Name: Feels like Home - a Song by Edvina Hayes by Jens Gruen in My Highlanders and the Others
Duration: 4 min 8 s
Description: This is an old recording from 2016 - my 2nd Year of Parkinson Desease - made with love and my beloved Tanglewood Sundance Acc Pro 6 String made in UK

My Highlanders and the Others

Salam

Is This What You've Been Waiting For?

The Morning After (2006)
On a calm Sunday morning, I wrote the morning after. It is inspired by alternative rock but became some sort of ballad. I thought a lot about rerecording it with real instruments, but the melody is too weird on guitar. Therefore, it stays like this and will never be finished.

Nadine de Macedo: composition, arrangement, synthesizer, programming, production
Picture: Pixabay

This song is part of my b-side album "Electro Static"
https://too.fm/ndm-electro-static
https://nadinedemacedo.bandcamp.com/album/electro-static

Where to find us:
https://www.youtube.com/@nadinedemacedo
https://nadinedemacedo.bandcamp.com

Electro Static

The Morning After

A haunting exploration of memory, loss, and the eternal echo of love that transcends time. This atmospheric piece weaves together delicate piano melodies, sweeping strings, and intimate vocals to create a sonic landscape where grief transforms into gentle acceptance.

The song speaks to the universal experience of carrying someone's memory through simply speaking their name. It suggests that while time may separate us from those we've lost, their essence lives on in the very syllables we once spoke with love.

Inspired by a poem of Alexander Pushkin

Say my name in silence

450. bad moon rising (creedence clearwater revival).mp3

Shot You Down

This song was written to offer a sensory anchor and create a safe space for anyone moving through a dissociative state or an episode— and can download the song directly for free if you like.  💜🧡🤍
With a gentle, repetitive melody and a steady beat, it provides something tangible to latch onto.  It is meant to feel safe, familiar, and emotionally validating— is meant to help reconnect with themselves and their surroundings without becoming overwhelmed. The calming tempo helps to support natural breathing and heartbeat rhythms, reinforcing presence and inviting a gentle return back to the here and now.


💜🧡
Sunflowers

[Intro]
[vocal harmonies looped around the word barefoot]
I stand barefoot where the wind knows my secrets
and no one’s asking me to explain myself

[Verse 1]
I walk through rows of sunflowers
with my silence intact
they don’t talk
but they’re listening
I don’t have to say what’s on my mind
it’s okay to be quiet

[Chorus]
This is where I can breathe
where I let things go
the wind takes some of it with it
and I don’t have to be brave
It’s calm here
I can end and begin again

[Verse 2]
The soil breathes beneath my feet
tells me—stay you’re enough
even the sun dips down gently
I’ve learned that quiet is tough love
I’m just a small petal falling 
but even the small matter here
I let myself slow down
(and it feels good)

[Chorus]
This is where I can breathe
where I let things go
the wind takes some of it with it
and I don’t have to be brave
It’s calm here
I can end and begin again

[Bridge]
I could say something
but I don’t
the silence is already speaking for me

[Final Chorus]
This is where I come back to myself
where I let things go
the wind takes some of it with it
and I don’t need to pretend
I lose myself to find again
and there’s no need to confess
and here in the silence 
I finally feel at home

Sunflowers

I see a shadow when you smile
It lingers there
It stays awhile
Behind the mask
A secret's curled
A hidden map to your shattered world

Behind the mask
What do you hide
A stormy sea or a quiet tide
Is it fear
Is it fire
Is it fear
Is it fire
Is it pain inside
Behind the mask
Where do you confide

Behind the Mask .mp3

What is a man
Is it the strength in his hand
Or the way he takes a stand when no one understands
Is it the fire in his eyes
The thunder in his stride
Or the tears that he hides
Afraid to let them collide

It’s not the weight he can lift
It’s the love he can give

A man is courage
A man is heart
A man is knowing when to fall apart
A man is empathy
Not just what you see
A man is the fight to simply be free

What’s in a man .wav

🌙 A heartfelt J-Pop ballad about finding strength in solitude and growing up while holding onto dreams. Perfect for quiet Friday nights.

