sick playlist

i wanna slam my head against the wall

youre so obsessed with me, arent you?

wake up
and my phones dead
i got 3 missed calls in my own head
youre going crazy 
she told me maybe 
you would only understand if it were lately x3

and you would call me crazy for not wanting to talk about me
i havent cared too much, the only thing that matters is the port hanging out my mouth
and youve kept me runnin 
wondering will i ever find my peace
what are those words ur mumblin 
but wait u cant say it cuz ur stumbling

wake up
and my phones dead
i got 3 missed calls in my own head
youre going crazy 
she told me maybe 
you would only understand if it were lately x2

ur outta my mind
u shove ur words into my mouth

wake up
and my phones dead
i got 3 missed calls in my own head
youre going crazy 
she told me maybe 
you would only understand if it were lately x2

crazy (yungspoiler)

shoutout neostalgic for the loop
very nice song that means a lot to me
hope it will to you too <3

lyrics :)
i'm a protector
so i'ma protect her
situation fucking crazy
it's making my head hurt

look at this the right way
you don't wanna get hurt
you've already settled down
you ain't tryna get hurt

think about it clearly, feelings over near me
devil on my shoulder so i know that you don't fear me
if you cry i cry like can you hear me
i need you alive, mean it sincerely

hate me, free your heart of aching
let me look i'll face it
let your demons take me
oh maybe

from the moment i saw you
i knew it was something else
something i couldn't have
but something i was sure as hell
protecting at all costs on my life
and maybe it's wrong, but i'm alright

and we're alright
we'll be just fine
know we're alright
we'll be just fine

protector

spotify :D

Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KolZJ7TPfFY
ss03
prod me
song with @1glaive : _)
lyrics:
---what was the last thing you said?
i took like over a year to get you out my head
and now i can’t sleep 
thinking bout everything and all the things we did
and i don’t think i miss you
i don’t miss the shit that we been through
but now i’m stuck with this
try not to reminisce 
or i think i’ll start to miss you

i don’t know how to explain it
a year of racking my brain and i hated it 
it’s like i’m holding onto something that you never did
it’s like i’ll never have something just like we did
it’s like i’ll never hold hands with someone again
it’s like i’ll never introduce them to my friends
i guess it’s the end 

just fucking look at you 
you moved on so fast like did you want me in the first place 
i wish you the best but only mean that in the worse way 
took you only a month to act like everything
was ok
you fell right in love with him like i was just a half-way
now i’m all on my own need someone to talk to
my friends all abandoned me cause they’d rather choose you 
this shit is so draining need to do something brand new
i get tossed up and used then thrown away like some old shoes
like fucking look at you 
i think that you’re right i’m not the person that i used to be
i can’t even hide that fact that this was all because of me
i made my mistakes i let my head get straight to jealousy 
all cause i thought i'd be the only one u  ever see
but you have to remind me 
you have to remind me
cause i know you said something
something with meaning
it was as i was leaving i could’ve been dreaming
you have to remind me remind me of one thing

what was the last thing you said?
i swear i didn’t mean to leave you on read
but now it’s morning
everyone’s sleeping 
and i can’t decide if i should get out of bed
like i don’t wanna miss you 
i don’t miss the shit that we been through 
but now i’m stuck with this 
try not to reminisce or i think i’ll start to miss you
it seems like everyday i look at the pictures
a couple years of my life in a camera roll 
i’m thinking maybe i really miss it
reliving memories as i start to scroll
it feels like lately i’ve been stuck and i can’t reach my goals 
and i can’t get myself out ive been stuck in a hole
i’m really starting to believe it’s the end

