matan even VS greta thunberg

writing: me
voicework: me
poor mixing: me
beat: anywaywell

Matan Even

Hey, my turn. Yeah, I just want to nominate
Ms. Greta Thunberg for capturing Andrew Tate.
Now do something useful, something other than
Skipping school and shaking a cardboard sign at the government.

I’m champion of the world, king of the Game Awards
But half of them don’t even believe in what you pay towards
Try changing the people first or you’ll drop sooner
And slowly melt away, that’s just the tip of the Thunberg.

Greta Thunberg

Yeah, Greta Thunberg will soon drop a better verse,
‘Cause I take down groomers, you take spotlights from developers,
Just so you could nominate your rabbi Bill Clinton
But much like that award, you won’t actually be winning!

I changed the world by placing their aim at the climate!
Now the youth are saving the day, and I’m behind it!
While you’re tryna gain traction on Twitch, but you lost relevance
Your time in the Ring is up, it’s gone Elden, bitch!

Matan Even

I know you only spoke when you thought it was necessary
So those lines you wrote were a sign of illiteracy
Speaking of, you’re on the streets like you’re asking for loose change
You sound like you’re currently hitting the griddy for Ukraine

You’re forcing innocents to have a guilty conscience,
While I win every debate just spitting nonsense.
Your movement is useless, so shake fists at Putin.
My impact will always be bigger: carbon footprint

Greta Thunberg

How dare you? I’m making efforts against pollution
Your hairdo is more oily than the whole ocean.
You went from publicity to public harassment!
This is the second time you’ll hear awkward clapping!

It makes sense you got arrested after the show
This is what happens when you recycle lame jokes
When Twitter saw me burning fossils, it wasn’t gas!
They switched the tune to Thunberg, and turned @matanevenoff!

Matan Even VS Greta Thunberg - Rap Battle

Zombie (Plants VS Zombies) VS Zombie (Minecraft)

crusty ass png

writing: me
voicework: me
poor mixing: me
beat: anywaywell

Zombie (PVZ)

Rising up from my grave, I didn’t come to play.
Listen bud, I gotta say that we just ain’t the same.
Killin’ buds, exterminate, but before my lunch break
EA says you gotta pay, Pop a Cap right at your face!

Yeah, I’m facing a pussy like it’s PVZ!
Only waking at night, d’you need a coffee bean?
Using your babies to fight, so to stop you from running out,
I’ll make more waves with your wife, like “the zombies are coming!” Ouch!

Zombie (Minecraft)

This monster spawned before dawn on this bomb beat,
But all that was audible was you, now I’m yawning
‘Cause the problem that I find wrong with this zombie:
Your army falls into line like you’re playing Zombot-lane!

You got a ludicrous legion that lose to lawn mowers!
It don’t take hours for me to bust down a locked door!
Hardcore, like your head I’m popping off fast!
Who knew you’d have so much trouble trying to touch grass!

Zombie (PVZ)

Yeah, I fuck with the plants and I win it, the minute you step in the light you are finished!
You spend your whole night tryna break in a village and still didn’t get in, you ain’t got no bitches!
So listen, your single-hit disses ain’t similar to me freely feasting on greenies for dinner,
Any mob happens to hurt you and you go ballistic, no wonder you’re riding with chickens!

Ooh, call that a critical hit, the way how I come from the top!
Make like your business and sink when I cut you down a Notch!
You’ve Drowned so sleep with the fishes, but you can’t haunt ‘em!
‘Cause when you fight the Zomboss, you end up Zom-bottom!

Zombie (Minecraft)

All of your rhymes cannot hit, they do light damage!
I die to smite enchantments, you die to spud mines planted!
Ain’t got no weakness, just strength. Do harm? It’s healthy to me!
Minecraft’s making massive money, you’re stuck in the Loonboonies!

My fans are frivolous, your fans forgot your franchise!
I thought you’d be happy to wither like when a plant dies!
I’d tell you to stay dead and release ZackScott’s soul, but
You try to revive and still decline. “Bruhhh” moment.

Zombie VS Zombie - Rap Battle

Bo Burnham (Youtube) VS Brian David Gilbert (Youtube)

writing: me
voicework: me
poor mixing: me
beat: anywaywell

Bo Burnham

Welcome To The Internet! What would you like to see? 
An actual comedian, or a niche copy?
I’m a YT classic, bringin’ white-kid raps and 
Compared to your parody parables, I’m pacing faster!

Katy Perry, ask her who knew YouTube's past, sir! 
I made people laugh for years, you're me but sadder!
I don't need a ladder, I climb the Vine with wordplay! 
Your skits are so dramatic, it's like they were a word play!

Of course, I know that I'm turn, turn, turn-
-in’ thirty but I got the Words, Words, Words,
To hit you hard with my verse, verse, verse.
It’ll hurt, but That's How The World Works!

Brian David Gilbert

Listen, I’m a bit perplexed, so it’s time to start Unravelling,
You went from a white kid, to naked Monster Factory
And I see that Bo is just a stage name, where did it come from?
Sorry, we’ll get back to this tangent, imagine a blackened screen then- jump cut!

It’s rough but I have lots of dedicated fans, 
Educated packs of people with PokeRaps at PAX!
While you pander to posse’s of posers
Puttin’ you on a pedestal you don’t deserve, that’s Sad!

BDG, Ragtag meme with a modest following, 
Rapping ‘gainst this trashy comic with tragic comedy!
Flows so spicy like pepcorn, you know I’m keepin’ the heat up!
Though Bo’s got no knowhow for how shows run so he Repeats Stuff!

Bo Burnham

Unlike all your jokes, that’s funny considering
Within a Polygon, this dumb square couldn’t fit in!
I challenge thoughts with comic songs, we’re not the same!
You make videos about games, so watch yourself getting played!

Brian David Gilbert

Let’s see, on MTV you wrote Zach Stone Is Gonna Be Famous,
But I don’t think that they knew past Bo was a bit racist!
Bo Burnham’s close to burning, so better be on the lookout
‘Cause you’re under fire for being offensive like it’s Klan Kookout!

Bo Burnham

Only sorcery can fix that hideous (Fucking look!)
But magic isn’t real, you idiot (Read a book!)
And since you’re a nerd, I‘ll set the guidelines (Listen now!)
Rereading Hyrule Hystoria several times (Doesn’t count!)

Art Is Dead, and you’re definitely proof of it, ‘cause
Covering ABBA as Drac won’t make you relevant, but
Here’s an idea, make a new pair of those ugly jorts,
‘Cause much like your fame, you should be used to cutting short!

Brian David Gilbert

What are you on about, my vids get the fans viewing!
From collabs and dance moves to gourmands and Dances Moving!
And I know Covid hoisted both of us out of order,
But you feel and smell like shit… wait that’s it! Bo comes from Body Odor!

I don’t need to wear hats with how much you be capping!
Take a tip from your friend Bezos if you wanna battle rap me!
Wanna Make Happy? Then stop being such a cynic!
God has cursed you for your hubris, but your work is more than finished!

Bo Burnham VS Brian David Gilbert - Rap Battle

MoistCr1TiKaL (Youtube) VS Dave Strider (Homestuck)

writing: me
voicework: me
poor mixing: me
beat: anywaywell

lyric document because soundcloud is stinky, p u!!! 🤢🤢
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1tvrP1ErnxlIjO2ZppVmVd3XkwQdZWTdJKuyjxzPaX38/edit

MoistCr1TiKaL VS Dave Strider - Rap Battle

El Silbón (Folklore) VS Death (Puss In Boots)

writing: me
voicework: me
poor mixing: me
beat: inphase

El Silbón

Ah, another lost soul travelling with a deathwish?
I hate dogs, that’s why I go after bitches.
I tower over you, call you petite perrito.
But, you’re such a copycat, you even stole my whistle.

Killed my father, now I’m cursed to roam the Llanos.
You tried to kill a puss, but we all know how that goes.
Mierda, can’t snare a scaredy cat, just spared I hear?
The stick in my hand ain’t for fetch, it’s to beat in-

Death

Fear… yes, I do love the smell of it.
Drenched with blood and alcohol, no need for disinfectant.
‘Cause I put the sick in sickle, while you’re getting old.
So skinny and sickly, we should call you El Sil-bone.

Maybe that’s why dogs find you tasty.
Carrying a stick and bag, but don’t run away, see
You’ve seen abuelo’s pets, but here’s the alpha of the pack.
You can run from me, señor, but you can’t run a track.

El Silbón

Hijo de puta, seems like you’re still alive.
I thought you’d be gone, considering your screen time.
In your movie, you’re a third of the villains.
They built me a statue just to capture my image.

And the cheaters and womanisers that we all live with?
I kill with righteousness, saving all the victims.
I hate drunkards and such, but mostly this bastard.
You won’t get a last wish, but you’ll get some last words.

Death

Ah, finally. This should be fun.
You’ve ruined the rap, which means the battle has begun.
Such a coward, you alone couldn’t get deer meat.
Is your hair standing up or are you just happy to see me?

I may live in a world full of animals,
But I’m not barbaric enough to be a cannibal.
You should count down behind that door, ‘cause before I leave,
I blow the whistle out, and I don’t mean metaphorically.

El Silbón VS Death - Rap Battle

The Zodiac Killer (Misc) VS Cicada 3301 (Misc)

writing: me
voicework: me
good mixing: trakked
beat: dansonn

Zodiac Killer

Hello, this is the Zodiac Killer speaking on the mic.
I drop bomb threats, now I’m dropping bomber lines.
But a lowly Cicada just isn’t worth my time.
I don’t need insects working for me in the afterlife.

See, Cicada, seeking ways to steal the peoples brains just ain’t the operation, 
I'm the type to splatter, leave remains then bash their face in
Leave the PD dazed, old bodies decay, the coldest case in
History, I’m powerful, while you’re scourin’ for goose chases.

Woops, okay? Decoys and cons ain’t the only game I play.
I pen pal the popo with puzzles, ciphers are my forté.
Prime numbers? You’ll die, brother. Something so greatly lame,
Add this obscure rap battle to your own bullshit database.

I’m intelligent, using my wits to trick and kill
You’re on 4Chan ‘cause like deciphers, you need to shift and fill
An open spot, but all you got was unlucky, and now you’re busy
Stuck with incels, -ebeorietemethhpiti-

Cicada 3301

Yeah, I went on 4Chan, you fortunately got the callback,
‘Cause I was lookin’ for losers who thought that they could talk smack,
But walk back, Zodiac, I’m more than just a brain teaser,
I got the whole crew, now I’m rolling, shiftin’ Caesar.

