another day another dollar out of the deep
back to the race, loving the lurid life, 
junkies & clowns

painted in bold thick lines, from cabaret stages & car crash sinnners...

when did you lose it? 
ten minutes away from realising the line between flowers & fakes?
when did you lose it?
your kingdom is built from your mistakes

expect light rains by noon, i'd bring an umbrella if i were you
times are changin' kid, you gotta change too. 

raise your white flags now, cause you won't last long in the downfall.
your heart is midwest TRASH.

midwest trash

thanks bee for the lyric suggestions luv ya ;-0 hope i can do this justice (probably not but that's dish) 

lyrics!!!! (by bee and alice)  

pls let me say this & mean it for once
i'm the KING of bad jokes & emotions we bottled up 
i'm the GOD of my own world please join me
i won't bite 
i wanna make you blush i wanna be. your. light 

You can have: the Moon and Sun, the Pharaohs, the Countries
but I want: this One. 
(This one's for me)
You can have: the Seven Seas, The Railroads, The Armies
but I want: this One.
(This night's for me)

this pair of Blue eyes can't replace the ones i drowned in ice
this tune is stuck in My Head i can't sleep or sing along 
you're lying next to me but i can't look, can't touch you
you said you loved me (!!!??!) or am i just back to dreaming?

(CHORUS)

(bridge)
i wanna jump off this cliff
sail off into the distance
hold my hand & if we die
i always find a way to come back to life! 
x2

(CHORUS CHORUS CHORUS)

[from: a bee w/ blue eyes
to: a boy w/ blonde hair]

We Could Have It All

hey hey hey! it's alice again (obviously) and i made a new track... not a good one, but it's something!! (something > nothing). please enjoy. or don't. i don't really care either way. god i am so sleep deprived. capitalism sucks.

--

sex and violence, drugs and money
feels like dying, tastes like honey
had a dream, somebody loved me
just a dream, still fucking lonely
i feel dumb & drunk & ugly

i make friends, lose em' quicker
always sick, never better
brothers fight, sisters bicker
cigarette ash hard liquour

lost the map, found the treasure
it's a trap, i'm in danger
static channels, turned up volume 
fall in love, now that'll cost you

sex and violence, drugs and money
feels like dying, tastes like honey
had a dream, somebody loved me
just a dream, still fucking lonely
i feel dumb & drunk & ugly

texts unread, seeing in grey
never upset, never okay
high school dropout, such a cliche
high pressure, going insane

blistered feet, running empty
peeling skin, red and bloody
minds a cage, guilt aplenty
padlock chains, no entry

sex and violence, drugs and money
feels like dying, tastes like honey
had a dream, somebody loved me
just a dream, still fucking lonely
i feel dumb & drunk & ugly
i feel dumb & drunk & ugly

sex & violence

putting a new spin on an old song xoxo alice

newton’s apple

hello! alice here xx thank you so much for all of the love. thanks especially to caroline and riley for giving so much love to a farewell to hearts, it's been making my day every day recently. consider this song dedicated to you!!!! please enjoy <33 

lyrics
by the time somebody loves me 
i'll have forgotten how to care
i'm a monster, you're a goner
between us there's hope there
but i'm talking in my sleep  
and thinking out loud
lying on the bathroom floor
picking at the grout 

you're running from:
1. your parents 
2. the remnants of your past 
and i'm hiding from the future,
 trying to to make these memories last!
 and when we both CRACK and burn our houses down !!
will the ashes have the answer?
 is there anything to be found...?

"you look lovely in the moonlight"
(but i go blind after midnight)
our carriages aren't pumpkins, we ride on motorbikes
we are beauty and the beast
without the beauty-
"fuck! the banks out of happy endings"
and i'm out of luck

take the pills they make you stronger
(that's a lie) but you'll sleep longer
take too much, and your head hurts
but you'll go to sleep forever.

you don't get the boy or girl
and you'll sure as hell never catch me!!!
this story ain't twilight - this is cold reality.

you took me to the movies
at a midnight showing
i had no clue what we were watching, still threw the rice at the screen!

