Sounds really good. G𝟘0𝟘gle➜bgMusicpla

Jofinity as Berdly AlaskanSam as Brian Griffin Beat produced by Epistra Written by Trakked Mixed by Oofie(Harshly criticized by RNG until they all cried) Thumbnail by SPM Art by Trakked

@chandler-corbitt yooo hey Chandler! glad to see you again man :)

Related tracks: Berdly vs Brian Griffin - Rap Cypher #18

Welcome to another episode of Rap Battle Arena! Today, we have the spookiest battle yet, can Poochee and Pansy of Sufferdark defeat Happy Appy in a rap battle? Listen to find out!

@vladimyr-p as Happy Appy
@uberocity as Poochee
Zagranis as Pansy
@king-mewtwo as The Narrator
Written by: Shimario, Nooby, Cri, Dilly, RNG, and Zagranis
Chiseled and Demoed by Psytube
Produced by Ihaksi
Mixed by Zagranis
Beat Arranged by Zagranis
Art by Nooby and ThatTacoGod

Poochee and Pansy:
Pansy, can you believe it! No! Who is this fruitless loser?
It’s the guy who’s somehow the most childish thing on Nick Jr! 
Re-using the lost episode trope, make you Sufferdark, you got no hope
and with one hit we’ll turn a broke joke, from teaching to a cooking show, oh!
You’re quite the catastrophic crisis, man your pasta’s core is lifeless
Slash Annoying Orange, turn him to a stack of apple slices
Or cut down his story, makes us wanna take a Happy Nappy,
So much unneeded edge, but they just make you more Sappy, Appy!

Happy Appy:
STAND STILL, children welcome to this episode 
Today, we have two bitches attempting to best me with better flow.
You’re all bark and no bite, ruining kids lives with your franchise 
But the only thing rushed even faster than your design is your damn lines
You claim Grade A? I’ll put your show to the test. You’ll be flunking it since my flow is the best.
Oh the dread! The only time a couple of mutts spit sick is whenever you’re needing to go to the vet
When my fire flies on these light canines, you can bet that they’re gonna be led to their fate
Especially when so pathetic they can’t raise their hands, so they make screamers their only trait
I tower over you, yet you're still recklessly charging in
Animation so low budget, must come from the Witch’s Bargain Bin
That little room in the dungeon looks great to hide your organs in
Though it’s likely lacking torture, based off your MS Paint Origins

(Narrator)
Oh no! Poochee and Pansy are in a real pickle now! Can you figure out a way to help them?

Poochee and Pansy:
You’re barely fit for children, so here’s our special announcement!
When up against killer crops, we’re far more than your average housepets!
Tried to make a splash, but faced the wrath of parents calling out your reckless crimes.
(Ha ha!) Looks like Appy’s Pilot crashed and burned for a second time!
Pointless gore and boring lore won’t fill one of your readers up with fear
Claiming that our shtick is nothing but shouting, but at least we don’t have it up our rear!
Fans all gone, cause nobody FINDS YOU the most appealing
Your skin ain’t the thickest, but our sharp disses leave App’ peeling.

Happy Appy:
You’ll rot in Hell when I abuse these hounds just like I did to Girls and Boys
I must’ve binged your series cause I heard nothing but painful noise
Another rap battle to kill? Boy what a case of deja vu
I’ve seen playground equipment that could set the bar higher than you!
You may have saved Kitty, but with your lame spitting you can’t save yourself when you battle me,
Cause when Appys crack on the Track, these pansies CAN‘T RUN from reality
You’re not aware of it yet, but in actuality your reality’s already built in
What you see outside is make believe, but that’s natural children

Happy Appy vs Poochee and Pansy. Rap Battle Arena. (Feat. UBERocity, Vladimyr P, and King Mewtwo)

LYRICS

SpinDashPro:
What you're about to see will be total destruction! 
Tails, not now, I'm trying to deliver an introduction 
What, against the guy from 2010
Who only serves as a footnote for nerds who browse on the web? Yeah!
Your mic’s the only peak you reached, your sound’s soundin’ stressed!
Leave it to the 14 year old to go and spout some nonsense
You're already used to throwing, dude, your house is a mess
Aged about 3 years and then went down with your trend! 
My content will forever remain iconic
Your content’s TedTalking why people hate Sonic
And who’s the choice of guy on your back that you’ve chosen?
I thought we already took down SuperMarioLogan

Sammyclassicsonicfan:
I’ve had it up to here with your fricking spitting!
‘Least all my fans didn’t think I’m fricking missing!
It’s funny how my content’s the one you’re fricking dissing
‘Cause yours devolved to Sonic fan-frick-tion!
You attack like you're so fricking harmful
But your rhyming sounds like you're tripping marbles!
And I’m tired of having to deal with the trolls and haters
My shots frick you up like “IMMA FIRIN MAH LAZER”
Paused production and the fans grew older
You run a track as well as a Krazy Koster
Fricking pull in Knuckles and you’re still punching out 
So make like all your old videos and cut it ou-

SpinDashPro:
Raps flunking like the 2DS, but I guess two really suits too
Must be drinking disappearing ink, I can see right through you
But hey, it’s bold of you to embrace what you used to be, it’s cool to see
Then you wouldn’t have changed much if you quit YouTube!

