I was once at a meditation retreat where a student raised his hand and said to the teacher, “Whenever I start to meditate, so many worries, fears, and thoughts come up -- my mind tortures me. What should I do?” The teacher paused, then replied, “Begin again.”

I wrote this song at a time in my life when I was searching for the strength and courage to begin again: to step away from the hunger relief organization I founded and to choose to be of service in a new way -- as a community songleader -- at a time when fear and doubt could have derailed me. I was reminded of the words of Black theologian and activist Howard Thurman, whose book “Jesus and the Disinherited” Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. carried with him during the Montgomery bus boycott. Said Thurman, “Don’t ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and go do that. Because what the world needs is more people who come alive.”

For more info: http://singwithmarv.com


begin again by marv zauderer

i sit in silence
beside my bed
with all that we’ve lost
with what went unsaid
worry covers shame
anger chases fear
i go from then
to when -- not here

begin again, begin again
find the light within and then
come alive, come alive
begin again

i ask others what they know
i ask myself where to go
looking East, looking West
seeking wisdom, seeking rest

begin again, begin again
find the light within and then
come alive, come alive
begin again

two steps forward, one step back
stuck in patterns, time to pack
way will open, don’t know how
heart is pounding, listen now

begin again, begin again
find the light within and then
come alive, come alive
begin again

after travels far and wide
i don’t run, i don’t hide
a still, small voice deep inside
sings come alive, come alive
begin again

begin again, begin again
find the light within and then
come alive, come alive
begin again
come alive, come alive
begin again

Begin Again

Three mornings ago, for the first time in my life, words and a melody dropped into my body in that liminal, undefended space between sleep and full awakening: 

darkness has come / into the depths of the human heart

Indeed, for me, a new darkness has come: war in the Middle East. I have been feeling devastated, hopeless, frightened, and also….adrift, so deeply unsettled as if unmoored. Perhaps, I thought, this song might be a friend extending its hand to me, offering to steady me, at least a little, in the midst of such terrible storms.

I then felt yet again, as so many of us have these past weeks, the deep grief and sadness for all those murdered and injured, for all their heartbroken loved ones, for families torn asunder forever, for the impact on the future ones. It is as if there is a savage gash in the fabric of the universe. 

And then, a fear arose in me: that all those killed, all those affected – on both sides – will be forgotten. I was reminded of Thich Nhat Hanh's beautiful poem, Please Call Me By True Names, which he wrote after he heard the story of a boat, escaping from Vietnam, which was overtaken by pirates. One of the pirates raped a 12-year-old girl, who then threw herself overboard and drowned. He became aware, he said, that he is not only himself: he is also the pirate, and he is also the girl. He asks the question: Can we look at each other and recognize ourselves in each other? To him, we are all a part of what creates the conditions for pirates and girls and him to arise, and for all things to arise – hope and grace and joy, too. 

Those that are being killed and injured and affected in so many other ways by this ongoing tragedy – now, for generations before, and for generations going forward -- are not Other. They are us, and we are them. Let us never forget.

please please call them / by their true names
please please call them / into the depths of the human heart

This war, this ancient situation feels like only the latest enormous blow in the Great Unraveling. My deep prayer is that this unraveling be a turning, part of the Great Turning, not away but toward the human heart, into the depths of the human heart, where grace and empathy and compassion and love -- the only ways to save ourselves, each other, and this more-than-human world -- live.

may unraveling be a turning / toward the human heart
may unraveling be a turning / into the depths of the human heart

My beloved mentor Lisa Littlebird says songs are batteries. May any gratitude for this song, may any new meanings given to this song, may any energy devoted to singing this song power it to travel to all those who find resonance with it – it can be freely shared.

The Human Heart -- Marv Zauderer - Layer 3 Harmony

The Human Heart -- Marv Zauderer - Layer 3 Melody

The Human Heart -- Marv Zauderer - Layer 2 Harmony

The Human Heart -- Marv Zauderer - Layer 2 Melody

The Human Heart -- Marv Zauderer - Layer 1

The Human Heart

More about Sophia: https://www.singingourselveshome.com/

Shine Your Light - Part 4 (lower - Tenor)

Shine Your Light - Part 3 (bass Or An Octave Up)

Shine Your Light - Part 2 (high Harmony)

Shine Your Light - Part 1 (melody)

Shine Your Light - Full

Dear All,

Feel free to share this little mantra songlet, it's meant to be sung -- on your own or in song circles. My deepest gratitude to Heather Stevenson for the magic of her harmony and piano.

Early on in my life, I became mostly estranged from myself. I've spent much of my life since then trying to narrow the distance between who and what I reveal and present to the world, and my true Self. This song is for all of us who have been cast out, alienated, alone, using our work in the world, and our work within, to lead us home.

More about my community singing: http://singwithmarv.com

Lyrics:

i long for home
a clear way home
i hear my voice
i'm not alone
i search inside
i see i'm known
my own heart waits
i'm coming home

With love,
Marv

I’m Coming Home - Complete Track

Marv Zauderer (he/they) is a community songleader on unceded coast Miwok land in Marin County, California. He leads in-person choirs & song circles, and, through the miracle of free software, an online song circle at SingOnline.org where all singers can see & hear every word from everyone -- live!

More info: http://singwithmarv.com

Marv Zauderer

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