SWEET LIL’ LUMBERJACK

i got the number one lumber son
and i’m ready to set ya ablaze
i’ve been eatin’ all your Lays potato chips

doing a drive by with a butterknife
i’m gonna make all your pets sweat
leap into your lasagna without warning
if i catch ya snoring too loud
i’m coming outta the clouds
with a jackhammer of love between my angel wings

baby i’m spying on your diet
don’t even try it
i know your sneaking pop tarts in the dark
and playing lawn darts
baby that ain’t so smart
cuz that thang will go right through your foot
you ain’t never gonna walk again
not through the ashes and soot of my love

my flaming fire is burning like a grill
this ain’t no cheap thrill
it’s like an Alaskan oil spill
and all the seagulls of my heart are all gooey

sweet lil’ lumberjack
wind in your beard
and the world is plaid

sliding around your porch swing 
with a waffle cone full of motor oil
and you’re making me boil
you’re gonna get a fat lip
if you step in my logging camp again with a grin
everybody knows that i’m froze deep in the forest

baby i spread cream cheese 
all over my enemies when they’re in a coma
and i like the aroma of bees
baby i’m just tryin’ to not get stung by the hot stinger of your love
cause i have allergies
and i start to swell- anaphylaxis
it’s an all access pass to benadryl
and i’m gonna roll you down the hill
i’m tired of living in 80 degree weather
and i’m snortin’ chicken feathers…

(repeat chorus)

Jizzy Slitherz