Houston, we have a problem. That was the iconic radio message transmitted from the crippled Apollo 13 space craft back to mission control. But, we alcoholics don’t have the luxury of mission control to guide us through life. Some times we know we have a problem - other times we don’t.
If we are not sure, there are a number of simple tests we can find online.

Real Sobriety Podcast

Ep. 35: Do I Have a Drinking Problem?

12 Step study continues; Whatever our concept of God or a a Higher Power -  a good starting point may be that Step 3 might do nothing more than to reveal that we are not all powerful over our addictions and we need - and we seek - help and guidance on the road to recovery.

Ep. 46: Step 3 - Good Orderly Direction

A mid-summer addiction recovery rant. And, like most rants it runs overtime and sounds a bit crazy. I share my thoughts on new U.S. attorney general Jeff Sessions and his ramping up the failed War on Drugs, the positive possibilities of the natural supplement Kratom, and how some authorities are refusing to respond to emergency overdose calls. The take away? We must look after each other, now more than ever.

Ep. 62: A Rant - Sessions, Kratom and Naloxone

Where do you go when you want to get clean and sober but can’t afford a treatment center rehab bill?
I realize that many of my assumptions about recovery are based on my own experience. And, as such, I can’t help but include my own biases on this podcast. It is just the way we humans are. We see and share things based on our own particular set of circumstances. But what about people with whom we have little in common? How can I, a middle class, middle-aged north American white man possibly relate to a person with limited means, living on the edge, but who wants desperately to kick their addiction? I probably can’t. 
But, what I can offer, and what I learned in recovery, is empathy. I can offer compassion. I can offer my hand when you reach out.

Ep. 67: Be the change

We often hear about the change that comes over us when we get into addiction recovery. But, the longer I remain sober, and investigate my own experience, I realize that I haven’t changed so much. What I have done is explored who I really am, and became comfortable with the Robert I found. Yes, indeed, recovery really is an inside job.
You see, it was the person I was when I was actively in my addiction that was the phony. The Robert who drank, drugged, lied, and cheated was not the real me, but the person I thought I had to be to survive in a dangerous world. I couldn’t have been more wrong.
It turns out that all this talk about changing, and having a complete spiritual and mental rearrangement is a bunch of crap. It may have read well on someone’s psychology PhD dissertation a long time ago, and seems to have been adopted by, and written into almost every addiction recovery treatment plan since. It is just wrong. At least it is wrong for me.
We humans are not very good at adapting to change. We seek harmony and balance, something called homeostasis. Rather than seeking change, we seek psychological equilibrium, not psychological rearrangement. We certainly rearranged our psyche’ more than once behind our drinking and drugging.
Eventually, I realized that everyone who was genuinely trying to help me was really just trying to change me into something, someone they could fit into a box with a certain psychological or medical diagnosis label on it. They were well meaning, all these therapists and counselors, but they were slightly off the mark. They were trying to mold me into someone with whom they could be comfortable. Someone pliable and pleasant, and non-threatening. They were seeking to close out my treatment plan with a happy face and the final, familiar success story of how their wisdom and expertise led to me changing my ways and living happily ever after. Yes, many people still believe in the recovery fairy tale.
I’d encourage you to undertake an inner expedition to discover and accept yourself for who you are. I’d suggest that you find out about yourself, and accept what you find as your new reality - and soon you’ll realize that this reality is truth and it has been all along. And this new acceptance of yourself may just turn out to be the most powerful force in your recovery.
This is the 68th episode of this podcast, and I know that many times in the course of these installments, I’ve used cliches like “the courage to change” or “choosing to change.” I’m here today to admit my short coming. My late father once told me that the four most powerful words in the English language are “I may be wrong.” Well, I was. The more I learn about myself, and the close friends I admire in the recovery community, the more I realize that recovery is a whole lot more about self discovery than it is about changing who we are. My recovery is more about connection than criticism and change. When we encourage someone to change, we are telling them that they are not good enough as they are. I never want to make that mistake again. I may be wrong.
Go out, be an explorer - discover your true self.

Ep. 68: I was wrong about change – self discovery is the key to addiction recovery

When the world seems overwhelming, what does a person who is addicted to drugs or alcohol do? In the past, we would reach out to our only friend, our addiction because it was the only place we found warmth, and in the course of using we could escape for a few hours from the reality of the world’s harsh circumstances. But now that we are sober and in recovery, that is not an option.
There is no shortage of bad news. Racism, sexism, mass shootings, nuclear threats, hunger, natural disasters, terrorism - pick one. Every day, it seems our world becomes More dangerous and cold. 
Some of my friends in recovery tell me that they choose to ignore the news, the drama and constant reminders of man’s inhumanity to their fellow man. Oh how I envy them. I only wish I could. I, on the other hand, have always been engaged with current events. I was trained as a photojournalist, an observer and documentarian. I’m also licensed as a nurse, and sometimes, no matter how hard I try, I can’t deny my empathy. I am the kind of person who feels other’s pain, and I have compassion for the injured and weak. Being an empath can be a full-time job.
So, what do we do? We connect with each other through our recovery, with our families, our friends, and with strangers. We seek the human connection, no matter how trivial it may seem. We smile and wave at our neighbors. We offer our seat to the elderly woman on the bus. We send a friendly email to a friend we haven’t heard from in a while. We do all the small things that connect us to the world around us. In twelve step rooms this is often called “getting out of ourselves.” I’m here to bear witness that it works. 
Over the course of my recovery I’ve come to the conclusion that what I lacked, what my big ugly personal black hole was - is connection with others. I filled that hole with drugs and alcohol and selfishness and possessions and personal power. I was so wrong. My old sponsor used to call it the hole in my donut. 
Now, I fill that hole with compassion, caring, friendship, and love. I no longer see a donut with a hole, but a sweet, cream filled center. But, I am always fighting my addiction to food, so maybe I should find a better analogy. Or, maybe I should invite my friends for coffee at a donut shop? That way, I can fill the hole with… okay, never mind that. In the end it is the connection that matters. And when things get overwhelming, connecting with others and engaging with the world is exactly what works for me.

Ep. 69: Overwhelmed? Try Connecting!

One day at a time can be applied to many aspects of life beyond addiction recovery!

Ep. 70: One Day at a Time really works!

Managing pain with Kratom has been successful for people in addiction recovery, like me.

Ep. 72: Managing pain with Kratom

Ep. 73: Downsizing

It is that time of year when we all look back at the year behind, and ahead to the new year.

Ep. 75: Addiction Recovery Inventory

On an emotional roller coaster that leads to feeling bad? I just had to learn a hard lesson in humility!

Ep. 76: On an Emotional Drunk

I'm high on opioid pain meds while I record this addiction recovery podcast about pain management.

Ep. 77: I'm High

Thank you all for subscribing, sharing and supporting this little podcast for 100 episodes…and counting. In this podcast, I figured it was time for a re-introduction: Who is this Robert guy and why is he blabbing on about recovery? And I ponder the question: Do we ever recover from drug and alcohol addiction?

One Hundred Episodes

Recovered Alcoholic, Addict, Writer, Filmmaker, Sober Coach, Prison Nurse. Robert's Real Insights, Real Fast! Recovery in 5 minutes or less!

Real Sobriety

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