Voicemail

In a cheap motel
I turn on the TV
Oh Yolanda Vega
Read those Mega ball numbers to me

I hit the 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th
Lawdy just need two more
Yolanda honey
I'm begging you down on the floor

~Chorus~
 Why why why didn't I hit the lottery
 Why oh why has my luck forsaken me
 Why why why didn't I hit the lottery
 Why oh why has my luck forsaken me

Get that '57 goldtop
And a fine Maserati car
Buy Dom Perigon magnums
for everybody at the bar

Could have bought me an island
A penthouse on 5th Avenue
Homes in London, Paris, Tokyo
Any place I wanted to

Repeat chorus

~Bridge~
 Would have got my baby necklaces
 Not just the ones made out of pearls
 Emeralds, rubys, diamonds
 The finest ones in the world
~

So I suppose it's time to get back to reality
This working class life is what's in store for me
Pack up my Epiphone hop into that beat up car
Drink a Guinness or two
At my rock'n'roll local bar

Repeat chorus

Why Oh Why(Didn't I Hit The Lottery) - Steven Campbell

I'm Not Going Home_1 24 23_1

Jill Workshop - Break Up Song

Thank you Mike Frost

The Worst of It v 2

The Rock Test - Jill Workshop collaboration with Seth Cutler

The Rock Test (Too Fast) Frost

If you're feeling sad and feeling blue
Come with me to where I'm going to
You're world going at too fast a pace 
Let's take a trip to a better place 

~
Chorus 
We're going up
We're getting higher 
Cool Eastern breeze
And the sun in our face 
We're going up 
Yeah getting higher
Journeying 
To our happy place 
~

I've found a place that you will like a lot
It will be our special secret spot 
Kick off your shoes let worries disappear 
It's just you and me my dear

~
Repeat Chorus
~

We're Going Up - Steven Campbell

Wind

See that man over there
In the seersucker suit
He says he won't repay me
A dangerous lug
I won't say his name
Let's call him Delaney

A mean old tough
The criminal type
Always up to something shady
Steer clear of that guy
Don't speak his name
Let's call him Delaney

And that one over there
With the big shifty eyes
Prone to acting insanely
A treacherous cad
Can't utter his name
Let's call him Delaney

He's had quite a few
Over there at the bar
Beginning to act pretty crazy
Slip out the back door
Don't whisper his name 
Let's call him Delaney

Then her near the door
Looking for trouble
Or sweet lovin' maybe
She's real tough to judge
Don't know her name
Let's call her Delaney

Either way things will go
I'm taking a chance
Yes either way she will slay me
So here we go
Don't need her name
Let's call her Delaney

Let's call him Delaney
Let's call him Delaney
Let's call her Delaney
Let's call them all Delaney

Music and lyrics by Steven Campbell
~Lyrics inspired by Groucho Marx : )

Let's Call Him Delaney - Steven Campbell

Not That Kind Of A Doctor

See that guitar hanging up on the wall
'Ol Gus can I have it
He says it can be yours
First you learn Malaguena

Saw this cat at the railway line
Blues records under his arm
Practiced night & day in a rundown flat
Till we were ready to perform

Soon on the stage at the Marquee Club
The birds are screaming
Writing down Satisfaction
While I'm still dreaming

When you're known as the Human Riff
And your life becomes a myth
Now all the little rock'n'rollers
Wanna be like Keef

Left London for the South of France
Wild horses dragging me away
Spent some time at the memory motel
Getting happy every day

Met the monkey man so I'm coming down again
Then I met my New York girl
Walked before they made me run
Still rockin' all over the world

Been quite a wild ride
One love we all had a ball
Cause I got the silver
To put gold rings on you all 

When you're known as the Human Riff
And your life becomes a myth
Now all the little rock'n'rollers
Wanna be like Keef

Music and Lyrics Steven Campbell 2023
This song is dedicated to Keith Richards

Keef - Steven Campbell

Richard Norton Bacon
Has left the building
His friends will tell you
That he's in a better place
But others they will say
That they can smell the bacon burning

Richard he loved his dogs
Trixie, James Brown Beans, & Mr Woo
They were the last in a long line
Of hairy hogs who shared his bed & affection