Morally upholding, no taking tolls on no other,
I’m dark web, but you’re headin’ dark under the covers,
With that grocery bag on your head, that’s some Mr. Bean shit.
I seek detectives, but can’t figure why you’re attention seeking.

But the real thing is the seething you do when you see the people 
Being peaceful, but he so shook, now he meet and greets em
With a gruesome end, fuel is spent less than his dreams of winning
‘Cause with such bad grammar, they could never match the printing.

A very scary terror’s hyperbole when you versus me
Your line don’t read, like Rachel Berry, All-In like you Arthur Leigh,
But he went, did his prison time, missed out on the fun?
Put those glasses over that bag, cause you've never seen the sun.

Zodiac Killer

I got away, with half my ciphers broken.
Y’all know the case is open, still cold like it’s frozen
Fuck public, one and done, run and gunned, no dirty suspect
Clean prints, clean boots, cleaned up thirty seven.

Cicada 3301

With all that ego, you're tripping on your power
‘Cause Cicada’s takin’ expert detective work within hours
By the way, 37’s alleged, you fooled no one.
Zodiac? 5. Cicada? 3301.

The Zodiac Killer VS Cicada 3301 - Rap Battle

Slenderman (Marble Hornets) VS Jean Jacket (NOPE)

writing: me
voicework: me
poor mixing: me
beat: pacific

Slenderman

Sky traveller. Don’t tread into my territory.
Fly in my forest, but you won’t wanna go lookin’ for me.
Search for more horror mortis, it sure ain’t in your boring story.
You see a balloon then pop, like your name was Gordy.

Slenderman’s the best internet trend. When sent and read, men wet the bed.
A gentleman presented dead in terms of sentiment and jest,
Said to be an eldritch element of the era,
While you think mid-air staring squarely at mares would stir up terror?

I’m a creepypasta, but you’re creepy fettuccine.
I got no eyes, yet you’re blind as hell. Just try to see me.
Though it makes sense they turn away when they’re viewin’ ya.
Don’t mind the suit, I’m just dressed for your funeral.

Jean Jacket

What’s this? Another meal to chomp on?
I guess I’m in the mood for shitty squid ink pasta.
Battle me, you best know that the mic is off
Though there’s no sound whenever this guy talks.

Yuh, let me stop the discussion like a still cloud.
You only kill crowds when your wiki page is filled out.
To get my picture, they gotta set up the GoPro shot.
To get your picture, they boot a session of Photoshop.

Eight pages? Try “Ate up by JJ”
I terrorized the Haywoods, you weren’t scary enough in your hayday
When you’re based off of H.P., I’m less scared of those tentacles,
Expectedly some spectre ain’t special to spar a spectacle.

Slenderman

This Hornet’s buzzing, let’s say you lost your Marble’s, yeah?
Looked upon, but only in shame, like you were Marvelled at.
Faded from naked eyes, so they need to take a picture first.
Yeah, I always win, like I was made by Victor Surge. 

Jean Jacket

There’s no denying I’m the flyest flying saucer
While you’re somehow proud to be the biggest thing from Something Awful?
Stanced up in every shot, like a Keyframe.
All the easier to feasibly whittle you a Peeled face.

Slenderman

Em and OJ really thought you’d get ‘em Oprah?
You’re a space alien, whose airtime’s been all choked up.
Jupe’s Claim screwed your fame, new game the two could play,
Dude named you untamed, who knew you were too raged to shake a toothache?

Two things to note, why call you a UFO?
Bet it stands for “You, Fuck Off.” Bro, it’s time to go.
‘Cause when it comes to NOPE, you sent the message clear,
A daytime horror will turn to night and disappear.

Jupe

Are you ready folks? What you’re about to witness
Is a world spread event known as the Slender Sickness!
But, uh… we heard no flows, just Sony offending victims…
So our next act is something that can…

Jean Jacket (True Form)

Measure the distance…

I am a being that is beyond your comprehension.
While people only ever cringe when your name is mentioned.
Do not fret this, you’re always someone that I pity, though.
‘Cause the only listeners you get come from clickbait videos.

Slenderman

With just my presence, I’m said to be the deadliest,
And I’m compared to this Biblically Accurate Jellyfish?
Ignored by the Oscars, we’re both things people can’t find.
But when it comes to attractions, I’m more wide known to mankind.

Jean Jacket (True Form)

The only time someone over the age 9 knows ya
Is when your stabbing’s cause a lot more than just paranoia.
You’re not worthy enough to be my prey, let alone competitor,
‘Cause stalking children doesn’t make you a real predator.

Slenderman VS Jean Jacket - Rap Battle

Light Yagami (Death Note) VS Goro Akechi (Persona 5)

writing: me
voicework: me
good mixing: special inquisitor rayyan
beat: dansonn

Light Yagami

This wouldn’t be the first time I’ve outwitted a detective.
Leave the Holmes work to Naoto, you’re more fit to the kids on your Reddit.
You should’ve known luck wasn’t on your side when you saw that black cat.
Call this your interrogation, I’m recounting your horrible life in a flashback.

Honestly laughable, fawned over nationally, star of Japan but a pawn of a radical.
Father’s not affable, saw you and tactfully brought you a chance to bring cognitive collateral,
Promising that adult total and mad control, fought with the Phantom’s and shot Haru’s dad a hole,
Got a whole palace full, cops went and locked up your conned confidant, but you’re caught by an animal?

(Embarrassing) I’m the real hero of justice! You’re a shadow shrivelling in shame!
(Prepare for this) You need to traverse a dungeon! I need only their name!
I tried to write your boyfriend’s, but his lack of one made things hard.
I won’t write Joker, but Joke instead so… do you feel a “change of heart”?

Goro Akechi

Actually, yes. It sank when it heard your verse. With your tricks, I thought you’d be versed with a curse.
Course, I counter such foul words, bow down to the detective crown of the Metaverse.
But a defective clown has no purpose, a worthless vermin like Shido has saw him,
It’s an omen when you furnish a pen ‘gainst a vengeful guard, so alert it’s alarming!

Don’t leave a calling card at the scene, I sneak in discretely going unseen.
You're feeble, falling apart at the seams when you’re beaten by some boring police.
Wanna kill criminals? Let the Black Mask blast this weakling fast.
Besides, I’m sure you’re used to taking this L and shoving it deep in your ass.

Light Yagami

To cleanse the world, I kill those who defile it! I muster justice without getting violent!
Stopping you dead in your tracks with a write-up, twice now you’ve fallen to look-alike firing!
Higher and higher I go, I am god! I’m blessed with the power to kill like no other can.
Funny, how mother can’t bother to suffer another year with you, now still, you’re in Wonderland!

You wanna talk trash, Akechi? What about your whole task, Akechi? Damn plan was messy!
From the get-go, knowing you’re the mole was bozo info. From Rank fucking 1 you were mad sketchy!
Hey, if it’s any consolation, a criminal being deduced with pancakes is a first for me.
But at least it wasn’t as disappointing as the turnout of your 25th Anniversary.

Goro Akechi

Hah. You really think that I’d let you survive?
What good is a heart attack when I’m hacking at your mind?
You think you’re untouchable, huh? Well, let’s test your pride
When I mentally shut it down, it’ll be your Last Surprise! (Persona!)

I was redeemed while you’re under six feet! To Bless, I am weak, but no blessings I see from you
Playing hide and seek right in plain sight, your dreams only paint lies, deceiving their frame of mind painfully!
Does your demise seem familiar? Why don’t you tell me how much it hurts
When your guts go All-Out in this massacre, and a breaking of faith in the mass occurs!

With that, the job is done. There’s simply no need to doxx.
With how Netflix did you, it makes sense that Light Turned us all off.
A Shinigami? Well, it’s the second time a trickster leaves god erased.
Along with your legacy, I’m throwing my glove down into your grave.

Light Yagami VS Goro Akechi - Rap Battle

Ben Drowned (Misc) VS Faceless Ayato (Misc)

ok trust bro i didnt even realize faceless ayato was a shameless copy of bendrowned until like three quarters through recording give me some mercy please 😭😭

writing: me
voicework: me
poor mixing: me
beat: epil3psy

Ben Drowned (0:18)

Pop from a cartridge into a dead game.
Land like a port ship, boarding your island state.
You’ll get scarred quick, targeting your headspace.
When I face off a swordsman, losing ain’t up for debate.

Listen close, little is known about this Ayato,
Except those fictional stories that scare thirteen-year-olds,
You’ve got no face ‘cause you’re stealing the basis of my legend,
That’s why I’m carrying you to a greater Ascension.

What’s lamer than Genshin? A change worth a quarter.
A terrible fate that you’re not saved; It’s YOURTURN.
I’d let this dork burn, but you’re quite the empty entity
Looking at your lore, it seems like you’re taking this L-egy.

Faceless Ayato (0:46)

*Sigh* How pervasive.
A mild virus wasted on childlike abrasiveness.
Quite alike how we’re chasing the player
But looking at you makes me glad that I’m faceless.

Haunted a modded ROM, then locked at the bottom of
Grandpa’s dusty old garage, that’s a terrible setup,
No cult classic, a kid outclassed by cult tactics,
Trapped in, forever outdated like your graphics.

I’m not a copy, just a better version of your tired trope.
What, being in a videogame ain’t what you might’ve hoped?
You jump through cables but couldn’t possess a microphone.
Let me give you a new reason to be a hydrophobe.

Ben Drowned (1:15)

You shouldn’t have done that, (STOP) 
But let’s have some fun, yeah? (PLAYING)
‘Least when I take up storage, (DROPPED)
It ain’t for some dumb app! (FRAMES)

Your time runs short when you’re coming from TikTok!
Trust, ‘cause I know a thing or two about quick clocks!
Tell me, there might be a need for a Mask mandate,
You came from the dark web, is that why you do blackface?

Faceless Ayato (1:34)

Re-generated lines? I’m not flamed by this AI.
Keep in mind, his brain stays confined in a save file.
In the Mind’s Eye, there’s no damage done in a hiatus,
But in Entertainment, you’ll remain nameless.

A fad from an age that’s long been past due.
Step off the podium, I stand atop this statue.
That’s you, putting on a mask for a better cause,
Not Covid, but for your pretend façade of a CleverBot.

Ben Drowned (1:53)

Wait up, something was lost in translation. 
How do you have lines when you’ve got nothing to say ‘em with?
‘Cause you stalk a bar-tender, but couldn’t get a tail end,
So let me make it known to the world how your tale ends!

