Excerpt:

Excerpt:

ESMERELDA:
I’m not saying that I don’t have plans or dreams or goals or things that I want. Things I want to do and want to see and want to learn about and experience. I’m not saying that there aren’t symphonies that I want to hear and mountains that I want to hold against my body, feeling the heat pulled from my collection of stardust to the mountain’s collection. Thermal energy transferring from one morphology to the next. I am not saying dondon that there aren’t new friends that I want to meet, new jokes I want to make with these new friends, new dances I want to dance with these new friends. New dances that are the new jokes that I want to make with these new friends. I’m not saying that there aren’t new languages and new instruments and new architectures that I want to learn and perfect and change and find myself one of the motors of evolution. One of the creatures who changes culture through use and misuse. I’m not saying that I have no more want. I am not saying that I am no longer interested. I am not saying that I know or understand even a teaspoon full of ocean water—the complex systems of entwinement and codependence that is an ecology like the ocean. Any ecology. That is not what I am saying dondon. That is not how I feel at all.

DONDON:
Well, when you say “I don’t want to do or see anything else ever” than it feels like you are saying that you don’t want to do or see anything else ever. You see? You see Esmerelda how I would take it as such?

ESMERELDA:
Yes, I can see how you would hear it that way.

D
Oh, you can, huh?

ESMERELDA:
Yes, I can see how it could be interpreted as a general surrender or acceptance of the uselessness of any proactive gesture.

D
Well, that is really big of you.

ESMERELDA:
Yes, thank you. I’ve always been able to see how someone else might look at something. Always been able to view a something from a someone else’s perspective.

D
Hmmmmm. So, that is really impressive. 

ESMERELDA:
Thank you.

D
So you are saying that when you say “I don’t want to do or see anything else ever” and I interpret that as you saying that you don’t ‘want to do or see anything else ever’ you are able, with your advanced empathy, to see how it is I could understand those words to mean that you do not want to do or see anything else?

ESMERELDA:
Yes, dondon.

The Long Conversation "galapagos & ghosts" May 23rd, 2021

Excerpt:

DONDON:
I didn’t see you at the seedling’s celebration last night.

ESMERELDA:
Oh, I was there.

DONDON:
Oh you were?

ESMERELDA:
Yes.

DONDON:
Well, I didn’t see you.

ESMERELDA:
There were a lot of celebrants in attendance.

DONDON:
Yes.

ESMERELDA:
And the lighting was complicated.

DONDON:
Dappled and variations on indigo is how I would describe the lighting last night.

ESMERELDA:
Yes, me too. Exactly.

DONDON:
Dappled light makes it difficult to get a sense of the scope of a space.

ESMERELDA:
Yes, but it is also so pretty.

DONDON:
Pretty and confusing.

ESMERELDA:
Yes. 


DONDON:
Sometimes confusing at a party can be so fun.

ESMERELDA:
I think so too. But just sometimes. I think I would need to feel more comfortable and more welcome and known for confusing. I felt distinctly out of sync last night and wound up leaving after only about half an hour.

DONDON:
Oh, so maybe that is why I didn’t see you.

ESMERELDA:
The combination.

DONDON:
Right. Dappled and unknown.

ESMERELDA:
Dappled and unknown.

DONDON:
Dappled and unknown though could also be a safe haven for exploration and research.

ESMERELDA:
Yes, that is right and I was trying to convince myself to treat it as such, to imagine I was in another country, on another plane, with an unbeknownst to me collection of creatures but…I’m not sure. It just wasn’t working. I was too in between knowing and not knowing and couldn’t cleave the two apart.

DONDON:
I know exactly what you mean Esmerelda. The deep comfort of being a total stranger unresponsible for their effect on an interpersonal community landscape, graced with the allure of the other. 

ESMERELDA:
Yes. Precisely my friend. OR the alternate comfort and pleasure of being so entirely within the fold that moves and words flow freely and reception is expected.

DONDON:
I had a conversation with Hit Herbert who explained to me the radically different way that falcons see. 


ESMERELDA:
Radically different from who?

DONDON:
Most all creatures really.

ESMERELDA:
Oh. I didn’t know. Maybe that’s why I have such a hard time spending time with any of them.

The Long Conversation - SIGHT SPEED - July 25, 2021

K.M.D. - Before he was the supervillain MF Doom he was Zev Love X in KMD or (Kausing Much Damage). With the recent passing of one of the greatest rappers and record producers of all time with a particular talent in wordplay and a gift of repartee, I thought I would start from the beginning with the group that started it all.

2021 - 01 - 03 - 1600 - Gravy Train: K.M.D. - 2021-01-03

Chant and Dance featuring the rap/chant music of MC Yogi from his CD "Elephant Power" .

Miracle Mantra 2021-01-04

Excerpt:

Dondon: 
the last cracker in a package of crackers it’s always pretty lousy because it’s probably the most stale. 
 
ESMERELDA: 
well yes I’ll give you that but apropos of what? The cracker had nothing to do with it being the last cracker. 
 
Dondon: 
I know I was just thinking about some thing else about last Ness sometimes the last of some thing is a ruined or degraded version of that thing. No offense to Martha, 
 
ESMERELDA: 
I’m sure she will not take any offense. Sometimes my last cracker is very stale because I slow down when I am nearing the end of some thing like a sweet drink or cracker or fruit. I am trying to postpone The end. And consequently the juice turns sour the cracker turns stale the fruit rats. So what had been the last or should have been the last i.e. the penultimate cracker becomes the last eaten cracker. 
 

