Lyrics assisted by chat gpt
Made with looper on bandlab
Sadboy rap

(Mini talking)
Yeah I’m sick of this pain, sick of this brain
Been running from myself but I ain’t fast enough

(Verse 1)
Ash on my jeans, blood on the blade
Been crying since 2006, crying my heart out everyday since then

(Verse 2)
Like I said, I’ve been running from myself but I ain’t fast enough
Tired of the lies, tired of the drugs, tired of the pain

(Verse 3)
Tired of this shit, I haven’t slept in days
Creeping like a maze, dark soul been stuck in this pain

(Verse 4)
Tired of the pain, tired of the hurt, tired of this shit
It hurts a lot, a lot — it burns and it burns

(Verse 5)
Yeah screaming and crying, ash on my jeans, blood in the mud
That’s where my heart is

(Verse 6)
Crying everyday, it sucks but what are you gonna do
Ash in the cup, blood in the wine — the best combo

(Verse 7)
Been crying at myself, I hate myself
I hate everything about myself, it sucks

(Verse 8)
Yeah I’ve been running from myself but I ain’t fast enough
Tired of the drugs, tired of the pain, tired of the fame

(Verse 9)
I just want it to end, end, end
Crying in my room, that’s all I do
Cry on the couch, I hate this shit

(Verse 10)
Don’t understand what this means
Don’t understand the hurt, the pain, the agony

(Verse 11)
I just don’t understand
Why do I have to get treated like shit
Just why, why, why

(Verse 12)
Crying and crying, that’s all I ever know
Blood in the wine, ash in my cup
I just wanna be put down like an old dog

(Verse 13)
Lucky verse 13, give me some grace
I just want fame so I can prove everyone wrong
And live a better life

(Verse 14)

Yeah I need a safe place
Ash on my jeans, blood in my cup, mix it up
So tired of this shit

(Verse 15)
Yeah hating this pain, crying in the dark
Crying my lungs out, that’s all I can do

(Verse 16)
Nothing but a crying machine
That’s all I’m programmed to do
Just cry

(Verse 17)
Yeah when will it end, I hope it’s soon
Soon, not next week, not next moon
I hope it ends like now? Please?

Tiredofthepain.m4a

Lyrics assisted by chat gpt
Made with looper on bandlab
Sadboy love racer rap

(Verse 1)
Yeah, Gran Turismo type beat
I love you, I love you, I love you — you’re the best, the best,
Every turn I take, I see your name up in my dash

(Verse 2)
I thought I had no hope, couldn’t cope
Agony burnin’, anxiety makin’ my racer’s blood boil
Now you the only one that cools the oil

(Verse 3)
Speedin’ through the hood in the ’87 coupe Audi
With the love of my life ridin’ shotgun beside me
Turbo spools singin’ like our hearts in harmony

(Verse 4)
Press start — we start this journey of love
Every lap’s another promise I’ll never give up
Till the end of time, girl, you my reason to clutch

(Verse 5)
Ash on my jeans, thought I’d never find love
But somehow I did, I’m still starin’ above
Tryna figure how the pain turned into us

(Verse 6)
Remember — I’ll always love you
Forever and always, my muse
Feelin’ like a player stuck in a dream that came true

(Verse 7)
Yeah, I feel like I’m in a video game
I love you — you ain’t like the “toe of satin”
You showed me what real love is, no actin’

Speedin

Lyrics assisted by chat gpt
Made with looper on bandlab
Sadboy rap

Mini Talking / Intro:
Yeah… pack of the 100s please
I need the rush
This is the real me now, no filter

Verse 1
All fucking ready, my 100th song
Ash on my jeans, blood in the red solo
Been doing that since 2006
Pain too real, I just want it to end, end, end

Verse 2
I hate this pain, it’s too real
Feeling a little wavy, everything hazy
Yeah I’m dizzy, fall to the ground
High as a kite while I write up. rap, engineer

Verse 3
Yeah that’s me, the real Ashmøde
Crying on the couch, thought I was the best
But my emotions are coming back
I f e e l the pain, it hurts, it hurts

Verse 4
My other personality died
Now it’s the new me, raw, unfiltered
Smoking that Marlboro red, no menthol
Want full-on cancer, want this pain to end

Verse 5
Yeah I’m spilling the tea
Letting the cat outta the bag
It’s my secrets, only I know
Crying and screaming, face in my palms

Verse 6
Yeah it’s a lot, it burns, burns, burns
Ash on my jeans, blood-curdling screams
Been crying since 2006
The nerdy boy you all know and love…

Verse 7
Dealing with pain, gut-wrenching
Feel like I’m gonna throw up
Yeah this shit’s too real
What the fuck is wrong with 2025?

