Rap Cypher - Collection 3 (2022)

Welcome to the four hundred and twentieth installment of “Quick Diss”! We have two FNAF fan games today! (go fucking figure) the yolked up "chaos God of death" himself, Flumpty! Up against, our favourite debaucherous bear… and fuckboy (albeit a virgin) himself, Freddy Fuckboy!

Lyrics:

Flumpty:
Hi, I'm Flumpty, im an egg, your night of debaucheries upon you creep
A cocky, sleazy, RPG! That pizza should've went soft with cheese
You're a novelty, i'm an anomaly, another dark lord you'd give all praise to
Transcend time and space but scuffed plots are something I'm not untaint to

Fuckboy:
I fucking hate you. Are you ready for Freddy? Shit-ass games blew, just like the confetti
That went and slayed you, HAM, SPAM, and SALAMI, 6 and your name poofed, RAN FAST AND THEN BODIED
That cast of "friends", then tell my wrongs, your enragements mild
Your creator went "inhale my dong engagement child"
Fan-base has split, folded like omelets, so what Blammed first?
Chicas hot bird ass, the egg, or your crunk fan-verse?
Attacked first? Engage the Flumpty motherfucker
Half-assed verse, pavements Bumpty for a plunder
Can't put you back together, like that One Week shows
The wall you sat on couldn't compare to what keeps Chrome
Pedo, and attached to a long joke gone rouge
"Means to an end" then Scott Cawth you one hope 
And your last game was, uhh, passed as Flumpty's "new hit"
But if you ask me bruh, that was fucking stupid.
Float away from this battle, your crazy game lies in inputs
I'll blaze you like assholes, take Cranky's Advice and git gud
New Dork, new ports, FUCKING LICENSED MERCHANDISE
Who sourced your course? no. Make like your merchant and die.
But what eggs you on? You're stuck in penance, sequels missed
You dumb bitch I won, I fucking did it eat my shit.

Flumpty:
Myyyy tuuurrn. But your turn based combat is half baked
I hurt. Yiffing your dicks, party best have cakes
I sure, don't need a blunt or some dumb hat saved
To grind yourrrr, robotic carcass to match paste.
How's that for a Final Mix, your clout matches your child's pace tho
Why don't you chow on this, this Clown facet came out of a-holes
What's with allowing this? Without dank memes your parts foil
Amount to shit. YOUR FUCKING FACE IS GONE, Hard Boiled.
Grab a Dragon Dildo, smack you, simple, cuz I felt like it
I amassed the end of the Goddamn world with a meteorite 
Did that not Rhyme on the mic or can you tell I kid?
Killed a-billion times, you're an Eyesaur, I'm meatier, right?
Your teams beat in this fight, so try to flee or then die
Because i'm mean when I'm fried, don't bite at me or I'll fight
Scream, and reap out your eyes. See, to me you're a prize
Another fiend to help my best friends shriek and their mine
Your fragile masculinity, the only damn humility 
This "man" has ever seen, you haven't "shat" on anything
A girls bathroom? You're never clean, tell that you coiled it.
This mammal parody. Better? Please... fell in the toilet.

Fuckboy:
I'm going to punch the fuck out of this egg 'til it shuts up
Punch, punch, punch, punch, punch, punch, punch, punch.
Ok this isn't working, I'll finish this verse, sugma.
Insufferable piece of garbage. Flumpty and co. fucked up...

-CAST-
Flumpty: KingMewtwo
Freddy Fuckboy: Himself

-PRODUCTION-
Thumbnail by: CannibalWorms
Written by: JaCon

Beat: http://www.shadowville.com/audio//Shadowville.com%20-%20Shockwave.mp3

Beat Produced by: Tristan
Mixed by: jort

Thanks for listening to the "final" "Quick Diss" and remember kids, git gud.

Flumpty Bumpty vs Freddy Fuckboy - (Quick Diss) #420

Happy Valentine's Day!

Chao as I Hate You
Trakked as I Love You
Beat produced by 2Deep
Written by Trakked
Mixed by Trakked
Thumbnail by Trakked
Art by Trakked

Battle:

I Hate You:
Up against worn out malware I’ll be sure to hold my own
Darker things lurked in windows in a battle with my bro
You’re blind like the Boos if you think you’ll take this win
You’ll find that you’ll lose before we even begin
I HATE YOU! This spyware’s a liar
This love bug’s squashed when he dies in my fire
The spotlight I thrive in will leave you outshone
I’m spitting fire, you thought koopa worked alone?
You’re luring in virgins with letters so fake
And you call yourself a worm? Ha, you're more of a snake
Leave you with a heart attack; no, you’re not a threat
So I’ll leave you erased off the face of the ‘net

ILOVEYOU:
With shoddy writing and design; seems this pasta's unstable
Your brother offed you like a reverse Cain and Abel
You started from the bottom, never rose to the top
When the creepypasta wiki went to give you the drop
I’ve defiled files for a while, this ROM hack’s lost
You’re a vile manchild and a poor final boss
You plunged.. straight into lava, you’re done
Been in the shadows too long, you’ll never be player one 