~~
Chorus
Richard was a fine man
And really quite a wit
If you want to set your record straight
Like him write your own obit

Cremation will take place
At the family's convenience
His ashes will be passed
From family member to family member
Yes those ashes will make the rounds
Till they can't remember
Who's in that urn

~~
Chorus

In the celebration of his life
Remember Richard in your own way
He wasn't so bad or what an ass
Any story of your choosing
Boiled shrimp & adult beverages
Should be part of Richard's celebration
The luncheon to honor him
Will be at the widow Bacon's place

~~
Chorus

Richard Norton Bacon 
Has left the building

Richard Norton Bacon - Steven Campbell

Now a more unlikely couple
Don't believe I've ever seen
So sit back while I tell you
The story of Jack & Aileen

He who wears a speckled beard
Her in long black robes
Their lives have become intertwined
As the result of some ol' probe

They'll begin a-courting
Down sunny Florida way
You see Jack wants to send her man
To a house far far away

Their rollin' and a tumblin'
Begins in a few short weeks
But that rollin' and a tumblin'
Won't take place between the sheets

Aileen high up there on her bench
Gaveling things in motion
Setting everyone upon a ride
A rollercoaster of emotions

Jack rises from his table
Where he will state his case
To find beyond reasonable doubt
He'll seal the criminal's fate

At the defendant's table
Sits a horrid doughy man
His hair wrapped like a bird's nest
His face an orange tan

...to be continued

Music & Lyrics Steven Campbell 2023

Jack & Aileen...Part 1 - Steven Campbell

Wandering down a winding path
As darkness begins to fall
Ahead a tumbled down building appears
Oddly I feel it's call

There stands 'Ye Olde Bookstore'
It becons me to come in
Open the door a bell does ring
Hair raises on my skin
Door it shuts behind me
It's dark inside
A chill is in the air
I hear a weary sigh

Out of the shadows a figure appears
Says "call me Mr. Sam"
Looks a bit like Karloff I think to myself
Yet he seems a kindly man

He says come in and look around
There's so much here to see
Takes my coat and my hat
And offers me some tea
Now let me show you our finest tomes
His candle smells like burning tana leaves
My cup's brew sip so bitter 
But then this book I see

Pages turned the words spilled out
The Dark Arts were exposed
Latin, Ancient Greek, Egyptian
I understood all as composed
Minutes became hours
Seconds seemed like days
Potions and spells I understood
Eyes opened to these evils ways

Presently my candle expired
Turned to look for the old man
From a corner he appeared
And I reached out my hand
I touched his robe
He turned to dust right before my eyes
Horror overtook me
Silence shattered by my cries

Now I bolted for the door 3X
But the door had disappeared

After a time realized my fate
And slumped down on the floor
It was now my time to wait
For the next poor soul to arrive at 'Ye Olde Bookstore'

Music and Lyrics by Steven Campbell 2023

Ye Olde Bookstore - Steven Campbell

In a far away land
Locked away in the Maze
Ten doomed men
Lay wasting away

Here we sit in the pub
And we toast Bobby Sands
A shot on the bar
A pint in our hands

Wearing the green
Feeling all blue
Then I see ol' Shane
He's coming on through

Says "How the hell have you been"
As I buy him a round
Let's shoot us some pool
And then hit the town

When will Shane/he find his angel
When will I find mine
One thing that we're sure of
That we're running out of time

Night after night
Guitars round our necks
The crowd never knew
What song we'd sing next

Sure everyone knew
We'd serve up the craic
Playing dirty old dives
Never looking back

Another set done
We bid all farewell
Don't know if our next stop
Would be heaven or hell

We walked out the door
Which way;s the hotel
Is that the light or the sun
It was so hard to tell

Then he found his angel
And I found mine
One thing those angels gave us
They bought us precious time

One fine summer day
Heard a glorious sound
We managed our way
To the front of the crowd

What a brilliant voice
Came from this girl
We both agreed
Was the best we had heard

Her name was Sinead
She said hello
Said she had to run
It was time to go

Now seems Sinead has beat us home
Her angel still unfound
We will all be weeping
As they lay her in the ground
Now lay your burden down
Under the Sessle oak tree
Rest your weary head
Set your spirit free

