you didnt know what was on the other side
but i guess you were ready to find out
i wrote your name in chalk on the sidewalk when we were kids
thought I was so hard listening to the misfits
"have a great summer" in your yearbook in 7th grade
i watched your part in all the videos tom made

i poured a warm beer down your bathroom sink when we were fifteen
i cried the same night when you said you had a crush on mia and not me
sunk down in my mom's ford taurus
when i saw you skating at the taco bell
would never have guessed then that it would be this way now

i wish i would have reached out and made sure you were alright
but it's only hindsight

could i ask you now, wherever you are?

H.A.G.S.

i am the cake
you are the mouth
the big greedy mouth
the big drooling mouth

spits flattery with the same tongue and teeth that will devour me
i am so sick
of being somebody's cake
what if i want to be the mouth for a change

i could be the mouth
the big greedy mouth
the big drooling mouth that takes a bite out of you
you laugh, cause you know that i ain't got it in me

so i'll be your cake
and you can be an exception to the rule,
you can have your cake and eat it too
but i hope you choke when you do

Cake

where did i go wrong?
threw off everything
so bad that it warped time and space
so heavy, it bent gravity out of place
now the tides are fucked
and my feet are stuck
everything moves slower
orbits run amok

the moon just stares out of spite
and its dark all the time

the force split us into two realities
the new me must be smashing all the mirrors that it sees
walking under the ladder that leads you to me
opening umbrellas indoors
thinking earthly rules don’t apply anymore

and now god hates me
and my luck is worn

i sure as hell can’t fix it now
i’ll just have to wait til the universe recollapses
til each memory of our consciousness lapses
til the next big bang
did we learn our lesson?
existing is such a pain

oh, gorgeous ascension
mother, will we exist again
in the same dimension?

its dark all the time
now its dark all the time

Dark All The Time

you want to change the channel
youve seen it all before
you want to ditch your avatar
youre bored with being bored

you couldnt find the right pretenses
an understated "hard"
so this is how it ends, love
facedown in your front yard

your mouth isnt a mouth anymore
a wet cavern for a slug
your garden gate left open
you, the grass, your drugs
your bare calves, a resting place for morning dew
youve begun the process of no longer being you

you want to jump out of existence
two finger salute your anatomy
leave the microwave wide open
disband reality

Slug

stuck watching from the fish tank
in the corner of the room
i stare
slow and rippled
sickly, slimy green and mute

asked me what its like
how can i describe
its like the tallest bridge you know
cold wind, cloud height
its like your old xacto knife
sharp enough, still shines
your old xacto knife
sharp enough, still shines

i watch all of them smiling
mother's apron starchy white
beat my fists against the glass
screams float towards the light

asked me what its like
how can i describe
its like the tallest bridge you know
cold wind, cloud height
its like your old xacto knife
sharp enough, still shines

X-acto Knife

my face dripping with snot
you’re smoking p funks in the parking lot
i’m hard to love and you are not
had something to say
but I forgot

i watched the muscle under your eye tense
when I asked, “what’s the worst thing you ever did?”
stealing earrings in the bathroom at syd’s 
mushroom cloud in the rearview, idiot kid

sitting cross-legged, deep in thought
two fingers on my pulse
stomach in knots
i'm hard to love and you are not 
had something to say but I forgot

Snot

guilt has a taste and smell
it aches like sore muscles
and it stings like hell

panic and overreacting
over all of the things i seem to be lacking

by tensing for the fall, i am creating the height
and by putting up my fists, i am starting the fight
but dont panic

looks like weve forgotten our worth again
well it wont hurt to just ask you how youve been

by expressing my doubts, im only adding to yours
and by opening one door, im only shutting three more
but dont sweat it

ive got some boundaries all blurred
and youve got all these little teeth made of words

still, my guilt, all dripping blue
still got a few things i could say to you
i am a red moon blowing hot words at you
we cant pretend
that neither of us knew

you told me, "dont panic"
i wont

Don't Sweat It

how are you today?
i saw your friends band play
a little show last night
its not my thing, they were alright

you were in my dream last week
id like to hear what you think
we passed a house driving fast
the sun was shining on the grass

you made me stop and leave the car
you pulled my sleeve,
but not too hard

remember when you took too much?
i didnt mind being your crutch

we loved you then
its not the same
i dont like how things change

Change (Alex G)

his pronouns hurt
theyve got a fifty percent chance
of making me bleed

im learning to live
with my face contorted 
and my vision distorted

its not that logic eludes me,
its that love consumes me



and hes such a big him
that even a simple 'howve you been?'
fucks up the entire
process of extinction

i illuminate
and segregate
the good from the bad
the have from the had

but hes still hanging on
just enough to turn my mood
like a hangnail
or a headache

i want it to go away

just like a headache
he him his
we us ours

Hangnail

i dreamt of a little white fish
dead in the hands of my lover
and i felt nothing but anger
that he’d kept it,
that i had to face it at all

he’ll ask and ill tell him
how i spent my last few laps around the sun
sliding off the shoulder
of a shrugging cupid

what will this be when its all over?
a blip in continuity, babe?
a blemish on the timeline?
hiccup on the record?
i think I’m doomed

do you remember when i caved in?
i said alright
and you said shake on it
and we shook on it
do you remember?
my little white fish, do you remember?

Hands

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