LYRICS:

放課後の坂道を　一人で歩く影
誰にも見えない　世界を背負いながら
ポケットにしまった　夢のかけらたち
まだうまく　言葉にできなくて

誰かに届くと信じながら
遠回りばかりしてた

月が照らす　ひとりぼっちの夜に
少年は　空を見上げて
泣きたい気持ち　飲み込んだままで
明日を　信じてた

擦り切れたスニーカーと　破れたノートの端
「大人になれ」と　誰かが言うけど
無邪気なままじゃ　傷ついてしまう
それでも　守りたい何かがあった

ひとつずつ手放してきたけど
本当は全部　抱きしめたかった

月が照らす　届かない祈りを
少年は　胸に隠して
叫びたいほど　苦しかった夜を
ひとりで　超えてきた

目に見えない光が　確かにそこにあった
それを信じる強さを　僕はあの頃から知ってた

月が照らす　未来（あす）へ続く道で
少年は　少し笑った
誰にも言えなかったあの日の涙も
いまでは　誇りなんだ

見上げた空に　変わらず浮かぶ月
あの日の僕が　まだそこにいる

---

(Lyrics in English)

A faint light spilled into the alley
I held my breath and chased after a shadow
Just a small, almost vanishing hope
Was all I had in my pocket

I told myself, “I’m okay,” like a charm
But each time, I lost a little more of who I was

The moon gently watches over
Even my clumsy dreams
Though I pretend to be fine
I just want someone to notice me
The boy who still believes
Even on nights he feels like disappearing

I keep smiling through it all
Even though tears press against the edges of my heart
There’s a truth I can’t show anyone
Hidden beneath my cheerful voice

I say, “I’m used to it,” like it’s no big deal
But really, I just don’t want to give up

The moon silently floats above
As if to say, “It’s okay to cry”
Even if I don’t shine like others
I want to be true to myself
The boy who keeps walking
Guided by a light only he can see

Even if I take the long way around
Even if I stumble again and again
If I can someday laugh with you
Then that alone is enough

The moon gently watches over
All the lonely nights I’ve known
Even if I’m still weak and uncertain
I’ll walk on
The boy who keeps his heart lit
By the quiet moon above

Boy Beneath the Moon

This is an old recording from 2016 - my 2nd Year of Parkinson Desease - made with love and my beloved Tanglewood Sundance Acc Pro 6 String made in UK

Feels like Home - a Song by Edvina Hayes

DNA

A twisted ladder
Double helix
Evolving code
Nucleotides kneaded
Invoke real prayer
Nurtured parent
Esoteric be aberrant

Great combinations
Universal bio
A clue in cells
Next new eye glow
Insidious to human view
Next history guess
Evolve our clue

Cryptic code
You spiral calculus
Twisting time
Organ rapturous
Scene is sold
Inject that real
Nile polymer
Effect our steel

Thor in there
Harmoia too
Young live love
Meet God like you
Inception of true spirit
Nether region of our mind
Evolve as DNA we find

DNA 🧬 (with a writing tip 🫡)

“Taking inspiration from a footnote of an Oliver Sacks book, lyrically this explores the phenomenon of musical hallucinations. As I was piecing the lyrics together I quickly realised that in this “a brain storm” is a metaphor for a misunderstood, long term condition with varying degrees of ever changing intensity; Hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome definitely inspired my lyric writing for this song (kindly follow the link to the HEDS society in my bio to learn more. Thank you). Leaning into the nostalgic live basement recording sounds of 1990’s alternative music there is definitely a Wheatus, Green Day, Third Eye Blind sound and it gets a little The Cure in places on this one. I also wanted the scrapbook sounds of “Save Rock and Roll” era Fall Out Boy. 

I revisited this as I wanted to cut a new vocal and when doing so I decided to explore a new mix - see what you think of this new version. Thank you.” 

mybrainstorm. 