Music and Lyrics Steven Campbell 2023

Find Your Angel(For Sinead)by Steven Campbell

Sailed away from Donegal
Across the big wide sea
Settled down in Brooklyn
To raise a family
Two generations pass
That family included me

We watched Neil and Buzz 
Walk on the moon on your tv
You were a kid when the Wright Brothers flew
So for you must have been a sight to see
That amazing night in history
Still a vivid memory for me

Grandpa Dan, Grandpa Dan
Such a happy, caring man
Grandpa Dan, Grandpa Dan
Sure did love that grand old man

Now we're playing checkers
I have red and you have black
Once I started winning
You'd give the board a wack
Then smile with a twinkle in your eye
Its so funny looking back

You watched that show with Lawrence Welk
While I learned to play guitar
But then you'd spin The Dubliners
Singing 'Whiskey In A Jar'
I make a racket on that electric
But you loved me just the same

Grandpa Dan, Grandpa Dan
Such a happy, caring man
Grandpa Dan, Grandpa Dan
Sure did love that grand old man

Grandpa Dan by Steven Campbell

Married In Vegas - words by James Noble / music by Mark Eliasof

We got married in Elvis' chapel
His Gee-tar hangin' there
I could feel the Graceland spirit 
Coming down out of the air 
	
We had the "keep us together" baby
Divorced when our son was three 
Well I'm supposed to say that he’s the light of my life,
But he’s someone thatI rarely see
	
Don’t have much money 
Don’t have many friends
Don’t have many creditors
But I don’t have to make amends
	
I came back from an evening's drinking
to the motel behind El Rey
Found a note on the empty table 
"Sorry lover. I just can't stay"

I supposed that we kept married 
three years from our weddin' day
Well I try and keep track of where my ex-wife lives
but I'm careful to stay away 
	
Don’t have much money 
Don’t have many friends
Don’t have many creditors
So I don’t have to make amends
		
Gettin' married in Vegas — happens so damn fast
Gettin' married in Vegas — never gonna last
Gettin' married in Vegas — Not Reno, not in Sparks
Gettin' married in Vegas — say yes every time you're asked 
	
You can join the foreign legion if you par-lay français
You can join the peace corps baby if you're from amer-i-kay
You can drive from salt lake temple, be sure to stop off half way
Drive on to tuscan boneyard, and Ralf's all-night café
	
Gettin' married in Vegas — happens so damn fast
Gettin' married in Vegas — never gonna last
Gettin' married in Vegas — Not Reno, not in Sparks
Gettin' married in Vegas — say yes every time you're asked

Married In Vegas - Lyrics by James Noble / Music by Mark Eliasof

MANSION IN THE SKY
    The doorman says hello, as you walk through the lobby
    You pretend you hear him, and you smile
    As you rise up in your elevator above the glowing city 
    Do you wonder why he’s there instead of you

    The light of the screen flickers, on the patterned paisley walls
    In the dark you’re sitting by yourself
    Aching for a princess like Diana
    To be beside you on your velvet couch

    Mansion in the sky
    Mansion in the sky
    You have everything you need, but life has passed you by
    Do you ever sit and cry
    In your mansion in the sky

    Do you wonder what they’re doing 
    On the streets you seldom see
    You glimpse them from behind the tinted windows
    In your chauffeured limousine

    Mansion in the sky
    Mansion in the sky
    If they ever knew, they wouldn’t want to be you
    As you try to dry your eyes
    In your mansion in the sky

Lyrics by Fiona McQuarrie/Music by Steven Campbell 2023

Mansion In The Sky. Lyrics by Fiona McQuarrie/Music by Steven Campbell

The Glass

HO HO HO
- Mark Eliasof

Friends and family share their gifts
This holiday with joy
But since someone else unwrapped you 
I feel like your broken toy

So dont make me Santa cookies
Or leave extra room under the tree 
There’ll one less jolly fellow 
This Christmas without me

Im gonna laugh out loud
With  a HO HO HO
‘Cause my Belly’s a bowl of jelly
That’s just how I roll
I know you’ve been a naughty girl
you’re a HO HO HO
So the only gift you’ll get this year
Is a Lump of coal

You know that I see everyone
Whether its’ foggy or it’s clear
So you know I know that you shared your gifts
With someone else this year