I Hate You:
Creator's a pussy using the internet as a mask
But you know what they say: curiosity killed the cat
You clowned on the web, a foolish freak who stalks kids
Till you became an info techs worst fear: an IT’s IT
Oh God no! You're off-flow! 
Think you can kill me with mods? No!
I’m Nintendo’s shining star when I clash with any foe
A mix of scrambled parts, change your name to missing flow

ILOVEYOU:
What a twist. You persist. Yet your story won't be missed.
Rebelling against your brother when you need him to exist.
More powerful than sickness; I’m an unstoppable force
Your ship sank as soon as your story ran its course
Scare me? The writing on the wall is all you got
Heard scarier “oh no’s” shouted out by Michael Scott
I could look through my passwords and find someone better
This plumber’s so lonely he would never get my letter
I’m a weapon, you’re destined to fall against this virus
Learn a lesson in seconds when I make your vocals silent
Maze caved in ‘14, now our memories are hazy
You can meet your princess when you’re both pushing daisies.

I Hate You vs ILOVEYOU - Rap Cypher #21

-PRODUCTION/CAST-
Henry Stickmin - Mancha (UBERocity)
Phil Eggtree - Fightmarker​

Written By: Michael Stark, M!CAH, & Mason G

Produced By: Epistra

Mixed & Mastered By: Freshy Kanal

Logo By: Cannibal Worms

Cover By: Commander Jacob

Lyrics:
ANNOUNCER
Let's give it up for Stark’s Rap Battles!
Henry Stickmin
Vs
Phil Eggtree
Begin!

HENRY STICKMIN
The father of Newgrounds is bound to ground this unpunny Flash hack
Who thinks he can step to Stickmin, guess he hasn’t seen my clap back!
Henry chooses Gas Raps to combat Phil’s not-so-Swift sadness
Even your OG design adds up to complete Madness!
I mean, you’re messing with the best mercenary since Red or Blu
My games are a blast when I bring laughs, no one can say the same about you
So riddle me this, if you can, we know you’re not the sharpest bulb in the shed
How can you claim to have fame when you’re put to shame by another egg?
Who’s got a 98% rating on Steam? Me!
Who’s game birthed a dev team and a whole company from a meme?
But then who’s schtick got old fast with each recurring scheme?
Cuz it’s not me who’s cranking sequels just to make ends meet, geez!

PHIL EGGTREE
A whole decade for your first words? I must say, I’m thrilled
In this scrap you’re getting capped, regardless of the gimmicks you instill
Just a bully taking dollars, but got no digits on the weight scale!
So come at me, stick bug, this loss’ll be your 348th fail!
Spitting colder than Zack- er, hotter than Zack, a twig’ll get snapped when I’m on the attack
But if I tried to sit through your whack class I’d end up falling asleep on the track!
Stickmin’s just a Ghost Inmate, so there’s no need to keep my guard up
Hard to Escape Prison when you’ve been surrounded by my bars, huh?
I’ll still be the one collecting coin, while you’re lacking common cents
And after all your countless antics, I’d think you’d grasp some common sense
With all those video game tie-ins, you constantly seem to harp
For one who prides himself on intelligence, that wasn’t very… pointy
Once I crack the case of this basketcase, then he’ll truly see-
That when it comes to tricking teachers or ditching class, I always have the key!
No Valiant Hero, you snitched on the army just to pinch more cash
Just a selfish thief with jealous deeds, I’ve got this in the bag! (Ha!)

HENRY STICKMIN
I toppled the Toppats, Government, Wall, you know I got the sleek flow too
Your whole deal is “bargain bin Ferris Bueller hit with a dash of Pico’s School!”
But if you really wanna compare us, I’ll serve this Egghead over easy
My countless achievements to your minor victories? Hmmm, lets see:
Small startup gains some traction, gauging YouTubers’ reactions
Yet you couldn’t hold a fraction to the sweet deals that I’m packin’
Banks, Prisons, Airships, Complexes, I’ve beat them all, and then-
What did you do, that’s new? Oh yeah! Escaped school… again...
Priceless gems? I steal em; Brighter friends? You need em
I’m Breakin’ Banks and taking tanks, you use plot holes for your freedom!
No matter what you point and click, I top your “Legacy Edition” any day
But it seems like I had no trouble “Completing the Diss-ion” anyway!

PHIL EGGTREE
This beaver’s spittin’ ‘gainst this bread crumb from the internet’s trash can-
Now after countless parodies, this rash distraction’s at his last stand
Tried to capitalize on nostalgia, relying on old, tired game cliches
While I’ve been going strong for many years and I’m still free to play! (Ay!)
Your lines are paper thin, cutting less than your “valid stingers”
I’ve seen sicker stick figure spitters come out of Salad Fingers
No matter what the timeline, that whole verse was your lamest sad jam
Mission Failed! You shoulda stuck with Charles if you wanted the Greatest Rap Plan! (Oh!)

ANNOUNCER
Who was the Flashiest?
Who do you wanna see battle next?
Well, you decide! 
This has been Stark’s Rap Battles, we’ll see ya next time!