GLAIVE:
dude that this point it doesn’t even matter like fuck

every time they talk about us they say we went hollywood but 
if there ever was a spot to take i think they probably would cause 
every single zoloft that i take don’t do me any good but 
black hair black nails she thinks she’s misunderstood but
she don’t know me like she think she does
and i’ll be lying if said i gave a single fuck
and then you push me down and then you pick me up i’m like
one fight away from getting tired and giving up

just fucking look at you 
you moved on so fast like did you want me in the first place 
i wish you the best but only mean that in the worse way 
took you only a month to act like everything
was ok
you fell right in love with him like i was just a half-way
now i’m all on my own need someone to talk to
my friends all abandoned me cause they’d rather choose you 
this shit is so draining need to do something brand new
but after all that was said i don’t regret that i knew you

what was the last thing u said w/ glaive

i'm alright

[prod : me]
[mastered by : @threedimensionsapart]

[text]
feelings crawl, thru my skin
and there's blood all on my fist
i feel so alone i really hate it
and i just wake up feeling sick
i cant change the way i feel
i can't feel i cant feel no
it doesn't matter anyway
i cant see my face
and i cant do this by myself
yea im too scared, and know u wont help
and i hadda get up cause it hurt when i fell

i don't know what happened
to us, and our love

i woke up on the ground
i sit up, stand up, brush myself off then i look around
it's the simplicity of nature i recently found
the beauty dancing in the leaves i forget to breath out
inhale the air into ur chest and then let out a sound
it doesn't matter if it's quiet or it's really loud
just gotta know that ur living
take a second and feel it
[e]motional healing
my heart is still bleeding, ugh
and i still face it
i wake up everyday i hate it
i cant think at all, i feel brainless
im new to bleeding but it's painless
dont remember what i look like, i must be faceless
dont know who i am, i feel nameless
i found my love, i found my oasis
ugh damn ah
i feel amazing

i don't know what happened
to us, and our love
i don't know what happened
to us, and our love

and ive been stuck in my ways
i cant get up i hope the feeling randomly goes away
and it replays in my brain every time that i think of u
idk what say
and im sorry for everything ive done
i feel so useless, feel so dumb
and i dont know u anymore
at least not well
and idc u can go to hell

and idc u can leave me now
they dont wanna see me win they wanna keep me down
i swear that no one can stop me they better keep me out
cause when im in im finna go
i keep on dropping bangers like damn, im dropping gold
it's [@co-opp] wit no opps so ima keep on upping polls
and we gon be good i put that on my soul
oh

[. -- --- - .. --- -. / .- -. -.. / - .... --- ..- --. .... - .-.-.- / .. -- / -... . --. .. -. -. .. -. --. / - --- / ..- -. -.. . .-. ... - .- -. -.. / ... ..- -.-. .... / ..-. . . .-.. .. -. --. ... .-.-.-]

oasis

spotify

detest me

happy ever after

i know y'all was waiting for this one

lyrics
oh i wish you'd stop and talk to me
how i wish you gone, and walk away
oh i wish you'd stop and talk to me
oh i wish you'd stop and walk with me

oh where'd you go
i wanna know
don't leave me stranded
leave me cold
soul to be sold
soul to be sold

let me know
it's getting old
who have we told
i don't know
under control
under control

we don't need a reason
you part of the reason
that i can't feel it anymore

body on the floor
there's blood on the floor
and you at my door
something can't ignore

oh i wish you'd stop and talk to me
how i wish you gone, and walk away
oh i wish you'd stop and talk to me
oh i wish you'd stop and walk with me

oh where'd you go
i wanna know
don't leave me stranded
leave me cold
soul to be sold
soul to be sold

let me know
it's getting old
who have we told
i don't know
under control
under control

walk away
ion wanna talk today
i can't do this everyday
ion wanna go insane

ion wanna go insane
but the second that you talk to me
is the second that i entertain
is the second that i entertain

UNDER CONTROL

prod by 
@fortuneswan
@thefthproject
notes:// (＾• ω •＾)
i don have much to say 
im vv nervous
big thank to every1 for da support <3
lyrics:
yeah u look so pretty in dat dress 
but i'd look better 
gave u everything i ever had
even my sweater 
mood is always shitty 
like north carolina weather
u say dat u better than my ex
but have you met her?