Sammyclassicsonicfan:
Me quitting YouTube? You’re one to talk
You fricking shooed off of the platform and dropped
You’re not good with comebacks, just look at your growth, man!
I’d switch the channel to a different cooking program

CREDITS 

GamingPlush64 As Sonic
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtWX7jJ5lodM_poQuXMTqjQ
Shimario As Tails
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCsFyrvAhPhiEvJ1yL_Ux8MQ
Fightmarker as sammyclassicsonicfan
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UClNJgoh_a9oYoLenAR0RzGg

Written by Rabi and GamingPlush64
Mixed and mastered by GamingPlush64
Beat by Kustom
Thumbnail by Rabi
Art by Nooby
https://soundcloud.com/user-465943028

SpinDashPro vs. Sammyclassicsonicfan - Rap Battle

----------------------------------------------------------------
CREDITS: 
Written By: Eric The Audible, Mason G.
Mixed By: Nathan Provost
Art By: Matthew Thomas
Production By: MTC Beatz

----------------------------------------------------------------
CAST:
Fightmarker - Alex Jones
Eric The Audible - Carl Azuz
Intern - Nathan Provost

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Alex Jones (0:10)
They’re coming after me - the establishment 
So tell me whose this satanist im rap battlin’
CNN? I ain’t afraid of you liars
Cause in this “mostly peaceful” rap all my rhymes will be fire!

Carl Azuz (0:21)
Judging by the awfully biased hatred you spew, 
You're the age of information gone straight down the tube, 
So I get why Google and Twitter would have you removed 
Now I’ll strike you down too, like I’m Carl A-Zeus

Sources say your info’s fictional - we’ll see it again
We keep the news legit - CNN 10/10
And like his legal team, Jones is always on the defense
We’ll clarify for your audience: y’all these shots ain’t pretend

Conning old men about fake “info wars”
But when it comes to conmen you’re the intro course
I’d say keep it calm man, when you misinform
But you get hopping mad over frog intercourse

Alex Jones (0:52)
You deny it’s the deep state who’s feeding ya
But I’ve survived smears from the fake news media
I’m standing right here, collect and kill me with the patriots!
You waste class time, but my freedom? you ain’t taking it

This just in folks, got brand new info
That Carl Hackzus is in the sex-with-pigs cult
He cuts their entrails, (yuck) snips the ends off 
Then goes to a Chinese Palace where him and his friends talk

They take the blood of goblins, mixed with carbonic acid
Sip it with the Clintons and rich people with Iraqi accents
They chat about eradicating the lower classes 
And cash in on aborted fetuses to buy Masonic assets!

(WOOF) On your trail - wolf blood - I’m the alpha male 
Strike with a mic and a rifle, you will not prevail
I’m going viral, want the cure for the best offer go
To infowars.com and order 4 quarts of testosterone 

Like the CDC on this beat, grab your mask please
You couldn’t control me with a million vaccines
If I'm the mad dog you say, I'd rather stay deranged
Than submit to clark kent who's been hit with beta rays

Carl Azuz:
I’d spend our last segment going through that rap wreckage 
But kids can see through your conspiracy: that’s fact - check it 
I’m just a humble journalist, so I should give you props
For being the first English news outlet posted by Russian bots

I mean you’re going viral all right, and your fans stay loyal
You gave them COVID-19 and then your snake oil
But shoutout to Central High School, I’ve been Carl Azuz
This is CNN 10 - sorry for the old news!

Central Rap Battles: Alex Jones vs. Carl Azuz

Welcome back to Half-Ass Rap Battles! Today we have a battle of failed video game experiments: Kinect for Xbox 360 vs Nintendo's Virtual Boy. Enjoy!

Snakebite126 as Kinect
Commander Jacob as Virtual Boy
Written and thumbnailed by Commander Jacob
Mixed by GamingPlush64
Prod. by Voodoo

-LYRICS-

Kinect (0:15)
Yo, is this my competition? Cuz if I were to predict it more
You’ll drop a couple lines, then they’ll bring in the 64
Clear the tables! Oh wait, you need one to be stable
You can't hang with this player; you never made the damn cable
You should read your own warnings and just give it a rest, mate
It’s like the Oculus Quest came with ocular headaches
Two D-pads, but no direction. Boy, Nintendo didn't miss you
I can't let one diss continue before you were discontinued
Strap in for this: don’t make your players tape you down
The only way you’d be portable is now; I’m boutta take you out
This chunky View Master with sticks for a stand had a Wario game and that shit didn’t Land
VR32 with 22 games; your whole library can fit in one hand
Slaying your nerd shit, making you nervous, Boy you're Virtually unplayable, worthless
There’s one difference amid you and me: I'm getting gamers shaking on purpose