Henry Stickmin vs. Phil Eggtree | SRB

Fightmarker as Ticci Toby - https://www.youtube.com/c/FightmarkersRapBattles
Rabi as Sally Face - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCETrcEp4evrBX5v6H5DgDFA


Beat by Trunxks Beats - https://player.beatstars.com/?storeId=90621
Beat rearranged by Cri
Mixed by jort
Written by: Cri and Nooby
Additional Help by: 01Tyler10 and Rabi
Thumbnail by: M!CAH
Art by: Blast03


Battle:

Sally Face: 
Guess I’ll be the one to start this off... since you’re too unstable to 
The Wretched Jeff rip-off... that failed to reel in views
Dreams and memories lost… burned your life down to start anew 
Follow a tall guy in a suit... the only “Creator” to ever want you 
Trial and error just like your creation another warped mind succumbing to temptation
Left with a scattered brain in isolation another Slenderman stabbing within our nation
Your whole life you've faced discrimination, from an abusive home to your education
I’d say give your story more imagination, but you'd crash and burn with your family’s reputation 
More of a pussy than Gizmo is, even he gets more love than this lunatic
And it's humorous, your numerous, ruinous ways had left you a loser kid
There's just too much risk- with all your issues, what makes you think you could spit it sick?
Dude, you're so detached from reality that even your author was losin' it

Ticci Toby: 
I’ve listened to your rambles and I don’t know what this is all about…
Been passing the time to close out everything that came out your mouth
Friends betrayed by this Barbie doll, honestly it’s nothing new
Portrayed like you let your Sanity Fall, but still couldn't manage to make a breakthrough
Let's go back to before they ripped the logic from your story 
Now you're unable save face cause no one wants to see you gory
Right now your starting to bore me just by listening to your allegory
But trust isn't in you inventory cause it seems your word is nugatory
I can tell your mind isn’t quite the clearest so why don’t you tell me what true fear is
You ward off ghosts and evil spirits but couldn’t ward off the D.O.G killing mother dearest
You kept going on full throttle ,switching up styles never thinking to stop 
Treat you like Larry chugging bottles when I make bodies and the beat drop

Sally Face: 
Larry had to do what he thought needed to be done 
To get rid of the darkness before it took over everyone 
You based all of your actions off of your pettiness and sorrow
Darkness within yourself, for you the sun won’t come out tomorrow 
I neutralize all types of evil while you’re put in the same lane as Marble Hornets
Killing cultist atop cathedrals, your an Observer under an entity’s endorsement
So I guess that this is goodbye… there’s no more in this life for you
No matter how hard you tried you couldn't prevent the lighting of your short fuse

Ticci Toby:
Wanna talk about a short fuse! I’ll be the one to leave your whole street up in flames!
But at this point there is no use! You scorched a marriage just by making your game
We were both seen as freaks, barely got a true loving touch 
But the main difference between you and I is that I don’t care that fucking much 
I wouldn’t be one to say you’re alright cause your emotional state is just as fragile as your eye
I may kill people out of spite but when they see my face I don't break down and cry
Your fame was just another trend, 2018 is where you were left to rot
Everything that has a beginning has an end and yours wasn’t much of a shock

Ticci Toby vs Sally Face - Rap Battles by Cri (ft. Rabi and Fightmarker)

This is the last danganronpa battle I swear
MetagrossMatt as Ryoma Hoshi
Swoldow as Whitty
Beat produced by LifeelBeatsVNZL
Written by Trakked, Mason the Nation
Additional help by Dani Frias, ENNWAY
Mixed by Light, Trakked (sound effects)
Thumbnail by Jordy
Art by KCToons

Battle:
Whitty:
Oh. I don't want to do this again, kid.
I wanna be left alone, so make like your rep and end it.
(Ugh) You can't befriend shit, so let this be a lesson
You don't know who you're messin', do me a favor and get bent, bitch!
'Least people actually like me, so take your fake cig and bite me 
You're even shorter than the other kid that tried to fight me

Ryoma:
With that bomb head, I’d think you're skilled at trading blows
But nope, you've just shown that you still have a ways to go.
I'd much rather stay away from a shady dude like you 
But it doesn't take Kade to know ya got some screws loose
Abandoned as a child; and while I can sympathize,
At least I don't go around wishing for some guy's demise
Running away from your problems won't help you in the long run, kid
Must've gone Over your Head, though, actin' all tough like a punk kid
I've had enough of this glutton, you're pushing my buttons, got nothing, no substance, not even a line
End with a concussion when I'm busting rhymes, breaking your background like your fragile mind
I've seen better in Gumball, and since you claim that you rock,
I doubt you could run that lip with steel balls hitting your fuse box