so

there's this girl named astrid
never knows what's happening
she does whatever all her friends 
wanna do that's without asking
i really don't wanna grow up to be alone
in a mansion
n her friends don't really like her
omg i can't imagine

there's this girl named astrid
never knows what's happening
she does whatever all her friends 
wanna do that's without asking
i really don't wanna grow up to be alone
in a mansion
n her friends don't really like her
omg i can't imagine

tell me "do u reminisce about me or the past"
i was stuck inside my head
should b stuck inside my bag
n u saying all this shit abt
call me this n that
n everything that works for me 
never seems to last

oh
my 
goodness gracious
i've never been good at 
all the cheap flirtations
i feel like a puppet 
controlled animations
i've never been good at
holding conversations

there's this girl named astrid
never knows what's happening
she does whatever all her friends 
wanna do that's without asking
i really don't wanna grow up to be alone
in a mansion
n her friends don't really like her
omg i can't imagine

cypress grove

astrid

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LEenwFT8JJs&feature=youtu.be
here is da vid
notes:// ୧(⇀‸↼‶)૭
i was actually not even angry i was just upset lol
i have no clue what to make the cover art
so i made it my fav orangutan
thx for 10k on spotify n almost 4k on here love love :)

pissed

produced by bossman @whethan
performed by yours truly 
lyrics:

i dont wanna be here 
i want to hide away
n im not even nervous 
i could die today
or like i could dissapear 
wont happen either way
n theres this girl named astrid 
with a time n date :(

so i hold my breath
until my lungs collapse
n i bleach my teeth
so i can smile n laugh
and shes like artemis 
with arsenic inside of her bag
n hes a narcissist   
but part of him really miss his past

so i hold my breath
until my lungs collapse
n i bleach my teeth
so i can smile n laugh
and shes like artemis 
with arsenic inside of her bag
n hes a narcissist   
but part of him really miss his past

theres this rich, white girl
that works inside a department store
i guess that she aint rich no more
her mom and dad got a divorce
she say thats shes fine
she sits alone and cries to paramore
and if im being honest with the process 
i dont care no more

n the trees dont grow
where the sun low
let me tell u a lil story
abt where we dont go

n theres this forest on the east side
where all the evil beasts lie
n i dont cannot deny
that my brain buzzing like a beehive
to move out to the sea side
omg it must be nice
n i met this girl named persephone 
i think shell be mine

so i hold my breath
until my lungs collapse
n i bleach my teeth
so i can smile n laugh
and shes like artemis 
with arsenic inside of her bag
n hes a narcissist   
but part of him really miss his past

so i hold my breath
until my lungs collapse
n i bleach my teeth
so i can smile n laugh
and shes like artemis 
with arsenic inside of her bag
n hes a narcissist   
but part of him really miss his past

arsenic

tbh i dont like being social

prod RECYCLEBIN x RIACHUELO
cool swag song means a lot to me
lyrics:
dont feel like its worth it
im fully imperfect
im learning new ways
behind closed curtains
im putting the work in
no recognition
nothing im earning
an angel a serpent
im falling to pieces 
im truthfully hurtin
these bridges im burning
the tables are turnin
i feel new to this
i have been through it
I smile with bliss
inevitably endin
ex said i been a dick
i smile again
turn to new beginning
you tried
you failed
ruined it
i dont like to call em out
i didnt forget
im forgivin

know its better unsaid
i just hope that it ends
working all night
to make this shit
i feel so empty
like i should
i hope it comes out good
cause

i feel new to this
i have been through it
I smile with bliss
inevitably endin
ex said i been a dick
i smile n shit
turn to new beginning
you tried
you failed
ruined it
i dont like to call em out
i didnt forget
im forgivin