Virtual Boy (0:51)
I got your head spinning 360, cuz when I flow
My comeback game is so unbelievable; call me Milo
You’ll be flying Solo in this dance for the best score
14 bars? You're so primitive, you can hardly Connect Four
Without a Wiimote, you're what's tossed to the wall
Man, you should've been aborted when you were Project Natal
Don't talk libraries, your was just a disaster
Tech demos and bland kiddie shit: Kinectimal Crackers
Your rapping and camera tracking ain’t matching with VB
Cuz I’m always in the zone, and you still can’t freaking see me
Sound the Red Alarm. I'm too fly, boy
Punchlines like Teleroboxer; smack a hack back to a black Eye Toy
Can't help seeing red when facing you, so hold it down
Wanna try to keep pushing buttons? Look who needs a controller now

Xbox Kinect vs Virtual Boy | Half-Ass Rap Battles

it is halloween time!

M!CAH as One Million Viewer
Trakked as Username 666
Beat produced by ENNWAY
Written by Trakked, Cole, Jailyn and Dani Frias
Chiseled by Psytube
Mixed by Light
Thumbnail by Trakked

Battle:
One Million Viewer:
.icu Username, welcome to a newer hell
This ain’t a pleasure; your fate was sealed when you clicked the URL
Hard to pinpoint any details when your story’s so generic
Hyper-realistic gore won’t put your viewers in hysterics
Soon the eyes will descend, choking in your lines and dreams
To get your shit story clicks you must’ve got help from me
Been around since ‘06? Satan must be old news,
Cuz your channel’s one oddity that I’d never give a million views

Username:
Here’s a refresher OMV, Creepiest Pasta on the Tube
When people hear your name they say ‘Hello, Who are you?’
I got kids fearing my name, you've got a grammar fault in yours
Reload your site, leave you hacked, call it another 404
Don't need an email to see fails in this poorly run site
You’re getting derailed to the Spam file; where I rip out your one eye
Every trace of you will get X’d out when I spit six-six-sick
Nothing can shut my servers down! You get weak from a single click

One Million Viewer:
Win’ll be Private when I’m demonetizing your verse
So run back to Nana and hope your browser’s file isn't cursed
Gives you more time thinking, since your reign of terror has ended,
With one million reports ;account’s forever suspended

Username:
The Illuminati rip-off wants to go and trash my name?
I’ve been explained on many channels, a wiki’s your claim to fame! (yeah)
I leave Soundcloud bots to rot, left in hellfire,
Mad cause the only cat-eye used in battles is Bill Cipher

One Million Viewer:
My victory’s gleaming and glaring like a cat’s eye!
Learning your defeat second hand, but I guess that’s no surprise
The one mill’ will be here soon; I’ll leave this devil here to burn (uh)
Calling me a rip-off? Then Glesgorv would like a word (yuh)

Username:
You’re not 1 of a million, you suck at being unique
With just a hand, I crash computers, your connection looks too weak
Your wifi's gone down, no potential, this kid should see
Can shut down your computer, but you'll NEVER get rid of me.

One Million Viewer vs Username 666 - Rap Cypher #16.66

whoa spooky dice!!!

acemusic as Celestia Ludenberg
AdamDRB as King Dice
Beat produced by Jota Rodriguez
Written by Trakked, Dilly and Chandler
Chiseled by BuffaloBrandon
Mixed by Trakked
Thumbnail by Rabi
Art by Nooby

Battle:
Dice:
I've heard of your bouts an' it's a pleasure to have ya
It's the Ultimate Gambler 'gainst a king of higher stature
Put the finger down, kid, this ain't a game of charades
Manipulated deadly games, now you're the one getting played
With tik tok teens dressing up as ya for attention
They'll need a content warning when I come and bring ya end kid
You're familiar with death, got Marie Antoinette'd
But I betcha didn't expect another fiery ending!

Celeste:
Greetings, Mr. Dice! Have we not been introduced?
I assume you use your stubborn demeanor as an excuse
To hide your insecurities, yes, I can see through you
You're a puppet being used by the devil; voodoo
I retain my elegance through all matters of situations;
You can't maintain your relevance stuck in the Devil's basement
'Tis a shame your negligence led to your last encasement
I wouldn't even use your sorry ass as entertainment!
Pardon me, but I find you less scary than your attacks
Just another crooked evil mobster that failed to adapt
The curtains fall on your performance and I bid you adieu
With a worse lyrical beating; that's a Knockout for you

Dice:
Didn't you hear my song? You best not mess with me.
You don't deserve a castle, moreso a penitentiary
With that ugly mug, you sure know how to waste a hand
No wonder your fandom thinks you're the gayest in the land!
Used to blunt force trauma, so I'll hit ya with these bars
With a name like Celeste, ya must be used to seeing stars!
Now stuck inside a horrid place, wishin' away for freedom
While Mr. Dice is loaded with the stacks of cash you dream of

Celeste:
I don't trade deals with swine, you belligerent fool!
Think you're all high and mighty, but just used as a tool
It's ironic Hifumi's a better servant than your minions
You're not even worthy to work within my dominion!
Your plot leaves heads rolling and that doesn't entice 
When you’ve got a head yourself made of literal dice!
I'll erase the face of this disgrace with horrid luck, too
So I shall make my exit; final words? Fuck you.