I wont fly down for your Christmas feast
Anyway now It’s out of my control
As I dine alone on reindeer meat
And stay here with my pole

Im gonna laugh out loud
With  a HO HO HO
‘Cause my Belly’s a bowl of jelly
That’s just how I roll
I know you’ve been a naughty girl
you’re a HO HO HO
So the only gift you’ll get this year
Is a Lump of coal

Friends and family share their gifts
This holiday with joy
But since someone else unwrapped you 
I feel like your broken toy

So dont make me Santa cookies
Or leave extra room under the tree 
There’ll one less jolly fellow 
This Christmas without me

Ho Ho Ho - Mark Eliasof

Angel's Kiss

Travel

Demo of my tune "Rocking-Horse Winner":
- Teresa Cowles - Vocals, Bass
- Danny McGough - Keys
- Greg - Guitar

Rocking-Horse Winner (rough demo)

That Vintage Dance Pop
-Mark Eliasof

Vladimir should be almost here
He told me that he’d  bring more beer
For the girls i snuck on my yacht, soon after dark 
Oh its good to be an oligarch
 I show the girls  the size of my craft
Those sweet young things will see both for and aft 
As we slide into my slip,  to wet dock
This is the life, its even better here than Bangkok

But the boat berthed next to mine
Is all lit up like its party time
And their DJ’s loud, spinning Doobies and Steely Dan
Those Gen-Zs must be mighty warm
Half undressed, dancing up a storm
And then the girls I brought want join the party 
So they jump ship and ruin all my plans

I wish that I could make it stop
But you know I don’t dare to call the cops
Now all the girls start tossing off their tops
While the DJ keeps them grooving to that vintage dance pop
that vintage dance pop

Now there’s footsteps on the pier 
The girls are gone and there’s no more beer
I disappoint the man, that much is clear
But there’s no way for me out of here

Vladimir says we’ll sail on soon
As I sip on stoli  staring at the moon
And I wonder what’s become of his all his goons
I’m pretty sure that I will find out soon

And the boat berthed next to mine
Is all lit up like its party time
And their DJ’s loud, spinning Doobies and Steely Dan
Those Gen-Zs must be mighty warm
Half undressed, dancing up a storm
Then the music fades as we pull away
And I’m left staring down a deadpan strong man

I wish that I could make it stop
But you know I don’t dare  (try to) to call the cops 
And all the girls keep tossing off their tops
While the DJ keeps them grooving to that vintage dance pop
that vintage dance pop

That Vintage Dance Pop - Mark Eliasof

September's here summer's winding down
Walking along the beach
Not a soul around
Nobody but you you-oh-oh-ooh

Gonna get going time to set sail
Wind upon our backs, waves
Splashing on your face
Tonight's gonna be the big climax-ax-ax

Let's make the summer last one more night
Come on baby, come and hold me tight

Time to go see that rock'n'roll band
Let's go baby, come 
Take my hand
I wanna see you shake it
Dancing in the sa-aa-and

Hear it's that KLF group
They're burning burning 
Tons of money
Let's see them acting crazy
Don't wanna miss it honey

Let's make the summer last one more night
Kiss me baby, make me feel just right

Grab me a cold one from the cooler
Honey get another one for you
I'll be your captain
You'll be my only crew

Band's doing their set down by the dock
The kids are all saying they 
rock rock rock
Let's party all night
Oh you are my gir-irl-irl-irl

September's here summer's winding down
Walking along the beach
Not a soul around
Nobody but you you-oh-oh-ooh

Let's make the summer last one more night
Come on baby, come and hold me tight
Let's make the summer last one more night
Kiss me baby, you make me feel just right

Music & Lyrics by Steven Campbell 2024

One More Night - Steven Campbell

Wherever You Are Christmas Song - Andy If

GoingNoWhereForXmas - Andy If

The Big Ifs NYC circa 1990 approx. - recorded on a Tascam 7 track cassete porta studio (one track stopped working).

