AOM Listen List

Last summer, I had Lesley Blume on the show to talk about her book "Everybody Behaves Badly" which gives the story behind the story of Hemingway’s first big novel, "The Sun Also Rises." On today’s show, I talk to an author of another book about this landmark novel, who, instead of providing the historical context of "The Sun Also Rises," explores the ideal of manliness Hemingway was trying to get at in the book. His name is Frank Miniter, he’s a journalist and the author of previous books like "The Ultimate Man’s Survival Guide." His latest is called "This Will Make a Man of You: One Man’s Search to Find What Makes Men." 

Frank and I discuss Hemingway’s project of creating a new myth of manliness that combined traditional notions of masculinity with modern sensibilities, how Frank Sinatra killed the rugged gentleman and made “cool” a defining feature of modern manliness, and what the running of the bulls can teach us about rites of passage into manhood. We end our conversation talking about Hemingway’s attraction to and repulsion from bullfighting, and why the matador was Hemingway’s ideal symbol of manliness.

#284: This Will Make a Man of You

Do you find yourself making the same mistakes over and over again in your relationships? 

For example, do you have a tendency to ignore red flags and constantly end up in relationships that aren’t healthy for you?

Maybe you end up in relationships where the initial chemistry is good, but a few months later, you’re looking for any way out. 

Well, if any of those descriptions describe you (or a friend who needs some advice!), then give this podcast a listen. 

My guests today argue that your problem is that you let yourself get suckered by love. Their names are Michael and Sarah Bennett. Michael is a psychiatrist. Sarah is Michael’s daughter and a comedy writer. I had them on the show previously to talk about their book "F*ck Feelings." In their latest book, "F*ck Love," they focus on the most messed up feeling of all: love. 

Despite the irreverent title of their book, the Bennetts provide surprisingly solid and old-fashioned advice when it comes to establishing long-lasting and fulfilling relationships. They discuss why our emotions can lead us astray in relationships and why men are actually more prone to being bamboozled by romantic feelings than women. They then share both the red flags and the positive qualities you should be on the lookout for in a partner if you want a happy relationship. They also discuss what you should do in a relationship in which you're not happy and why couple's therapy is often not very useful. 

This is a podcast full of laughs, as well as some seriously helpful insights on how to navigate relationships effectively.

Note: Even though the title of the book contains "F*ck," there's no swearing in this episode.

#288: Love is Overrated

My guest today is Antony Cummins, and we talk about his book "True Path of the Ninja."

Today on the show, Antony uncovers the biggest myths we have in the West about ninjas -- like the fact that there isn’t really a ninjutsu fighting system, nor were samurai the ninjas' sworn enemy -- and then gives the real history of these ancient warriors. Antony then shares what lessons actual ninjas can teach us folks living in the modern West about psychology and interacting with others in business and life. 

The bad news is that we're going to ruin your childhood conceptions about ninjas in this podcast, but the good news is that the real story of ninjas is even more fascinating.

#290: Everything You Know About Ninjas is Wrong

My guest today is Jordan Harbinger of the Art of Charm podcast.

While men sometimes see developing their social skills as something superficial or unimportant, these skills are essential for success in business and life. Knowing how to interact and get along with others is how we can make friends, find love, and advance our career. My guest on the podcast today has spent the past ten years helping men become more socially dynamic through his in-person coaching services and his podcast The Art of Charm. His name is Jordan Harbinger and today on the show Jordan I discuss why improving your social skills is so important and why many men often give it the short shrift. We then dig into the concept of social capital and why it might be even more vital to develop than financial capital. We end our conversation getting into brass tacks advice on how to become a social dynamo without having to be an extroverted “life of the party” cheeseball. 

This is a great podcast filled with tons of actionable steps.

#294: Learning the Art of Charm

My interview today is with Craig Marker, a StrongFirst kettlebell trainer, and psychology professor at Mercer University.

We’re big fans of the kettlebell here at the Art of Manliness. It’s a great piece of gym equipment that builds both strength and cardiovascular conditioning. Today on the show, I talk to StrongFirst kettlebell coach Craig Marker about the wonders of these little cannonballs with handles. Mark digs deep into the research done by the Soviets back in the 70s and 80s that shows why kettlebells are an effective tool for building explosive power, and how kettlebell training can improve your deadlift, help you jump higher, and even lead you to becoming a better ballerina (if that’s your thing). 

We then segue our conversation to talking about training in general and the mistakes beginners make when starting with a strength program. Mark then makes the case that in addition to our regular workouts, we should live our lives like it's the 1940s if we want to see improved health and happiness. 

We end our conversation talking a bit about Craig’s day job as a psychology professor at Mercer University and how his training as a psychologist has helped him improve his coaching and fitness training. He even shares a little trick you can play on your brain to lift more weight or run faster.