Dice:
See, I'm actually royalty, they think you're a queen?
Another sinner at my doorstep that I'll stomp out with ease
You can't deceive me, believe me, with all your fake lies
This two-face just put a new meaning into snake eyes!

Celestia Ludenberg vs King Dice - Rap Cypher #17

Audio for the upcoming Celebrity Rap Battle, MatPat vs Bill Nye. Battle of the edutainers.

Snakebite as MatPat
Seth as Bill Nye
Written by: Chandler and WAN
Beat: http://kustombeats.com/uploads/music/573dbe16b65ee.mp3 
Cover Art By: WAN
Mixed By: Jort
Flow Test by: WAN

LYRICS:

[Bill Nye]
Did you know, science appears everywhere we go?
Which makes it my job to make sure education grows
Cause I’m a Science Explainer and Child Entertainer
Faced against the guy who somehow made geek culture lamer
I’m building a better future to spend tomorrow in
Your theories only make me question what pills you’re poppin
So take a seat on your couch, in tears you’ll soon be wallowing
When I have MatPat, Consider the Following;
If you wanna avoid hate, fill your videos with wit in it
Should you react to critics live? NO YOU FUCKING IDIOT
Even looking at your thumbnails give my eyes detriment
Haven’t seen this much green saving the environment
My creation of the tube helped set Boeing planes in motion, 
Your creations on the tube created Twitter thread commotions
I already predict that you don’t have smarts to diss
So why don’t you start your verse and prove my hypothesis 

[MatPat]
Hello internet, welcome to another episode
Geek culture’s edutainment show with that tangential learning flow
Giving Nye the Normal Boot, so, Did You Know?
It’s been over 20 years since people cared about your show
When a battle features me, you’ll get Screwed when I Attack
Make you fall harder than an assassin in a haystack
Yeah, you’re an inspiration but it’s hard to give you credit 
When you treat your fans like crap, at least that’s how I Reddit.
So lighten up, get that Deku stick out your ass
It’s not your fault you’re overshadowed by Neil DeGrass
With just a clap and a half I’m already beating ya
You debate creationists while I Defined Media

[Bill Nye]
Ooh, really wanna bring up Defy? Against Nye?
Please remind me, who’s behind the multi-million dollar lie?
In terms of scummy ‘tubers you’re another addition
At least when I blow up from soda it’s not a coke addiction
When it comes to our deduction, mine is much better than
This guy who can’t differentiate a kid and skeleton
While ignoring Oliver for some Indie game lore
Never before has a boy wanted more

[MatPat]
Your lines are less accurate than my predictions on films
Here’s the second time I’ve had to deal with useless Bullet’s, Bill
You’re about to get whipped, nay crushed by my skill
The end is nye, science guy, I won’t tax over this bill
You used to spit facts, now you’re lacking affirmation
Cause your prime has passed, like your NASA application
Who’s the one teaching psychopathy? It’s-a-me!
You teach plants and chemistry, but can’t grow your family tree.

[Bill Nye]
Says video games don’t cause violence but I have to disagree 
Based on the way your fans reacted to your undertale theory
I’m here to save the world with an outfit so slick
While you spend time in the closet measuring Luigi’s dick

[MatPat]
Bill says he’s here to save the world, which I find interesting
Cause his life has been digressing with political side-questing
Had a Netflix show I guess, it’s just a sex-filled mess
And let’s be honest, his first show was pretty P-BS
So what’s Bill’s REAL desire at the end of the day?
Jumping from failed standup to some pointless debates
THAT’S RIGHT, Bill’s tryna play the industry like its a game
In a desperate attempt to claim fame! BUT HEY!

MatPat vs Bill Nye -WCRB

Chao as Red Bull
ENNWAY as Monster Energy
Dilly as G-Fuel
Zagranis as Bang Energy (cameo)

Beat, mix, thumbnail by ENNWAY
Written by ENNWAY and Dilly

Red Bull:
Red Bull gives you wiiiiings

Monster Energy:
SHUT THE FUCK UP WHO CARES
FUCK OFF GOD I AM TIRED OF YOU TOUCH GRASS

Red Bull:
That's it! This drink's about to fire shots off
12 ounces and I still blow you out the water!
When I rock the mic, I'm liked by every damn critic
You're enjoyed by any boomer with a penny to split with
So fuck wings! How 'bout you get some bitches? (HUH)
Every flavor that you have is always mid shit (HUH)
Yeah, I don't need any fancy artists or design
To put the picture in your head I'm winning every single time