"you look lovely in the moonlight"
(but i go blind after midnight)
our carriages aren't pumpkins, we ride on motorbikes
we are beauty and the beast
without the beauty-
"fuck! the banks out of happy endings"
and i'm out of luck

and i'm watching people i know make it big and live a life
and i'm not over getting older, i just can't get the basics right
i'm a train wreck & a loser, and you're twice the mess,
that's the closest to a "something-in-common" we'll ever get

"you look lovely in the moonlight"
(but i go blind after midnight)
our carriages aren't pumpkins, we ride on motorbikes
we are beauty and the beast
without the beauty-
"fuck! the banks out of happy endings"
and i'm out of luck

twilight filter

one hand on my waist,
the other on the wheel of your old car
impala 69, i say we take this ride
down to paradise, it shouldn't be far

you're like, "lovebug, you're so beautiful"
harvard sun on your freckled cheeks
i'm choking on a material world
money and diamonds, glitter and bling

liquour rich, lick your lips 
lean in for a vodka kiss
cherry schnapps by candlelight
i could be your ride or die

ride or die with me tonight
the sirens sing in those flashing lights,
pull me in and close your eyes
ride or die with me!

silver heels match my red nail polish
float on like an honest goddess,
oh, chipped gold paint, and cocktail thrones
live fast and die in your prom dress

leather on my waist, honey can you taste it?
we're part of the in-crowd now
glitter on shame, a million dollars to my name
we're part of the real ones now

you're like, "lovebug, you're so lovely"
west coast sun on your freckled cheeks
i'm choking on a material reality
glitter and rubies, sugar and bling

liquour rich, lick your lips 
lean in for a vodka kiss
cherry schnapps by velvet night
i could be your ride or die

ride or die with me tonight
the cameras gleam in the flashing lights,
pull me in and close your eyes
ride or die with me!

we're the old movie darlings
hollywood diamonds
stellar nebulas, gonna be big stars
living the kind of life,
you'd kill to die in

jewelry, firewater legacies
ha!

liquour rich, lick your lips 
lean in for a vodka kiss
cherry schnapps by velvet night
i could be your ride or die

ride or die with me tonight
the sirens sing in the flashing lights,
pull me in and close your eyes
ride or die with me!
ride or die with me
ride or die with me
ride or die with me, tonight

Ride or Die

you talk a lot of game,
for someone who spent their life trying not to live it
you got a lot to say?
just spit it out
no one's gonna listen anyways

under the bleachers doing cocaine
fucking up my brain (yeah)
getting through the pain,
of reliving the days i spent trying not to give in 

i don't a hug, i don't need your luck
i just need some pills and a single-round gun
i'm going insane, but it's always been that way

give that kid a gun, watch it go BANG!! 
alice pulled the trigger, blew out their brains
i waited 3 years, but nothing ever changed,
now i see there's no one but me to blame

you talk a lot 
for someone who thought 
they could fix the world with just a dream and a pen, 
you gave it your shot
tried to play god
reality hit when you turned ten

top of your class
pain in the ass
everyone wishes you'd fucking stop 
no one will care
life's not fucking fair!
no one wants to hear you sob

give that kid a gun, watch it go BANG!! 
alice pulled the trigger, blew out their brains
i waited 3 years, but nothing ever changed,
now i see there's no one but me to blame

cut my wrists, blow 
blow my head to bits
pick a good way to go out
your hands are dirty 
they haven't been clean 
since his hands moved south

cut my wrists,  
blow my head to bits
pick a good way to go out
your hands are dirty 
they haven't been clean 
since the day you turned 17

give that kid a gun, watch it go BANG!! 
alice pulled the trigger, blew out their brains
i waited 3 years, but nothing ever changed,
now i see there's no one but me to blame
nobody but me to blame

angel of small death and the codeine scene

i am not a musician
i am a villain
and villains can't be musicians
or else we might play a sad song on a guitar
and make people think we're worth redemption
anyways, i can't play guitar
so i will never be worth a listen

i can play piano
and write millions of songs
but i can't write lyrics to my piano
or piano to my words,
i know 50 notes but not a single chord

so im not a villain
i'm the neutral antagonist
there is a difference:
because the villain always loses
and the antagonist just sits there
they're holding a camera, and filming the destruction
they don't help the hero
they don't the villain
they are just neutral 
and they never win, so
they are a loser
they are a loser
i am a loser

give me more time
i need to keep writing
it's super late out
i'll write till i pass out
then in the morning when the sun comes out
i'll wake up tired, and look at my lyrics,
and i'll hate my handwriting
so i'll just keep writing 
writing writing writing!!

