate all that’s 
becoming of me

when i scream
it’s silenced by me 
sink or swim
round the drain i sink

in porcelain we trust again
beauty’s whims bite us again
she chews and spits us out and then
watches as we drown

purge

to the land 

She speaks in colors you’ll never see, 
You paint her black white and dull
She climbs where you’ll never reach 
You give your all to make her fall 

How does your life revolve 
around that which you are not
How do you act yourself in circles, 
stuck in the circles that you’ve wrought
You’re not a wolf, she’s not your prey
She’s too good for you, anyway 

Does it make you feel good? 
Do you feel like a…man? 
She’ll be on venus, float away
You’ll stay strapped to the land 

Convince yourself, you’re a prince, yourself
Gain your power from another’s wince, yourself
What’ll happen when her shackles crack? A little birdie told me she’s never coming back, you know 
Feigned strength’ll atrophy the real 
But she’s taking every scrap and building her ideal
And you’ll be left with nothing but your wall of rotted steel 
I wish you luck my friend….not really 

She thinks in lyrics you can’t learn
You stifle her every song 
She’ll sparkle, you’ll fucking burn
You’ll crave her spark when she’s gone

Aren’t you fucking terrified 
Of yourself when you’re alone
How do you stand yourself, no really 
Like, no offense, but dude, you’re grown
You’re not a child, she’s not your doll
She’s your downfall 

Does it make you feel good? 
Do you feel like a…man?
She’ll fly to Venus, and she’ll stay
You’ll be strapped to the fucking land 

Aow, 

Where should she go? 
Do you think she’ll go? 
Know where she’ll go? 
‘Cuz I fucking know
Not down below 
Where you fuckers, grow 

Have fun rotting…I guess *laughs*

to the land

Where are you Going, Mr. Rabbit?

your ghost

Indie acoustic singer-songwriter song about feeling like you rely on someone else too much to be okay

your ghost

lily black

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