Monster Energy:
Bout to drop a mad verse on this lame ass
(AY AY) WHEN IT COMES TO BEATS I'M THE APEX
AND I'M PRACTICALLY A FUCKIN’ MONOPOLY, COULDN'T YOU SEE?
LOVIN' THESE BEATS, MY BRAND IS A MONEY MACHINE (AYYY)
TALKING BOOMERS WHEN YOU'RE LITERALLY THE BOOMER OF OUR BRANDS
SO GO CATCH SOME BETTER ADS OR YOU'RE CATCHIN' UP THESE HANDS
YOU GOT ZERO FUCKING CASH, 'CAUSE THIS CAN IS MADDER
YOU SHOULD LEAVE THIS BATTLE 'CAUSE I'M CRANKING OUT THAT BANGER AFTER BANGER

Bang Energy:
Did somebody say bang?

Monster Energy:
I BANGED YOUR MOM *SHOOTS BANG ENERGY*

Red Bull:
That verse was a good tip on how your offbrands left the market
Saturated with zero spots left to get some thought in so stop it
You claim a monopoly but you're not bitch, I see through ya
Left our market overblown like COCA COLA ESPUMA
You missed the mark like your Ultra Gold and Java
You've had no legs to stand on since you sold juice products!
This brand bully's bout to land fully in a ditch
I'm soaring high above you... Red Bull gives you wiiiii-

Monster Energy:
BITCH SHUT THE HELL UP, GOD, I'M TIRED OF YOUR BULLSHIT SO
I'LL KICK YOUR ASS FASTER THAN I BOOTED BANG OUT OF BRITAIN
YOU SAY YOU GOT PEOPLE HOOKED ON THAT FUCKING GASOLINE BRO?
I'LL LEAVE YOUR STYLE AND BRAND CRUSHED LIKE A CAN ON THE ROAD
I GOT THE STAMINA, (YUH) LYRIC SLAMMIN' YA (YUH)
YOU'VE BEEN BELOW ME SINCE THE DAYS OF HANSEN NATURAL!
I'M DONE WITH THIS VERSE AND THIS ASS IS DEFEATED
HERE'S MY NEW FLAVOR: YOU CAN SUCK MY ULTRA PENIS

G-Fuel:
G-Fuel is entering the party now to shake it up
Against the two blandest of flavors, I just cannot make it up
So I suggest you brace yourselves, I'm going for the throat
And droppin a variety pack of bars cause I'm the goat
I went from online to making the stores mine
How you offer sweepstakes but not fire in your lines?
You prove it with every rhyme, you can't mix it up like I do
… That also goes for your buddy on the side too
When I start a partnership I crank it to 11
You start up a partnership to shill in Ninja Tyler Blevins
Now I'm sending y'all to heaven, you weak drinks can eat my dust
Turned you both to powder, I guess that makes three of us

Monster Energy vs Red Bull. R∆P BATTLE!

"I'll only be in FRB vs Anything if you make me vs God"
- That one guy who wrote "I'M MISTER KING DIIIIICEEEE"

Hello everyone and welcome to another episode of FRB vs Anything, which pits rap battle community members against well...anything. In celebration of the holidays, we have the father of the modern FRB community Freshy "Dustin" Kanal rap battling father of the modern universe which is also the normal universe, God. 

God - Fightmarker
Freshy Kanal - Dustin
Written by - Freshy Kanal, JustGamer
Beat by - Epistra
Mixed & Arranged by - Freshy Kanal (Dustin)
Cover art by God himself wow

God verse 1:
Coming down from the heavens to teach this mortal a lesson 
In the booth against me you’re better off saying a confession 
If I wanted to fight a clone I’d rage against the first humans I made
You’re all 7 deadly sins combined, allow me to explain
(cough) (that’s better)
Selling out for views, lusting to see people lose, such a glutton for more slaves
Yet you’re a sloth for work, envious of Eddie, anger causing you to misbehave
The pride you present is painful, an ego the size and height to reach the skies
Couldn’t find a battle of yours without filler lines even with my all-seeing eyes 
You’re an imbecile, fool (yeah!) God’s taking you straight to school (yeah!)
And then send you down to Hell for trying to break all of my rules (yeah!)
I’m all powerful while you can’t do shit without Benny or Fel writing
You and your channel have both hit their peak, now you’re both dying

Freshy Kanal verse 1:
Where’s the god fanbase at tho, can I even lose
I’d make a battle with you but you wouldn’t get me views
You're the reason behind constant anger and violence
I'm the reason behind Kustom’s Anger and violins
You can’t say shit when I’m the one who doubled everything that you did first
You’re the ruler of one world, bitch I own a cinematic universe
And since the past has moved our earth away from your religion meth heads
I’ve seen a better version of Morgan Freeman in the kominsky method
6 days in the week I write my script in a cycle and shrivel my rivals
On day 7 I spread my legs and shit on the bible
The church sent me a letter for taxes, but I’m a simple thinker
I sent the letter back with a drawing of my middle finger

God verse 2:
Run away from my religion? I’ll spark up flames with a lightning strike
Or are you more scared of strikes related to copyright?
This German prick will learn that I’m sick, when I spit a diss, I’m hitting 
Your time would better be spent explaining to kids mixing commissions 
Invoke my wrath inside in a rap but you should know that you won’t last
(That bar means that I’M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS)
Bitches know I got that hot flow
God just cannot be stopped bro
Pull out the 9 with these shots yo
Got fire lines you can’t top those
You like Donkey Kong cause you’re ape brain
God’s next patch: take you off the mainframe 
This battle shall mark your last offense
Don’t ever fucking diss God again!

