Cosmic Noodle

Series of old tracks, which i found recently. Most of them heard only by my mother so far. Out of all the recent trends in electronic music. Never properly finished.

Old track 3

Resist the amorphous call. Your unique name is a beacon.

The Amorphous Call

Make this cloud into a square shape cloud.

Square Shape Cloud

Hello thread. Pieces that don't fit. My depression was just fixed. It's a knot in my head that I've had since junior high, and might go back further. I had found all the ways into the knot, and then, in a flash of clarity, just now, it simply unraveled and I'm left with an urge to post on SomethingAwful.com.

When I was young there came a time when other children started to form into groups and I felt it was wrong to exclude others, to behave differently towards one person than another. It seemed so basic. I was taught and nurtured to believe that one should treat others as they themselves would like to be treated - the Golden Rule. But then, in my early teens, my peers started to seek the attention of others. They were desperate for an identity, something that is them, something to build on, and the only way one can form is in the minds of those who are familiar. Groups started to form around me. But I didn't want to be in a group, I wanted to do unto others as you would have them do unto you. In my mind we were all part of a whole.

I started to wear the same bland style of clothes every day. I did not cut my hair into a popular shape. And the easiest way to be true was to not engage at all. I kept to myself and viewed relationships as exclusionary. Senior year, with the idea that college was near, I decided to try socializing. You see, I didn't have the clarity that I have now. I thought I was broken, that I did not fit in, and I couldn't understand how such a person could succeed in the more social world I expected to find. This is where my life went off the rails. I was trying to play a game others had set up years ago.

I dropped out of high school with a 3.85 GPA. There wasn't a social face to show others, a true identity, the type they would expect, with familiar support. Just bits scraped from TV, me, and depression. What a huge waste of time. I am now 51.

Cosmic Noodle

Kamil Ondroušek

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