Song about a guy who asks Santa for a Christmas Gift:  A girl to fall in love with him.  Santa tells him to go ask the magic mistletoe tree...  All rights reserved by author.  BMI: 550317884 // IP 00724339936

Mistletoe Tree

Mistletoe Tree - By Michael Crockett

She's a local attraction and a helluva mystery
Got a body built in Detroit; talks like small-town Mississippi
And that red broken heart tattoo on her neck
Ain't as harmless as a country boy might expect,...yeah, it's a...
 
WARNING LABEL
For all the smooth-talking guys
Armed with charm and money on a Friday night
They buy her one, buy her two, buy her three tequilas
Think she'll fold and roll like a flour tortilla 
Then they fall for her while she drinks 'em under the table
Yeah, look out, boys
She's got a WARNING LABEL

Lawyers, doctors, farmers, and teachers
Drive from miles around to try and out-drink her
So she’ll say ‘yes’ after closing time
But they ignore the ink hidden in plain sight...yeah, it's a...

REPEAT CHORUS

She tells the boys she won't drink alone
So every round, they're buying two Patrons
That's when the barkeep serves his daughter
Half the profits with shots of water...yeah it's a...

REPEAT CHORUS
REPEAT CHORUS


Dewey Longuski (BMI)
©2024

Warning Label

TROPI-CALL ME

While I was waiting for a tow truck in a snow bank
Saw an ad for online dating on my phone
Started searchin' for a match in the Florida Keys
With the wealthy, desperate, cougar filter on

What are the chances, yeah, I'd find you
Outta all the women on that site?
The week I had down there on your tab
Was the best time of my life...So

TROPI-CALL ME when you're lonely and I'll be there                              
To love on you in the salty air          
Under the palm trees and sun 
Sippin' coke and rum           
Like an old beach bum                         
Any time the map up here looks cold and snowy        
Darlin', TROPI-CALL ME

I wouldn't trade a Northern Michigan summer
For a year in the South of France
But when my ice hole's freezing faster than it should 
I hope you're missin' what I have

My Ski-Doo's gassed up and pointing to
The local airport down the road
I've got my swim suit, surf shoes, Coppertone travel tube
Packed and ready to go...So... 

REPEAT CHORUS

There's no doubt in my mind it's the perfect situation
I cool you down when your too hot on a warm and free vacation…So…

REPEAT CHORUS w/tag	

Dewey Longuski (BMI)
©2024

Tropi-call Me

TROPI-CALL ME

She's smart
And real pretty
Loves Elvis and thinks I’m witty
She drinks beer
And eats healthy
Rumor has it her daddy's wealthy
In the end it was a difficult decision
To choose between her heart and my transmission...but...

SHE CAN’T DRIVE A STICK SHIFT and that's a deal breaker for me
Don't need her grindin' down my gears every time she turns the key
I never could respect her knowing she'd burn out my clutch 
It's a matter of principle not love...that... 
She can't drive
She can't drive 
SHE CAN’T DRIVE A STICK SHIFT

She didn't cry
The day I dumped her
Instead she took a hammer to my bumper 
I was scared
And kept my distance
It was the path of least resistance
Cuz I'd rather have her crush the chrome and metal
Then to ruin my ride while figurin' out the pedals

REPEAT CHORUS

(Pedal Steel Break)

REPEAT CHORUS w/Tag

Dewey Longuski (BMI)
©2024

She Can't Drive A Stick Shift

From one guy to another you did the right thing by callin' me
Before you gave into her demand for family fun at Disneyland
You gotta stop the rust building up on that
Chrome ball hitch on your pickup truck
With the boat and trailer you've been saving up for sailor
You can give your wife and kids a three-day Mickey trip
Or teach 'em all a lifelong skill like how to fish

Don't CAVE MAN
If you do she'll always think she has the upper hand 
Then you can say goodbye
To all the guy things in your life
That keep your knuckles dragging in the sand
Don't CAVE MAN

I don't mean to say you should never let her have her way
But you need some manly things in your life to keep it right
I'm talkin’ 'bout bar nights with the boys
Two and four wheeled off-road toys
And collectibles like fishing rods and knives
If you don't set the rules this time I'm certain
Your taxidermied bass will look alot like bedroom curtains

REPEAT CHORUS

Love needs a two-way give-and-take to work
But sometimes a guy just has to be a jerk, so…
 
REPEAT CHORUS w/Tag

Dewey Longuski (BMI)
©2024

Cave Man

www.crockettsongs.com.  I grew up in North Mississippi, joined the Marines, graduated from Ole Miss, served as a naval officer for 20 years, and retired to Virginia -- where I write Southern Americana songs, blending country, delta blues, and rockabilly. // www.crockettsongs.com. email: crockettsongs (at) gmail.com // © Michael Crockett //  BMI# 550317884 // Song licensing available

Mistletoe Tree - By Michael Crockett

CrockettSongs.com - originals, by Michael Crockett

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