god let me write something
that's not superficial
i wanna be a musician!
i am not special
i am not a musician
it is official
i am a villain
i deserve nothing

give me the planet, or just hawaii
i want everything! i know nothing
i just want something
i am nothing 

god doesn't even know why he made me
i ask him if he was drunk, or slept late
he shakes his head boredly, goddamnit i hate you
curse every angel, curse the whole bible
i am the devil!!
i hate religion
i am a villain
i'm a musician
so why doesn't anyone,
anyone, anyone listen?

give me your money, 
give me your time
sell out of meaning just for a cheap rhyme
"give me liberty!"
and you gave me a coffin, never climbed in but i think about it often
america's broken, so i moved to japan
but i was too blond so i moved to iceland
so i could freeze to death! 
cause i have a deathwish...

but hell doesn't want me
and god doesn't love me 
and i made a living, playing dumb songs and
it was all for nothing
and i couldn't afford drugs!
so i wrote a sad song, hoping it would redeem me 
please don't ignore me, why does everyone leave me?

everybody's dead now,
cause i killed them
i was never a musician
so now i'm the villain
i killed the good guy
and so i win so...

that's not allowed
that's not allowed 
now people hate me and i've attracted a crowd!
everyone's stupid! everyone's dead!
i'm out of my mind! i've lost my head!
and it's just a piano, and i'm just a guy
i can't write music, and i can't even die

i'm not a musician
i'm not a villain
i'm not a hero

i'm not yet wasted
i have potential!
i have more time

i'm not a musician
i'm not a villain
i'm not a hero
i'm not even a random ordinary kind of guy
so i can't write music
but at least i tried

musician (the villain backstory song)

well no one's born fucked up 
we're made that way
i'm growing more bitter about it by the day
when i turn the stars to ash and smoke
maybe i'll start to get life's joke

well, nothing good can come from this
just a black-out drunk and a broke artist
if these witches don't burn, we can tie their wrists
string em' up outside congress

well, fuck congress
fuck progress
i'll fuck your mom and dad
fuck everyone on this big blue earth
you make me fucking mad

well maybe don't be such a fucking ass
they should teach this shit in a class!
about empathy, not stupid maths
kids are DYING right now, yet our lives come last
after BABIES, who barely have half a chance 

nothing good has ever come of this
it's not the "American Dream", it's not "God's Promise"
it's just lies and money for the upper class
well everyone can kiss my ass!

fuck congress
fuck progress
i'll fuck your mom and dad
fuck everyone on this big blue earth
you make me fucking mad

well i know there's pretty people on tv
and the old white men who run dc
but if you could all just fucking stop and look at me
maybe you'd see the world i see

i'm so sick of politics
but it's the only thing i get
stop crying over guns
you fucking piece of shit. 

kids are being kicked out of their homes
don't say we're too young to understand,
you shoved it down our throats. 

well, nothing good can come from this
just a black-out drunk and a broke artist
if these witches don't burn, we can tie their wrists
string em' up outside congress

well, fuck congress
fuck progress
i'll fuck your mom and dad
fuck everyone on this big blue earth
you make me mad

well, nothing good can come from this
just a black-out drunk and a broke artist
if these witches don't burn, we can tie their wrists
string em' up outside congress

yeah, nothing good has ever come of this
it's not the "American Dream", it's not "God's Promise"
it's just lies and money for the upper class
well everyone can kiss my ass!

well, fuck congress
fuck progress
i'll fuck your mom and dad
screw everyone on this big blue earth
you make me mad

no good deed

I've wanted to record this one forever. It's (not to be immodest ;)) my creative magnum opus. enjoy!!

i usually like to leave my tracks up to creative interpretation (i.e, allowing the concept to show through the music instead of telling you) but this one does need some explanation. "vulture culture" is slang for taxidermy, which is something i am a huge fan of and kinda fascinated with (i'm looking into apprenticeships!!). 

this was the start of the song's concept. i had just had this eerie thought of "what if it swapped, and animals stuffed humans? that'd be creepy! and kinda cool!" and VOILA. the song. it's about all the animals rebelling against humanity, and, like i said, hunting us for sport. like i said- context needed. so anyways, enjoy!

