When it is black and it’s too dark to cry
When there’s only one desire your thirst to die 

I will be the light can’t make you feel okay but I will keep you going so that you can one day 

When it seems there is no worse no words describe the way you feel the pain so deep and inside

I will be your friend and I will let you know there’s a reason to breath there’s a reason to hope 

When all you want is rest just to not feel this when feeling normal is the only thing you miss

I will be your shield to help you keep your fight I will get you through this there is so much more to life 

When it’s been one too many years one too many tears just hold on to me our love is more than fear 

I will raise you up higher than you can see warmer than the sun our hearts smile in the peace 

The birds they will fly and the waves they will crash not a cloud in your mind a smile that can last

You feel the beauty all around a tear steams down your face I will bring you home it’s not so far away

When you feel you’ve felt too much so that you can’t feel at all that no one will be there to catch you if you fall 

I will comfort you if you just call out my name I will give my hand we’ll dance in the rain

When you feel this world is a hell that will never end all you want is out done trying to pretend 

I will build you up i will make you strong show you there is reason to keep on keeping on 

When you’re mad your anger turns to me you tell me I’m not worth it that I’m too good to be

You could never lose my love and that’s when my love will show by now that is something that you ought to know

When it’s been one too many years one too many tears just hold on to me our love is more than fear 

I will raise you up higher than you can see warmer than the sun our hearts smile in the peace 

The birds they will fly and the waves they will crash not a cloud in your mind a smile that can last

You feel the beauty all around a tear steams down your face I will bring you home it’s not so far away

Not so Far Away

Good days are no longer good days 
Good days are just days void of one pain 

But there is always something for my brain
To focus on and force me to feel the flame

They say the grass is greener on the other side so let me climb this fence just one more time

I am just waiting here in my box twist me if you need me and I’ll come outside and talk

But if you’d rather leave me in here alone that’s fine i’ve liked the dark since We have grown 

It’s good strange is pretty to the insane 
Cuz that’s the only thing that makes me feel safe

I don’t know what I believe but I know I have faith faith so I can breath  

And I would never ever ever hurt a fly
But it seems I hurt myself all of the time 

I am just waiting here in my box twist me if you need me and I’ll come outside and talk

But if you’d rather leave me in here alone that’s fine i’ve liked the dark since we have grown

I don’t even have my good memories 
They’re all just tainted by the many injuries

But at least the worst ones my mind blocks out I say at least too much at least the worst are past now

And I would never ever ever hurt a fly
But it seems I hurt myself all of the time 

I am just waiting here in my box twist me if you need me and I’ll come outside and talk

But if you’d rather leave me in here alone that’s fine i’ve liked the dark since we have grown

I leave beauty so damn quickly but when I decide to stay or give it quits me 

Not for love, attention, or the recent It’s one of the few where no answers make sense 

Im so tired and I like my dreams and it’s lighter when I close my eyes so I may as well sleep

I am just waiting here in my box twist me if you need me and I’ll come outside and talk

But if you’d rather leave me in here alone that’s fine i’ve liked the dark since We have grown

You think most my time I’m outside my box but there’s so much inside so much time I’ve lost 

And lately texts end all in green and in blue empty arrows to the heart so much time to lose 

But I can still fake it if you need me to darkness in my soul but smiling at you

I am just waiting here in my box twist me if you need me and I’ll come outside and talk

But if you’d rather leave me in here alone that’s fine i’ve liked the dark since I have grown

Let me out

Jack in the Box

If only I had wings if only I could fly Id never wanna close my eyes

If only I had love if only I had you I would have meaning I’d have muse 

If only I had friends if only I had a place I’d have no more time to waste

If only I had this if only I had that once they’re mine they’re just the things I had 

If I was a deaf man who could hear a blind man who could see

It just wouldn’t be enough to satisfy me  

Because none of the good will come and none of the bad will go 

I’ve been through it too many times I’ve had enough to know

The things that seem they would end all of the problems and start all the change

Don’t make a difference at all id still be the same man stuck in vain

If only I had wings if only I could fly I’d be too scared to die 

If only I had love if only I had you I’d just think of the other guys you knew 

If only I had friends if only I had a place I’d only loose them as they aged

If only I had this if only I had that once they’re mine they’re just the things I had 

