Caverne

"The beatings. The coldness. You never saw a smile."

Jimmy Stewart recounts experiences which are piercingly harrowing - but not uncommon.

He is one of thousands of survivors of institutions for children in Northern Ireland, where abuse of young residents was widespread.

When he was eight, Jimmy was taken into Nazareth Lodge in Belfast - a place he quietly describes as "a nightmare".

His mother had died of cancer, aged 32. His father was deaf and unable to speak.

"Though he tried to look after us, he couldn't," Jimmy says.

He remembers the nun who met him and his younger brother Patrick at the door called them "wee mongrels".

The boys didn't know what that meant at the time, but later learned it was a reference to his parents' mixed marriage - one was a Catholic, the other a Protestant.

Jimmy Stewart remembers getting "the mother and father of all beatings" after he ran at a nun when she was physically abusing his younger brother, Patrick.

The vivid nature of his memories are clear when he describes how a nun beat him "with her weapon of choice - a rung from a baby's cot, with piping and light blue paint on it".

Explaining how he became an alcoholic, Jimmy says: "If you ask anyone who's a heavy drinker, they'll tell you that you don't dream in a drunken sleep.

"You don't have nightmares. You don't have flashbacks. It numbs you. Keeps all that stuff away. Until the point it's going to kill you. Which it nearly did to me."

He describes spending "three years behind a locked door in my own house".

"I hadn't bathed or shaved. I think the last three months I spent in the same bathrobe."

He began to recover after he went into hospital.

But his older brother, Victor, "drank himself to death".

Jimmy becomes particularly emotional when he talks about how Victor was "so much changed" by what happened in Rubane House.

"We were always close. But those years took it out of us."

As an adult, Victor "couldn't discuss it - he probably didn't think there was any help for him".

Jimmy regrets deeply that Victor hasn't lived to hear the state apology.

Lyrics.

Hello little mongrel
Come on in
This is just the place
To cure you of your sin

We'll beat you black and blue
With whatever comes to hand
You'll learn to obey
All of our demands

I drink to hide the flashbacks
I drink to numb my mind
Therapy's no good for me
I'm afraid what I will find

You took me and my brothers
Took us down to hell
We never had a smile or love
Became an empty shell

I can't believe in afterlife
I wish I could at times
They'd throw you in the darkest place
To pay for all your crimes

I drink to hide the flashbacks
I drink to numb my mind
Therapy's no good for me
I'm afraid what I will find

You got away with everything
Now you're not here to find
The children trusted to your care
You left broken and maligned

Suffer The Little Children

My Whiskey Girl

Check out my live performance of this song here: https://youtu.be/UrxER-yfKqE

Babe, wake up it's a beautiful day
Feel the sun bring a smile to your face
I've been alone for so long
Can't get a hold of you
Screaming but nobody's home
Calling but I'm getting nothing from you
time made us older still fight like a soldier I'm not giving up on the truth
I'm getting nothing from you
Head full of dreams we'll have all that we need I am not gonna stop until we do
wasn't thunder was a bomb just a bomb there's
No time to wonder what went wrong it went wrong move on, move on, move on move on
That wasn't thunder just a bomb just a bomb baby
No time to wonder what went wrong it went wrong move on, move on, move on move on
Babe, wake up it's a beautiful day
Feel the sun bring a smile to your face
I've been alone for so long
Can't get a hold of you
Screaming but nobody's home
Calling but I'm getting nothing from you
time made us older still fight like a soldier I'm not giving up on the truth
I'm getting nothing from you
Head full of dreams we'll have all that we need I am not gonna stop until we do
Babe, wake up it's a beautiful day
Feel the sun put a smile on your face
I've been alone so long
Can't get a hold of you
Screaming but nobody's home
Calling but I'm getting nothing from you
time made us older still fight like a soldier I'm not giving up on the truth
I'm getting nothing from you
Head full of dreams we'll have all that we need I am not gonna stop until we do
Not gonna stop until we do
Not giving up on the truth
Not gonna give up on you
Not giving up on the truth never give up on you
Original 3/3 chord progression written by Dave Ferrairo
Mike Molino vocals, piano, drums, bass, guitar, synth, lyrics 
Mike: Dave sent me this 3/3 chord progression that he came up with on acoustic guitar. I had it in my playlist for about a year. One day while sitting in my car waiting for my daughter to come out of Lacrosse practice it came on and I started singing "Calling but I'm getting nothing from you". I went home and played it on the piano. Had to add the D G C part at the end of the chorus to fit the vocal melody. And if you want to really get musician nerdy I had to go to the F# a measure early for "I've been alone for so long" for it to land on "long". I didn't want it to stay slow throughout the entire song so I added the 4/4 part after the first chorus "wasn't thunder was a bomb...." and that brought me back to the verse but more up tempo and still 4/4. I had to cut that off to get back to 3/3 chorus so I created "screaming but nobody's home" which allowed me to stop making it easy to pick up with the 3/3 chorus
Mastered by Woods Studio Free Mixing and Mastering. Check them out here on Soundcloud - @woods_studio

Calling

These are difficult times (aren't they always).  We all depend on someone; the solidity in our lives.   ...if we don't, it's a sad life, because it's a tough life and we need all of the help we can get.  This is a song about those you depend on.

I LOOK FOR YOU
(c) JunkHeap Apr 06 2022

Sometimes the days wear me down.  
I'm looking outside,
see my reflection in the window.
Furrowed brow and worrying  
etching its lines.
   
The world it turns and burns,
seems like it'll always be this way.
Hope shines bright through the clouds, 
as we wish for a better day.

