Stay with me (prod. by JellyJuiceMusic)

IMPULSIVE.

retrograde

this song is all about wishing you never crossed a friendship with someone because it hurt you both and ruined the overall relationship.

intimate as friends

(: I tried,I PROMISE its gonna be ok!

lyrics
(talking) I get it maybe life isn't treating u easy right now, maybe ur grades are failing n ur going through so much stuff that u feel like u won't get through it, u feel like giving up is the only answer but I promise to u that its not. u gotta keep going it'll be okay. 

I know, what it feels to be alone, what it feels to be alone. but u gotta know, how to handle how it feels to be alone, feels to be alone. maybe ur going through tough times n I'm sorry cause so am I. but u gotta keep going, its not worth the pain, n its not worth the time oooh ya.

(hook)the reflection of my face, so wouldn't even recognize or, who put me in this place, I wouldn't even recognize. time always being so cruel I could've blamed me but I blame u , I do.

I know how it feels to feel so in the dark, to not know where to start, ooh but u need to go lift ur head up n move on cause ur gonna get through this, I know u will I know its hard sometimes n it might feel so unreal but I know but I know ur gonna get through it , it ur gonna get past the times that u don't like jus give it some time ooh. 

 (hook)the reflection of my face, someone wouldn't even recognize or, who put me in this place, I wouldn't even recognize. time always being so cruel I could've blamed me but I blame u , I do.

I know I know I know what u feel. u know u know u know you'll get through it , you'll get through it I know u will.

U GOT THIS

so moral of the story, last night I was having a rough time with anxiety. so I decided to find a beat I liked and poor out my emotion into a freestyle, this freestyle. also, there is some background noises that can be heard but I really wanted to keep the song as raw as possible n here it is! 
(eg. Prod by RDY Beats)

ANXIETY {FREESTYLE}.

beat credits to RETRO. This song really is to explain how im stuck in a RUT which im having a hard time getting out of and need some guidance but i lost my trust making it hard to get some that i believe in. i begin saying "why arent you listening, i really understand, i know it isnt easy " because im trying to say you know i get it that its not going easy but its so worth it and to keep going and dont forget ur worth. so heres to "RUT"

RUT.

so I've been going through something lately n I'm pretty sure to anyone listening you may get what it is by listening. this song is very deep n meaningful to me n if you are going through something similar , I'm sorry keep going its gonna be okay. (PROD. BY HORUS)

i'm sorry, so sorry.

(photo creds:emily cox)(beat producer: Halie Music)
honestly, songs like this are ones I want to look back and remember one day. its a freestyle yes, but I think there rly is something beautiful about raw emotions. many times ill record and re record n re record and the emotion is still there but some days songs like this come around and you wonder if it'll be enough and if anyone cares because its just you , your voice, and a beat out of random. not heavily edited or re recorded multiple times to get the "right one" freestyles for me I just click record and say anything I'm feeling, n for some reason I feel like this ones meant to be posted whether 1 person listens or 50 its a process and songs like this need to be made to look back on , so I can remember how far I've came since this song. Ive been told a lot to be more vulnerable and just let people in on my emotions so here I am, letting y'all into my more vulnerable side. bottom line is this: create n execute n post post post no matter what, I have a start as a following but the main goal right now is to just go up from here n nothing else, its to spread what I've been going through to hopefully let people know that they ARENT SO ALONE. I hope u feel as much emotion listening as I did recording.

where is everybody going?

this track is one that means a lot to me personally. n is a vunerable one for me. as someone who doesn't wanna do drugs or drink ive always wondered whats wrong with me? and why can't I be like everyone else? its never been me, n I used to hate me because I didn't wanna be a part of it, n I felt as if nobody understood me or even does now. lately I've become more accepting with the idea that I'm not a person who uses those things to escape reality (not saying everyone does) but sometimes people do n I get it, thats their escape , but for me escaping the reality has always been music n a beat. when I'm sad I go make a song or in a mood, its always been a major part of my life n thats always helped me get out of my head for a bit. I hope this song can mean something to u, jus as it does for me. keep going, okay? 
BEAT BY FEELO. 
his beat store: http://www.feelomusic.com

keep going, okay?

so this song is a very vulnerable one for me, jus a lot of emotions I've been feeling lately. thank u for listening n supporting n for making me feel like I have a purpose. if life is throwing some major curveballs at u right now UR NOT ALONE n it gets better. keep pushing.

it all hurts.