Whitty:
...Don't make me do this. You're fucking nuts.
If you think you're gonna kill me then you're shit out of luck
(*drops mic, ballistic mode*)
REALITY RIPS AT ITS SEAMS, IF YOU REALLY WANNA CHALLENGE ME 
THEN STOP SPITTING YOUR FALLACIES, YOU FUCKING LAME-ASS TRAVESTY
IT'S SAD TO SEE YOUR POTENTIAL GONE; SCRAPPED BY THE ONES WHO MADE YOU
GO DROWN FROM THIS FLOW AND CRACK LIKE MY PSYCHE WHEN I BREAK YOU
CURSE YOU! CURSE YOU AND THE FILTH THAT MADE YOU
CALL THIS BATTLE KILLER TENNIS 'CAUSE I FUCKING PLAYED YOU 
GO DIE IN A DITCH, LITTLE BITCH, MAKING NO SENSE LIKE YOUR PITCH
MUST'VE HAD HELP FROM THE WITCH IF YOU THINK YOU'LL BEAT THIS GLITCH
DISAPPEARED LIKE YOUR WILL TO LIVE; BEFORE I GO BACK TO THE METRO, 
I'LL GIVE A TIP TO THE MAFIA AND SEND YOU RIGHT BACK TO DEATH ROW

Ryoma:
Seen my fair share of psychopaths, but jeez, cool your jets, kid
Name speaks for itself, go take these bars and get arrested
Not even Kirumi can clean up your graphing and anti-mashing
Took down mafia, I can surely dropshot your unstable rapping
The spotlight's far from reach for you; I hope by now you've learned
Now you can join me in being a shell of what we once were.

Ryoma Hoshi vs Whitty - Rap Cypher #22

wow! another creepypasta battle! how original, trakked!
WoodenHornets as Abandoned by Disney
Spidey Fam as Gateway of the Mind
Beat produced by Trunkxs
Written by Trakked and Nooby
Mixed by Jordy
Thumbnail by Trakked

Battle:
Abandoned By Disney: (0:29)
Welcome to Treasure Island! It’s time I put your mind to silence
You’ll find I’m violent, so I’ll defile this eyeless private
Did you read the sign? Mascots only in my territory, 
Can’t bear your story, so short, yet so unfairly boring!
So, why do you wanna pick a fight against me? I don’t mean your studies when I say you shouldn’t test me
You claim to see a deity? You don’t impress me. So imma make a hot dog outta this deadbeat
It’s a game; cat and mouse, and you are the victim, i’d tell you to listen but you’re a lost cause
You’d stay in your house, but with all those symptoms, I’d say that we both are abandoned by God!
Hoho! Go back to your nursing home, you elderly disgrace
Maybe they’ll put you down to stop you tearing at your face
You can’t escape the voices, your frail attempts make me scoff
But enough of this wild goose chase.. I wanna see your head come off!

Gateway of the Mind: (1:12)
Oh dear.. They don’t stop.. Please don’t make me fight...
It’s time you finally climb out your hole and see the light
Open the gate, see the truth and know the meaning of my visions
As the doors of Heaven close, you will never be forgiven.

Abandoned by Disney:(1:25)
You had visions of your wife and I’m sure that was pretty tragic
But as soon as you died, your story did too and lost its magic
I wish my senses were gone too.. You.. think that you’ll fool me?
I thought I was abandoned by people, but who remembers your movie?

Gateway of the Mind:(1:40)
My mind serves as a gateway toward paranormal events
While you seek hatred to the corporation that you represent 
And they lost millions of dollars due to you failing with business
So makes sense you lost your head when it’s riddled with mental illness
I have spoken with God, and he’s told me to do this; I’ll hold no restraint on myself
It’s clear through the years that you already blew this, take these words and I’ll send you to hell
I speak with the dead so I know why you’re here, your franchise was lost because all those expenses
So If you want to talk with Walt Disney, I suggest you abandon your senses.
You were thrown in shallow water, stuck in xenophobic history
Inverted and perverted, no, your costume holds no beauty
They weren’t happy with your buildings, so your bankruptcy’s no mystery
I’m finally released from my torment and God has opened his gate to me

Abandoned by Disney vs Gateway of the Mind - Rap Cypher #24

Originally uploaded: September 22, 2021

garbageGothic as JaidenAnimations
RaccoonBroVA as Patchy The Pirate
Written by Serena, Mason, and Special Inquisitor Rayyan
Produced by Kustom
Mixed by Serena
Beat Re-arranged by Serena
Art by Nooby

Patchy:
Argh Potty look what we have here! (What Patchy?)
The Youtube version of a slimy buccaneer
It’s ironic that she acts all high and mighty
When she got her fame from minecraft YT
You walk the plank, Jaiden? Cause you sank, Jaiden
Nowadays you only care about your bank, Jaiden
Face the facts, Jaiden, you’re just the net’s next fad
Another faceless personality behind a sketch pad
Made a song opening up, ironically left your rep erased
Even boyinaband couldn’t help your case
Squarepants my hero, second to zero
Watching your videos make me feel like I’m in limbo

Jaiden:
When I was young, of course I watched a lot of cartoons
But it seems that one of them just had a couple parts loose!
Luckily I had to skip the whole “contacting” hassle
Because guess who decided to show up to rap battle?
Patchy the Pirate! Raspy the Parrot!
About time I leave this fake pirate silent!
Nickelodeon wanted you to escar-go
Then they replaced you with the P Star Show
Your relevance and your career is deep in the sea
After listening to your verse, it’s easy to see
You should’ve stayed praising Spongebob by your shrine
After this, you’ll need 2 pints of Moonshine

Patchy:
I thought you’d pack more heat for an Arizonan resident
But I guess you’re used to being burnt out and it’s evident

Jaiden:
Even with your spare foot, you can’t step up to a pro trainer
I’ll speedrun this battle, leaving your ship wrecked is a no-brainer!

