Can two cops from completely different vegetable families learn to get along?

Starchy & Husk

I’m flippin’ psyched
cause Mommy came home
it’s time for my mouth to celebrate

so give me a treat
and maybe one more
tell you what
while you’re at it, gimme three or four

don’t you people know you got to feed me
you think that being a Labrador is easy
I’ve got this sort of bottomless pit inside of me

but I know that someday there’ll be nothin’ but treats
morsels of ham spillin’ out into the streets
on that glorious day when I finally get somethin’ to eat
I just gotta get those treats

waiting behind
that silver door
there is a magic world of yummy treats galore
just let me in
for a minute or two
I’ll show you what a girl can pooker-do

I think I’ve had enough of all the waiting
oh can’t you people see I’m salivating
for god’s sake, even Pavlov eventually fed his beast

and I know that someday there’ll be nothin’ but treats
chicken and pork and all kinds of  other meats
on that glorious day when I finally get somethin’ to eat
I just gotta get those treats

they say two meals
should be enough
but I just can’t abide it
it isn’t right and
I’m gonna fight it

[instrumental break]
  
I know I stole a sandwich from my mommy
but how could I resist that hot pastrami
well I’m afraid that that’s a clear impossibility

and some day I know I will be complete
when I finally get enough to eat
I promise you this: I’ll have a belly full of treats

full o’ treats
full o’ treats
full o’ treats

and someday there’ll be nothin’ but treats
rivers of gravy will flow in the streets
on that glorious day I finally get somethin’ to eat, yeah
I just gotta get those treats

I just gotta get those treats
Oh, I promise you this: to eat so much more than I need

I said treats, treats, treats, treats
treats, treats, treats, treats

I just gotta get those treats
I just gotta get those treats

Just Gotta Get Those Treats

I love my beasts
my beasts
my silly little beasts
so drop that treat
to the beat
for my silly friend to eat
and drop that toy
for the joy
of my silly little boy
I love my beasts
beasts
my silly little beasts

and the beasts will say

WOOF muthafucka
WOOF muthafucka
WOOF

WOOF muthafucka
WOOF muthafucka
WOOF

WOOF muthafucka
WOOF muthafucka
WOOF

WOOF muthafucka
WOOF WOOF

got the sound for ya
lemme break it down for ya
there’s a hound that I found 
at the pound downtown for ya
got a silly little face
that every time I see I gotta say

I love my beasts
my beasts
my silly little beasts

so drop that treat
to the beat
give her some’m good to eat

and drop that toy
for my boy
give him everlasting joy

I love my beasts
beasts
my muthafuckin’ beasts

so drop that
treat for the beast 
at the muthafuckin’ feast
cause the beast wants a treat  
she can muthafuckin’ eat

now the boy with the toy
has the muthafuckin’ joy
he’s a toy-boy with a boy-toy
it’s a decoy

he’s goin’ for ya shoes (uh oh)
he’s goin’ for ya shoes (uh oh)
you snooze you lose (uh oh)
‘cause he’s goin’ for ya shoes (uh oh)

he will eviscerate
he will obliterate
the toy will dissipate
as Gryphon liberates

that prize in the middle
prize in the middle
pry pry
prize in the middle

he’s a silly little boy

prize in the middle
prize in the middle
pry pry
prize in the middle

break it down

I love my beasts
my beasts
my silly little beasts

so drop a treat
to the beat
for my silly friend to eat

her name is Raven (whoa oh)
and she is cravin’ (whoa oh)
a piece o’ bacon (whoa oh)
as compensation (whoa oh)

for bein’ a 

cute little bitch
chubby little bitch
fuzzy little
sweet little bitch
she’s a jumpy little bitch
cute little bitch
chubby little bitch
jumpy little
sweet little bitch
break it down

she wants a 
treat treat (oh oh)
that she can 
eat eat (oh oh)
she’s just a 
cute little 
sweet little
fuzzy little
chubby little
jumpy little 
silly little
BITCH

and then there’s Gryphon (whoa oh)
and he’s just rippin’ (whoa oh)
that toy to ribbons (whoa oh)
and he ain’t given (whoa oh)

two muthafuckin’ 
shits
shits
two muthafuckin’ 
shits

about the fate o’ that toy

shits
shits
two muthafuckin’ 
shits

he’s on a mission to destroy

he’s got a quillion toys
and every single one
has gotta be destroyed
 
so

WOOF muthafucka
WOOF muthafucka
WOOF WOOF
WOOF muthafucka
WOOF muthafucka
WOOF

WOOF muthafucka
WOOF  muthafucka
WOOF WOOF
WOOF muthafucka
WOOF

I Love My Beasts

she can wangle a treat with her Labrador eyes 
oh her tummy has clearly expanded in size
 and her paw had four toes once, but now it has three
 oh she’s long in the tooth, but she’s always a puppy to me

she can hoover up florsels like she’s vacuum-cleanin’
 she can go belly-up, point her paws at the ceilin’
 and she makes funny noises in her canine dreams
 oh she lies like a dog, but she’s always a puppy to me

oh, she loves medicine time
keeping chipmunks in line
taking no shit from birds 
oh, if a movie is on 
and there’s food that she wants
 she just uses her words

and she frequently whines when it’s past time for feedin’
 and she’ll settle for kibble, as long as she’s eatin’
 and she’ll pick up a toy just to get one more treat
 oh she’s sly as a fox but she’s always a puppy to me

mm-mm-mm-mm
 mm-mm-mm-mm

oh, she loves medicine time
 sniffing Gryphon’s behind 
second breakfast and thirds
 oh, if a movie is on
 and there’s food that she wants
 she just uses her words

well she likes to eat cheese and she’s partial to bacon 
and she’ll lie on the floor near the food that you’re makin’
 and she’ll take what you give her, as long as it’s treats
 and she shines with the hue of a seal at the zoo
 but she’s always a puppy to me

mm-mm-mm-mm
mm-mm-mm-mm

She's Always A Puppy

Introducing the Mitsubishi Friggin' Cilantro.

Yorick Strangefield