(endie moans off beat 4 some time)

i think that im worth it
i might not be perfect
but thats okay
everything gets better 
i been under the weather
i know its whatever

i feel new to this
i have been through it
I smile with bliss
inevitably endin
ex said i been a dick
i smile again
turn to new beginning
you tried
you failed
ruined it
i dont like to call em out
i didnt forget
im forgivin

bliss (recyclebin + ria)

eyesore

happy birthday 2 me <3 
all love to hallow
@avit69
@1hallow
cover taken by @coleslau
on spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/24Y6ZUvXsrLW9eIQUulaSn
[lyrics]
[verse]
she wish i was good at being something im not 
i waste all my time i think i wish it would stop 
she wake up at 10 and then she put on her makeup
and i still go to bed and hope that i never wake up
my ex just hit me up to tell me im still an asshole
im worried bout the future but im stuck on the past tho
im looking at my phone and i been talking for too long
and you thought that you knew me, you knew wrong.

[hook]
and i think its my insomnia
i could write a book on everything thats wrong with you
and i figured out that aint nobody solid uh
it started adding up i think that im the problem (x2)

[AViT]
can you, feel it
coursing through your veins just like its venom
toxic, posion, its keeping me alive but i feel dead inside
and everynight i stay up thinking how you fucked me up
and every toss and turn i do you haunt my every move
and i need you out my head
so i finally go to bed

[hook]

insomnia

insomnia w/ AViT (hallow)

video here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6lYduSMsNlo&lc=UgzZf3ZyR2kRHPR05cl4AaABAg
(rising action)
@1hallow
on spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/4F8FtOWSa286XpVEeB8pWm
[lyrics]
its 2 am girl r you up yet?
and she like boy you know fucked up we can nvr go back
now she move different acting suspect
and she think i could be her hero i can never be that


at all
cause i get stabbed in the back
i try my best to clear my head but i can never do that
at all
i cant go back to the past
and i dont wanna be the bad guy
but i think i might have to,
im stuck like a statue
you say i dont say i dont see you 
and yet im looking right at you
im done with the attitude
im not even mad at you
she say im her hero 
but i know she dont think thats true

take a step back
what does it look like from the outside?
and to be honest i dont wanna learn bout ur last guy
i try my best but i still end up on my last life

theres nvr gna be a right time

and u can blame me if u want but you know
that there wont ever be a next time
i take an uber take the next flight
i wont be nothing like your next guy

hero (hallow)

wowie this is pretty cool n so r u so enjoy:)

so bored i dont even wanna talk any longer
but this 1 damn girl i swear i was in luv w her

the way she looked at me when i walked away or
lil things that i said put a smile on her face &
all the times we had inside her basement
n i cant give it up cause all the days i spent

lookin for u
i dunno what to do
keep on tryna undo
the times u used me like a tool
n i keep on lookin back how am i such a fool

n like, i'm not tryna bore you
i'm just tryna find a way to
get my head outta space
find a way out of this place
erase all the shitty things that i did

i dont wanna even look u in the face
i been watchin time runnin round countin up my days
chillin, sittin back cause im j tryna keep my pace
heart is beatin deep in my chest n its probably because 

the way she looked at me when i walked away or
lil things that i said put a smile on her face &
all the times we had inside her basement
n i cant give it up cause all the days i spent

lookin for u
i dunno what to do
keep on tryna undo
the times u used me like a tool
n i keep on lookin back how am i such a fool

give up

I feel like a freak (p.prodswitch + gualabeatz)

@1hallow
on spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/5lWotd0NtRkHnjuMIfA8Ip?si=7fa21e8f52004e58
[lyrics]
(hook)
and i tell them to listen 
but they never do
and i dont wanna sound like you
 im doing something new
she say im just like the rest
i said she way too obsessed
im thinking one more day and then ill be gone
and she like juno why you like that at all
and is it bad that i cant fight back at all
you cant get to the top if you aint ready to fall
you got my name in your phone, but you aint ready to call

(verse)
and im 10,000 miles away 
from the rest of the world its a shame now
and she told me that i was to blame
for the way of the world, how it is now
sick of the background, i lost it for a sec
but im back now
i told myself that id never back down
i went and got it for myself fuck a hand out
i grab the wheel it looks like im in command now

sick playlist

fe_ix