Patchy:
Tried to rise above the dirt but you’re the thing you’re afraid of
Shilling out Samurai Buyer like “JAIDEN BETRAYED US!”
Went from relatable story times to complaining and playing games
Even this pirate can’t get on board your ship with James

Jaiden:
With that raspy voice the Captain couldn’t keep a Hook on the beat
The only thing that Patchy needs to patch now is his teeth
All those dreams of meeting Spongebob? You can forget em
I’m finished rapping against this phony, ARI! GET EM!

JaidenAnimations Vs Patchy The Pirate. Rap Battle Arena. (Feat. GarbageGothic And RaccoonBroVA)

GREAT DEALS ON A SPECIALTY [Rap Battle]!!!
Quizzique as Spamton 
RaccoonBro as Solomon
Beat produced by Tom Quick, Audio Network
Written by Trakked, CreeperPasta 
Additional help by King Ducky
Mixed by GamingPlush64, Trakked (beat mix)
Thumbnail by Trakked

Battle:

Solomon:
Still the best since 1973 (uh)
Spillin’ RED, can’t try to fend against me
When you.. start seeing me come onto the screen
You know a better, badder monster just walked onto the scene
Tried to bite off a Kaiju, uh, you really wanna fight me, bud?
Glasses looking static, broken, when I open, light him up
Leave a Kromer addict moping, choking, go and try to front
Ya never seen the sky while I'm in flight, don't give a flying fuck

Spamton (0:42):
HEY! H-H-HEY! ARE YOU [Living Alone?]
IF YOU WANT SOME [Compensation] THEN COME [Pick up the phone]
YOU'RE TRAIT eR<, AREN'T YOU? HERE'S A [Deal] YOU CAN'T PASS
FOR A [Very Specil Offer] YOU CAN [Kiss my ass!]
I”M A [BIG SHOT!] CLIPPING STRAIGHT THROUGH YOUR [Hitbox]
LOOKING LIKE A [piece of junk] I’D SEE IN THE GIFT SHOP
[10 out of 10 rated] SO YOU KNOW I'M THE BEST 
IF YOU WONT TAKE MY DEAL THEN YOU CAN [Die like the rest.]

Solomon:
Tryna frighten Lightners by popping out of your box
Used to be at the top of your game and then you fell off
Just like your stocks, maybe go crash and burn somewhere else
A literal dumpster fire 'gainst a hero from Hell
I'd much rather die than buy your shitty products
Tryna fight, but your prices are dropping, it's idiotic
Cry back to the Addisons; I'm not one you can bribe
Drop all your pals like flies and now I'm dropping the mic

Spamton (1:25):
…..
Mike…
Mike.. are you listening?
Are you there?
Help me, Mike…..
…
HEHAHAHHHEHHAHH (spamton laugh)
(*beat glitches back in*)
[Don't believe what you see on TV], AND I MEAN IT!!!
[Holy Queen of Sweden]!! THOSE TEETH NEED SOME CLEANING!!
YOU NEED TO [save Face] AND KEEP YOURSELF LOCKED
WANT [Your ticket to redemption]?? SIMPLY [Hyperlink Blocked]
YOU'LL NEED [health insurance] SINCE YOUR FACE GOT WRECKED
YOUR STORY HAS [scares!] BUT NO [HeartShapedObejct]
YOURE HOGGING THE [pie chart] AND I AINT GONNA TAKE CRUMBS
NOW TAKE A GODDAMN VACATION BACK TO THE HELL YOU CAME FROM!!!

Solomon:
Kris is your only friend, yet they still left ya slashed
You're just a puppet to the ratings; got some strings attached
Was evicted from the mansion, now NEO's your last resort
Another icy death when I rip your ads with scorn

Spamton (2:07):
PRESS [F1] FOR [Doubt]. IF YOU THINK THAT YOURE HOLY
YOUR [salvation] WAS ON SALE FOR [a limited time only]
I'M MR. [Help me! IT BURNS!], YOU CAN’T [stomach the heat]
PRAY FOR REVIVAL AGAIN AFTER THIS [Crushing] DEFEAT
(Spamton laugh)

Spamton vs Solomon - Rap Cypher #25

I am the Trakked Man.
Freshy Kanal as The Russian Sleep Experiment
RNG and Quizzique as The Hat Man
Beat produced by InsaneBeatz
Written by Trakked
Additional help by nEon, Zagranis
Mixed and engineered by Freshy Kanal
Thumbnail by Trakked

Battle:
The Hat Man:
I am the hat man, and I dispense fear
I know you’re wondering now, “how did I get here?”
Well listen chap, this dapper rapper has a thing to say
Prepare to watch as your vision’s tainted, I bring decay
I am a con man, donning a hat and robe
You’re far gone, man, you’ve already shat your clothes
You’re dependent on some toxic gas to stay calm
And you’re looking like you went through twenty bombs with napalm
Trapped in a cell for fifteen days, tried to keep awake
And you seem insane from the chamber
You’re simply a weak display, it is bleak, just face 
It, can’t seek escape from the danger
Unfortunate your door is open to many mistakes
It’s as if you forced it open, and now it’s about to break
You should know, sir, you brought me in on your own terms
So when that door crumbles I’ll never give you closure.