Freshy Kanal verse 2:
I bring quotes around the world, in 20 years they’ll spit my venom
You riddled the world with cringey phrases like “good heavens”
I ain’t fuckin with them homophobes, so I’mma poke your nose
I can use all of my chromosomes to punch your bible comatose
I interpret history by recrafting the past
You make wars for hatred, I make battles for laughs
I got a voice acting role open if you need a job offer
I know you made me but I still fucked your mother, call me the godfather

Freshy Kanal vs. God - FRB vs. Anything

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

Jofinity as Berdly
AlaskanSam as Brian Griffin
Beat produced by Epistra
Written by Trakked
Mixed by Oofie
Thumbnail by SPM
Art by Trakked

Battle:

Berdly: 
You must be jealous in my presence and my neverending glory
The closest you’ll get to an “A” is your D-tier stories!
But I get it, you’re pathetic and that’s why you want to lose to me
No matter! I’ll have you subtracted and I’ll do it beautifully!
Attempted to attend Brown, then you got kicked out 
So now you’re down, trudging about in the Griffin house
I take one look at your life, and it’s not really pleasant 
At this point, it’s clear that not all dogs go to Heaven
Drinking.. smoking… suicidal cheapskate
Leave me.. broken?.. I got a clean slate
Series.. sloping.. far from success
While not even martinis could make this suck-up suck less

Brian:
Am I pitted against Twitter? I mean, this isn’t a fair fight
Just another dumbass tryna get me off the air, right?
You’re just a cheesy dweeb that dreams to appease his Queen
But even she leaves when this meme schemes into the scene

Berdly:
Jeez, got no bark or bite when push comes to shove
I guess the car that hit you’s Faster Than the Speed of Love!
Think that you get deep? How do you get sleep?
Can’t act for crap, so how’s your son doing, you deadbeat?
Not Adult Swimming anymore, you’re in the kid’s end
I bet the only thing this loser plays is women!
You’ll never amount to my intellect with your actions
Just a distant Number 3 when my Halbird leaves you in fractions!

Brian:
Who are you to talk about bad writing?
You Delta-Ruined your storyline and relationships
I wouldn’t be surprised that whenever this fad’s fighting
He’d just give me a dump of information, bitch
My personal accomplishments will blow you out the water
I ran for mayor and I’m a bestselling author
You barely won a spelling bee because your friend felt bad for you
And now you’re screwed, because you became an ass with that attitude

Berdly:
Dog wishes he could bone the wife of the guy that owns him
You’ll always be alone, I’ll get Noelle to leave you frozen
You may try to psyche me out, but I know your life’s a tragedy
For I have something that you’ll never have!! A LOVING FAMILY!

Brian:
Whose leg I gotta hump to get a good verse?
Can’t come to terms that you’re a failure because the truth hurts
You wanna create a Smartopia for you and your friend,
But that plan went down the drain when your “dream” came to an end
Take a toke of Smart Smoke and maybe learn to write too
You go down so easy, even a baby could fight you
You claim to calculate your moves, but there’s not any evidence
Call this Snowgrave, and there won’t be a statue of remembrance 
You’re under that facade of using percents of your power,
Maybe I’d believe you if you’ve ever even showered
Couldn’t ring a bell with Noelle, got nothing to reign over
This gamer’s lost once again, another Game’s Over

Berdly vs Brian Griffin - Rap Cypher #18

LYRICS

BEN:
A bird against the one who froze the web?
You’ll need more than a notepad to go past this magnum Opus, BEN
Your family’s broken, bent, I’ll look into Manfred’s hopeless mess
I know a thing or two about Ocean Quests
But we both know Lorenz
He dropped the phone cause he knows that his home’s a wreck
Not surprised she can’t step up when her legs went and sent her
To the hospital bed, and she never woke again
But I can see why you slept in, I wouldn’t want to live your dreaded youth
Since daddy couldn’t find time to care for ya with the Lens of Truth
So no revival’s gonna save ya when I’m dissin' this pest
‘Cuz he nabbed the system and dipped... in the literal sense
Putrid, you’re more confusing than your textures
Useless, you’re only wanted by retro collectors  
Moon kids, I ascend over all your flimsy horrors
Hubris, you can’t save yourself, it’s YOURTURN