Bled out to a friend gouging your head out,
Then found, spread ‘round the net but there’s been doubt,
BEN DROWNED sends thousands down to hell town,
Refreshed browser will turn a mess ‘cause - you’re next now.

Faceless Ayato (2:11)

Here’s TheTruth.rtf, you’ll drop into the sea when I release you.
Too bad you no longer have a .net to retrieve you.
And the next time you employ 4chan and occult kids,
Make sure they’re smart enough to follow instructions.

You failed to be an ARG but that’s hardly a mystery,
Ben is more malevolent, and his story is history.
The Moon Children wouldn’t listen when I had declined them,
So they choked on my flow, like you will. Goodbye then (Goodbye Ben).

Ben Drowned VS Faceless Ayato - Rap Battles of Whatever

Cheshire Cat (Alice’s Adventures In Wonderland) VS Schrodinger’s Cat (Misc)

mow

writing: me
voicework: me
poor mixing: me
beat: libra

Rap Battles of Whatever!
Cheshire Cat VS Schrodinger’s Cat!
Begin!

Cheshire Cat (0:14)

I am the Cheshire Cat, welcome to my Wonderland,
You want to battle rap? You must be hatter mad,
'Cause that plan is total cap no matter how you catch these hands.
Chess to your boxing match, tell me what comes after that?

Ah right. Your entire life fades. I think your mind ain’t the right place
Debating ‘bout a quantum space. Complacently my playground is the mental state!
Shove your stupid theories back in your box, you only prove your worth with words and talk!
Here’s an observation I made when I looked at you, your win is totally gone!

Schrodinger's Cat (0:40)

Cheshire, you best not mess with an experimental tester
Whether or not you enter my box, you will find you are lesser
Hypothesis of my pseudo-science, you shouldn’t be smiling when you eye my findings
Terrorising a tiny child like your writer then hiding in the lines like you’re pedo-filing, uh!

While my question's quite complex, you’ve literally lost your head. In my thoughts, I’ll 
Opt to forget this bothersome pet but I know it’s not possible yet, it’s a toss up 
Whether or not the probable end of following disses bodying disembodied
Heads get a fraudulent death, this has brought me ahead! Now, your defence?

Cheshire Cat (1:07)

What? What?
It seems like the real mystery’s whatever the fuck you discuss, ‘cause it must be
Like one big crusty bunch of duds who get stumped by an Amazon package.
Your argument’s like a rabbit, they follow it and your world collapses.

Schrodinger’s Cat (1:21)

You’re not smart enough to understand, you only ponder when it’s part of your Wonderland,
I couldn’t tell if you were intelligent when I looked at ya, y’know, like you’re Looking Glass?
‘Cause when you’re fighting the feline who’s neither alive or reaped, at the sight of me
You’ll fold when I deck ya with speed like the Queen of Hearts, that’s Binocular Rivalry.

Cheshire Cat (1:35)

My words chain like a catenary, cat’s are nary prone to form brawls with adversaries,
But for you? (Yes, you) The situation’s scary. (Yeah!) This foe spits rather hairy! (Uh!)
On the contrary, when you’re comparing us? I choose when I’m not lingering,
You’re a little Sphynx giving a silly riddle. (Who?) Schro’s more Schro-bingus! 

Either way, you’ll still be Flopping! They put your ass up for adoption! 
Frankly, your mechanic’s more quan-dumb, went from paradox to oxy-moron!
When you start talking, it’ll cause the alarm to detect my diss so toxic,
You’re gonna fail and pass away ‘cause like your later portrayals, you did na-zi your loss, bitch!

Schrodinger’s Cat (2:01)

It’s true that I’m locked in, caught in a awful coffin, 
But when I drop bombs in my box, the volume’s up. Call that shit sub-atomic.
‘Cause the chance you beating me ain’t fifty-fifty, the time’s dry.
When it comes down to people I talk to, this kid’s more Liddel Einstein!

I’m the classiest cat in this rap, you’re a sad has-been with a knack for distracting
Madness, you only ever spit Radioactive like my flask does when I Imagine Draggin’
Your flat ass back to the pasture - your past home - pass by your passport, now in the Lowlands,
I’ve seen Manyworlds, but the skill between us is plain to observe - like a Cheshire Gap.

Cheshire Cat VS Schrodinger's Cat - Rap Battles of Whatever

This battle was made in collaboration with Leo Barqui for the 100 Hour Challenge!

Rosenthal as Bermuda Triangle
Leo Barqui as Illuminati
Writing by Leo Barqui and Rosenthal
Mixed by Light
Art by Rosenthal
Beat by Ihaksi

BERMUDA: (0:20)

You’re not gonna want to view what befalls the people who cross Bermuda (cross Bermuda)
They’re lost and gone without proof, but it already seems we’ve forgotten you, huh? (-gotten you, huh?)
You haven’t got a lot to lose, for a secret society you seem basic
Makes sense you’re made of a bunch of tools when, you copied the Freemasons
I can’t even dream of trying 
To size up the sheep that believe your lies
To unite the elite to defeat the pious,
Act right but you’re really an equal side
Convinced that they’re different, the witless sit still in silence 
Within businesses and hidden from the light
They think they’re bright but with all that hiding
In the dark, you’re nowhere near being enlightened

ILLUMINATI: (0:52)

You call yourself the devil’s, right? Caught a couple bodies while I caught half the body of Christ
Disappearances crashing down in plain sight; visions with no explanation: pseudo-signs
Now a Florida man’s begging for a new chance, you should be warned in advance, I light a beat up
Open up an eye and see everything, while the only eye that you’ve ever seen is Katrina’s
After Van Winkle Ripped your story open, it became Fate that your shores filled with Sand
It’s less of an Argonaut, more of an Argosy when your pulp following’s traversed by Gaddis
You’ll be Lost in Limbo, on a road to becoming less learned of than Bimini
I’m in the pockets of every last heathen this weakening region’s decided to leave alive

BERMUDA: (1:24)

You got the wrong idea with your awful theorems, I’d rather you fuck off and leave ‘cause 
When you cruise through my Business, you’re gonna pay up - and I’m not talkin’ Visa
The only real mark that everybody has heard that’s Illuminati Confirmed
Are the eyes that mean God will and always observe, and it’s drawn on a bill with a dollar of worth
These fraudulent words of an entrepreneur aren’t killing the industry
(Ay) This hypocrite gives into what their rich members need (Uh) While I’m giving these sinking fleets entering me shipping fees (Ay ay)
You’re not hot with sixty degrees (Alright) Talk shop with the kids on your feed (Alright)
You're on top with a pyramid scheme, (Uhuh) but it’s built on a rinse and repeat of a billion memes

ILLUMINATI: (1:56)

Just as scattered as the theories you flare up; 
I drew in whole nations, you lost the Connemara
Claiming magnet pulls? Your only poles are the ones you lose; 
My influence kills, survivors landed in front of you
So pull out a compass, try to read it, 
But with Strict Observance you couldn’t even touch the needle
Theodore was in my pocket when when Bavaria could not show the 
Same human error that’s turning this fucking Connover
Claim I stole from the Masons? That’s tame when the same could be taken from the flights you hijacked
Even if that wormhole really does exist, I wouldn’t travel through it to earn this battle’s time back
So make like the Atalanta, sink down in shame since you’ve lost outright
I remain the top with no effort, and I rolled and smoked you like the Kusche you were downed by

Outro (2:28)

Bermuda Triangle VS Illuminati - Rap Battles of Whatever - ft. Leo Barqui

Funny Scrogus (Spelunky) VS Chimmy (Chimmy) - Rap Battles of Whatever

ThanosQuack as Funny Scrogus
Korekitten as Chimmy
Writing by Rosenthal
Mixed by Korekitten
Beat by Stoic
Thumbnail by Rosenthal
Special Thanks to dad_as_heck and garbageGothic

0:00

Rap Battles of Whatever! Funny Scrogus VS Chimmy! Begin!

Scrogus (0:19)

(Uh) Scrogus, the coolest rapper ever to be
Against dimwit Chimmy, but he’s no enemy, please
I’m a jellyfish, you die one single step in the sea
Consider this the second time you’re on a record and beat
You're not that threatening to me, I'm not even phased
How the hell is permanent walking a fucking speedrun game?
(Yeah) And your diet of apples makes it obvious
You'll never find a doctor and youll never fucking talk to one

Chimmy (0:38)

You know it's Chimmy so don't fuck with me
Who even are you? Dude, you make the ocean fishy
But it’s no surprise that when you go spelunking
You’re so outta place, it makes Scrogus Funny
Don’t need those OC’s to change your look, bro
I’ll beat you so hard, I’m achieving purple
(Uh) But you wanna know the most sad thing?
Your only interaction with dad is when he makes you a sandwich

Scrogus (0:57)

Oh, you jealous of the jellyfish?
People travel ‘round the globe to revel in my excellence
You’re a ghoulish creature. (Yeah) Nobody wants you
You must be demonic ‘cause SummoningSalt blocks you
And where’s your costume? Public nudity’s a crime, dawg.
I may wear shades, but you’ll burn my fucking eyes off.
No wonder people can’t even improve their speedruns
Playing your game is already the biggest time loss.

Chimmy (1:17)

Bitch, don’t come for my fans, that just ain’t true
The same people who praise you like to inhale glue
You’re crazy to think you’re famous dude,
You may have escaped a forgotten arcade game, but all your players did the same with you
(Yuh) And your wiki is a mystery
I’m missing the reason behind the hard R that you’ve hidden deep
I got the W, so there’s no runners left, kid
‘Cause it’s on the record, you’ve one/won second

Scrogus

Oh yeah? Well, Undertale 2
best game ever bitch. sans undertale eats ketchup. fucker.

Chimmy

Don’t even get me fucking started, if you know videogames at all, youve probably heard of chimmy. Released in 1983 for camoco vision box its one of the most beloved videogames of all time (fades off)

Funny Scrogus VS Chimmy - Rap Battles of Whatever

Reginald Tetra (Cemetery Mary) VS The Elephant Man (Camp Here & There) - Rap Battles of Whatever

PLAY CEMETERY MARY!!! AND LISTEN TO CAMP HERE & THERE!!!! because there are spoilers here GUURRRRRAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Quizzique as Reginald Tetra
M!CAH as The Elephant Man
Writing by Rosenthal
Additional Help by AlchemyKing, ThanosQuack, A Trash Artist
Art by Rosenthal
Mixed by Trakked 
Beat by ToneJonez
Special thanks to Mayfield & Belov, ArcadeKitten, garbageGothic, AlchemyKing, and the rest of the Maryheads!