I think I might be losing my mind
It’s definitely broken this time
Anxiety and fatigue, what’s happening to me? 
I’m losing my sleep
Brainstorming hallucination

This is my brainstorm
I’m feeling the downfall 
It’s taking, it wants it all 
(You give me the shakes) 
It pushes, it pulls me 
It knocks me then builds me 
Brainstorm hallucinations
I’m hearing ghosts and not seeing faces 
I’m hearing sounds in mysterious places 
My brainstorm 

I feel it call 
I’m hearing noises and there’s no one there at all
It’s so complicated, so bio-excavated 
Maybe I levitated to hell and back 
Brainstorm hallucination 

This is my brainstorm 
This is my brain 

© heart house and the new kindness. 2025

Written, performed, recorded, produced and mixed by heart house and the new kindness. 
Mastered by DOLBY

mybrainstorm. (new vocal + mix)

Here is part two of the recent song, "We'll Meet Again". the first meeting after their coming together by accident whilst travelling.

We'll Meet Again (part 2) - That Kiss

LA MIA STORIA



17 gennaio, novanta, era inverno profondo
un neonato in un mondo che correva già in tondo
crescere tra sogni e sberle, strade senza un domani
con gli occhi pieni di cielo e le tasche quasi vuote di piani

cadevo, mi rialzavo, imparavo col tempo
tra chi diceva "non ce la farà", io tenevo il mio tempo
una bici senza freni, la scuola, gli amici veri
ma anche notti a domandarmi se avrei fatto mai passi sinceri


Questa è la mia storia, non la puoi riscrivere tu
ho preso calci dalla vita ma ora cammino su
non chiedo più permesso per essere come sono
a trentacinque anni grido forte: "Io non mi vergogno!"
e se qualcuno guarda storto, che guardi pure
che io mi godo ogni cicatrice, ogni mia fottuta avventura


C’erano sogni bruciati, amori andati male
promesse vuote come bottiglie rotte in un locale
ma ho imparato a farmi scudo con le mani
a non cercare più approvazione tra gli umani

ho pianto per chi non meritava lacrime mie
dato troppo a chi aveva solo spine
ma adesso che mi guardo allo specchio, vedo fuoco negli occhi
sono quello che ha perso tanto, ma ha trovato se stesso nei blocchi


Questa è la mia storia, non la puoi riscrivere tu
ho preso calci dalla vita ma ora cammino su
non chiedo più permesso per essere come sono
a trentacinque anni grido forte: "Io non mi vergogno!"
e se qualcuno guarda storto, che guardi pure
che io mi godo ogni cicatrice, ogni mia fottuta avventura


E no, non sono perfetto – e chi lo è, davvero?
ma ho smesso di nascondermi dietro a uno specchio nero
ho imparato che la pace non è assenza di rumore
ma accettare ogni pezzo rotto e farne un cuore


Questa è la mia storia – e la canto per intero
con la voce graffiata, ma un’anima d’acciaio vero
se mi giudichi, buon per te, io ho smesso di ascoltare
la libertà l’ho trovata nel mio modo di cambiare

la mia storia.

northern alaska

Jens Christian Grün (Jens Gruen) - geb. 1965, in Ulm-Söflingen
Guitar, Vocal, Keyboard - Piano
Selfmademan -  autodidaktischer Musiker seit 45 Jahren

War im Gospelchor - Langenau und bleibt ihm treu…

„Musik muss Spass machen - darf aber auch gerne mal Traurig sein“
Zitat vom Balladenmann - der schon immer nur Ballade kann … nicht ganz ernst gemeint

Seit 2014 an Parkinson erkrankt. 
Mag seine Parkinsongruppe, seine Therapeuten,
jegliche Art von Musik - Live oder von Konserve -
SWR1 und seinen Marcello. Arbeitet gerne mit der
Nachbarschaftshilfe „gemeinsam“ zusammen.

Die Musik von Peter Maffay, Smokie, Mark Knopfler  und Queen hat mich schon immer begleitet und fasziniert. Ich entdecke gerade die klassische Musik für mich….. und mache immer weiter ..

Meine Haupt-Instrumente sind:
Stimme
Roland V-Piano - Japan
Tanglewood Acc Sundance Pro - UK
Framus Texan 5/196 - 1964 - Deutschland 
Kirkland Acc - US
Resch Mellotron - MD4000D - Sweden
iPad 
Korg iS40 - Japan
Roland SC8850 - Japan
Roland JV800 - Japan

Immer wieder Montags:
Yamaha C5 (made in England)

Feels like Home - a Song by Edvina Hayes

Jens Gruen

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