Verse 8
Yeah, I feel it creeping in
Every heartbeat, every vein
Emotions back, rage untamed
The new Ashmøde, can’t be chained

Verse 9
Falling through my own mind
Dark thoughts I can’t unwind
Pain turns to power in my hands
Pack of 100s, I make my stand

Verse 10
Ash on my jeans, blood in the seams
Every scream, every tear, it redeems
100 tracks deep, but this is phase one
The evolution, the rebirth has begun

Verse 11/ Mini Talking
Yeah… this is me now, no holding back
Pack of 100s, feel the rush, feel the attack
Pain gave me power, emotions alive
New Ashmøde energy, 100 songs, I survive

Verse 12
Yeah, what the fuck is wrong with this year?
I lost two of my best friends, I lost my job.
Life really, really sucks.

Verse 13
Lucky verse 13, give me some grace.
I don’t want this misery anymore—
it’s too much, it’s a cloud over my head.

Verse 14
I just don’t get it.
It burns and hurts, it’s the real deal,
I just want it to stop.

Verse 15
I don’t wanna be dead; I just want things to get better.
It hurts.
I’m crying as I’m writing this song.

Verse 16
Thinking about all the bad and the hurt,
thinking, thinking, thinking—
ADHD mind doesn’t help.

Verse 17
Yeah, ash on my jeans, the pain too real.
Crying in my sleep, crying when I get up.
I never stop.

Verse 18
I’m grateful for getting my emotions back,
but it just hurts a lot—
crying in the dark.

Verse 19
Welcome to verse 19.
Born in the years of 2006, only 19,
been making beats since 9,
rapping since 13, on and off.

Verse 20
Verse 20 like the year 2020—
that year was crazy and depressing.
Tried ending it all that year.

Verse 21
Yeah, I’ve been at the edge, felt it too much.
Pressure in my chest, it’s just too much.
Ash on my jeans, blood on the solo cup,
memories heavy, can’t light ’em up.

Verse 22
Yeah this pain too real, it burns and it burns.
Crying in the dark, still trying to learn
what it’s like to breathe when the night gets tight,
what it’s like to live when nothing feels right.

Verse 23
Yeah it hurts and it hurts, I’m worn out bad.
Lil boy like me only got what I had.
Still standing in the storm, still holding the flame,
every scar on my soul just spelling my name.

Verse 24
Ash on my jeans, blood in the cup,
growing up rough, never gave up.
Since a kid I been lost in my mind,
but I turn that pain into every line.

Verse 25
Yeah I’m in so much pain, can’t fake this smile.
Why’s life testing me mile after mile?
But I’m still here, still breathing the same,
’cause this hurt built the heart behind my name.

Verse 26
Yeah, shit’s getting bad, but it’s just life.
Glad I got my emotions back, I’m rising from the dead.

Verse 27
I was literally gone for a week, came back to life.
Still burns though—fire in my chest, knife in my side.

Verse 28
Yeah, this shit burns, it burns,
but I’m still living, still learning,
trying to stick around and fight the turning.

Verse 29
Yeah, almost at the end—fucking finally.
It’s been too long; I just want my pack of 100s.

Verse 30 / Outro
Fifteen ninety-nine? Here’s a twenty, keep the change.
And remember… ash on my jeans.

Packof100splease

Lyrics assisted by chat gpt
Made with looper on bandlab
Sadboy rap

(Verse 1)
Keep off the dope smoke, then I know,
Whippin’ this hoe, that’s an S4 roll.
Ash in my lungs, yeah, I’m movin’ too cold,
Feelin’ too numb, but I’ll never fold.

(Verse 2)
I don’t know, I just gotta go,
Stuck in this loop, yeah, pain I can’t show.
Every damn day I be losin’ control,
Hate how it feels when I’m sinkin’ this low.

(Verse 3)
I just don’t get it — ash on my jeans,
Blood in the seams, been lost since my teens.
Back in ’06 when I learned what it means,
To break every mirror and silence my screams.

(Verse 4)
Yeah, cryin’ the pain out, ash in my coat,
Recordin’ my life in these .m4a notes.
Been droppin’ my soul since 2019,
Tryna make sense of the pain I’ve seen.

(Verse 5)
Yeah, I just don’t know, I just don’t get it,
Ash in the cup, blood on my digits.
Hurt in my chest and I’m tryna forget it,
Talkin’ to ghosts, they the only ones who’ll listen.

(Verse 6)
Yeah, This shit just sucks,
Lil boy like me can only take so much.
Feelin’ that sting in my bones and my blood,
Drippin’ my thoughts in the puddles of mud.

(Verse 7)
Cryin’ and cryin’, that’s all that I know,
In 2025 I’m learnin’ to grow.
Regulatin’ emotions, yeah, slow and low,
But the pain still hums in the undertow.

(Verse 8)
Sick of the pain, sick of the shit,
Sick of the hurt, sick of the hits.
Sick of the fact that I don’t know jack,
Tryna move forward but I keep lookin’ back.

(Verse 9)
Yeah, it burns and it burns, I twist and I turn,
Lessons of life that I still gotta learn.
Feel like an anomaly lost in the flame,
Same old cycle, just a different name.

(Verse 10)
Everything’s bendin’, I’m losin’ my shape,
In this pain there’s no escape.
It’s just me, and only me,
Like I’m the 1nonly — that’s my fate.