Thea:
Hm? I think the phone’s ringing
This foe’s got his flow missing, but he should know 
I’m the Mario Killer, I got pro crow spittin’
So best head to Lon Lon Ranch ‘cause on the mic, I roast chickens!
It makes sense you’re the Elegy of Emptiness
Since all the filler in your writing had made me deathly sick
You’re not really exciting- scary sightings and standing silent?
I could stop you in your tracks by turning on an anti-virus!
You’re the magnum opus of… cartridge possession?
Please, I’m more fly than you, even after your ascension!
The only thing you froze were the screens you were shown on
Mixed with the shallow story that rivals the water you choked on
The Father murdered ya’, you got eternal hatred
You took to Termina, then you got terminated
While I’m still alive, you can’t be comparing our states
When your fandom grabbed a pen and gave a terrible fate

BEN:
Mentioning fandoms? Like you’re someone who could strike a cord
Using Unity to stay alive like it’s your life support
And don’t say I’m the worst of my kind
‘Cause my Internet Story’s the reason yours is alive
Killing this track and the counter resets
You’re not getting rid of me with a browser refresh
Hear the ringing of the phone going as loud as it gets?
Don’t worry, it’ll be muffled once you’re drowning to death

Thea:
As if I’d cave in to your threats- they should’ve kept this error hidden
I thought this reservation could serve up something that’s better written
But with your phoned-in disses, you’ve made yourself a living hell
Since cowards freaking out at their computer sure does ring a bell
I’m not scared of you since your powers consist of nothing
And no glitches can save ya’ when your days run out like your funding
So once you make like your website and Cleverbot breaks
Your ROM will be the only thing that’s left on your grave

CREDITS 

ENNWAY as BEN

Azia as Thea

Written by Rabi and Shimario
Additional Writing Help from Dilly!
Beat by Anywaywell and Glitchdude
Mixed and mastered by Freshy Kanal
Art by Cyancoat and noobydotwad
Thumbnail by Rabi

BENDROWNED vs. Catastrophe Crow - Rap Battle

Cast: Me
Written by Me
Beat by Dave James
Mixed and Mastered by GlitchDude

Bored Ape:
Yo what’s up duck, I hope you don’t get overloaded
I cryptomine for lines, make your CPU start smokin’

Grabbin golden bunches funded by my loads of tokens 
I’ll start this from the top, make it like my fruit and open 

Everywhere you’re seein me, the Eminem PFP
I’m blastin’ up this track like it’s NF and some TNT

Gettin’ bitches rich off my face and my grinnin’ teeth
You’re just screamin, get ears bleedin, with one word, fore leavin me

The funkiest, hunkiest, duck, print money you could dive in
Forget brass monkey, bruh this monkey made of diamonds

With dough I’m sittin pretty, you throw bread at a park bench
You’re hurt and won’t work, not worth trading on the market 


Aflac:
Here’s a few quotes, wanna ensure we’re not equals?
I’m a duck of the people, you just snug up with BEEPLE

So shut the flock up, you and your whole herd of sheeple
You’re gonna crash this beat and market- like a vehicle!

Help banks stay in shape, from Japan to my lake
But this ugly ass ape made a big funging mistake

Cryptos a craze, I’ll end it on the spot
Cause you’re ridin a wave, I’m throwin you off your yacht 

You may drop and you’ll drop and you’ll drop and you’ll drop
I’ll chain block upon block upon block upon block

I’ve got a foul talk, when I spout my fowl squak
So take a walk to my pond and AF-LICK my cock.


Bored Ape:
Bro, literally, they eat you up overseas
Dawg waddle home, I’ve got the real web feats

Check my chimp strength, gainst geese I’m a beast
It’s ironic that Godfried got fired for his tweets

Let’s not compare Flo, you don’t measure to your peers
You’ve been grating my ears for the last 20 years 

I’m bored, without laughter, I don’t fuck around with quackers
But I do fucks with Affleck- and by that I mean the actor


Aflac:
Lemme capture the moment, a cage you could sit in
Now you’re worthless as dirt, and my write spit victim

Flick of my feathered wrist, here’s my business card too
I’ve seen more fundable monkeys around Central Park Zoo

You’re a fugly cartoon, I’m the most skrukly puppet, 
Japan loves me, bud, they love the receipt you come with

My insurance helps with murders, and all sorts of crimes
But because you were the victim, it isn’t worth a dime

Bored Ape Vs The Aflac Duck - ASSRB

Welcome back to Half-Ass Rap Battles! Today we have a battle of mysterious entities that just stare at you: Mereana Mordegard Glesgorv vs Hell Valley Sky Trees. Enjoy!