0:00

Rap Battles of Whatever! Reginald Tetra VS The Elephant Man! Begin!

Reginald Tetra (0:18)

(Ahem…) Welcome, pleasure t’have met ya
I’m Reginald Tetra, and I couldn’t help but notice your poor sense of direction
See, the cemetery’s the next stop
For a rotten corpse like you, I could tell from the smell of your stench (Ugh)
So let me address the man in the room
Or rather, the elephant man harassing the youth
With how you're dressing yourself, the only magic in you
Was Sydney’s vanishing act that turned the camp to a coup (*Chuckles*)
Don’t masquerade as a prophet
With the simplest visions you make, it’s obvious that people leave you blamed for exhaustion
Though, you’d only steal glances when you break in to rob them
You got some screws loose, so let me put the nails in your coffin

The Elephant Man (0:55) 

Amen! Cease the prayers and the praise, friends!
Your game had acclaim, yes, but you just put the ‘claim’ in!
For this man? He lies! (Ha!) It makes sense for a ‘lay’man!
His fake talk of a dayjob gets paid off with a raincheck! (*Chuckles*)
Said you make coffins? (Well, well…) That’s a new excuse!
Once I’m through with you, (Hahahaha!) I can do that too…
Stupid fool, (Blasphemy!) and with every single route to choose
Time and time again, (Why!) you just end up out the loop! (No!)
They can’t uncover the Blackwood Butcher,
‘Cause you just hide the skeletons in your closet with rats in your cupboard,
And it seems you’re not the careful type, much like how that chair is tied
Your alibi’s not airtight, so-

Reginald Tetra (1:32)

Don’t you even dare of trying-
-To worm into heads with the worms in your mouth when you talk!

The Elephant Man (1:35)

You cut tongues, maybe consider your own? Just a thought.
Left in the dark so much, you’d fit as cabin doctor, no?

Reginald Tetra (1:41)

That cabin going dark is nothing to a Blackout Hospital
Vile, with one look you'd knock my lights out
But you're such a child, you'd get shook once the light's out
And I’m surprised how Sydney believes all the things you speak
‘Cause he only ever listens to you in his sleep.

The Elephant Man (1:57)

This isn’t fair to me! You barely know what caring means!
One night, you’re taking Mary in as charity, and when she finds the hair you keep
She’s too scared to scream because you’re there, it seems
You’re not just her doctor, you’re the reason she’s in therapy!

Reginald Tetra (2:10) 

Well, if you wanna get with a medic, then let this be your appointment,
You took toys from the kids and Sydney’s feelings to toy with
So they practised defense, but this bastard can’t get it
All your ideals aren’t grounded - now that’s astral projection!
Wanted a life with the dead guy? (Ugh!) You’re highly possessive!
Sent threats to find him, but you got the wrong kind of ‘director’!
Ever since then, you’ve been mentally backwards
Got a taste of your own medicine, and you still can’t reflect on your actions!

The Elephant Man (2:33)

I’m backwards? Your cold case is littered with antifreeze!
So toxic, explains the way that you’re treating your family!
Escaped the law in your plot, ‘cause you weren’t part of it!
You can’t pass bars to get to the conflict between Congress and Parliament!
I don’t know why you sound amused when expanding tombs,
Under the surface, you already got lots of ground to lose!
You hurt your love with Mary, now it’s down there too!
Your fans were shippers of a dead romance, now they’ll worship our muse! (Hahahahaha!)

Outro (2:58)

Reginald Tetra VS The Elephant Man - Rap Battles of Whatever

Sayaka Maizono (Danganronpa) VS Carlos Ortiz (Detroit: Become Human) - Rap Battles of Whatever

i was definitely planning to upload this for halloween! happy hallows ebe! 👻

haileygolden as Sayaka Maizono 
Spadical as Carlos Ortiz 
garbageGothic as Mia Fey
Writing by Rosenthal
Mixed by Trakked
Beat by Pendo46

Intro (0:00)

Rap Battles of Whatever! Sayaka Maizono VS Carlos Ortiz! Begin!

Sayaka (0:12)

My name is sayaka, but i dont wanna know your name
Look at that, you cant fit your ass through the doorframe
But if you did, (yeah?) you wouldn’t turn the knob (uhuh?)
You couldn’t get your ass offa the floor to get a fucking job (damn)
I’m good at singing, so I’ll share a few notes
Last night i gave your mother 28 stab wounds bro
Y’know, your stank ass corpse was left bleeding here for hours (yuh)
We should switch spots cause you really need a shower (yeugh)
I go hard with the bars im singing (yeah yeah)
With all those bottles, you don’t need bars to drink in
it’s got me thinking bout the bots you’re killing
Its quite ironic that *you’re* not the one living! 

Carlos (0:46)

I didn’t hear a thing you said, didn’t get that
You think your words got me dead? Bro I’m deadass
Baseball star stabbed you, and now I’ll do the same thing
Hey, your blood’s pink and I’m a racist
Your rotting ass blocks the pass to get to the toilet
But diss me for smell? Can’t have a shit in detroit, bitch
Your boyfriend was wrongly blamed, could barely solve your case,
Those digits couldn’t point at Leon when you scrawled his name
It took metal to beat me
Your plan to get out got turned on you, just like the stupid message you’re leaving
Said you believed in him, Makoto’s dumb enough to buy it
He couldn’t notice all of the red flags that were rising

Sayaka (1:20)

Nice try, but I can actually perform on mic, ‘cause like
I’m the one who’s idolised, you’re more the idle type 
You got a robot ‘cause you’re too lazy to do the chores you make him do
But in the end, he made sure that you paid your dues

Carlos (1:32)

Bitch, you’re just a fake, tell it to the kid who’s printing away
A million pages of this fictional babe
To fill up his place, but lemme just say it’s not that big of a waste
‘Cause when I swing I won’t be missing your face

Mia Fey (1:42)

Objection! Taking the stand, it’s Mia Fey!
I won’t let this racist old man make any claims!
The defence is ready against this dead guy,
But your smell is one more thing that's gonna give me a case!
I’ve read the files, and when he gets high off red ice, 
He’s bound to slip if pressed just like Redd White
He won’t need to get a life, I just gotta tell my client
Set aside the weapon knife, he’s already dead to rights

Sayaka Maizono VS Carlos Ortiz - Rap Battles of Whatever

Quizzique as Spamton
Quizzique and garbageGothic as ENA 
garbageGothic as Moony
Writing by Rosenthal
Art by ATrashArtist
Mixed by GamingPlush64
Beat by moodindigo
Thumbnail by Rosenthal
Special Thanks to Quizzique, garbageGothic, ItsNugget, and GamingPlush64

Intro (0:00)

Rap Battles of Whatever! Spamton VS Ena! Be-

Spamton (0:10)

HEY EVERY !!

WAIT, DON’T MEAN TO [Delay the Action]
BUT HEY, IT’S ME, YOUR FAVOURITE SALESMAN: SPAMTON!
YOU’RE PRETTY IGNORANT IN BASIC CHATS SINCE
YOU’D [Talk To The Hand!] WHEN TRANSLATING LANGUAGE!
I’VE BEEN THE BEST RATED SINCE [[1997]]
BUT YOU’RE QUITE THE [[BIG ONE]], WITH 9 FEET I’D REACH [h e a v e n . . .]
I DON’T DOUBT THAT YOU’RE THAT HIGH, WALKING ON AN ACID TRIP,
BUT YOU SHOULD [Use A Car!] IF YOU’RE LOOKING FOR BANANAS, KID!
[Step Ahead], BUT YOU CAN’T GET THROUGH THE CROWD
SO YOUR WHOLE SERVER DELETED, NOW YOUR CONNECTIONS ARE DOWN!
FANS GET KICKED LIKE A [Brick Frog], NO INVITES TO [Click On]
THEY’LL GET SO- THEY’LL GET SO- THEY’LL GET- [[Hyperlink Blocked]]

Ena and Moony (0:43)

Ah, I thought it’d be another normal auction day
‘Til I saw the things you got for sale and see, I gotta say
You- sold your own old socks? I think I’m vomiting…
Your cold heart for cold hard cash got you a frosty grave…
I can’t wrap my head around your wacky random sentences,
All the things you're telling Kris are making me- BLEH- BLEH- 🌊
GEEZ, I get sick HEARING you say THOSE WORDS
You CAN’T MAKE SENSE! You can’t even MAKE KROMER!
😒 Ugh… Yuna, are you drunk again? No! (nonono!)
I’m only taking shots at his puppet head! (🌚 Oh hohoho!)
You talk a big game in brackets, but lately you’ve become a sham!
I can’t tell who’s the true conman… but Tumblr can!

Spamton (1:15)

[i got a secret...] FOR WHEN THE INTERNET’S DOWN, TOO!
THIS EASTER EGG IS CALLED [[Kill Yourself, Now!]] (👀 Ooo!)
CONSIDER IT WELL, IT’S [Only For A Limited Time!]
FORGET THE GARBAGE, WITH YOUR NONSENSE YOU'VE BEEN [[LIVING A LIE!!!]]
I MEAN, JUST ASK MIKE WHAT YOU SHOULD GET RIGHT!
[[can anyone hear me…? hello…?]] IT'S A DEAD LINE!
[HAHAHAHA!] BUT I KNOW THAT MUST BE HARD FOR YOU!
YOUR TEAM GOING THROUGH [[BURN!!]]OUT’S THE ONLY DREAM BARBECUE!

Ena (1:37)

Your punches are too soft! You must be weak!
The only strong things here are those cups of tea!
Ran a popular shop but when your problems arose,
You only wanted to run! To run? Turron!
And with how long you’ve had them waiting, fans are out of patience!
How funny, the puppet’s made to be the fandom’s plaything!
Just a cashcow for Deltarune…
Always had your back against the wall ever since you’ve had milk in you!

Outro (1:58)

Spamton VS ENA - Rap Battles of Whatever

Recorded March 2024

4/12

Prod by Raias Beats


Intro (0:00)

Rap Battles of Whatever! Vega VS Black Dahlia! Begin!