Vulture Culture

it was too little, too soon
i think i left my heart in june
but my soul is in september
with the fallen leaves and the dying embers

i open my eyes
and see what’s going on
no one ever sees me
what am i doing wrong

don’t walk away
i just want to stay
oh don’t you know
i’m never coming home

no one will hear
no one will see 
no one will ever be here for me

don’t look back
don’t close your eyes
forever in this moment
until the day we die 

don’t make me drown
whisper under your breath
we’ll fall asleep
in dreams of death
cause my soul is in september
yea, my soul is in september
oh yea, my soul is in september
with the butterflies, and the the burning embers

i don’t know if everything will be alright 
but if you hold me close tonight
and promise me you’ll never 
let me go

death will find me 
when it’s time
another month or maybe two
years or so

down the road
or maybe i’ll be here
ti’ll the world explodes
and the shards off glass that rain
down on my face will hide the pain

don’t look back
don’t close your eyes
forever in this moment
until the day we die 

i’m gonna stay in this room my whole life
maybe i’ll die here, that’d be pretty nice 

don’t make me drown
whisper under your breath
don’t make me fall asleep
in dream of death
cause my soul is in september
yea, my soul is in september
oh yea, my soul is in september
with the butterflies, and the the burning embers

in the light that they catch
as the sun draws its final breath
from the shadows they cast in the bright
glare, as at last i see the light

would they care?
what would they think?
did i even matter? 
too scared to blink
it might all vanish
and i might wake up
realizing the nightmares
were never enough

oh, a thousand years
and a thousand rocks
thrown through your window
play that song 
all night long
play it till’ your heart wants 
to let go

don’t look back
don’t close your eyes
forever in this moment
until the day we die 

don’t make me drown
whisper under your breath
don’t make me fall asleep
in dream of death
cause my soul is in september
yea, my soul is in september
oh yea, my soul is in september
with the butterflies, and the the burning embers

tonight
tonight
tonight
promise me you’ll never 
let me go
tonight
headlights
everything is alright
promise me you’ll never
ever, let me go

September Soul

i’m sorry for asking why you never called me to say
it’s a sign now that i still remember your face
cause you broke me, and so many others you can’t name
and you broke us, our hearts and our voice and our shame 

i’m sorry for wanting you back but hating you now
things will change i know, i just can’t figure out how
to stop myself from breaking down when they do
if i matter to anyone, please let it be you

i’ll give you my best
if you show me your worst
even if it hurts 
cause you are the only thing that matters
even when all we know is shattered 

we ran from the doctors, that tried to restrain us
we let the smoke spill, our feet hit the pavement
the rain on your face left you sobbing as we passed the gate
and i ran my fingers through your hair and said ‘wait’

i’ll give you my best
if you show me your worst
even if it hurts 
cause you are the only thing that matters
even when all we know is shattered 

cause you and me both know how this ends
better off as strangers, not quite distant to be friends 
and now i know it’s the one thing i can do
i’m not letting you down, i’ll still be with you

cause i’m sorry for all the terrible things that i said
and i wish i could just get you out of my head
and i’m long gone from yours i know
it’s not easy, but right now i’m letting you go

i gave you my best
you showed me your worst
the damage is done and it can’t be cured
cause that is the only thing that matters
now that all we know is shattered

Do Your Worst

lyrics:

there are nights where we are still friends
and those mostly fall on fridays, when i have nothing else to stress over
i think for shooting stars we were bright enough at the end
i guess it’s my fault i didn’t see us burning out

what’s the issue
it’s only a half lie to say i miss you
and that i think we’re better off as enemies

i used to have a best friend
but now i have another regret
i don’t know how to make this make sense 

i think we’ve invented a whole new kind of problems
and there’s no solution i can find
i think we could’ve made it if we’d just known what to call them
sometimes i wish i could read your mind

tomorrow is the last day of winter break
and i have done nothing but sit and watch the days tick
i have accomplished nothing, but i guess my plans were flimsy
to begin with anyway 

what’s the dilemma
do you not remember?
there is no good reason for me to think we lived through this 

i used to have a best friend
but now i have another regret
i don’t know how to make this make sense 

i think we’ve invented a whole new kind of problems
and there’s no solution i can find
i think we could’ve made it if we’d just known what to call them
sometimes i wish i could read your mind

there is no more cellophane 
strong enough to patch up my wounds
i have nothing to show for myself
and it’s nearly noon
and midwest nights are cold but at least
i feel them
that’s something more than i can say
about my friends

Early Mornings / Late Nights In The Midwest State Of Regret And Columbus

the family motto is 
to be the best of them all
to rise above your weakness
and not to care who falls behind you
i’m not very good at this, am i?