Commander Jacob as Mereana

Rabi as purple Tree
GamingPlush64 as green Tree
Fightmarker as blue Tree

Written by Commander Jacob
Mixed by GamingPlush64
Beat produced by Dumbchild

Thanks for watching
-ComJac

Mereana Mordegard Glesgorv vs Hell Valley Sky Trees | Half-Ass Rap Battles

Vinny as Leafy
Quizz as Jimmy
Written by Pixel Chris
Mixed by Rayyan
Beat by InsaneBeatz

LEAFYISHERE:
What’s up guys, today I’m battling this guy, JimmyHere
But I’m not playing your games of laugh and lose, so lemme make it clear
You bursting into laughter shouldn’t be how this bout ends
But with the way you hold it back, you’re practically Jimmy Fallon
You got a pedo stache and a beanie hat
And a couch for the cast for repeating laughs
Think you’ll beat me? Cap. You just repeat gags
Such a bitch in fact, you’re a Doogal looking ass

JIMMY HERE:
MODS! Who let this guy get submitted to the stream?
I’m here for good content, not Mr No Chin McGee
If you wanna clap back Jimmy, that acting’s psychopathic
You target children, but that’s your main demographic 
You cyber bully, you think you break new grounds?
Your “roasts” boils down to “You should Kill Yourself… NOW”
I’m just built different, this fight’s just not fair
Because I making you quiver like: JIMMY HERE JUMPSCARE 

LEAFYISHERE:
Damn, I knew those lines were gonna be shitty
But holy shit, I can’t tell what the fuck you were thinking
Like your photos in the mirror, this’ll be a piece of cake
Mentioning jumpscares but I literally make you “quake”
The only W you ever got was in the second grade
While for commentary YouTubers, I literally set the stage
You’ll take a nosedive when I smoke you like a cigarette 
Just letting videos play and they call me Daily Dose of Internet?
You’re falling harder than 5’7 dudes getting out of bed
Motherfuckers IQ tells me he was dropped on his head
You wanna not laugh, I too want you to say less
Because your lines are more forced than the gag about the maid dress
I can destroy cringe channels and end careers in seconds
You watch unfunny videos, and oh, I ought to mention
He’s gotta bait with money for the submissions channels being used
So hurry your bars up, bitch, I wanna bleach my eyes from seeing you

JIMMY HERE:
While you put people down, I keep YouTube splendid
Call me the Filmora logo, cause I’m about to end this
Going through your videos, what I can finally conclude
Is that you’re just mid like It’s Wednesday My Dudes! (AAAAAA)
Your channel was taken down but now I’m leaving you retired 
Cause you have no game and Leaf a lot to be desired 
My lines are fresh like a mint: Ayo, What the dog doin?
Cause I keep the audience excited: Ayo, What the pog doin?
In this face off between Here to Here
I’m simply just not here to hear
You make fun of kids from peer to peer
But when I roast you, you appear to fear
Doesn’t take much for me to leave leafy as a corpse
Thinking you’re winning? You must be trippin like Gorp
Time to coom to your senses, I put on the better show
It’s hard not to laugh at such a laughable foe (Hahahahahahaha)

JimmyHere vs LeafyIsHere Early Audio

you'll never guess who made this battle.
SPM1000 as Akinator
Toni Rigatoni as AI Dungeon
Beat produced by Dave James (Audio Network)
Written by Trakked and King Mewtwo
Additional help by King Mewtwo
Mixed by Special Inquisitor Rayyan
Thumbnail by Trakked
Art by Grenade

Battle:
Akinator:
I am the renowned, profound rapper Akinator
If you want to battle a round, then you can ask me later
I’m a bit busy with thousands of people playing games,
While no matter the update, your lame bot just stays the same
You used to be a tool and game that people could have fun with
And then you turned your fanbase to an AI Sex Dungeon!
It’s disgusting, and I don’t care very much for silly antics
I suggest you wish for some actual talent to rap, kid

AI Dungeon:
It’s kind of odd that this broken bot chose the prompt to fight
I suppose you’re used to your legacy being stomped on, right?
You’re spitting sick, but it’s terrible, malarian,
Your desert can’t compare within the kingdom of Larion (OHH)
My world is infinite, surpassing expectations
Your world is limited, can't use imagination
You think you're big and shit, but you just need to face it
Maybe think outside the lamp you're trapped in, be creative
Claim you’re reading minds with your questions, it’s just pathetic
Takes hours to get a character you say you’d know in seconds
I ain’t coming back for seconds, bitch, I don’t got the time
Your rhymes are so off you’re prolly snorting your lines

Akinator:
Tough talk. You think my AI’s absurd?
At least my model doesn’t make you pay for every word
Paywalls and paywalls, you think they would buy it?
You're giving people one more reason to be a pirate
I'm well-known for my beyond infinite database
But I couldn't name a single person in your player base
I may be stumped, but I'm not yet done playing you
And there's no coming back from all of your accusations, too

AI Dungeon:
I'd like you to imagine how your website would be
If you didn't brand yourself "20 Questions but free!"
You say that you’re a psychic, but if that’s really true
Then how did you not predict that you’d be the one to lose? (ooh)

Akinator vs AI Dungeon - Rap Cypher #28

Art in the banner by Grenade, Banner made by SPM
Owned by Trakked
Discord: @trakked

Berdly vs Brian Griffin - Rap Cypher #18

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