a certain future

Little Blessings

https://nowyyorg9.wixsite.com/seasional-optimist/lifeisstrange

album :   Too many words have been said
                Zbyt wiele padlło słów
                 n o w y y o r g   2 0 2 3

Life Is Strange

what is next by wayne moyers

A kaleidoscopic depiction of my sense of wonder.
Haiku text by fectoper.
Haiku musical theme (initial koto loop) by Eva Grill https://soundcloud.com/eagri1967

Your mind's labyrinths.
Light that shines beyond your eyes.
The Universe blinks.

Haiku recited by an AI voice from https://speechgen.io/. 
No humans were harmed during the process.

My sense of wonder

My Sense Of Wonder

Gleeful Power

Lyrics:

Something is happening, nature unbalancing
Got to do something before it’s too late
There’s nothing that can be done to stop it, can we
All just do something and start a clean slate
The wonders we’re handling spirits are channeling
Ghosts of the past are still here today
Nothing can ever be destroyed completely
It manifests itself in some other way

Now tomorrow comes, it’s already here
Can you hear it calling?  The future is near

There will come a day where you will have to say
The things that no one would ever want to say
Nothing is guaranteed in life, not your safety
Or your happiness, or even dismay
Reach out and grab it, the life, you can have it
Don’t just sit around wasting another day
Find it in yourself to get off of the shelf
The life that you need, there is no other way

Now and for always, you are what you’re meant to be
And in this moment you are one little thing in everything

Debts are encroaching and death is approaching
The end is nearer every day that you live
But don’t let it scare you, or even impair you
In living and giving all that you can give
There’s no time like right now, and maybe somehow
We can all just do something before it’s too late
We should all be reaching for what we are preaching
And maybe some day we will control our fate

One Little Thing In Everything

Aesthete

(Free WAV Download available here under '••• More'; and eventually, as part of 'Last Call')

Greetings my SC friends. It’s been a strange few months, and I am excited to be back. But I have a feeling it’s not going to look like it did… at least for the near future. I’m having a hard time organizing my thoughts lately. And while the musical energy is flowing better than ever, my ability to write satisfying liner notes is feeling a little clogged (this will be my 6th attempt at this write-up). 

As much as I regret it, the write-ups may need to stay on hold for a while longer. But first, I wanted to share what happened (in the form of a write-up. Lol). 

For starters, it’s important to mention I’ve been an alcoholic since I was 15 (a 40 year relationship). And although I genuinely loved what a nice beer buzz did for my noisy mind, I also knew what toxic alcoholism looked like (from many examples in my extended family). So I knew I had my work cut out for me, if I wanted to overcome my genetic dependancy. 

Granted, I also have a ‘responsibility’ vein that runs deep. I did my best to prioritize my family and responsibilities first (‘don’t drink til 5:00. Don’t drink if ya have to drive’ kinda stuff), and I considered myself a ‘functioning alcoholic’. Truthfully, I was never ashamed of my drinking. As a teenager, the ability to not give a shit that I found in a beer buzz honestly saved my life. And it allowed me to unplug from the noise for many decades after that.

But I wanted to do better than that, so I started making changes quite a while ago. Here’s a brief summary of how that unfolded:

1. Back in 2006 I concluded my negative headspace was the root of the problem (perspective is huge); so I altered my daily routines, knowing it would take years to undo the lifetime of programming that caused that thinking in the first place. I started consuming info that was positive and hopeful and loving (and avoided negative info like my life depended on it… which it did). And I did that intensively for the next 15 years.

2. But by January of 2023, I realized the beer buzz no longer quieted the noise and ugliness happening in the world (it all went too chaotic too fast). So if the crutch wasn't helpful, it needed to go. That’s when I tried Tai Chi (to give my mind something else to focus on). And it worked brilliantly.

3. Over the next 6 months, thanks to the calmer headspace created by Tai Chi, I cut my drinking tremendously (and for perspective, we’re talking 9-18 Natties daily… down to 3-6 Natties daily). The surprise outcome… the fog in my mind was clearing for the first time, and I was not prepared for sober adult Justin (man is my brain chattery when left to it’s own devices). So at the beginning of August 2023, I decided to take my Social Media break. That was more timely than I could have imagined, because…

4. On August 26th I was given the gift of Pancreatitis (the disease that lets you know ‘Wow, Dude. You drink way too much’). I went to the Emergency room with terrible intestinal pain, and I ended up in the hospital for 5 days. Long story short, I left the hospital sober, and have been that way ever since. And I’m genuinely happy about that… because thankfully, I did a great job preparing for that day.

So in a nutshell... I am back. But the writings may have to wait a while longer (at least until I figure out how my new clearer headspace works). Interestingly, I managed to produce almost an entire album of new music over my break, so I'll put those new songs up on SC over the coming weeks. 

And since I’m just a few songs short of completion, I’ll be releasing a very personal album (symbolizing my adventures with sobriety) very soon. It’s called ‘What Color Is Your Paradox?’, and I hope to have it on Bandcamp in February.

In the meantime, I’m happy to be back. And I look forward to seeing what all of you have been up to over the last few months. :)

 Big hugs from your blatantly open-book friend.
-Justin

The Deep End

Do Spirits Return

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