It's a song about loosing my brother in a car accident and the days that followed after. Maybe it will help someone out there going through the same thing. 🙏✝️

i started rapping, not to get in the game
i started rapping, to express my pain
my brother died and it changed the game
and now im sitting here with all this pain
suicidal thoughts inside my head are flowing
nobody knowing, not showing, 
but its eating me up inside and i dont know if i can keep going

i remember everything like it was yesterday 
that phone call my mama made
telling me that my brother had died 
and that was the day everything changed
Drove home at 4 in the morning
mind empty, heart racing
seeing my brothers jacket hanging 
drenched with the blood from his head 
i cant get over the smell and the feeling of my brother blood on my hands
Knowing his gone and that its the end 
and that i will never see him again

the end was near and we never saw it coming
he cheated death and it came back running
i feel like im losing my mind
dont know these feelings inside
thinking of my brother and how he had died
making me question my whole life.

Thoughts going round in my head
feeling like ive hit the ground again
how can i pick myself up 
when his gone and i cant ever see him again

i miss him dearly, words cant explain
emptyness i never thought id see again
every day a reminder, that things arent the same

We use to be six and now we just five
how can we carry on when one of us is no longer alive

i carry his memory inside of me
a part of him that will never leave
and how he inspired me
to be the best person that i was meant to be
2020 was a fucking tragedy 
but im looking up cause his staring down at me

and oneday when its my end
i will see him again
at heavens gates he will be standing 
and i will greet him once again
ill tell him brother im sorry
he will tell me brother dont worry

the pain is gone i have no fear
no worries no sorrows no one sheds a tear
im just glad you are here

Leon Van Driel