This one's about the greatest actor in the world, Shia LaBeouf.  Yes, this was recorded several years before all that "Actual Cannibal" nonsense.

Featured members:  Slick Deuce Deuce, T-Diddy, MC Jerk N' Squirt, H.R. Motherfucker N' Stuff

Lyrics:

Shia LaBeouf the best actor on earth
His gargantuan penis is of incredible girth
He rapes grizzly bears and they come back for more
Fuck me shia, megan fox is a whore
Forget your Eagle Eye I just want your brown one
Spread your creamy goodness on my face son
When I watch all your movies I scream like a kid
Nothing makes my cock as hard as even stevens did

Chorus:
Shia LaBeouf
The man whose dick is rough
I just can’t get enough
Of that sticky stuff
He rams it down your muff
Dayum those balls are buff 
You know that I don’t bluff
His pubes are really tough

When I saw Wall Street 2 it tightened my pants
Starring at your hot bod really puts me in a trance
Disturbia ruled, yeah that shit was the bomb 
You know every time I watch it I stroke my schlong
Then there’s transformers that movie was sick
Did I tell you that I’m Indiana Jonesin for your dick?
The greatest game ever played, man that film was a blast
I wish you’d take that golf club and ram it up my ass

Chorus

Yeah you’re one hot jew, and your body’s perfection
When I see you on my TV screen I get an erection
You know that I’m no homo, but I just gotta say
That I jack off to your poster at least 3 times a day
I’d like to taste your balls, I bet they’re salty and dank
I’ll stick my face in your ass so I can smell your stank
Then shit on my chest and rub it in with your butt
I’ll do anything you want baby I’m your filthy slut
Chorus

Paint N Ur Taint

Ode to Shia

Sick track about Black History Month.

Featured members: MC Jerk 'N Squirt, H.R. Motherfucker N' Stuff, Slick Deuce Deuce

Lyrics:

It’s February bitch, the month of black history
So take it off and show your fucking tits to me
Free them jugs like you’re Harriet Tubman
Whip off your shirt and there won’t be no strugglin’
I’m Samuel L. Jackson, real American hero
Biggest black-dicked mother fucker in this show
Protecting our country from those snakes on a plane
Making sweet love to bitches till they scream out in pain
That’s right I’m also a Jedi, watch my lightsaber slice
As I use my mind tricks and my nuts to entice
When I tbag your face I’ll break all of your noses
Then I’ll part your red cheeks cuz I’m the black Moses

Black history
It’s the one time of year , when all the world remembers that black people are here
Black history
Let them all have a voice after all we know it’s true they didn’t come here by choice

Hey yo it’s Rick James bitch the first funk master
Making money from music so I can get my drugs faster
I’m a real Super Freak just got high at two thirty
I party all the time just ask Eddy Murphy
Yo the name’s Morgan Freeman and I once played God 
You know all the ladies long my fucking foot long rod
I was smokin’ a blunt while I was drivin’ miss daisy
Got high off my ass to narrate Million Dollar Baby
Member the Dark Knight, yeah I was high then too
And one thing on my Bucket List is going to the Zoo

Black history
Fuck you crackas and Jews, if we play you in sports you know that you'll lose
Black history
Yeah we’re tough like statics, shootin you down like you’re Crispus Attucks

Yeah I’m Will Smith and I don’t always act black
Cuz my lyrics are clean and I don’t smoke crack
In my movie Hancock I had all kinds of power
But in most other movies I just stand naked in the shower
It’s Tiger Woods and yes, I’m half Asian
But you know I’m half black by the white chicks I’m banging
I dominate at golf showing whitey whats up
But I also crashed my car and my wife beat me up

Black history
This song was mean to inform and stop racism from becoming the norm
Black history
Yeah fried chicken’s the bomb I’d rather be eatin’ it than singing this song.

Black History Month

New Track about past and future presidents.