Subject 1:
Am I what you fear in a man?
A hellish, cold vessel, a mere shell of a man?
One that always hears all the screams and tears of the damned?
I’m not scared of silhouettes, bring me to Hell if you can
(*laughter*) You couldn’t cage me, please! 
I’m seen as the demon of the KGB
If you want to try your hand at erasing me,
Then like me, grab onto my flesh and take a piece!
How sweet, you’re residing under childrens’ beds at night,
Frightened by a bit of light, while I’m the reason that they hide
And you’re looming over humans doing nothing
(*deep breath*) I rip the researchers to shreds and make the onlookers disgusted 
So if you want to try and pass some judgement, go and stuff it up
Your ugly mug, repugnant, and you’re nothing but 
A bug to me, so shut it, I will cut you up and flood this drug;
I've shrugged off thuds, cuts and blood, while you're only done when I pull the plug
Makes sense with the hat, now, you're dishing some caps out
Belongs in a crack house, causing drunkards to black out
I've had doubts, but I know myths are better off dead
So go off yourself now and GET OUT OF MY HEAD

The Hat Man:
Want me to keep cutting? It's not like you had a choice
You've already torn your vocal cords and shredded your voice
Was a traitor to the Soviets and put in constraints
I'm in minds across the world; the enemy of the mental state
The Hat Man leaves lands desolate. If you wanna mess with this,
I suggest you break your psyche twice and put an end to it
Then maybe you’ll see me in Hell
Reliving all your worst moments trapped inside a padded cell
Negative feelings are what I eat
Take a look at your film's ratings and I'm feasting for weeks
You have no room for debating when your blank one ain't unique
Your life is for my taking; now drift deep into sleep


Subject 1:
You can’t sedate me into silence, I am madness incarnate
The insanity lurking within humanity’s mind
You’re just hiding in the corner as if you were a target
Pure depravity causing calamities in the night
I’m so nearly free from hearing you speak again
Prepare to see me break the nocturnal haven in which you tread
And you may be known across the globe as a terrible bad sign,
Yet you can’t prevent your status dying, hear the flatline?

The Hat Man vs The Russian Sleep Experiment - Rap Cypher #30

RaccoonBroVA as Homelander
Grasman as Patrick Bateman
written by Grasman
mixed by Jort
beat prod. by Dansonn 

Announcer:
rrrrRAP BATTLE!
PATRICK BATEMAN
VERSUS!
THE HOMELANDER!

Patrick Bateman:
They’ve put me up against the biggest loser at Vought 
Who kills anyone who wrongs him, except for his opps
Apparently he’s worshiped as the number one supe 
But he’s a fraud, oh my god, look at that padded suit. 

You like Hughie Campbell and The Boys? Imma guess not 
Cause’ they played you like your toys and got you messed up 
Got mixed in with the Butchers and now all of your threats fail 
Indestructible, but your kryptonite is some black mail?

How could Mr. “Super-Trump” be threatening to anyone 
When every single episode your team of Seven is down by one
Anyone you've ever trusted ends up dead
And Please, John, cool it with the anti-semetic girlfriend 

You were drugged as fetus, now you're high on power
Being poured out of a test tube, was your baby shower
Is reading your comics something you're meant to enjoy? 
But man, you way too many issues, Sigma Freud

Homelander:
How exactly is this fair, I mean, I am a god on earth 
Yet a bunch of mud people get to tell me what I’m worth 
Stand down, bud, you’re not even cut out to be a super villain 
When a little girl went ahead and bashed your brains in 

I’m The Homelander, a beacon of hope and justice 
Born to perfection like marble, yet take a look who I’m stuck with 
You’re like Tom  Cruise but more dead eyed and misogynistic 
I mean I’ve even seen the deep be more respectful to women

The Deep:  (Bro..!)

I walk into a room and people bend the knee to worship me 
You walk into a room and everyone thinks you’re the biggest creep
My fans know that I bring the heat, your fantasies won’t get you far 
Haven’t seen a grown man this delusional since Black Noir 

Man you got me thinking, how are you not arrested? (how?)
You’re just like fire cracker, being rode by prepubescents
Bash your head in like Paul, although that really didn't happen
You confessed to it all, yet people still don't take you serious

Patrick Bateman:
You're the biggest mistake that Voughts ever come up with
Every father in your life says you’re a disappointment
It’s gotten to the point where your own son wants you cut 
Spare the world from your yaps and bite your tongue off like Stormfront

You’re handling riots worse than you’re handling Ryan 
I’m not pumped up with V, yet I’m still leaving em’ dying 
And quit  your crying and whining, if people saw behind closed doors
They'd drop this stupid bastard just like Chelsea on the floor

Homelander:
I’m tired of these disses, and I’m sick of this antagonizing
I’m tired of this disrespect, I’m tired of apologizing 
Don't you dare compare me to this insecure incel
Cause I’m stronger, I’m smarter, I’m better! I am better!