Vega (0:10)

Finally, a brawl that’ll warm me up
Like your DLC, the wait’s gone on for long enough
Not just the guard for the boss of the mafia
Dahlia’s more a doll-with-a-tommy-gun
Hah, so quaint
This faux-name phoney stole my “Olé”
So frail, you’d get broken over old age
Even went and dislocated the Fishbone Gang
How stone faced, I bet my words barely hurt on the surface
Nothing’s more demeaning than to work at the circus
Madness, you’re no beautiful assassin
It’s all worth shit when your troupe’s full of rabbits

Black Dahlia (0:41) 

Who are you again? I can’t tell with that mask
Some Contiello brat or a cunt yelling forgettable facts?
Great attempt at getting me mad
But that requires me to pay attention while I’m shredding your ass! (Oh ho ho ho!)
Some bullfighter you are, it’s futile to try since
You let your name get taken by M. Bison
Allege I’m fake? Well Vega, I’m surprised
You pretend you’re stealthy, but won’t die in silence!
Such ugly shrieks when you bleed from my load of weapons
I wanna hear you scream, not yodel, get it?
Ugh, the time’s wasted away,
Now I’ve taken too late, and you’ve been taken too late (d’aww 😢)

Vega (1:11) 

It’s odd with a body of weaponry
That you’re not all as sharp as you’re said to be
You lost all your memories,
So go forget yourself, you don’t want to be testing me!
Both Lab Zero and your avid bloodthirst
Left thousands underneath a crashing structure
You’re as savage as your fans’ cancel culture,
I guess you really are built to be anti-Skullgirls

Black Dahlia (1:32) 

You’re chasing Cammy but it’s best you quit trying!
Damn moron, just let the bitch die!
Triggered her killswitch, but that’s when you switch sides?
Got your kicks by getting your ass kick-dived?
You killed your father and had him move from abusive to absentee,
A lot like your dad, you grew a duel personality
You want everlasting youth? I’d redo all those tragedies,
But sadly there’s no one left for me to shoot in your family

Outro (1:52)


i actually wrote like 90% of this in nov 2023, but i ended up updating a couple weak spots in the writing and rerecording with my current mic.

well here we have it. i consider this the start of like, my consistent era where the positives outweigh the negatives imo. this battle in itself is just very solid. decent punches, consistent rhymes and flow, adlibs that make sense for a fighting game battle. ive always been surprised how well the writing quality holds up, considering a majority of it comes from nov 2023. i guess thats just a testament to how comfortable i feel when writing to a boombap beat and epic ass characters like vega and dahlia, but in the end its all up to the brain worms so ya never rlly know.

if i could change something abt this battle, itd definitely be cleaning up the messy flowy rhymey bits in vegas 1st and dahlias 2nd, because they sound good but are still reaching for that setup and would have benefited a lot from actually planning out a punch. especially dahlias, since the connections were there, i just couldnt pull it off better than i tried at the time.

Vega VS Black Dahlia - 12 Bars of Dissmas #4

Rosenthal as Beelzebub and The King In Yellow
Writing by Rosenthal
Mixed by jordy 
Beat by SAINT-DROP
Thumbnail by Rosenthal
Special Thanks to Leo Barqui, HazelMoth, and TheMonarchy

0:00 

Rap Battles of Whatever! Beelzebub VS The King In Yellow! Begin!

Beelzebub (0:23)

Hah!

Attempt to go ahead and fuck with Beelzebub
Without sending one of your lackeys to go instead of ya!
When it comes to spreading, buddy you’ll be in second ‘cause
I got infectious bugs and plagues you’d be jealous of!
To draw followers, I mess with their brains!
While you follow them, giving schizophrenics a chase!
The time you’ve spent is a waste getting America’s faith
Don’t you know that they’re all basically already insane?!
You think you’re deadly? 
I’m getting rid of your religion when I tempt priests!
‘Cause this idiot is thinking that he’s led sheep
But your minions are fiction! You live in the abyss, bitch! Your kingdom is empty! 
I’ve aligned with false gods
But you won’t join me in Hell when you’re tied to Carcosa!
I’ll offer an octopus a name that rolls off the tongue
You’ll thank me once you’ve gotten to taste my Baal Zebub!

The King In Yellow (1:07 )

Don’t talk.
You’re a fly, how you’re giving our hopes up.
Put your lights out, your evening star goes dark
Die thou, in dim Carcosa. 
Sit and listen to the sermons. I assure, this vermin’s verses fit within the church hymns,
Your words are perfect when they serve as my disturbance
For the sin that you seem to be, you’re not fit for the evil deeds
You’re lessened to the representative of obesity.
All your followers have fallen and faded from your grasp
When you enter the battle like a plague upon the land
My face is not a mask, but I’ll stop what you had spewed
‘Cause I’d raise my palms and clap if I wanted to catch you
I’m impressed, the lord of flies can gather hordes of insects
But I’m repelled and horrified you’d rather lure in children
You’re Satan in some cases, and in others you’d oppose him.
Your name may be vague, but you’re clearly revolting

Beelzebub (1:50)

Think you’re terrifying me, shouting from your ivory towers?
You’re the ‘Yellow’ King! The prime example of the ideal coward!
No self esteem, your identity’s been disguised with your powers
‘Cause underneath, you’d be a lifeless cadaver!
I’ll raise the stakes like Salem, making flames that end your life!
Slow burn torture makes you the King in Yellow - Light!
The Streets cut you short, but I’ll arrange your fate today
And turn this patron of shepherds into a patron saint!

The King in Yellow (2:12)

You’ve yet to live up the sin of gluttony’s name now
You lack the bite, but I’ll help make you break down
You’re nauseous already, ejecting bile and spitting puke
But jaundice won’t be the only yellow signs you’re victim to
It’s fitting that your cults are all unstable
They’re tripping trying to follow a fallen angel
I rule over lost souls, your loss is no different
I’ve controlled you the second that you saw what I’ve written

Outro (2:34)

Beelzebub VS The King In Yellow - Rap Battles of Whatever

Recorded July 2024

5/12

Prod by Anywaywell
Special Thanks to JustGamer

wow this battle is too long! heres the doc link to the lyrics!

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1vGIGrGoyUxjEdOP2oh19RCQyKqzmrzGztdJfektdpf8/edit

listen im sorry okay, i attached this beat to this mu back in my frog era and havent been able to undo it, this beat is catchy fuck you.

welcome to the pandering battle. i love smosh, i love prozd skits, and i wanted to make a battle for the fans (me). though, adding a bunch of cheeky references resulted in a couple bars being stretches and a couple of corny lines that don’t really work if you don’t get the reference which makes this like, a buckets of charm battle for me. like, the battle equivalent of jingling keys.

one thing that i try to do with all my battles is have a special little gimmick that gives me a reason to listen to it again, and this battle’s gimmick is the cameos, which makes sense for the fanservice battle. i think i was able to pull them off in a way that made sense, and im happy w that much at least.

The Chosen VS Dennis - 12 Bars of Dissmas #5

Recorded August 2024

6/12

Prod by Boston MG
Special Thanks to ToonyLoony

wow this battle is too long! heres the doc link to the lyrics!

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1G9yhn2qEhK__y4y2DDNPo0oHrEyz2DKYRFUJ-HOZRK4/edit

sorry for the same series matchup its like deadpool vs wolverine but with characters i care about.

soooo yeah the whole idea with this battle was that id advertise this as x23 VS ladypool as a nod towards the whole wolverine vs deadpool thing, but then gwenpool would take ladypools place as a fun fourth wall break because ive been a huge fan of gwenpool and i would literally kill someone to write a gwenpool battle, but obviously doing something that relies on a trend puts a timer on the battle and welp, the best before date has passed by a while ago.

also! shoutout to toonyloony, who was cast as x23, for chiselling and feedback. they were really pleasant to speak to and super eager to contribute, which was a massive relief for someone like me who gets very very anxious always all the time. unfortunately just being busy sorta delayed this project and i wanted to let this demo out into the wild because im sorta just incapable of finishing it haha. they rewrote a couple things to make the performance flow a lot better but since i never rerecorded those changes into he demo, none of them are in here 😶

one thing that i try to do with all my battles is have a special little gimmick that gives me a reason to listen to it again and this battles gimmick is that gwenpool does the fourth wall breaks and x23 does the fight section of the battle. i really like using gwenpool fourth wall breaks to like, tell the listener to loop the battle or to call out random meta shit, and im proud with how i organized the fight section which hopefully made sense. 

if i were to change anything itd prolly just be writing laura better. especially w better punchlines, i was attached to a couple of ideas that, in execution, didn’t really work out the way i thought. but oh well! hindsight is 20/20.

Gwenpool VS X-23 - 12 Bars of Dissmas #6

Recorded September 2024

7/12

unknown (0:11)

Sorry, have you seen my dog here? He always likes to go wandering
From your plot to your profits, i know you've seen lost things
You cut corners with promos, of course a bot cheats
With those prompts you turned Roald Dahl into Dall-E

We both like to lure in unwary victims
Except I’m the one here who’s made a killing
If your whole livelihood is just scaring children
You would just need to say you’re British

Uh, forget your lemonade, get some aid for reparations
You’re not getting paid when you make the yellow papers
No more cheques remain, better brace for impending failure
Because you’ll get erased, the way I’m breaking generators

unknown (0:45)

Jesus Christ, what the fucks wrong inside you
Bitch, you look more ai generated than i do
But if im someone you really wanna imitate
Take my mask, you can use it to hide that shitty face

What’s that? It’s the unknown, you dumb twat
You think I’ll run? Hah! I’ll only ever run scams
I’m in your walls, I’m someone you won’t catch
Unless the building gets testy and you phase through the map

That’s not the only BHVR problem with you
You gaslight women, that’s not fucking cool 
Just a big hallucination from the oompa loompa meth lab
Cause thats prolly where we cooked up that stupid goop grenade crap

unknown (1:19)

You lacked the awareness to quit ever since conception
Typically, you stand in front of the mirror when reflecting
Though, you’ll get to feel a real chocolate experience,
When I treat you to the taste of the sweet release of death

unknown (1:30)

Well, you’re not killing me, but you still suck
Looking at your code, we both have gibberish scripts, huh?
I’m uncommon. You’re ugly. I’m Wonka. You’re wonky.
Your found footage shows you won’t ever get a 4K

unknown (1:42)

Your ineptitude in putting in effort isn’t an excuse
Do not improv. Learn to improve.
Witnesses disappear as we forget your story
For no one remembers a dead meme: Memento Mori

unknown (1:53)

Get the fuck off the floor, you toddler, want a jellybean?
The BFG’s fucked up son isn’t scaring me
Those yellow teeth, however, YEESH… dja need a gobstopper?
‘Cept you’ve already been wiped clean when the Fog gotcha
Fokkin periick


sigh. relevant rap battles of current events. also sorry for my terrible attempt at a scottish accent. to do the demo i watched like two videos of the unknown girl speaking and then let the ghosts possess me 

don’t really like this one. i fw like, the first 8 bars and beat and then the rest was sort of just slog that i wrote to release this stupid ass matchup from my shoulders. I wrote those first 8 bars during the peak of the wonka thing and my shortlived DBD phase, and then i sorta just ran out of steam. then one random september weekend i decided to finish it alongside jesus vs socrates. like, this walked so jesus could run. quote that, atheists.

like, if i could change anything about this, itd just be like. idk literally just making it better. the structure makes it sound like it ends too short, and each finisher actually just doesn’t make sense. this battle should literally be like, cut off at the end of the first verses and be a drb short or something.

