We speak to the dead for A NASHVILLE CHRISTMAS CAROL () and:&nbsp; We are doing this cold open live ... The Francesa Voice ... Four letters, starts with D THEME: "," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE Buster Poindexter ... Show business ... Terry Benedict's podcast ... The Elliot Gould of this podcast ... Podcast crisis hotline ... Defenseless before Hallmark vibes ... Country musician cats, prehabilitated Scrooge&nbsp; Break: Original music by Chris Collingwood PART TWO&nbsp; Cast rundown ... The Expositional Challenge ... Plot mop-up ... "Dragon lady" on the set ... Rich person's fan script or free singer promo? ... Made by a scion of Kix Brooks ... Chet's Galaxy ... More Kasem ... 10-year overlooked phone call ... Dead and chill&nbsp; Break: Original music by Chris Collingwood PART THREE Spot the Angel: Come on, man ... Kimberly Williams-Paisley, dramatic interping ... Lazy British accents ... Woo Girl Paula Deen ... Eat Your Heart Out: No savories, peppermint brittle, red onions, no Kitchen Aid mixer, bad spatula ... Dennis Miller interlude ... The Hallmark Expanded Universe: The Specter of Chet's Galaxy; Hallmark's Great Silent Majority; Wings of Desire, but outside Nashville Break: "Himmel über Berlin," by Jurgen Knieper PART FOUR Overdetermined: Jarring oafishness of ghost scenes vs. clash of lessons ... Just omit the lesson and omit existing intellectual property ... Crossover: A Hellraiser puzzle box that brings lesson-giving Cenobites vs. hangin' with Jesse Farrar vs. Pussy Relief 2021 ... The Hallmark Bechdel Test: Pass! ... The Hallmark Voight-Kampff Test: Both musicians, potentially dead parents, AI dad ... Christmas really just makes these crazier ... Who's the Real Villain?: The music business/Chet ... Bitching about music video budgets ... Stop saying his name ... Just make it 5 percent more real Break: Original music by Chris Collingwood PART FIVE Rating: 2 ... The Leftovers: Ten years is still too long at 30 ... Eric Brooks' You're Going to Miss Me ... "Drop her, creep" ... Belinda Carlisle ... luuuv too hug the head of the studio ... Haunting Covid signifier ... Old Tom Cruise on-set rant anecdote ... Ambivalence about the risk of making this movie ... Visualizing explaining why you're in the hospital ... Bill Kurtis ... Press button, receive plot ... Merry Christmas! All other music by Chris Collingwood of  and , except: "Orchestral Sports Theme" by Chris Collingwood and Rick Murnane, and "," by Brad Paisley feat. LL Cool J

099 - Accidentally Racist in Chet's Galaxy

BRANDI BROWN joins us for GARAGE SALE MYSTERY: THE ART OF MURDER () and: A message about our namechange. THEME:&nbsp;"," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE Let's cancel! ... First, dead family, THEN pandemic ... April 13, 2019 ... Kill your computer ... Grandma troll wants the cusses ... Comic books and Hubert Humphrey&nbsp; Break: "," by The Knuckle Sandwiches PART TWO The Extra Hot Great podcast universe ... Lori Loughlin ... Hallmark samizdat ... Missing Loughlin ... Superutility Sarah Strange ... Weak mystery ... The Expositional Challenge ... Cast rundown ... Plot Mop-Up ... Giant warehouse, no job ... Sorority PTA ... College is high school; high school is college ... Cropsy ... Chunks of real effort ... Un-inventoried weird art in The Kingdom of Spiders Break: Original music by Chris Collingwood PART THREE Spot the Angel/Criminal: Red paint Jackoff Pollock ... Work lazy, crime hard ... Do you have a fence? ... Just sell out! ... Angelic mom-volunteering ... Kappa Kappa Kappa ... Mom-Daughter casting ... Jackee, Jasmine Guy, Tatyana Ali ... Eat Your Heart Out: Vibrational food; Keith Raniere's cult vegetables; Kramer-like cop; pizza-order clowning; randomized plausible foods; raw eggplant; Dispensary Mysteries Break: "Jammin'," by Bob Marley and The Simpsons&nbsp; PART FOUR Extremely shitty audio engineering ... Hallmark Expanded Universe: A Jen/Dani podcast; food truck universe; junk shop, Good Witch's shop, Anthropologie, a chocolatier ... Canadian accents in Louisiana, Missouri ... Overdetermined: Red paint; zesty hack; overdrawn "evil" stepdaughter ... Crossover: Sarah Strange for anything; NXIVM for food; Safe-like environmental sensitivity; Jen vs. Jessica Fletcher; Hallmark mystery Grand Slam ... The Hallmark Bechdel Test: Yes ... The Hallmark Voight-Kampff Test: Dani, the Dad ... Cartoon bear ... You never leave ... Actually, everyone's a replicant ... Hummuside&nbsp; Break: "," by Skankin Pickle PART FIVE Who's the Real Villain: Helicopter parenting, underfunding the arts, toxic masculinity, lack of safety net ... Rating: 2.5 ... The Leftovers: What happened to the garage sale? ... Buying stolen goods ... Twin Peaks/Law &amp; Order ominous tones ... Tina, gut-shot champ ... Director K.T. Donaldson ... Synchronized bedtime ... Congrats on the sex ... Buying classic cars for fun ... Meghan Markle's coming back ... Mortimer B. Croup ... Rich people inventory art ... Carrying Linwood's ass ... Mark Brandon Appreciation Station again ... Pete Wells ... Plugs ... Merry Christmas! All other music by Chris Collingwood of  and , except: "Orchestral Sports Theme" by Chris Collingwood and Rick Murnane

097 - Can Steal Art, Can't Tend Bar

Journalists Jeb Lund and David J. Roth step away from the the anxieties of the real world and step into the gentle, cornball, consequence-free fantasy world that exists only on the Hallmark Channel. Every week, give or take, we discuss a different Hallmark original movie—from Christmas cheer, to wedding jitters, to bakers who solve murders—and break it down into recognizable components of angels, moms, moppets, themed sweaters and mountains of dinner rolls, and try to make sense of the moments when the stories veer away from comfort films and find themselves in the uncanny valley. Welcome to a sweet, strange, stilted vision of the world—not so much an escape from modern life as a relaxing trip to an alternate universe where everyone is silly, chaste, nice, and mostly doing fine.

It's Christmastown

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