my father’s the greatest
he’s great with politics 
and math and all the practicalities
but he’s not very good with emotions
and if you can tell
i learned how to feel things from him

my family motto is 
“don’t cry, don’t stare
have your head held high
don’t care
don’t let them see you break down”

and so i 
tried not to cry, rarely stared,
i held my head high
but i cared
oh god i cared

i care what you think of me
and what everyone else in this room has ever felt and thought and seen me 
in every way it’s possible
to see and love and hate someone
to feel their emotions

if there’s reasonable explanations 
for why we were raised in such tidy houses
with people that were messy 
and dysfunctional at the core
then please let me know

i should not have so much in common with someone who was supposed to be my opposite

my family motto is 
“don’t cry, don’t stare
have your head held high
don’t care
don’t let them see you break down”

and so i 
tried not to cry, rarely stared,
i held my head high
but i cared
oh god i cared

we were supposed to be friends,
we were made into enemies,
we were crafted into lovers
i think we’re made for each other

but i’d say that’s probably my bias 
slipping through and showing you
i cannot be trusted
trust me, i will not be trusted 

the family motto is be the best of them all
to rise above your weakness
and my weakness is that i’ll fall
in love with you each day until my heart breaks and i spill
all over linoleum and green tiled porch steps

i’m breaking my family motto today
if that’s alright with you

The Family Motto

my tears ricochet (cover)

more experimental this time!
its a song about leaving behind a relationship, and being torn between wanting to hold onto it, or let it go and move on. ty to my ex for the love letter she sent me, as its what im reading in the outro.

there is nothing left for me 
except the sound of the sea,
and i can get that anywhere
besides, by now it only serves as a reminder
of the days we spent together
hold your umbrella tight, in this rainy weather

i still find myself running in my sleep
into your arms like you were just a dream

will you buy me roses?
one last parting gift
will you kiss me goodbye?
can you promise me this?

i will wait for sunrise
i will wait to die
bury me in roses
i want to feel the thorns

there is nothing left for me 
just an empty shell lying on its side
i press my hear against it, and hear the tide
crashing down like drunken angels,
stumbling through the doorway, with tangled hair, like perfect strangers 

i could think of something nice to get you
but the gift shop closed last week
besides, i need the money for my tickets to leave

will you buy me roses?
one last parting gift
will you kiss me goodbye?
can you promise me this?

i will wait for sunrise
i will wait to die
bury me in roses
i want to feel the thorns

i wanna feel em'
i wanna feel em'
i wanna feel it
i wanna feel something
i wanna feel em'
i wanna feel em'
i wanna feel it 
i wanna feel something

bury me in roses

i know about bad things
i used to be one of them

angels don't cry for the sinners,
yet im still caught in the rain somehow
give it a month, i promise ill get thinner
and drunk enough to survive the drought

"you put the 'fun' in funeral!"
thanks, i know
it's not under my control
tomorrow i won't even know my name
there's no one but myself to blame
there's no one but myself to blame
no one, no one, no one.

no one

Growing up in the shadows
Of my sleep paralysis
Knowing I’ll never be as good as them
Hoping that one day she’ll see what I’ve done
And say hey, little boy, I’m so proud of my son

Some parents tell their kids
They can be whatever they want
Well my Mom doesn’t settle for 
Less than a God 
Burning through the dreams
Of idle dilettantes
Ripping out the pages
Of some idiot savant

It’d make a criminal wanna cry
Make a politician wanna die 
Strip gods faith straight from a witness
And we call it the family business
Oh! Oh! No! The family business…

Learn the politics
Of eldritch drama
And write another page on my childhood trauma
Spending borrowed time
While I’m burning through karma 
Doing it all for dear old Mama! 

Standing in my mirror
Pulling out my baby teeth
Wishing there was sharper things underneath
She’ll never be happy till I rip off my skin
Seal my fate and uncover my sins
I should’ve realised I can never win 
Against my own 

It’d make a criminal wanna cry
Make a politician wanna die 
Strip gods faith straight from a witness
And we call it the family business
Oh! Oh! We call it The family business!
Oh! The family business!

The Family Business

lonely god requiem

they'll call her ALICE one day but for now they're just another shipwreck .. xx

certified midwest trash

supported by: lydia s, august, bee, ioannes, ava, bunny, coffee, and the full force of mid 2000s pop culture.

shipwrecked alice

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