The Unknown VS The Unknown - 12 Bars of Dissmas #7

hi! i wrote this over the course of three days to study a certain writing style and i decided to use this matchup as my vessel for that. im not gonna like, move on w production for this cause 1. the writing isnt *that* much in character, and 2. casting this battle makes me wanna kms a gorillion times, so thisll do lol. more skullgirls rap battles on the way 😋

BB Hood (0:04)

Gran, was that you? I heard a sound in your room
A massive kaboom, or was it Peacock spamming her moves?
Not just bullets you’re riddled with, it’s parasites too
If they eat at you like food, I got an apple for you (boom sfx)

What big eyes you have! I mean big eye sockets
Peek the ‘9, cock it, leave new sight options
See how I stalk this bird of prey?
This battle is a hunt, and we’re both game

Yo, Bonnie carries the shotty, this rotten carrion’s shoddy
I’mma shoot the worms out a cuckoo bird, and now your clock’s clean
To forget war, they stuffed this turkey with tech parts
While I’m dropping bombshells, you’re just getting shell shocked

You and the confidant you had lost your land
She’s a maid because the battles swept Rommelgrad off the map
So call the rest of your moronic friends that your mind invented
My army men will target them and really make ‘em nonexistent

Peacock (0:45)

Hey doofus, my crew ain’t as stupid
What’s truly cartoonish are those supersized troopers
I move with the Unit, we jump you til your body’s squashed
Pounded to an ounce of your life like “we’re on it, boss!”

Yeah, you’ll get flattened under an anvil’s weight
But that’s okay, you’re fine with what you carry in your hands all day
A gat, a blade, and grenades, the amount of things is maddening
You’re hammered with hammerspace, that basket makes you basketcase

Now she’s goin mad, leaving harmless wolves attacked
I’m worried cause I’m from the lab, and she’s hunting labs
Return your pet puppy back before you do something rash
She isn’t a lumberjack but in her eyes, he would get axed.

Your granny needs your care, I can tell she is getting thin
But you’d rather chase the rush of bloodshed and adrenaline
While she’s rushing to her death, she expects it’s impending quick,
But don’t worry, I was there, you know I’m friendly with skeletons

BB Hood (1:24)

Your ammunition’s only wacky references and kiddy stuff
If I’m BB Hood, then you’re BB Gun
She ain't tough, speaking with mafioso voices
You only like Annie cause you’re a homeless orphan

Better run before I cut your throat. Behead a bird:  cooking show
Your blood’ll pour, spray and spread it everywhere: rubberhose
You want a wish? Then I’m crushing your funnybone
You’ll really be a Skullgirl the second that your body’s roast

Peacock (1:44)

Wait, you ARE nice, I can’t disagree
You don’t purge creatures, you defend your land from the freaks
And selling organs is business, it’s not actually greed
I guess the real sociopath here… is me!

My clown car’s a pick up when I drive, it’s ensured
Hit the fender, Little Red is now riding the hood
Then I’ll crash into your cottage, your childhood home’s flaming
Your beautiful memory’s gone, and crying won’t save it

Outro (2:04)

[SCRAPPED DEMO] BB Hood VS Peacock - Rap Battles of I Do What I Want

Recorded November 2024

9/12

Prod by MotorolaProd


Jackie (0:10)

Oh, don’t look up, it’s just a layer of dirt
Because you’ve been dead, it’s what you’re laying under
Is heaven up there, I wonder?
If you need a barrier to find out, then I’ll just bury ya first

There’s ups and downs to life, and we both get to the top
But forget about the Pros, you just fell for a con
Just like the times when you’re leaving enemies demolished
The lesson you taught fans is “take the leap - in logic”

And you can’t live without players having to give you stuff
Getting made into a deus ex machinima
Just a stale trend that twitter loves
Til they turn around and leave you for dead like they did a 360 jump

Evbo (0:42)

Where I’m from, no one jumps for the beef
Instead I’m jumping a chicken who’d rather jump ship and leave
Say I’m abandoned, but you’d stop your trek at every moment
This crackpot recalls their kettle when they get homesick 

And- wow… the littlest kind of misinput, you’re gone
It’s why it took a fortnight just to finish you off
Your endless climb blew up, and got you high views
But I can reach higher peaks with a vine boom

I know how to make your family not poor
If you jumped off a building, it’d pay the bank what you’re charged for!
You got beaten by your dad til you got sore!
And now as an encore, I’ll beat you in a battle of parkour!

(Does a backwards 360 jump)
(Vine boom)

Jackie (1:13)

[Go back to your job counting sheep.]
[For the thought of your freedom is all in your dreams.]
[You will not last if you keep going where you’ve gone last]
Since the parkour races, you fell off fast

But you can’t wipe out with the hand-me-downs that god offers
You got boots - and a whole lotta plot armour
Your series keeps repeating beats
It’s such a dead horse, I’m shocked your PVP is really weak

Evbo (1:38)

Woah! You skip so many stories, leaping on beds!
I feel the effect, I was sleeping on everything you had said
But congrats on forging your own pathways in life!
By forge, I mean the stolen assets you plagiarized!

Wanna go to space? You would die with no air filter!
But making the jump to blockchains killed your game quicker…
With no saves, every mistake’s making your players bitter
Maybe being let off Steam would help relieve those ragequitters


we’re officially in the slump era. i wrote this and my heart was just not in it man. theres a couple of good ideas here but i didnt do much good of a job selling them and it just sounds kinda corny. i like evbos last four lines in his 1st tho thats what sold me on writing this shitass battle. wish i got to utilize this beat for something better tho lol.

Only Up! VS Parkour Civilization - 12 Bars of Dissmas #9

Recorded December 2024

11/12

prod by Big Bro Collective


pac

Ay, wake up! This a battle so don’t act like it’s naptime
Bro, you’re less Rayman, and more of a manchild
Baby has grown tired, lay down and rest up
Play with your mobile: Rayman Siesta

Dish out a taste of pain if this glutton runs his mouth again
You know you’re getting served, bro I’m coming from the cabinet
You’re coming from France, but with that accent you’ve got
And the hands in the air, you giving up or hailing a ‘cah?’

Cause that floating body sorta reminds me of the ghosts I’m chomping
So I oughta go and drop him, like Ubisoft did
You’re a relic of time, I’m ageless with fans
“Rayman Legends” is right, you’ll stay in the past

ray

You a pie, cheese wheel, fortune cookie or what? 
I’m really sad if you aren’t, because I’m hungry as FUCK
But I heard that you’re serving me? You’re a fatass pizza
And I’m sick of you already, that’s Pacman Fever bitch

Drop the power pellets, steroids are wack
They turn ghosts blue, but they’ll do worse to your nads
And make your girl so sad, yo she prefers what I have
You ain’t got the balls like I do, check the urinal ad

Ay Miss Pacman won’t miss Pacman, you cuck
I pack a punch, pack it up before she yells “PAC, GET UP!”
So I don’t care what the FUCK you gon say,
You already lost, bro. You’re stuck in a maze

pac

Yo, the moment you got birthed, you looked up your mom’s skirt
I’d say keep it in your pants, but you should get some on first
And they say he’s supposed to save the land? Pause
You ain’t a stand up guy with no legs to stand on

Cause he mimics the way his friends all behave daily
Like your namesake, it’s obvious Ray tracing
You bit off the Rabbids, but you’re the one with rabies
Explains the crazed gibberish whenever you say things

rat

Oh you think you’re fucking hilarious with that stealing shit
Took Fozzie’s waka waka, now you’re the comedian
Bro, the fact is that you’re part of the issue
You’re so unfunny, Adam Sandler wanted to kill you

Yo, and what’s more wack than that is how you are at home
You beat your kids, Junior and Baby, like it’s Smash Bros
Miss Pac goes “I wish my husband dies like Namco”
Moral code’s so bad, only thing you can’t beat is bad code


silly little battle and second of the anti slump battles. i also wrote this one in like an afternoon and never looked back, which felt so good just to like, shit out all my creative energy. 

i was watching a lot of frak battles at the time and i really loved how he did angles, and just the whole way where he’d make some shit up for laughs and i wanted to imitate that same energy for rayman. like, sorry pac fans but i was hella biased to keep him as the straight man to highlight rayman lol. originally this battle was supposed to have writing inspired by exociety but erm….. teehee! i forewent all that and rolled with my own shit which did well for my mental.

i think i struggled finding an identity for this battle during the first few parts, and found the sauce in the middle of raymans 1st. i had been attached to a couple of bum ideas in their 1st’s but once i broke out of that like, bar machine mindset and did my own thing with actually setting up an angle with a punch w/o worrying abt material and references, it felt so good and i think that sorta mindset can really help make my writing more cohesive and consistent if i were to ever return to making rap battles seriously.