Beat can be found here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=61blXuemQF8

K-Money:
I don’t know much about these presidents but I know about deez nuts
These nuts in some butts that be old as fuck
So I’m hollerin’, Hillary what’s up?
With dead presidents on my mind homie
Dead presidents on my bed
Presidential suite with a tasty treat
Jill Stein giving me head
Now I step to the podium presidential speech in hand nigga
All Americans well they look at me like I’m the number one man nigga
Like I got all of these plans nigga
All my laws they getting’ banned nigga
Shut the door to my oval office while your ovaries get my red rocket like

K-Money:
Joe Biden
You know my nigga’s flow ridin’
Shit sipping, while my bitch dipping, with an ass full of drippins
Pump a magnum full of cum while I’m eating fried chicken
Let my gas spray you like a diesel
Reading books like my nigga Elie Wiesel
Get a plate at a buffet line
Serving stacks of them squizzel
But go ahead and call me Monica
I’ll blow ya like a harmonica
You’ll be screaming “Lordy No”
Like Larry Craig at the glory hole
What a hypocrite with a nasty dick
I’m in the next stall

K-Money:
Smoke for days
Got me feeling like a motha fuckin’ wizard when I’m in that haze
Like K-Dolph Schmittler
Dead presidents I grab a shovel dig ‘em up 
Form an army like I’m Hitler
Call me Walking Dead
Negan be crazy as fuck
President of the apocalypse
Mike Pence sucking up on Trump
Election, kill the erection of our direction
Hairy are my nuts
Yeah I be sucking that butt: Rimjob dyslexia
Like Paul Ron I’m old as fuck
Clinton got that Hilary dick you know that Bill gonna suck

MC Jerk N’ Squirt:
MC Jerk N’ Squirt
Makin’ that pooper hurt
Anal fistin’ for days love playing in the dirt
But just in general
They call my Colin Powell
I’m gonna stick my dick up in that colon now
Trump got that bowel disease, Ulcerative colitis
Hillary bit my nuts, gave me that Zika virus
Get her to lick my taint
On her knees like Kaepernick
She actin’ like a pussy
Call her Bruce Jenner’s dick
John Kerry’s purple hearts, won them in Vietnam
Blood comes out with my farts
Gets all over your mom
But my Obamacare will fix that in a pinch
By the way Obama’s wife looks just like Marshawn Lynch
I’m like Romney’s underwear: Magical
Eat society’s ass like a cannibal
Get fucked up like John McCain’s face
Shoot my cum right in your safe space
Feel the Bern cuz I got VD
Urethra hurts every time that I pee
Rhymes are smooth, what can I say?
Bout to blow your mind like you’re JFK
Biggest dick that you ever seen
Jerk N’ Squirt 2016

The Second Coat

Presidential Stuntin'

Hot new track from "The Second Coat"

Beat can be found here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gcJKevlpFeo

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCmgZsBvfs_ZY9iudaHtqLTw

K-Money:
Late night chillin’, dick’s been willing
To enter up in anything hands to the ceiling now
Hands to the air now, hands to the sky
Still trying to get past that mistake where I
Misconfused that dude for a chick
Talk about a 360 on my dick
I been praying to find a girl next door then surprise to my eyes
The house next door, curtains open
I see a figure in the windows twerkin’
Getting undressed and my eyes start lurkin’
Harder and harder my balls start hurtin’
My hands start sweatin’, eyes get glued
I see her drop the pants and start to get nude
Dammmmn shawty, that booty so huge
Walks that ass right into the bathroom
Man, I gotta know
What that girl look like face, tits and all
Praying to god that I see that face to match that angelic gift that connects those legs
This girl, I bet she’s so fine
Waiting for the day when her eyes meet mine
What a story we be tellin’ to our kids, how I jacked off to her ass and made a mountain of jizz
Oh shit, the very next day
Curtains open and my eyes go cray
I grab that lotion, grab that Kleenex
Makin’ sure I’m ready for whatever happens next
Off come the pants, then mine too
Just how I remember that booty so huge
She turns around and to my surprise
Big dick follows. Fuck, this bitch was a guy