Put more newspapers on the ground when you’re battling me 
Cause you’ll be left with no face for your morning routine 
I’ll tear you apart, and leave this stock broker broken
So maybe when you reach hell you’ll finally fit in

Patrick Bateman vs. Homelander - RAP BATTLE! (2024)

ORIGINALLY UPLOADED ON 04/15/2022

LYRICS

Happy Appy:
Hey kids! It’s an episode of Happy Appy!
And on today’s show, we’ll be snapping through a sappy sad freak!
Now this matchup may make it look like we’re equal
But I hope you remember my tips on how I burn people! 
This little sock puppet thinks he’s got somethin’
But just try and start talkin’ and I’ll make sure that that maw’s shut, kid
I’m bad to the bone, check how much my core’s sickened
I’ll take this metal pole I got and bludgeon your fucking corpse with it
You can take it from Miranda, I kill it when I run tracks
Like Bo’s career in standup, you’re not able to come back
So I predict that you’ll crash when this apple is spitting
Why’s this outlier being silenced? Well that’s natural, children

Socko:
Woooow, Appy, that sure was a lot!
But I’ll have to make like Nick Jr. and turn it all off
‘Cause I can’t bare your snuff films or the words that you brought
So I’ll let some curses out when I’m burning this doll
Ok so first off, what the fuck is up with your plot, man?
Took to crashing planes, since your ratings just could not land
From your fires, the addresses, and killing kids with your shiny knife
Makes sense this shit Mr. Bear wannabe aired in ‘99
Hell, your whole fucking deal is the fact you’re a joke
And a shit one! No wonder Forenzik dropped the act and then croaked
So I’m happy your show found a home as you can rot in hell now
Wanna redeem yourself? Take that syringe and knock yourself out

Happy Appy:
Oh no, everybody! Seems our buddy flunked his verse!
But don’t worry, Happy Appy’s here to teach him how this works
4 minus 1? (3!) 8 minus 6? (2!)
Take the sock, you’re left with Oobi with no Eyes on Him (Ooh!)
I’ve killed astronauts, yet you still choked more than them!
Go back to your little purgatory of Burnham’s tormentin’
I’ll show you where to start if you wanna escape that prison cell
                                               Kill yourself

Socko:
Are you fucking serious? Suicide’s the hardest bar that you throw?
The only laughs you’ll get from that are toddlers watching your show
Like come on, you creepypastas are supposed to be frightening, right?
But I’m getting scared at the quality on how they write you guys
Made as a shitpost to read on Roblox threads late at night
And your rewrite came, and spoilers, nobody found anything of worth
Now your owner’s bawling his eyes just because he has to say outright
That Appy’s just a fad, and kids, That’s How The World Works

CREDITS

Danii as Happy Appy
WoodenHornets as Socko

Written by Rabi
Beat prod. by Epistra
Additional Instrumentation by Swizkii, Freshy Kanal, Snakebite126, JustGamer, and Nikki
Mixed and Mastered by Freshy Kanal
Art by noobydotwad and BMB
Cover art by Rabi

Happy Appy vs. Socko - Rap Battle

Leo Barqui as Dimentio
Lee Bergantino as The Collector
Sanpie as Nastasia
Lew Kreerdun as O’Chunks
Jingleberry as Mimi
Writing by Alchemyking
Art by Lew Kreerdun
Beat by Anywaywell
Beat arrangement by TheNauticalClaydol
Mixing by Jordy
Cover art by LimJJ
Special thanks: garbageGothic, DreyahVA, Fightmarker, Lee Bergantino, MetaStarVA

Dimentio:
OHOHOHOHO! 
I am Dimentio! The one who always wrecks the Bros.! The one who flips between friend and foe!
Yet I don’t think the challenge that Bleck foretold was… babysitting a ten-year-old?
Yes, it’s the Collector’s show! Though like the creature that protects your home
You’re sure to put me to sleep… and that’s set in stone!

A temper tantrum’s the only way you’d attack who you’re fighting
So go back to your whining, ‘cause it’s a clash of the Titans
You’re crafting whole islands from corpses for your machinations
But a curse is the only way anyone’d be attached to your creations

I’m a right hand man! Got my boss in my palm, even though I was cast from nothing
Some god you are! Belos pulls the strings like you’re a shadow puppet
Your goals were so barebones that he threw you into a pit full of skeletons
Now you’re trapped inside that mirror… maybe work on some self-reflection, kid

The Collector:
I’M BOOOOORED! To play a game, you know how far I’d go
But I have to draw the line at… Super Paper Mario? (BLEH!)
Okay, I’ll humor you if you’re promising a festival
But none of your antics can change that you’re not even two-dimensional! (HAHA!)

So what’s your favorite activity? Well, skimming through your plot bits
We could play tag… but that wouldn’t work. (Why?) ‘Cause you’re not it! (OHHH!)
We could pillow fight, but based on all the scenes you’ve fought in
Like Fracktail, you’re simply ro… wait, that line doesn’t work! DARN IT!

