Omg why is this so much better than the released version and clearer 😭

a chronological playlist of songs released (or re-released) under the ethel cain moniker. order is based on the date each song was released/shared (i.e. not when they were recorded) so some demos appear after their corresponding finished track. i had to guess at some – i did my best!

cover photo is a shot from the june 22, 2024 show at the greek via @/artziety on instagram

(edit aug. 2024 – added tommy/miss anhedonia tracks. most are mislabelled)

(sitting at 178 tracks as of 7/10/25)

chronological ms. cain

Embarrassing — Ethel Cain (Ellis Cover)

White Silas - No Rest For The Wicked

Mourning After

White Light - White Silas

Selby Wall - ethel cain

Ethel Cain - Sunday Morning (Demo)

Mother matron of the morning time
Ebb and flow as the sun will rise
Colossal gods run the expanses
Pulling you in with their dark black tide

I am not as small as I believe I am
I am god to your mother
I am mother of man
Command your ancestors
Hold their heads in my hand
I won’t swim in your ocean
Colossus
I can’t

Tell me you love me
And light me on fire
Fuck me to death
On my funeral pyre
I’ll become your rock
I can’t feel your love
Is this the abyss
That your god speaks of

I am not as small as I think I am
I am god to your mother
I am mother of man
Command your ancestors
Through no slight of hand
I won’t swim in your ocean
Colossus
I can’t

You are not as small as you think you are
You throw yourself into my waters
But you won’t go far
I am not the one you wanted
But I’m all you have
I’m your only saving grace
In this colossal black

Lose your conscience
Your purity
Give up your body
Give it to me
Lose your religion
Lose your soul
Give me your life
Give me it whole

I can't swim this anymore
I can give you nothing more

I am not as small as I think I am
I am god to your mother
I am mother of man
Command your ancestors
Hold their heads in my hand
I won’t swim in your ocean
Colossus
I can’t

You are not as small as you think you are
You throw yourself into my waters
But you won’t go far
I am not the one you wanted
But I’m all you have
I’m your only saving grace
In this colossal black

colossus - ethel cain

I know you better now than I ever have before
I know you better now that our clothes are on the floor
And I had started shaking when you walked in through the door
But I’m not scared anymore, I’m not scared anymore
And I’ve never felt more alone with your arms around my shoulders
But I know if you left i’d cry myself to sleep praying that you’d hold me closer
But I see your face in the lamplight
And suddenly I don’t wanna die, I don’t wanna die
And I don’t need to be happy anymore
I just need to know that I’m yours
So will you tell me that I’m yours
You sleep so deeply cause you hope you won’t wakе up
But I tread so lightly cause i’m scared you’ll sеlf destruct
And I know that we’d go up in flames but I can’t help myself
Cause I'd die if I knew you found safety in the arms of someone else
And I, don’t need, to be happy anymore
I just need to know that I’m yours
Oh will you tell me I’m yours
That i’m yours

White Silas ~ Room 209

Growing Pains - Ethel Cain

Ethel Cain - Churchyard

Ethel Cain - Skinheads (Demo)

lyrics:

You spent your whole life trying to be tough
Cause your parents married pain to love
But you go all white at the sight of blood
And Jesus knows that you've seen enough
Something happened back when you were young
It kills you but you won't tell me what it was
Sleeping on the floor in your grandma's room
Too tired to cry, too weak to even move
You're so scared you'll make the mistakes you
Had to watch your daddy make that
Took your mama and everything away
But it's not your fault and I don't need help
Cause these bruises on my body, I gave to myself
You're allowed to take care of yourself
25 and you're still crying in your sleep
Scared the world is out to get you
And you've tried every bottle but you're in too deep
Cause you don't know any better, how could you?
And the fear is there when we're in your bed
And I start to cry and you think it's something you did
But baby I'm alright
I'm alright
You're so scared you'll make the mistakes you
Had to watch your daddy make that
Took your mama and everything away
But it's not your fault and I don't need help
Cause these bruises on my body, I gave to myself
You're allowed to take care of yourself
Last night I dreamed that you had gone away
Woke up in tears and stayed in bed all day
And I'm terrified that I'll lose everyone I have
That I'll watch them leave and wait but they won't come back
You're so scared you'll make the mistakes you
Had to watch your daddy make that
Took your mama and everything away
But it's not your fault and I don't need help
Cause these bruises on my body, I gave to myself
You're allowed to take care of yourself

bruises ♡ ethel cain

Grace

florida heat - white silas x little triste

Ethel Cain - The God

Kabel - Black And Blue ft. Ethel Cain

is it not fun?

(pfp is a shot by laura makabresku)

Ethel Cain - Sunday Morning (Demo)

Ken

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