K-Money:
I’m blowing that herb, and I’m puffin the pump and sippin’ that syrup and your bitch in a yurt
She dropping her shirt and she’s waiting her turn
Hoes that read like a novel, she want me to coddle her head like a bobble
I’m popping these bottles and going full throttle
She’s strutting that ass, she look like a model
Now she’s stripping I’m tripping, my mind starts flipping
Now my hand has a grip and I’m feeling a tip and it’s making me sick
Two balls in her pocket and the stiffest red rocket
As my hands starts to move, repetitive motion I’m jerking a dude
Have my eyes deceived me? I thought just a breezy
But turns out that she is a heezy
Damn, that bitch was a heezy?

Man's Vest Tight

Track about the classic Nickelodeon show iCarly.  Let's be real, probably the best show to every hit the airwaves after Full House. 

Had the link to the beat but it was taken down from youtube so I don't know what to do.  I know, here's the lyrics.

MC Jerk ‘N Squirt:
Emerald city
Got my camera ready 
Live in apartment 8-D
You know my name is Freddy
Yeah that’s Freddy Benson
In case you didn’t know
I’m the tech producer 
Of the iCarly show
But it’s hard to work 
When you’re infatuated
When we’re in the studio
I just want to get naked
Yeah I gotta tell her
My love is like no other
Carly Shay
I wanna fuck your brother
Work of art
That nigga’s name is Spencer
And I wish he’d fart
While ridin’ on my member
Yo, Carly and Sam
I’m sorry but you’re whack hoes
I can’t stand the smell
Of your spaghetti tacos
Now head back to my house
Spencer’s comin’ over
I’m gonna get lucky 
Just like a four-leaf clover
When I reach my front door
I know that something’s wrong
Walk in my bedroom
And Spencer’s fucking my mom
Go back to Carly
Take her to the attic
Then I turn the lights off
So she can suck my fat dick
Yo, we doggy stylin’
So I can see that ass though
Sam smackin’ her ham
Right outside the window
And I bust my nut
Then we random dancin’
What a fuckin’ night
For anal and romancin’ 
When the lights come back on
I’m feeling really shitty
Because the whole time
Turns out it was Gibby
I guess I shoulda known cuz I hit it from behind
With every thrust I felt his nuts hit mine
Sam Puckett laughing cuz I fucked a dude in the butt
But she can go and suck it while I’m lickin’ right on her cunt
My dick slides in just like this baseline
We 69in’
Clean up then drink wine
She said she’s worried
I said “It’s okay honey”
Because I’m handin’ the mic to K-Money

K-Money:
Miranda Cosgrove put your hands on my balls
Lather with lotion
Workin’ on that jack motion
I’ll have you suckin’
On my micro-shaft
While Nathan films
A secret webcast
Get out that iPear
I’ll make you my Au Pair
Upload it to the cloud while I’m smokin’ on that loud
You know
Make you feel like 
You’ve found a safe haven
While rubbin’ on your muff you’ll be screamin’
“That’s So Raven”
Jennette McCurdy you’ve been actin’ really dirty
Posin’ with that ass out 
You know I’m cummin’ in that Bushwell
I guess it’s just a plaza
That’s where I’ll be jackin’ 
While Jerry licks my nuts 
My load he will be gaggin’
Noah Munck you’ll be slammin’ on that back cunt yo
I’m feeling giddy while you’re pounding on me call me Gibby
Mary Sheer get that ass right over here
And twerk on my shaft ‘til I spray it on your ear
It’s a weird fetish 
But I guess that’s all the same
As long as I blow my load
No I don’t feel any shame
You know
When I look you in the eyes I’m gonna have to jerk
So let me pass that mic back
To MC Jerk ‘N Squirt