Pacman VS Rayman - 12 Bars of Dissmas #11

Recorded December 2024

Prod by KaalaH

gilg

I’M IN THE ASIAN CONTINEEEEEEEENT

I heard you got a long tail/tale
Imma grab and rip the spine attached if you gon bail
Talk smack but under the cover, you would rather run and flee from your crew
Yapping with no action, funnily your book is too

Yeah, I made this wannabe, ‘son’ is true
I was king first, you just Monkey See Monkey Do
But I guess that goes a bit of both ways, huh?
When you’re - BOW BOW BOW BOW - hit with the laser

But nah, I’m more of an axe thrower so if you stand closer
Taoist poem shit, splitting headache that make ya scalp sore
And that’s for damn sure if you’re disrespectful
You should be used to messed up temples

You ain’t even contendin
The Great Sage smoking great sage if you thinking that you’re equal to heaven
What I meant is, I’m saving the land from you, Sun
You know you can’t escape from these hands, like Buddha

sun

Woah there fella…
You’re a broken record, your own story’s split up
You’re a broken record how I do so much better- wait
I’M the broken record. I keep fighting tyrants, you’re not even worth the effort 

I wonder, is this guy the perfect ruler?
He sure does measure in height, but shortens futures
I fuck up festive nights, ain’t first to do it
You took em wedding brides, inserted grooming

Like, homie damn, I’m sporting the golden band
So it hurts thinking how you waste gold and bands
All for a statue honouring a fallen friend
He’s clay molded! Just use his corpse instead!

gil

Then I’ll take this stone monkey, be a stand-in or be shattered
I’ll honour Enkidu by teaching this beast manners
You’re ignorant to what pains your people
You see no, speak no, hear no evil

Grow up and get with the times, it’s not something you’d know of
You’ve been under a rock, Iraq’s what I’d rule over
From eating pills to scribbling on a page
Of course you’re immortal, this kid never had to age

sun + clones

Oh yeah? So Gramps couldn’t bear it like I did
For you, that’d mean, uh… forever-life crisis
But kick my ass? I’ll kick ya ten times back
Ask the clones, monkey’s known to throw shit like that (shit like that)

YO HOLD IT DOWN! Like what you told your pal
Before you found it cursed him to choke on bile
Recounting your old story’s wild.
How’d he really croak and die?
A load of bull is why

I’ll impart to you my wisdom and secrets
When I help you turn into a shit ton of pieces
They’ll find him fractured like the first time that they found his tragedy:
Evidence of a crowd of animals and catastrophe!


the last battle of my anti slump era and also the last battle of this little event thing. ive had gilgamesh vs sun wukong as an idea for a while, but never got to making it just because i had to think ahead when making battles and finding a middle eastern va was a whole thing i didnt want to deal with, which is fair enough i think. when i got the idea to write this as an anti slump battle, i got excited cause i love mythology and folklore and literature and shit, and i really wanted to implement more stuff i learned from battle rap not only writing-philosophy-wise but fun-reference-wise.

on that note, i based gil’s writing on not only diz’s aggressive story writing but sorta real sikh’s writing style too since ive recently become a big fan of sikh and his style. i based sun off of battlers like rone and pat stay, specifically their “rapping” style where they just have fun w rhymes and flow and vibe w it. i previously tried to apply battle rap style to my peacock battle, and i think this one is a good evolution of that.

i think this battle couldve easily had third verses since theres a lot of shit i didnt touch on both sides, but the beat doesnt rlly fit a longer length, and making long ambitious battles isn't really the goal for anti slump battles. i just wanted to write some fun shit to hone my writing without worrying about the stress of making serious stuff, and that mindset made the process much more enjoyable for me.

Gilgamesh VS Sun Wukong - 12 Bars of Dissmas

Recorded April 2023

1/12

prod by THAIBEATS

woww this shit old!! so old that i gotta link the damn doc bc i used to write my battles looong.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Mb-_EUZlNG0kQGJGGrD68dKPK7OCouZh9ELkaQ5_IoY/edit

just as a disclaimer for those who dont know, im releasing twelve ‘scrapped’ demos up until christmas eve that ive written throughout my whole frb existence, from my frog beginnings to my current state, which im doing for a whole lot of reasons. 

i think this was the perfect battle to start off the 12, since absolutely everything about this battle reeks. the matchup is reddit as hell, the jokes and punches are corny, unwarranted, and are mostly reaches, and the beat and flow are just so steezless. not to mention it has that old mixing preset i used to put on my demos that makes it lowkey grating to listen to. its definitely my lowest valley, but i think that the difference between this and the last of the 12 will make that last track all the better. 

you can definitely pick out like, a small handful of things that show promise. at this point, i had a grasp of meter and flow (just not how to properly utilize it for punchlines or like, rap in general haha) and multisyllabics (in the lowest form), but its easy to tell that i was still feeling things out. i had no idea how to use them to my advantage, and thats why this battle really feels like a sludgy word salad. ive found out that happens when you dont write with intention and purpose, like knowing which bars are actual bars and not slop, and having the foresight to work with the beat instead of just stumbling on it.

i hope you all have the patience to sit through my froggiest shit, recorded with a mic that peaks half the time, because theres better things on the way. 🐟

Twitch Chat VS MSPAR - 12 Bars of Dissmas #1

Recorded September 2024

8/12

Prod by Raias Beats


Jesus (0:21) 

Socrates, child, say your prayers and get on your knees, 
God will bring forty days of rain to cleanse your awful deeds
Tread the sinful path with no sandals and now your body reeks
I honestly should use this opportunity to wash your feet

Your entire philosophy is going “Why?” constantly
You’re always the opposite, so be a lamb and get off my property
You want to be contrarian? Then I oughta be
Making your sad life a Divine Comedy

Ironically, he stayed when he was caught then freed
His conscience seemed to haunt him since his court hearing was simply an Apology
Follow God’s plan if the one that Greece had got decreed is not your speed
For I’ve shown him the Lord knows how to plot a scheme

Socrates (0:51)

You’re right, he works in mysterious ways
I wonder, for someone who loves us, he’s seething with rage
He must’ve just flooded his follower’s ears with that rain
‘Cause God sees all, is that why the church is fearing the gaze?

(Ahem) You don’t practise ethics with that old-fashioned metric
The Socratic Method will show that you’re method acting as a peasant
For he had inherited his dad in heaven’s status and yet as an act to blend in, 
He was found defending… tax collection?

Betrayed the Jews, now you’re removed from their chapters
And it ain’t communion, but I’ll chew out a cracker
Don’t need a thousand eyes to see past his ‘miracle’ magic tricks
Clearly, White Jesus isn’t biblically accurate

Jesus (1:21) 

Alright wise guy, oracles knew you were finicky
See, you screwed your delivery before this superstar hit the scene
You can keep winging debates with tirades and spiels,
And throw in a Hail Mary, cause I’ll take the wheel!

Who’d put money on Devil’s Advocate? It’s in God that We Trust
Poisoning the youth won’t fend the hemlock you drink from
But look back, I carried you, the mark you’ve made has faded too
You eat your student’s words up as his mouthpiece, like a Plato food

Socrates (1:41)

Whereas your name is something uttered in vein
When your blood is whine, people call you just to complain
‘Cause your own temples are corrupt if you’re looking for something fishy now
The way they’re multiplying their dough should have you flipping out

Can we suppose that with your stepfather, you’re a son AND holey ghost?
For if Joseph taught you carpentry, I’ll hammer it home
He’s proud with how you had croaked
The nailed hands and feet show you were next to be an Average Joe


not much to say abt this one. i wanted to try and experiment with angles so i went w like, jesus’ first would have the whole ‘socrates’ scheme as a cool thing, and then i *tried* to write socrates’ first as closely as i could to socraticethod w just a bunch of questions and then ending off w the “white jesus isn't biblically accurate” thing but it kinda just fizzled out :/

if i were to change anything its be polishing the socratic method angle and then keeping that level of quality consistent through the rest of the thing. thats p much it haha

Jesus VS Socrates - 12 Bars of Dissmas #8

Recorded November 2024

10/12

Prod by LethalNeedle


rump

The devil’s very emissary himself
Really wants to lend a helping hand to get me some wealth
But the jester dress he’s wearing must embarrass him, how does it feel?
Before I say “What’s your deal?” I’m starting with “What’s your deal?”

It’s your last straw and I’ll turn it to gold
Have a crack at your glass jaw, bitch I earn what I’m owed
Cause I’m the real master of returning a pact
I guess our tasks swapped, cause I’m serving your ass

How did the swindlin’ traitor
Get a game with God who straight-up robbed your win in it later?
You’re getting outplayed here
In trickery, it goes me, him, then you place third
It’s rigged in our favours, you’re just real good at favours

meph

It isn’t wrong, I’ll make anything you want, bring it on
I grant wishes, while you’re a Wish.com leprechaun
Seeking glass? Here’s a grand mirror for your ego
Both are easily shattered, weak, can be fractured, and feeble

You’re an alchemist, churning out gold with your magic
Though, a tantrum’s your only explosive reaction
Tragic… You’re literally a mini-me
Found him in the Faustian Bargain Bin for free

Speaking of Faust, anything you might add?
Please kill yourself. I wish that I had.
Well said, but he’s already done that
How many breakdowns can one have til he breaks down to one half?

rump and The Queen

Bring a friend, he’ll catch the strays I send ya
Think your alias: I’m boutta take out fellas 
Cause I rise above you both, same as Gretchen
And we’re both getting rid of babies... hey queen, tell em!

What
I won’t give you my child, fuck off
Go away and pick on someone your own size, a dog

I am, though he’s not just a poodle, he’s a butler and slave
You see, it’s funny how this wingman has fallen from grace 
Took Greek mythology dames to profit off fame by dropping their names?
I’d never, and I swear it on my own grave!

meph

Ah, names, right. Yours was… unimpressive
It was something witless like… dumbass dipshit
Or nutsack nitwit…! Ah, that must’ve been it!
grrRR IT’S RUMPELSTILtskin- oh FUCK I BIFFED IT

So Faust my dear friend, how shall we end this garden gnome?
I dunno… make his heart explode…
Yes… but afterwards you’ll get to have your baby as well
When I send you to work in eternal labour in Hell… 

wait wait waIT AAIT WAIT WIAT AGHHHHH - pop!


so this is in my anti slump era where i was just really going thru it and needed some outlet to take my mind off things, so one day i just opened a doc and went off and this was the result. i think that mindset of like, writing whatever i wanted w/o even thinking of what comes after sorta helped a lot for my mental, and i like, actually had fun writing? for once? lol

on like an actual critical analytical level im sure the characterization and accuracy for both guys are like, 95% off, but i liked playing up and flanderizing their personas for the rap battle, it really helps with the dynamic and just makes things easier to deal w on my end which makes sense if im just writing to write lol. like, i fucked up a couple of punchlines and if i were to revisit this id just like, fix those, but overall i like the little gimmick i did, the whole rumpelstiltskin name thing and dying. very fun very silly and helped a lot with clearing mental fog

Rumpelstiltskin VS Mephistopheles - 12 Bars of Dissmas #10

prod by prodbyTY

pappa

Ay ay ay ain’t no intro needed for my arrival
My rhymin’ style on the mic’s unrivaled
So why don’t I go make like your title
By the time we fightin’, I slide on Slider

Look, I’ll teach ya flow and rhythm in my rounds
Cause you’re only on time - for an empty crowd
Where are you now? Ask his fans, they forget him too
Used to visit when they’re sick, now they’re sick of you

They play my game and go “TURN UP THE SPEAKERS!”
They play your game to sell TURNIPS, THEN LEAVE YA
And trading villagers is actually baffling
Really got em out here playing Animal Trafficking

