When trouble comes knocking meet the one man dumb enough to answer the door.

When The Pan of Hamgee encounters some mudlarkers trying to land a box on the banks of the River Dang he is happy to help. Having accepted a share of the contents as a reward he cannot believe his luck. It contains one of the most expensive delicacies available in K’Barth, Goojan spiced sausage. If he can sell it, the sausage might spell the end of his troubles. On the other hand, knowing his luck, it could bring a whole load more.

Includes the gripping 11 mph barge chase, possibly the only one in modern literature.

Suggested UK cinema rating for this one PG (parental guidance)

This is a humorous science fiction fantasy story set in a parallel reality.

Sample of Too Good To Be True, K'Barthan Extras, Hamgeean Misfit No: 4

This is a chapter from Few Are Chosen, K'Barthan Series: Part 1, 
Written M T McGuire: Read by Gareth Davies

Our heroine, Ruth, is walking home late at night and realises she's being followed ...

Here's the blurb so you know what it's about:

Meet The Pan of Hamgee: coward, unwilling adventurer and, by some miracle, K’Barth’s longest surviving outlaw. He just wants a quiet life so working as getaway driver is probably a bad career move. Then he falls in love at first sight with a woman he hasn't even met who comes from an alternative reality. That’s when things really begin to get complicated.

Meet Ruth Cochrane: she’s the Chosen One, destined to play a pivotal role in saving K’Barth from a cruel dictator. She’s never heard of K’Barth, though. She’s a public relations executive from London and she’s totally unaware of the chaos about to hit her life.

Meet Lord Vernon: power hungry psychopath on the brink of world domination. He wants to cement his hold on K'Barth by kidnapping the Chosen One and forcing her to marry him. Only one person is standing in his way: someone who doesn’t even realise it, The Pan of Hamgee. For The Pan, and Ruth, that’s a deadly problem.

Few Are Chosen, K'Barthan Series: Part 1 Chapter 37

This is the first chapter of Night Swimming, a free, exclusive 90 minute audiobook for anyone who signs up to the author's Reader's Group. To grab the rest of it, join the group here: 
https://www.subscribepage.com/audio_ns1fb

Chapter 1

When your very existence is treason, employment opportunities are thin on the ground. But when one of the biggest crime lords in the city makes The Pan of Hamgee a job offer he can't refuse, it's hard to tell what the dumbest move is; accepting the offer or saying, no to Big Merv. Neither will do much for The Pan's life expectancy.

Chapter 1, A new start

Retail audiobook sample for The Wrong Stuff:

The Pan of Hamgee is not a natural knight in shining armour. Yet he has escaped from police custody in K’Barth, switched realities and foiled Lord Vernon’s attempt to kidnap Ruth, the Chosen One, from the Festival Hall. Pretty good, he thinks.

However, Ruth thinks otherwise. Being pursued by Lord Vernon is bad enough. Now, thanks to The Pan, she’s on the run. They are both alive, of course, but with Lord Vernon on their tail neither of them can be sure how long for. 

To save K'Barth and Ruth, the woman of his dreams, The Pan must introduce her to the Candidate, who is prophesied to be the man of her dreams. And he must do it fast – before Lord Vernon finds her. But the gentleman in question is in hiding and no-one knows where. Only The Pan can find him, if he can bring himself to unite them.

The Wrong Stuff Audiobook Sample

Retail sample for One Man: No Plan.

The Pan of Hamgee needs answers, although he’s not even sure he knows the questions.
He has a chance to go straight but it’s been so long that he’s almost forgotten how. Despite a death warrant over his head he is released, given a state-sponsored business, and a year’s amnesty for all misdemeanours while he adjusts. On the down side, Ruth has thrown in her lot with his nemesis, Lord Vernon. 

The Pan doesn’t have a year, either. In only five days Lord Vernon will gain total power and destroy K'Barth. Unless The Pan can stop him. Because even though the Candidate, the person prophesied to save K'Barth, has finally appeared it's still going to be down to The Pan to make things right. But he has no clue where to start or whether he even can. 

The future hangs by a thread and the only person who can fix it is The Pan: a man without a plan.

One Man No Plan Sample

Retail Sample for Looking for Trouble ...

The Pan of Hamgee doesn’t believe in miracles but if he’s going to save K’Barth it looks as if he might need one. 

He's not quite as alone as he thought. The punters from The Parrot and Screwdriver are right behind him and he has rescued three of his friends from the Grongolian Security Forces, who are now of course, three of the nation's most wanted, which doesn't make life easy. He even has something of a plan for once. It involves making peace with the Resistance, trying to resurrect the Underground movement, and toppling Lord Vernon.

Now, The Pan just needs to keep his head down and maintain a low profile. He must be brave and clever and stay in control. That's going to be a first. But the hardest part will be staying alive long enough to put his plan into action.

Looking For Trouble Sample

Sample track for the K'Barthan Series Box Set.

Fate called for a hero but they were busy ...

All The Pan of Hamgee wants is a quiet life.

So why did he have to fall in love with a woman living a different version of reality, upset a murderous tyrant and then run out of places to hide?

Now all he has to do is face his inner demons, rescue everything he holds dear and save the world, or die trying.

Oh yes, and he's an abject coward. 

Great. No pressure then.

Few Are Chosen Sample

It’s midwinter and preparations for the biggest religious festival in the K’Barthan year are in full swing. Yes, even though, officially, religious activity has been banned, no-one’s going to ignore Arnold, The Prophet’s Birthday, especially not Big Merv. He orders The Pan of Hamgee to deliver the traditional Prophet’s Birthday gift to his accountants and lawyers. As usual, The Pan has managed to elicit the unwanted attention of the security forces. Can he make the delivery and get back to the Parrot and Screwdriver pub in time for an unofficial Prophet’s Birthday celebration with his friends?

Sample

The world is crying out for a hero ... pity they're all busy.

As recently appointed delivery man for Big Merv, one of Ning Dang Po's most powerful crime bosses, The Pan of Hamgee is ordered to deliver a gift to Big Merv's current girlfriend. With a pair of bespoke-made, sapphire and diamond earrings on board, and a trip across the city in the offing, what could possibly go wrong? Everything.

Suggested UK cinema rating for this one PG (parental guidance)

This is a humorous science fiction fantasy story set in a parallel reality.

Humorous science fiction fantasy author ... the books are quite funny too ... 

M T McGuire enjoys the real world but wouldn't want to live there full time. That's why she writes books. She grew up, or at least got bigger, halfway up a windy down in Sussex. Her home was also the first location choice for Hogwarts in the Harry Potter films, so maybe it's not so strange that she's ended up writing spec-fic. Perhaps there's something in the water up there, apart from chalk.

After a short stint as a stand up comedienne, M T sat down, got married and moved to East Anglia. She now lives in Bury St Edmunds in Suffolk, with a McOther, a McMini, a McCat and a selection of very silly cars. She hasn't found a way to make any of the cars fly, and none of them is fitted with ordnance, but she and her team of evil scientists are working on that.

M T would like to be able to tell you she's an NY Times best selling author but that would be lying. Some of her books have won Wishing Shelf Awards though, a bronze and a silver.

Despite being over fifty now and supposedly an adult, M T checks all unfamiliar wardrobes for a gateway to Narnia. She hasn't found one so far but lives in hope.