MC Jerk ‘N Squirt:
Nickelodeon
Always on my TV hun
Dan Schneider got them shows that make me whack off on my sofa son
Always getting’ my salad tossed
While I’m watching Drake and Josh
When that show got cancelled I denied it like the Holocaust
That shit was glorious
Just like Victorious
Knockin’ me off my feet
Call me Oscar Pistorius
And Brittney Spears’ sister
You know I can’t resist her
She got herself knocked up before I had a chance to fist her
Those shows are dead and gone
Chin up, gotta move on
I just might kill myself at the conclusion of this song

Yo Dan Schneider
You mothafucka
You know what you’re doin’ nigga

iGnarly

A best of compilation for your listening pleasure. Songs include (in order):

Presidential Stuntin'
Aquamarine
iGnarly
Man's Vest Tight
Anxiety
Who We Be Settin'
Black History Month
Leave Arnold Alone
Red Baron
Bike Dyke

Our highly anticipated new album is on the way sometime in the next 0-2 years.

T-Bag and The Taint Painters Best of Compilation

Lyrics:

Tuck my dick and I'll show you a fruit bowl 
while youre starring straight at my asshole. 
It's like Chewbacca with a acne ridden teen
choked up in a headlock pants full of cream
Like goatse man my ass got that gap though 
from late nights of getting slammed in my shat hole
So get your hombres and have em all lineup,
like a glory hole my ass is never closed shut 
You'll be fapping while you sunbath, 
dreaming of my shit slit all the way till Sunday
Buy me gifts, like a golden fountain
I'll let you call me Ennis like its Brokeback Mountain

Me and my brothers got that loud shit, My gas meaner than a feral pit, we burn through lbs like cheap tacos, while getting pounded in our chocos.

Prolapsing anus while I relapse, it's my mission to make a nigga cream fast, 
get Vaseline by the tub full, and jam my balls deep in your back hole Hole in one's but it's my dick in your butt.
I'm yelling four while I'm shitting in the line of yo putt, bitches bending over and they showing their cunts, I could get used to that
yo bitch you better move your shadow before my dad freaks out and grabs a ladder 
sets that's shit up while he hops on top like the hardy boys he hopping straight on your cock. 
SWANTON BOMB YOU KNOW IT. 

Me and my brothers got that loud shit, My gas meaner than a feral pit, we burn through lbs like cheap tacos, while getting pounded in our chocos.

Fruitbowl

Lyrics:

Lived under water and I'm tryna holla at Ariel
Oh shit was a Disney flick turns out that bitch wasn't even real
Some nights I drink so much I get real sloppy huh
Thinkin' about hookin' up with that bitch named tilapia
But I been dreamin' of lobster shrimp and caviar
Sockeye coho chum and ahi tuna are my favorite yall
Took me awhile but I finally realized this
I wanna bury my dick deep inside a fish

Swimming through the Frank Ocean my gay thoughts are on son
I'm gettin' down on some male dolphins
I don't give a fuck son cuz this life's so lonely
I wish I had another human hand to hold me
but these Mondays are unreal
Got me sentimental
even if they was real I couldn't split 'em down the middle
I'm Livin' down here like Ray-J with one wish 
and that one wish is to fuck
To fuck a fuckin' fish

Ariel got that one wish
Ariel fuckin' that fish
Ariel got that one wish
Ariel fuckin' that fish
Ariel got that one wish
Ariel fuckin' that fish
Ariel got that one wish
Ariel fuckin' that fish

See that mackerel swimming by and I pitch a tent
I control the fish’s minds I don’t need consent
I’m the Cosby of the sea, telepathic powers
Entire ocean is my toilet, constant golden showers
My trouser worm is the bait and you know I caught em
I contracted Krusty Krabs back in Bikini Bottom
Going down on Mrs. Puff I don’t need no guidance
It’s the only way for me to get my boating license
Winter comes Sandy Cheeks got that hibernation
Watching her burying my nutz in her brown location
Squidward jackin’ off my dick with his suction cups
Play me like a clarinet for a couple bucks
Flyin’ Dutchman coming over with his spooky ship
Clean my cum up with that sponge I don’t give a shit
Got a dinghy in my pants some call it a schooner
Watch me stick it in your Weenie Hut….Junior

Ariel got that one wish
Ariel fuckin' that fish
Ariel got that one wish
Ariel fuckin' that fish
Ariel got that one wish
Ariel fuckin' that fish
Ariel got that one wish
Ariel fuckin' that fish

Beat here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ybVMuDAxPQ

DEMOs

Aquamarine

A little diddy about the best pizza place in the valley.