I got every dude here vibin’
While anyone who listens to your music’s silent
On a stool and idling cause your tunes are tiring
They moved on to new horizons after New Horizons

kk

Well, you seem new to this
If you like to follow directions, then I’m asking you to sit
You freestyle just like your free coupons, kid
No real meat to it, all noodlin’

Not tough enough to fight a foodie
Ain’t the first time you’re last in line for duty
But I get why you’re always so stressed
Cause you- only- speak- whenever you’re- pressed

So chill, don’t listen to the things TV’s say
You’re getting too comfy tryna sleep with PJ
I mean, I think I know why you’re cheating
When you’re paper thin, you fold easy

Pissing off Sunny, like dogs do plants
Your series is so old, yet you’re still not a man?
Then take notes from the Boyfriend who’s actually getting laid
He’s got better game, and a better game

pappa

Lemme reverse it back
But the only thing I learnt from that is how to spit a verse that’s trash
And I’ll expose the fact you’re just a fake dog
If you’re KK, then I’m KK-Dot

Ain’t hip, you rich, don’t pretend
Fly in to islands every weekend
So ya noble persona’s a wack scam
You ain’t a dawg, just an industry fat cat

Slave to his sales, carbon pawprint’s giant
You gotta stay in a cage whenever dogs go flying
But being vacation hotspot for KK is not hard
Three stars? Nah, I’m a Playstation All Star

Sending a track to every player that asks
The mailman already thinks that you’re a pain in the ass
But I know that all your songs got your name included
So call this rap battle “KK Loses”

kk

I am successful, you’re not wrong
This dog gets the bag, no chihuahua
But I spread lovely vibes with the money supplied
You barter with a frog cause your wallet’s nothin’ but flies

But it stuck, you’ve become a sellout 
Because that frog’s been at the top of your head now
You talk about scams when you’re conning your fans?
Like your small house ant, that’s far out, man

They want to meet Dred, dreaded meetin him
He took the fees, then - never seen again
Spent so much time yelling on Facebook
But never used his voice for the thing he was paid for

And that is the problem you got here tonight
That’s not what they mean by ‘dropping the mic’
You give up when it’s hard, your own motto’s a lie  
Never took it to heart, when it’s all in the mind


hi! welcome back to a new different version of rosenthal battles where i sort of just dont give a shit about anything past the demo stage because i cba! 

after monika vs junko by michael stark released i got really fuckin hyped to write so i started writing this. it was originally gonna be death the kid vs stocking anarchy but then i realised the beat vibes fit parappa and kk slider better so i made the switch.

im a big big fan of parappa and less of a big fan of kk slider, so i didnt really need much material to get writing done since i grew up w both these guys. this specific battle was inspired by angling, since i loove getting creative with angles and just making up untrue bullshit cus its fun and creatively stimulating. like, obviously kk isn’t some secretly greedy asshole and parappa isn’t actually his va and his slogan is fake, but its fun to play connect the dots with that information.

Parappa the Rapper VS KK Slider - Scrapped Battles of Whatever

prod by JEFFJENKEM

ghost

Do you like scary movies? I don’t like yours:
The overglorified torture porn
Even with so much gore, your film ain’t rough enough.
Heh… pretty funny, huh?
Once I cut out the blood and guts, I’ll bring it up to snuff

I’m horrorcore: do it like I’m Voorhees or the Torrance sort, 
So expect a kid to get his torso torn
Vocal chords screaming “mommy!” as I’m growing close
Home Alone? Well, you don’t know for sure

But I’ll get a little festive with it when I visit
Hear doorbell’s a-ringing, now Kev’s a Christmas spirit 
No answer? Then I’ll enter like my knife does
Grab the handle, twist it, and leave the inside sliced up- OW FUCK (*hot doorknob*)

kev

BOZO! My traps’ll ward you off!
I set them all up while you monologued and waffled on
Your victims get away? Take advice from their escapes
If you’re having trouble with the door, try the stairway! (*hit with paint can*) 

HAH, you fell again!
Since you slip a lot, I’ve prevented it (*steps on nail*) 
‘Cause I’m sharp and a step ahead!
If you like stalking on women then 
I know another creepy crawly you can befriend! (*spider attack!!*)

Ghostface, you should be honoured and proud
You’ll finally get put in the papers when your body gets found
Because you'll live up to your name if you don’t walk yourself out
Once you trip on one more thing, you’ll end up haunting this house

ghost

I’ll show Kidzbop Kramer a real rip off
They’ll struggle putting you together if you’re craving to be Jigsaw
You’re soulless like his puppet as well! You’re an expert!
You’ll get wheeled out, too! On a STRETCHER

kev

Stretch is right! The ghost’s franchise is dead!
If Scream gets too long, it’s a pain in the neck
Good thing you mask it up with voice changing effects
When you’re stabbed, you’d yell like me in every chase scene you’re in

ghost

In this verse, one more Ghostface assists me with this
But I heard there was more of your flicks, and I’m pissed
Cause like my accomplices, a second’s expected
But not the third, or the fourth, or the fifth, or the sixth

(*multiple ghostfaces appear and chase kevin*)

Fuck a second me, I brang a never-ending me crusade
Meant to beat and maim Dennis the Mentally Deranged
Wanna bash our voice? You should take a tip
For when you made the scripts of all your later films and fuckin’ change the pitch!

So which one of us will get the kill now?
It’s a free for all, like you’re Kevin MacLeod
We’ll tear your throat out if you’re yelling so loud
It’ll be a Silent Night once you’re dead in the ground!

(*they got majorly juked by kevin, they stab a decoy*)

Wait, it’s just a cutout on a shitty old broom!

kev

(*kevins at the top of some building pelting them with bricks*)

I’m awful surprised you got the wrong guy
It’s your signature move
Cause all your narratives share a template
Wanna be bricks in the wall? Oh ho, you’ll get bricks!

Always partnered up, and it baffles me
Only for stabbing sprees, never romantically
You wanna gut ‘em because you’re gutted they’ve had enough talk
But you’re just hung up on the fact you get hung up on

(*one ghostface runs away from kevin’s brick assault into the city streets*

You haunt your daughter far from where you started off
You got Lost in New York after you lost the plot
Because her mind is a mess
But when you’re dead, she’ll be like how you’ll get this violent dent: 

Old Man Marley:

Right in the head

(*old man w the shovel oneshots ghostface*)


hi! welcome back to a new different version of rosenthal battles where i sort of just dont give a shit about anything past the demo stage because i cba!

i actually started writing this after christmas 2024 and had both first verses done before i went MIA, but during my break i eventually chiseled this down til i got where it is today, and im happy w how it turned out.

it was also very fun to write kevins 1st, with all the trap shit. i didnt know how to convey that kind of physical comedy purely through an audio format so i hoped the sound effects work haha

Ghostface VS Kevin McCallister - Scrapped Battles of Whatever

prod by SAINT-DROP

than

I’ve conquered galaxies
Stars and planets kneel before my massive fleets
All is grasped between my palms so Ganon’s region is not worth vanquishing
You’re called calamity incarnate? That’s the name they oughta had for me
Cause if you reincarnate, then this body’s guaranteed

Your power’s so finite
Only spanning three timelines
You’ve been a bore in my eyes
And I don’t mean the swine kind
You’d die twice when you and a child fight
But I’ll help rewind time
You then got a fresh start when you met your demise like

You hide in fortresses til a half-pint warrior kills ya
Just a sitting duck when you have no Courage and Wisdom
You’ve only ever had Power, cause when it’s in my hands
You’ll end up just as empty and barren as your own desert land

gan

Pity… for an Eternal, you’ve no eternal youth
I get purple too, but only when I look at you
Horrid creature, being born a leader is what I’m suited to
It’s my birthright, something that you couldn’t do

Girlfriend’s a skull head, I’d say he’s just as dense
Cause this weak man can’t see that he’s slave to all her whims
So much cowardice that now his own face has gotten split
Cause you’re an ace at being able to take it on the chin

You can’t conquer - any star that you find
When Nebula’s your daughter - and you’d toss her aside
And you nearly ruled the cosmos - but you thought your - artifact died
So go on and have mine, for YOU just seem to LOSE power all of the time

than

(*thanos gets the power triforce and uses it to complete the infinity gauntlet*)

You just made a mistake. A grave one.
The Cosmic Cube then or your Triforce now won’t shape up
So cough up your armies and squadrons
Ironic, I slaughter your gauntlet of bosses with a gauntlet

(*thanos starts fuckin, bashing shit round hyrule with the gauntlet*)

With how you store your currency
You can’t afford my mercy
When your rainbow shards are scattered far and they get lost in random pots until a boy goes burgling
In the homes he lurks in
So I’ll show him what a REAL home invasion’s got

All of your goblins and Lizalfos’ get chopped to death 
And it’s obvious to me that any sort of Guardians aren’t a threat
You’re a lunatic, your planned purge was flooding the damn Earth?
I’ll do Hyrule a favour and snap - before you snap first

(*thanos snaps*)

gan

I applaud and laugh! You left my army halved!
But they’re only there to ensure I get a proper match
You really dare to split me in two? You’ll see me halved then…
Cause now you’re talking to GANON

(*ganondorf kinda just doesnt care and turns ganon*)

Some rodent left your MASSIVE ASS FLAT
So if you’ve mastered betrayal, you’re better AS A DAMN RAT 
I’m the only person that you CANNOT BACKSTAB
Cause you’re no rival, I’ve a dark side THAT YOU CAN’T MATCH

But Thanos, know I’m thankful for the crafts and forces that you’ve brought
For after your defeat, your men will fall under my grand control
To have the stars and beyond is a chance I hold
But first I now command you all to bow before Ganondorf, your brand new lord

(*ganon takes control of thanos’ fleet and goes on a big space adventure :3*)


hi! welcome back to a new different version of rosenthal battles where i sort of just dont give a shit about anything past the demo stage because i cba!

this specific battle was inspired by this one battle rapper named jey the nitewing, who is like the definition of aura, so i wanted to write a battle that sorta encapsulates the mad king energy. some other battlers that inspired this writing were dizaster and real sikh on ganon’s side, but this is mainly inspired by jey in general.

for this battle i wanted to focus on setting a tone of like “you dont fuck around w these guys” and the substance of the disses sorta suffered from that, but ermm i kinda uhh dont care lole. hopefully i was able to deliver what i wanted thru the writing and performance, but im just glad knowing that i was able to pay good tribute to the mad fucking king 👑

rosenthalfishes

Popular tracks