lyrics: its been a long process but i know im getting up there, nobody believed in my vision but i just said this wasn't fair. Cause i was doing what made me happy but nobody even showed a care and im gonna keep on working im not gonna stop right here not gonna not gonna not gonna stop right here. why would i why would i why would i stop right there. cause im gonna make it i dont wanna listen to the haters i dont think u understand what ur saying cause i know u dont believe in the vision so why are you talking to me cause im tired of listening to your bullshit yeah im tired of it 




honestly, wrote this song awhile back. but me n my friend tahlia were jus on face time reminiscing on old music I've never released n this ones always stuck with me. mainly because when I wrote this song when I felt almost unstoppable n lately my mindsets turned off from unstoppable to doubtful n someday I wanna look back on this n remember the ups n the downs n the song is already a song I wanna look back on n grow from n say "that song is defiantly one of those hype I use for fake concerts in my room, the song I would jump around too" hahaha seriously this song is one of the most random to just drop right now , BUT Spotify is coming w a new sound n everything n for songs like this one It feels necessary to share share share w the Soundcloud world. it feels right. heres to a song I wrote months ago. BELIEVE IN ME. (BEAT CREDS TO HORUS)

BELIEVE IN ME.

a lil bit about the song... in the start of the song its about me feeling sad & worthless , like im misunderstood and forgotten. the chorus is pretty empowering basically sticking up for myself, after being pushed around a lot. & second verse is about getting there, starting to get back to me and realizing that i can do it. i hope u enjoy, this song means so much to me. P.S- whatever you're going through right now.
 U AREN'T ALONE N U WILL GET THROUGH THIS.
COVER ART CREDS : GABBIE WRIGHT


LYRICS
i don’t see the purpose, i’m trying i’m trying 
i don’t feel worth it , i’m trying i’m trying 
u don’t understand me.  no no /: 
u jus see right past me. ): 

gotta b strong enough thru this, i cant give in i’m trying ohh, trying my best. 
u thought i was fool for u but i’m worth it 
tired of everyone telling me, i have to b perfect 

i can get out of my bed mhm
i can get out of my head.
i know i cant give in, no
u cant win , u won’t win again. 

gotta b strong enough thru this i cant give in 
i’m trying ohhh, i’m trying my best. 
u thought i was lost in you, 
i’m finding myself without u. 
oohh. oo, ooh.

lost in time.

hello! a lil bit of info on this song... its about how i typically feel or have felt on many birthdays. going through a lot of lonliness and hard times. having none of my friends around because all the friends i have live so far away. to anyone who relates and who can feel this, i am here for u to remind u that YOU ARE NOT ALONE in this i promise. it'll be okay. the lonliness will pass. i promise. keep on keepin. keep on pushin.

cover art creds: alycia willis.

Alone On My Birthday

this song is very heavy on my heart n very personal, if u feel it too..  im here n u are NOT alone. things will get better.

missed attempts.

so this song is basically to anyone who is going thru a similar experience. i've gone through this a lot going back to be strangers again. its like one moment u and this person and close and the next everything changes and you stop communication completely and youre jus left being strangers. if u are going through this i promise it gets better. n itll be okay.

STRANGERS AGAIN.

hello! this song is more outta my comfort zone and sumn different. i felt like it was time to release something im genuinely proud of even if it gets mixed reviews. this song comes from somewhere in my heart that ive dealt with for awhile the feelings of people in general trying to control u. its a more emotional and empowering song. haha when i described the song to people i was like this song / beat is more of like an "f u" type beat. like idk if that makes sense but. here we go. from me to you. thank you.

4am time travel.

so this song is probably one of the most raw ones yet. i was sick through this recording, for me making music and singing is something that helps me cope, i was coping with unsaid  emotions in this song , emotions i didn't exactly know how to put into words. i also know the guitar is super simple but as soon as i played that little part i knew it fit my mood and the vibe i was going for. so here we are i went for it , this is out my comfort zone but i hope it can help someone out there.

something about u feels like home.

this song is about u feeling like someone u care about deserves someone better than u. its about giving so many chances even if it hurts you because u want them , u don't wanna lose this person despite how badly it may hurt to stay. this song is one of the hardest ones ive ever been towards myself, however somedays or a lot of times i feel this way. like i deserve to be hurt and i deserve to feel sad and alone that i deserve to feel all these negative emotions. i blame myself for a lot of things even when i shouldn't. heres my feelings from my heart to yours.. i hope it reminds u that u aren't alone. ur emotions are valid. n it'll always be okay.