But still, citizens always remember me when they see the sky
You need to plant seeds in them to stick in people’s minds
I learned how to make amends, but I can’t forget the way you betrayed your friends
But you can still be my doll, we’ll play pretend! I never want our game to end!

Dimentio:
Play pretend with me? Please! Winning tag’s the only way you’d ever hit me
To shut you down, I don’t need Dimension D - I just need Dimension Disney
The only people who act worshipful to you are a murderous cult
Yet no matter how many Titans they slaughter, that point can’t get through your sturdy skull

But don’t take it from me, the story’s etched deep in slabs
Of how your family thinks you’ll never be a man
So they left you playing hide and seek, then ran
Now you’re really a lost boy, Peter Pan
Doesn’t matter if you’re Flipping Sides
Your powers ain’t effective in fixing lives
I’ll wave “Ciao!” as you leave that witch to die
That’s the only time Luz sees you in a different light

The Collector
On second thought, a Picasso’s not worth adding to my halls of art
Stay behind with your loser entourage, you ain’t controlling this chaotic heart!
Of COURSE you’d come up short when you fused with Mr. L
But I like a fair game, so I’ll let your coworkers speak for themselves!

(The Collector takes control of Nastasia, O’Chunks, and Mimi like puppets)

"Your performance review’s lacking… and I don’t mean theatrics"
"‘Tis right! With all yer acting, ye’ve dealt way too much hammage!"
"I SPIT on you! Got beat by hearts, but you don’t deserve affection!"
I guess when he self-destructed, he blew his shot at redemption! (KABOOM! HAHAHAHA!)

The Collector vs. Dimentio - Disney Rap Battles! (The Owl House vs. Super Paper Mario)

Ego as Granny 
Ego as Grandpa
TheToppo as The Warden
Beat by: Sapjer and Bross
Written by: Ego, lowkdoodles and jordy
Mixed by: jordy
Cover art by: Cidisswo

LYRICS:

EGO RAP BATTLES!!!!

GRANNY!!!!

VS!!!!

THE WARDEN!!!!

BEGIN!!!!

[Granny]
(laughs) ugh I am your granny, this hack I am hacking and slashing 
And with this bat, your head I will bash in, show you im batshit, like pepper spray: can it
Downloads go up like attics, The Warden, oh hes just so rancid
And on the track, im dropping bear traps, so how could you match up? you’re already half dead
You should respect your elders, or join the rest of my helpers (Hhh, hhh)
Is it a suprise that I’m better? The one with the spider came up on the web first
Beware, granny is no fable, I’m heavy metal like a Granny smithing table
You wont find MY keys, Warden, wanna play hide and seeeeeek?
Aint one to be played with, I keep the player in the basement
But with the way your updates went, you left your fans in the deep dark, but that aint what your player base meant!
Want a war then warden? Battle me, you’re cooked
Make like angelene and book
And you shouldn’t feel too bad you haven’t any ears
You havent made noise in the fandom in years
After this bat-tery its lights out, unless you want you be ground, you should burrow back into it right now
And the only reason that you got more power than the enderdragon is that in the end you're draggin all your fights out
You couldn't beat me with your TV tropes, sir 
Keep your E rating I’ll stick with DV Loper
You got 2 verses left so try to talk back
And we’ll who’s really immune to knockback

[Warden]
Yo granny it’s past your bedtime
Lay victims to bed but you can’t lay a rhyme
I’m glad that I’m blind so I cant see your games shit design
Your textures are more pixelated than mine
Your names funny, youre not a grandma, youre a dang mummy
In your lil’ red santa hat, feeling all festive-like
Watch me grab my catalyst and check it twice *skulk sound*
For like 5 days, you were trending
Then you went to shit like your franchise took the sewer ending
I dug out, when you’re up to bat
Its ironic, a Grammy would suck at rap (ahh)
And If I were you, Id be driven
Instead of cars, to fix your lighting engine
No eyes, one look at me scares all the children
You’re a phone game, I'm THE out of pocket addition
Slendrina, I’ll take you to school
But like your model they should have gave you the boot
And I wouldn’t sweater, go back to your knitting club, 
Tick me off and the grandfather is getting clocked
You would eat crow in a cage fight 
This is your last chance, like day 5 
Couldn’t even hit your own target audience
Out of ammo and aimless, as your AI 

[Grandpa and Granny]
(AHA!) No wrench but you might be screwed
Better bolt or ill send you the “ICU” 
When I swing it you know it’s such a sweet sensation
Even Marky Mark rapped better good vibrations
I’ve never heard a verse that left me more bored
Best watch your step like The Creaking. Floorboards.
Can’t you see why you Diana (die and i) live?
If you don’t want smoke, than stay out the crib!

[Warden]
We both have underground societies
But your following is counting down, like hide and seek
Your dental plan’s a disturbing signt
Use them white pearl eyes for some pearly whites
Hit the cutting room floor, once the remakes phased you out
Kids left you behind and now the retirement home is granny’s house

Granny vs The Warden (Minecraft) - Ego Rap Battles

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The Hat Man vs The Russian Sleep Experiment - Rap Cypher #30

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