Dondon: 
I think I do something similar sometimes won’t finish the thing at all for the anxiety which such a momentous occasion seems to produce. 
 
ESMERELDA: 
my friend Ruff-Ruff used to do that, used to never finish anything because of the dire consequences of finishing being the last creating, the last eating, the last singing, the last song….I think it is a recognized strain of procrastination as well. 
 
Dondon: 
I think all procrastinations have that as one element. 
 
ESMERELDA: 
dondon, that is the same thing as being a strain of procrastination. You just said to me exactly what I had just said to you and you said it like it was a new thought. Were you even listening to what I said? Or did you not realize that the idea you are having while I am talking to you is coming from me.
 

Dondon: 
Oh, that’s interesting, do you mean like, I am unaware of the separation between our two minds? Like, while you are saying something I have so internalized our friendship that I think that your words are my idea?
 
ESMERELDA: 
Yes, maybe that is it. OR you are not really listening and we are coming to similar thoughts and I say what I am thinking and then you, not having really listened but preparing your own thoughts, say yours and don’t realize it is what I just said.
 
...

The Long Conversation - the last carrier pigeon - jan3, 2021

don’t look at the internet
don’t look at the internet
don’t look at the internet
you never know what sort of horror you might find

for instance i read an article recently
for instance i read an article recently
for instance i read an article recently
entitled
incidence of intentional vehicle–reptile collisions oh it was so lousy 
so lousy 
so lousy
(ahhhh) 
it said that the impact of vehicles on certain reptile species 
was well documented and population consequences of associated mortality from collisions with vehicles can be significant. 
   but not studied. that’s what it said it hadn’t yet been studied if it was intentional, so the essay i read said the authors documented the response of motor vehicle drivers listen, listen to this to a fake turtle, fake snake, an item frequently found on the road like a styrofoam cup and an inconspicuous control (they never said what that might mean). 
response was documented as a hit, miss, or rescue, rescue. response was documented as a hit, miss, or rescue, rescue. using log-linear analysis the study found evidence that reptile decoys were hit at a higher rate than by chance  a higher rate than by chance than a higher rate than by chance with approximately 2.7% of motorists intentionally hitting those re-reptiles. 
these results may be used to improve vehicle–reptile collision probability models and demonstrate the need for highly effective mitigation measures to prevent reptile access to roadways with moderate to heavy traffic volumes. cry cry cry cry cry cry cry cry cry cry and don’t read the internet.

"Don't Look At The Internet" Song for The Long Conversation - January 4th 2020

Spark one up or lay one down for Psych Sunday Volume I on this afternoon's quarantine edition of Gravy Train. A selection of obscurely peculiar and outlandish numbers of some unknown names of the 60s.

Gravy Train: Psych Sunday (Vol I) 2021-01-10

Excerpt:

DONDON:
(muffled yelling) hello!

Hello!

Esmerelda? 

Hello?

ESMERELDA:
Oh ! hi dondon! I’m sorry! I forgot you were coming over. Give me a moment to unstack this stuff so you can come in. (huh, ugh,)

(esmerelda makes sounds of moving giant furniture, tree branches, oil bins….SFX of same? Revel in the throwing of sounds for a while.)

Do:
Wow, there really is a lot of stuff. Here. I can I help from this side?

ESMERELDA:
Well, I’m trying to be pretty careful
(sounds of things just crashing and breaking)

D
Ok, yea, I can see that

ESMERELDA:
(giant longish 10seconds??----loud CRASH, thud then silence)
I’m ok!

D
I think I’ve found a small tunnel I can crawl through.

ESMERELDA:
Great! Do that. come on in!

(struggles etc.)

D
Ok! Phew!
ESMERELDA:
Wonderful! Hello dondon! Welcome! I’m so happy to see you!! I’m sorry I forgot you were coming over to visit today!! I hope that wasn’t too much of a burden. A trial. A tribulation. A trigger. For you.

D
On the contrary Esmerelda, I enjoyed it immensely. Many has been my passing through doors and gates and breezeways and posterns and archways, double doors and French doors and felt dismayed by the banality of the entrance. Or exit. To move from one room to the other….to move from the outside to the inside to move from the inside to the outside to move, indeed from one environ to the next should be more momentous!! Should be more heraldry. More jollification! More carousal! Or more mourning. More contemplative tears. More ceremony! 

ESMERELDA:
Oh. I am so glad to hear it. I certainly enjoyed the suspense and labor on my part!

The Long Conversation - online meditation - January 10th 2020

No no no no no no no no no no
Oh yea
Oh oh yea
No no no no no no no no no no
Oh yea
Oh oh yea
No no no no no no no no no no
Oh yea
Oh oh yea
No no no no no no no no no no
Oh yea
Oh oh yea

YEA YEAAAAA
YEA
YEA YEAAAAA
YEA
YEA YEAAAAA
YEA
YEA YEAAAAA
YEA
YEA, YEA AA


No no no no no no no no no no
Oh yea
Oh oh yea
No no no no no no no no no no
Oh yea
Oh oh yea
No no no no no no no no no no
Oh yea
Oh oh yea
No no no no no 
No no no no no 
No no no no no 
No no no no no 
No no no no no 
Why not 
why not
Why not 
why not

The Long Conversation "galapagos & ghosts" May 23rd, 2021

Riverwest Radio 2

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