Thats What Christmas Means to Me - The Big Ifs

The Other Side (of Christmas) 
- Mark Eliasof

The Autumn leaves are gone
Stolen by the wind
Just like my wasted youth
No one here remembers
my service or my sins
So don’t count on me to tell the truth

The sound of drumming fills my ears
Drowns out the Christmas songs this year
Hate and fear are not what we all need
All the bells ring out a warning
The birds refuse to sing each morning
Storm clouds are forming out at sea

Someday a better world is coming
Til then I guess I’ll keep on running
Coins in my pocket
To pay for the ride
I hope i see you on the other side

The year’s almost over
I’m getting older
This life, it has no guarantees 
No one seems to notice
The weather getting colder
And they just keep on cutting down the trees

The sound of drumming fills my ears
Drowns out the Christmas songs this year
Hate and fear are not what we all need
All the bells ring out a warning
The birds refuse to sing each morning
Storm clouds are forming out at sea

Someday a better world is coming
Til then I guess I’ll keep on running
Coins in my pocket
To pay for the ride
I hope i see you on the other side

Someday a better world is coming
Til then I guess I’ll keep on running
Coins in my pocket
To pay for the ride
I hope i see you on the other side

The Other Side (of Christmas)  - Mark Eliasof

Don’t Bury Me, I’m Not Dead Yet

They counted up the votes last night
Democracy's in critical condition
My country somehow elected
The worst possible politician

It wasn't really even close
The populous decided
They wanted the immoral man
While many of us stood there crying

Don't bury me I'm not dead yet
Lady Liberty rang her hands pleading
But on this sad sad day
Its easy to feel defeated

Don't bury me I'm not dead yet
Lady Liberty rang her hands pleading
Because in the end our ideals
Will not be defeated

Music and Lyrics by Steven Campbell. November 7, 2024

Don't Bury Me I'm Not Dead Yet

Now Sunday noon right after church goin' down to the yardsale
Gonna pick up a fine antique for my best girl

D 
Then I saw Elvis On Black Velvet
G
What a work of art
D                     Bm
I knew right there and then
            G              A      D
It would go straight to my baby's heart
D
Elvis On Black Velvet
Bm
So real he almost speaks
D                  Bm
Yes Elvis On Black Velvet
G      A     D
It's a masterpiece

D                         G
Then on Christmas morning she opened up my prize
D                              Bm
Right away I could see the joy light up in her eyes
G
She said "Oh darlin let us drink a toast
Bm
Then lets do some dancin"
G                     D
So I poured us both a cold one drank
G                A         D
Coors Light from champagne glasses

G
Lets take the family portrait with our brand new treasure (G#)
A
All around the Christmas tree as we beam with pleasure (A7)
G
The kids will hold their matching AR-15s (G#)
A
While The King looks down upon our American dream (A w high E 5th fret)

G
We'll hang it up there on the wall right next to Orange Jesus (G#)
A
Velvet Elvis you'll always protect us(A7)
G
His majesty will cover up that drunk punch hole(G#)
A
I made when my team lost the Super Bowl(A w high E 5th fret)

Music and Lyrics by Steven Campbell 2024



Elvis On Black Velvet - Steven Campbell

I’m Not Dead Yet
- Mark Eliasof


The press and rock stars like to quote my name
Then lock me out of the hall of fame
They prize their copies of my bootleg cassettes

I’m underground 
But I’m not dead yet

My so called friends have finally made it clear
They wouldn’t miss me if I disappeared  
All the good times that they soon forget

I might be down / 
But I’m not dead yet

Go ahead and hit me
Try to knock me down
Got both my feet on solid ground 
Hurl your insults, I don’t get upset
But while I’m still standing, I’m still quite a threat

All my exes  claim I had them duped
And now they’ve started their own Face book group
Where all who loved me like to share their regrets

But dont bury me
‘cause I’m not dead yet


Not Dead Yet - Mark Eliasof

I want to stand in the snowfall
Hear not a sound
Walk down the center of Broadway
Not a car around
Want to put on my skates
Skate up the ice
Stare up in wonder at the
Northern Lights

  Just want some peace
  Some peace and quiet
  No I won't ask for too much
  Just want some peace
  Some peace and quiet
  Is that too much to ask?

Want to make a snowman
10 feet high
Reach up to the stars
In the jet black sky
Making some snowballs
So fun to throw
Then stand near a barnfire
Be warmed by the glow

Music and Lyric by Steven Campbell 2025

Workshop Songs

Pinned to spotlight

Popular tracks