Is there anything or anyone who can fill this hole inside 

Is there anything or anyone who can help me see the light 

Is there anything or anyone who can stand the test of time 

Will I have to feel what I’ll feel if only I could try 

If I was a deaf man who could hear a blind man who could see

It just wouldn’t be enough to satisfy me  

Because none of the good will come and none of the bad will go 

I’ve been through it too many times I’ve had enough to know

The things that seem they would end all of the problems and start all the change

Don’t make a difference at all id still be the same man stuck in vain

If Only

As I was laying in my bed 

Amazing grace then you left

I thought you’d come with the day

Instead the world turned to Grey

Myself my things mom and dad 

I didn’t know you were everything i had 

I would never leave you I could never leave why did you leave me

So many questions and only one answer I can’t see

I’ll leave everything behind
I’ll give you my life 

I just need a reason to believe I could be whole again 

I will throw it away all my nights all my days for you in the end

No one else it must be you
I am dust I need you

Sun is shinning on the faces 

My soul torn to empty spaces 

Crowd is cheering crowd has grown

The more people the more alone 

Do you want me on my knees 

Shame would be a good distraction for me

I would never leave you I could never leave why did you leave me

So many questions and only one answer I can’t see

I’ll leave everything behind
I’ll give you my life 

I just need a reason to believe I could be whole again 

I will throw it away all my nights all my days for you in the end

No one else it must be you
I am dust I need you

As I was laying in bed 
Amazing grace you came again

I Need You

Stomach drops heart stops as mother dies 

New mom laughs I ask oh Jesus why 

Dad he knows knots grow over my skin

Dad he goes alone I’ve always been 

No matter the hate that’s thrown I will never let it grow 

That’s the person inside me and maybe one day they could see I’m

Beautiful just like them

Just one kind man just one friend 

I’m a good man not a freak

I won’t hurt you I am me 

Elephant man in the room

Is somebody seeing soon

Now I am paid for shame I am a freak 

Sold like cattle rattled they also scream

But they all taunt and haunt my memories

I’m so lonely if only they all could see

No matter the hate that’s thrown I will never let it grow 

That’s the person inside me and maybe one day they could see I’m

Beautiful just like them

Just one kind man just one friend 

I’m a good man not a freak

I won’t hurt you I am me 

Elephant man in the room

Is somebody seeing soon

I’m deserted cursed and over seas 

Every quarter tortured taken from me

But one kind man takes stance to rest my bones 

But two kind men again give me a home

I am not an animal

I am not an animal 

I am a human being

I am I am

Beautiful just like them

The two kind men they’re my friends

I’m a good man not a freak

I won’t hurt you I am me 

Elephant man in the room

I am Joseph my love grew

The Elephant Man

Remember the time 
We first said hello
I liked you right away
You faked you had to go 

But I didn’t stop 
I always came back
I made you smile 
I made you laugh

Remember the time 
I said something wrong 
You slammed on the breaks
But couldn’t for long 

It was the same night 
I stole our first kiss
It’s the times like these 
Times I’ll always miss

And I know it’s not easy 
I know that it’s hard
To pick up your reason 
And lay down your heart 

We’re not young forever 
We desire the stars 
We must search other lives 
To find who we are 

Though it feels so wrong 
We both know it’s right 
We’ve said our hellos 
Now it’s time to say goodbye 

Remember the time 
You said you couldn’t love 
You gave it all away
But nothing had come 

But I didn’t stop 
Until you said the words
Felt like the first 
Words I ever heard 

And I’ll always love you 
Though you don’t think i can 
I love you right now 
Just like I loved you then

And I’ll always love you 
I know that somehow 
I loved you then 
Just like I love you now 

And I know it’s not easy 
I know that it’s hard
To pick up your reason 
And lay down your heart 

We’re not young forever 
We desire the stars 
We must search other lives
To find who we are 

Though it feels so wrong 
We both know it’s right 
We’ve said our hellos 
Now It’s time to say goodbye

Goodbye

I dream of another life
A life without these chains

I wouldn’t have to dream
I’d live while I’m awake 

I can’t run after the fall
But I am starting to crawl

I dream I could go back then
With only the things I had

I didn’t know the reason why
I had the reason not to ask

I can’t run after the fall
But I am starting to walk

Though I dream of another life 
I hold on to the life I breath 

For the moments magic is real
And I feel it’s meant to be

I’m the person I am right now
I’m not the person I was then

Accepting things I can’t change
changing the things that I can

I’m not who I could be 
I am who I am 

I’m learning to love myself 
I’m learning to live again 

I dream of who I could be 
If i could step outside this cave 

The things that I could know
The people I could make

I friend shadows from the flames 
I’m starting to like the rain 

I’m starting to like the man
I’ve found inside the pain 

I’m starting to like these years
I’m starting to like today 

And maybe if I could choose
I would keep this life with you

Though dream of another life 
I hold on to the life I breath

For the moments magic is real
And I feel it’s meant to be 

I’m the person I am right now
I’m not the person I was then

Accepting things I can’t change
And changing the things that I can

I’m not who I could be 
I am who I am 

I’m learning to love myself 
I’m learning to live again 

Yes there will be years 
Yes I’ll make mistakes
I must fall to know death
I promise that’s okay 