(Verse 11)
Lost in the static, I fade in the sound,
Voices in echoes, they drag me down.
Stare at the ceiling, I’m lost in the round,
Feelin’ like life just spun me around.

(Verse 12)
Ash on my jeans, blood in my soul,
Love turn to pain, that’s all I know.
Chasin’ a dream that’s takin’ a toll,
Broke every promise I made to my goals.

(Verse 13)
Yeah, I been livin’ this loop for a minute,
Prayin’ to stop but I’m stuck within it.
Feelin’ like time got a curse, and I’m in it,
Every damn second got pain infinite.

(Verse 14)
Heart been cracked like a phone screen glare,
Tryna move on but I still care.
Look in the mirror, no one there,
Just a ghost with an empty stare.

(Verse 15)
Ash in my lungs, I breathe that hurt,
Tryna make sense of the pain, but it don’t work.
2025 and I’m still on alert,
Still that same boy draggin’ through the dirt.

idontknow.m4a

Lyrics assisted by chat gpt
Made with looper on bandlab
Sadboy rap

(Mini talking)
Ash on my jeans…
I hate what I see in the mirror.

(Verse 1)
Yeah I’m disgusted at myself, I hate myself,
I hate everything about myself.

(Verse 2)
I’m ugly — an anomaly, tainted this planet
The day I was born back in two-zero-zero-six.

(Verse 3)
Yeah, I hate myself, I just wish I was somebody else,
I hate being me — can’t escape this shell.

(Verse 4)
Yeah this shit burns, it hurttttttssss,
I can’t take the pain, I’m burning and burning.

(Verse 5)
Yeah I just don’t get it, why do I hate myself?
I’ve not been acting like myself at all.

(Verse 6)
I cut and I cut, ‘til blood —
I hate my skin, wanna saw it all away.

(Verse 7)
Yeah I hate this life, this pain, this agony, this brain,
It’s stupid — I fucking HATE IT.

(Verse 8)
Yeah I’m disgusted at myself, ash on my jeans,
Blood in the liquor — can’t wash these scenes.

(Verse 9)
Hating this pain, hating this brain, that’s all I know,
All I know is pain and agony at this point.

(Verse 10)
Yeah I’m too done, crying and crying,
That’s all I know, that’s all I know.

(Verse 11)
Yeah I’m disgusted at myself, not making the best choices in twenty-twenty-five,
I swear I’m tryna grow, but the mirror say I lied.

(Verse 12)
I’m nothing but sin, I hate the “man” in the mirror,
The more I stare, the more he gets clearer.

(Verse 13)
I’m disgusted and disappointed, hate myself so much,
It’s not even funny — I’m losing my touch.

(Verse 14)
Yeah ash on my jeans, I hate myself too much,
Crying and crying, that’s all I ever know.

(Verse 15)
Hating this pain, this brain, I’m so outta touch,
When will it end? I hope it’s soon…

Disgust

(Verse 1)
I don’t know how it happened, it just hit me without warnin’
I fell in love with the one perfect soul I keep adorin’
I didn’t chase it or force it, it just bloomed in the moment
I feel my heartbeat switch every time that you show it

(Verse 2)
I don’t get it but I’m in it, and I’m speakin’ what I’m feelin’
I turn emotion into rhythm ’cause this love just keep on buildin’
I never thought I’d talk like this, but you got my guard fallin’
I feel the universe align every time that you’re callin’

(Verse 3)
I love you — yeah, I said it — you the best of twenty-twenty-five
I swear you put a new kind of fire deep inside
I look at you and everything around me come alive
I found a purpose in your presence I could keep could never deny

(Verse 4)
I feel the love gettin’ heavy, runnin’ straight through my veins
I feel it hittin’ like adrenaline, stronger than the pain
I wanna carry every ounce, never drop it, never change
I found comfort in a weight that I’ll never rearrange

(Verse 5)
I used to carve at the wrists, used to fill up the cup
I used to think coexistin’ with the world wasn’t enough
I look at all those memories now like they stuck in the past
I know you came into my life just to lift me up fast

(Verse 6)
I didn’t have strength before you, now I’m fueled off love
I feel momentum in my chest, like it’s sent from above
I spend every damn second livin’ what I used to dream of
I found calm inside the chaos that I always ran from

(Verse 7)
I love you dearly, sincerely — you the best, that’s a fact
I don’t see you like the others, you don’t blend with the pack
I see somethin’ in your soul that the rest of ’em lack
I feel safe in your presence, never lookin’ back

(Verse 8)
I don’t understand how I got lucky meetin’ you first place
I swear you turn the darkest days into a brighter space
I think about the odds of our paths even crossin’
I hold tight to you ’cause I’m scared of what I’d be losin’

(Verse 9)
I understand I love you, and you love me too
I feel balanced in this life when I’m holdin’ onto you
I know you keep me steady when the world turns blue
I see a home in your heart I never thought I’d run into

(Verse 10)
I keep lovin’, lovin’, lovin’ you — nonstop
I don’t know how to quit when you make the pain drop
I stay locked on you like my pulse won’t stop
I love you ’cause you’re the best thing that I got

loml2025mix

AshMøde

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