I look for you.
I see your face in the crowd. 
Her eyes call to me, 
and we meet and 
hold each other so close. 
I feel your warmth.
See the throngs of people
moving like a wake around us;
in the ordered chaos, 
we save each other from it all.

ch. / break

My pillar of sanity, is you.
I look for you 
to whittle away the time 
on this insane ride.
Laughter and I get you.
We're past the pleasantries.
So many great days behind,
so many ahead.
So many great days ahead.

I look for you.

I Look For You

Paul, Mark & Mike -
https://gate.sc/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fpauljanszen.bandcamp.com%2F&token=394740-1-1652125374959
https://soundcloud.com/pau-14
https://soundcloud.com/user-102126447

Half Blind Lucy - " Occupy Our Souls "

I opened one of my poetry anthologies randomly and stumbled on this short, heartfelt verse by Anne Brontë. I kept the singing quite simplistic as it seemed more important to sing/read it accurately than with any stylistic flare, and Andy accompanied me, and did all the technical stuff. We hope you enjoy our rendition of it.

“My soul is awakened, my spirit is soaring
And carried aloft on the wings of the breeze;
For above and around me the wild wind is roaring,
Arousing to rapture the earth and the seas.
The long withered grass in the sunshine is glancing,
The bare trees are tossing their branches on high;
The dead leaves, beneath them, are merrily dancing,
The white clouds are scudding across the blue sky.
I wish I could see how the ocean is lashing
The foam of its billows to whirlwinds of spray;
I wish I could see how its proud waves are dashing,
And hear the wild roar of their thunder today!”

Lines Composed in a Wood on a Windy Day (Anne Brontë)

Twelve Is The New Six

Dance Station EM - Music by REKHA - IYERN [Fe] | Live Synth Instrumental through an amp right off of my studio floor! Check out A Royal Affair if you enjoyed this one as it's a part of my upcoming electronic album soon to be released! A Royal Affair: https://soundcloud.com/rekha-iyern-fe/a-royal-affair-by-rekha-iyern-fe-live-synth-instrumental

I just can't seem to get enough of the great EM! You know, Elon Musk! I think he's swayin' along with Lady Grimes way high above, amongst the shining stars, in this spacey-futuristic-floating-dance-chamber known as Dance Station EM. The music plays on, the colourful cocktails buzz-em up and of course, the romantic laser lights through the misty haze mesmerize in this crowded futuristic club room setting. I just wanna be here but can't get there without the help of EM's Starship Rocket Mobile! Please take me there Elon so I may have a dance with y-o-u!

Hope you will sway the night away to the rich magna sounds of the Arturia machine! XOXOXO-REKHA

YT Vid: https://youtu.be/WTB-JIt8r0s

Cover Art Design - Photo and Graphics by REKHA - IYERN [Fe]

Dance Station: Composed and Produced, Recorded and Performed, Mixed and Mastered by REKHA - IYERN [Fe] at IYERN [Fe] RECORDS in CANADA

Dance Station EM by REKHA - IYERN [Fe] - M1 2.0 Db

Dance Station EM

YouTube

Dance Station EM by REKHA - IYERN [Fe] | Live Synth Instrumental | Improv Jam | ElectroSpacePop | YT

My white swan

The most beautiful journeys
on the most beautiful shores
out of sight
you stole them for me

the sweetest of faces 
and facade smiles 
to hide the ravagers
of a brutal childhood

i think of you 
whaterver the weather is 
i dream of you 
just like before 
My white swan 

All that remains from you 
are those old pictures 
of an unfailing friendship
but i haven't turned the page

i think you 
whatever the weather is 
i dream of you 
just like chasing the wind
we were like kings 
we were like beggars
my brother in blood 
my white swan 

Far away , i keep far away 
from those who called you « the black swan »
far away , from envious and means 
who understood nothing 
who just couldn 't even … see 

i think of you 
whaterver the weather is 
i dream of you 
just like before 
i look for you sometimes
in the corners of time 
my brother in blood 
my white swan

Mon Cygne Blanc (translated lyrics in description)

Don't miss the video: https://youtu.be/2UHmsC965Vw

Para Lia
No Time For Butterflies
Album: Gone With The Flow
Image: from the video by Stelios Trichandiris / Angels PR / Athens / Greece

paralia.bandcamp.com/album/gone-with-the-flow
Vinyl / CD / Digital

What's the story behind this song and the album as a unit? Find it out: Visit the 3D virtual art exhibition, realized by SophisticatedApe, with the great work of Louis Renzoni and the music of Para Lia with a lot of background information here:
https://www.sophisticatedape.com/gone-with-the-flow-exhibition/
It is like an interactive visit in a gallery: Use your mouse and the left button to walk around, use the arrow keys on your keyboard or the W-A-S-D keys (forward, left, back, right, respectively). On mobile devices, touch and drag in the direction you would like to move.

words and music by René Methner
mix and production: René Methner
mastering: Thomas Heimann-Trosien, TurnstyleMastering, Berlin

Follow Para Lia on:
www.facebook.com/paraliamusic/
www.instagram.com/paralia.music/
twitter.com/para_lia_band

cold shivers have bitten the flowers in the garden's mind
and the fever trees try to lighten the hall of the blind
the blind faith in progress decided on how the world runs
and sooner or later the killing of eden is done
 
it's no time for butterflies
when the whore of babylon is on the way to the sky
no time for butterflies
anymore

the trees are sending s.o.s. from the roots into the crown
and the creation's crown explains it was all the time the same, an up and down
but this time maybe it's a little bit different
when the sea breathes plastic we're close to the start of the bitter end

it's no time for butterflies
when the whore of babylon is on the way to the sky
no time for butterflies
anymore

My Whiskey Girl

Side Hustle Prophets