Yes there will be years 
Yes there will be pain 
I must rise to know life
So I can live today

Learning to Live Again

Are you living alone or with those who you love

Have you found your peace yet or do you still have wants 

Do you have your regrets for all of your old sins 

Or just for the good things that you never did 

Have I made you proud am I good enough

Do I make you smile do you feel my love 

Have I cried enough to show I still care

Do you hear my voice do you hear this prayer 

If I reached it out would you hold my hand 

To show you are here until we meet again 

Are there any angels who fly you to the truth

Do you watch the sunsets from another moon 

Is our God a kind man or is he all outlove 

Do you gaze at the stars with another son 

Have I made you proud am I good enough

Do I make you smile do you feel my love 

Have I cried enough to show I still care

Do you hear my voice do you hear this prayer 

If I reached it out would you hold my hand 

To show you are here until we meet again

Until We Meet Again

I am tired of desire through pixels of ones I’ve never met

I am tired of desire through voices in songs sung for the best 

I am crying I am trying to live a life that’s more like his

I am crying I am trying to live a life that can’t be lived 

Life is better than the movies better than the best song that you’ve ever heard

We can’t be the knights and we can’t be the heroes who save the world from dragons and break the final curse 

But we could be the best friends we could be the heroes who catch ourselves when falling and make a better earth 

Life’s not meant for waiting life is meant for living it’s meant for getting better and writing our own verse 

I see nothing I need something that’s real that gets me out of bed

I hear nothing I fear something that’s real that makes me think I can

I am waiting I am praying for rain to fall upon my skin 

I am waiting I am praying for anything to change this life I live 

Life is better than the movies better than the best song that you’ve ever heard

We can’t be the knights and we can’t be the heroes who save the world from dragons and break the final curse 

But we could be the best friends we could be the heroes who catch ourselves when falling and make a better earth 

Life’s not meant for waiting life is meant for living it’s meant for getting better and writing our own verse

Real Life

It starts with the sunlight it starts with the day all the things Ive never done all the words I could not say 

It ends with the moonlight it ends with the night all the things that I have done all the wrongs I cannot right 

But what about the middle what about what’s in between all the good things that I did do and the love returned to me

The moments of surrender to the moments I realize there’s no limits placed on love there’s no person it can’t right

You make it feel like nothing matters in the best way just the moments we have all in all a whole lot better than the time we’ve  lost the time unweathered you make me real 

It starts with the daylight it starts with the sun the feeling of value for the self there is none

It ends with the nightlight it ends with the moon always stronger than nothing and nothing I can do

But what about the middle what about what’s in between the rush of knowing all things that we could mean

The moments of surrender to the moments I realize I have never been alone and if I am then that’s alright 

You make it feel like nothing matters in the best way just the moments we have all in all a whole lot better than the time we’ve  lost the time unweathered you make me real

Straws of Hay

One day I’ll hold you and lay down my head I’ll have a real life just like the rest 

One day I’ll sit on that porch chair 
I’ll know it’s over when music warms the air 

One day I’ll be so far away from the reasons why I have to pray 

These nights just a thought a smile throws all the questions answered your secrets I will know 

It’s not faith when I feel you maybe I don’t It’s not hope when there’s sunlight maybe I won’t

It’s not love when it’s easy it’s when I’m alone these things are only real when I don’t know 

And maybe one day but in someway 

One day I’ll have a wife kids 
I won’t need to sing a song like this 

One day they’ll grow and leave me in time 
but I’ll smile knowing that’s the worst thing on my mind 

One day I’ll be a an older man the kind that laughs and feels the sand 

It will all be worth these bloodied tears just a thought I haven’t had to have in years 

Where you when I was lost 
I was so young so long I fought 

Where were you in my darkest nights 
I am so young and alone in this life 

It’s not faith when I feel you maybe I don’t 
It’s not hope when there’s sunlight maybe I won’t 

It’s not love when it’s easy when I’m alone these things are only real when I don’t know

And maybe one day but in someway I’m already home

This is my house with the broken door the the fallen glass and the torn up floor 

The sunken roof and wood windows but I’m alive I’m human I’m me with you in my home 

I was showing you in my lone days 
That I know what it’s like to feel this way 

I’ve always been here even though you won’t you are lost you are blind but you will never be alone

Billy

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