Lyrics:
Bitch I'm playin' games cuz I'm rollin' Yahtzee
Layin' in the cut, eat Fazzari's yeah you know it's Shotsy
Play a game of cat and mouse while I eat that house
Eat your pussy like a taco
Slammin' on that ass like my name is Macho
My dick's a little grimey, and my tip is rather slimey
You know they call me Wimpy when I whip out my linguica
I got that mustard on my tip you know they call it yellow
But I keep it mellow, while I'm slammin' on your LO

Ricardo's
Suck my dick
Southway
Suck my dick
Tomato Brothers
Suck my dick
All you copycat motha fuckas
Suck my dick

All you copycats about to feel my wrath though
Cuz your cheap imitation, it tastes just like my asshole
We'll have you screamin' "Mommy" while you're strokin' our salaami
And then I'll yell "Shabam!" as I pound your ass into pastrami
It's real disgustin' when all my nuts are bustin'
That pus drips from my wiener and a day later it's crustin'
Cuz we got the meats and cheeses that make you scream for Jesus
Stick my dick in your sauce and give you my diseases

I ate at Southway once, their food went through me fast
An hour after I ate I peed straight out my ass
I had Tomato Brothers, it tasted just like mud
The next time that I shit I swear all that came out was blodd
I went inside Ricardo's, yo that place fuckin' reeks
It only took me once slice and I didn't shit for weeks
I only eat Fazzari's, they don't play you for fools
I eat there twice a week and always have real healthy stools

Ricardo's
Eat my shit
Southway
Eat my shit
Tomato Brothers
Eat my shit
All you copycat motha fuckas
Eat my shit

Untainted and Unpainted

Fazzari's Finest

Little diddy, 'bout eatin' at Red Bento

Lyrics:

Twisted off this twisted tea, 
like im twista Twisting my words
twisted on them nipples like a game of twister with your sister 
tried to fist her, 
hands on yellow 
Jaundiced tits
Eyes like shit 
So brown you know thats shes full of it
But let me back up off this beat now. 

K$ wears the crown in my fridge lets figure out
Eating on some ice cream 
Snackin on my hidden stash
Bitch im feeling like its heavyweights 
Stuffing on my fat ol ass
Sucking up some sushi likes its water from this cup of wetness 
Fills the table 
You dont have to say it 
I know that I fucked up 
Snacking on that spicy stuff 
I can feel it in my gut
Oh shit oh snap im a frog and feeling frothy 
Freshness has escaped from me and you know what im trying to say
Im gonna throw that curry up and save it for another day 
And you dont even have to say
And you dont even have to play 
But if ya did i think we'd be all better man

(Wretched Diarrhea sounds)
Dragon jizz murder a milkman
Spicy food sooth it with semen 
 All the things that give me heart burn
These are the things that give me heart burn 
Burning in my chest and it aint gonna stop 
Till I get them tums in my tummy 
Utoh! my poops will be runny 
I got slurry from the fury of currry in my bowl
My bowel movements are wetter and better then the fold between her legs
But shes a mexican I'll eat her out 
That second hand spice crystalized and it gave me gout
Utoh I guess I should've had some beano 
Fuck it
Daredevil like I'm Evil Kenevil

Got that bento box at the red bento 
With the spicy curry 
Now to the bathroom you know I'm gonna hurry 
Pineapple curry 
Take a big hit
"Damn dog, its spicy as shit"
Paint a toliet like a Jackson Pollock
Sprayed it everywhere
There was blood some of the colors of the curry, it was like a rainbow, but a real fucked up rainbow
I had diarrhea

iGnarly

T-Bag and the Taint Painters

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