lyrics
and i, i see the pain. its right in front of me, look me in my face. why cant i jus walk away? but then i see you, ur standing behind the pain, i don't wanna lose everything, u need better anyway. 

and i deserve to be hurting and i just need to let it be oh and i deserve to feel so lonely. and maybe u can continue hurting me and u can find somebody better than me. oh you. is that what u wanna do? 

and what if its ment to be, maybe everyones supposed to leave, maybe their all supposed to walk away from me.  

and i, i don't feel enough. for anyone its getting so tough. to hold on to the hope that ill ever find love. should i let go? of all the hope thats left, if forever really doesn't fucking last. maybe its okay n maybe i deserve to feel this way maybe i deserve to feel this pain. 

to be hurting i jus need to let it be , let i be. ooh somebody better. theres somebody better than me , than me.

u deserve better anyway.

this song is about the girl who broke my heart. i hope it helps u feel less alone. & i hope when u listen to it that u take a moment to feel everything and be okay with it, because feeling what ur most afraid of is totally okay. feeling emotions u may be scared to is okay. im right there with u. but it will be okay. we will be okay. always.

break my heart

this song holds such a deep meaning n means so much to me. thank u for letting me share my deepest n hardest thoughts with you. thank you for supporting my mf dreams. thank u. ur NEVER alone.

losing grip

this song is about a girl who very well has my heart. its actually the song i used to ask her out. its also easily one of the happiest songs i have EVER made in my life for sure the emotion in it came easy. hopefully this song can inspire you to ask your crush out, take the chance make dat shiiii happen. ur emotions are valid n you are allowed to feel them.

make you mine.

this song is one my favorites i've ever created. i hope you luvvv it & i hope it helps you feel less alone. maybe even roll ur windows down while driving and blast it for me? you are worthy , you are loved, you MATTER! do not allow anyone to make you think otherwise. you deserve so much.

nonsense

hello , this song means a lot to me n i hope you love it. i also hope you put some headphones in and just allow urself to feel. u are not alone, ur emotions are valid ALWAYS.

melancholy

October was a very rough month for me for many reasons. this song probably holds some of the strongest emotions i've felt lately n is such a special song to me for the reasons i have written it.  this song is to represent feeling empty and broke, its realizing the person who you thought was your forever is no longer that person for you. its becoming aware that you yes ... YOU have to allow urself closure to move on & that whatever you may be feeling it okay. it is to represent the broken feeling before properly healing.  i hope you love it. <3

october changed everything.

i rly fuckin miss u.

hii!! its been awhile since ive posted a new song, this one i jus made today n i rly hope u luv it. i know its super basic jus a few piano chords n my voice/not properly edited or anything but i jus liked the rawness of it jus the way it is (:  as for a lil backstory my thoughts have been messy n all over the place n this song was from exactly those feelings all at once. luv u

call me when ur sober.

omg hello!! it really has been forever since ive posted music n ive honestly have been in such a RUT. this song isnt super big production or anything n its jus the start. honestly looked up a type beat n went from there at midnight bc man i was feeling all types of ways n all i wanted to do was let out the feelings i had. and well this beat got me feelin a way. i hope you love the song, i promise more music is behind the scenes for an EP/album n i cant wait, thanks for being patient always (:  BEAT CREDITS ALL GO TO RASPO BEATS!!!

HIGHWAY DRIVING

a song all about still bein in love w that certain someone, always thinkin of them and longing for them to jus come running back. u kno the feeling. i hope u feeel sumn , ur never alone. <3 

PRODUCTION HELP: Alycia Willis

come back 2 me.

fuck!

"why do i" this song is a very personal one stemming from the things i rather not talk about. ive always felt a lot of pressure growing up n even now feeling like i needed validation from everyone else around me, to feel whole ... to feel enough. i overthink as most of us do at some point or another i lack the patience and question whether or not it will ever change. this song overall is showcasing parts of me that i am insecure about but also just a big ole question of "why do i" seek all of this in everyone else but myself n why do i feel the need to find validation in everyone but me. ive always had a hard time feeling enough especially for myself. this is a song to anyone who may be having a hard time battling any insecurities. i promise - you are not alone <3 (p.s - the beat is from raspo beats)

why do i

hello! this is song completly out of my comfort zone but i hope it makes you wanna dance around n fall in love !!!! love is beautiful n so are girls whew!

girls (did i mention im gay?)

anything for you.

yo!! i write music about what i feel. sharing my journey in hopes to inspire n let u know ur not alone in this n ur emotions are valid. time heals. always.

Alyssa T.

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