#295: Kettlebells and the Psychology of Training

My guest today is Beth Kobliner, and we discuss her latest book, "Make Your Kid a Money Genius."

Beth shares the research on the age at which most kids develop the money habits they’ll have for the rest of their life (it’s surprisingly young) and provides some basic guidelines on what you should and should not talk about with your children when it comes to money. We then dig into specific tactics on teaching your kids -- whether they’re in preschool or college -- about saving, work, insurance, and debt.

Even if you don’t have kids, you’re going to find some useful reminders in this podcast about getting your financial life in order. For those of you thinking about getting married soon, Beth shares some fascinating research on how the amount you spend on the engagement ring and wedding ceremony correlates with marital success and happiness. It will definitely provide some conversation fodder to discuss with your significant other.

#297: Make Your Kid a Money Genius

Ancient Greece and Rome have a heavy influence on the idea of manhood we promote on the Art of Manliness. In fact, this classical conception of manliness was how much of the West defined manhood up until the middle of the 20th century. If you were to ask a man living in 1920 what “manliness” meant, he’d probably give you roughly the same answer as a Greek or Roman man living 2,000 years ago. 

My guest on the podcast today is a classical scholar who has spent time thinking and writing about Greek and Roman notions of manliness. His name is Ted Lendon. I had Ted on the podcast awhile back ago to discuss his book Soldiers and Ghosts (episode #231 if you want to check it out). 

On today's show, Ted goes into detail about how the Greeks and the Romans defined manliness. We begin with the Greeks and how the Homeric epics, particularly The Iliad, served as their bible on how to be a man and how Achilles and Odysseus were held up as models of manhood. Ted then explains how the Athenian philosophers tried to tame Bronze Age manliness by making self-control an important element of being a man. 

We then shift gears to the Romans and discuss how they borrowed elements of Greek manliness to shape their own culture of manhood, as well as how Roman ideas of manliness differed from those of the Greeks. 

We end our conversation talking about why the virtue of self-control pops up in definitions of manliness not just in the West, but also Eastern cultures like Japan and China.

#299: What the Ancient Greeks and Romans Thought About Manliness

Today's guest is Kyle Eschenroeder, author of "The Pocket Guide to Action." 

Last year, Kyle published a piece on the site called "Meditations on the Wisdom of Action." It contained 116 short, punchy devotional-esque passages on the nature and importance of action. It was my favorite piece of content in 2016, and I still find myself continually thinking about its principles, and utilizing them in my life. The feedback we’ve received from readers has been similarly enthusiastic. At over 16,000 words, this longform article was about the length of a short book. So we decided to turn it into one, and titled it "The Pocket Guide to Action: 116 Meditations on the Art of Doing."

Today on the show, I’ve brought Kyle on to dig deep into his philosophy on action. He shares why inaction can be expensive, how action can sometimes mean not doing anything, and why taking action is the best way to find courage and passion in life. Along the way, he shares tactics you can take today to help shift yourself into a more action-oriented mindset. 

If you’ve been struggling to get started on a project or have just been feeling unmotivated, this podcast will light a fire under your rear!

#301: Why Action is the Answer

My guest on today's show is Winston Groom, author of "The Aviators: Eddie Rickenbacker, Jimmy Doolittle, Charles Lindbergh, and the Epic Age of Flight."

Winston Groom has authored numerous history and historical fiction books, including "Forrest Gump," as well as the subject of today's show, "The Aviators," in which he details the engaging history of these pioneers of flight and their service to their country. Today on the show, we discuss each of these men and their respective heroics -- from Lindbergh’s famous flight across the Atlantic, to Doolittle’s legendary raid on Tokyo, to Rickenbacker’s survival at sea for 23 days. We also dig into their complex characters and specifically, Lindbergh’s testy relationship with the press and how his initial opposition to the U.S. entering WWII got him labeled a traitor by FDR. 

Winston is a masterful storyteller so you’re in for a real treat today. You’re going to be left both entertained and inspired by these three men.

#305: Lessons from the Epic Age of Flight

My guest today is David Kwong. He’s a magician, New York Times crossword creator, and now author of the book "Spellbound: Seven Principles of Illusion to Captivate Audiences and Unlock the Secrets of Success.

Today on the show, David and I discuss how several key principles from magic can be applied beyond the stage and make you more successful in business and life. We’ll learn what it means to “load up” in magic and how Richard Branson used that principle to start Virgin Airlines, and why storytelling is key for executing both a successful magic trick and a successful business. We also discuss how magicians plan for tricks gone awry and the lessons non-magicians can take from that preparation. We even get into the mutual admiration Theodore Roosevelt and Houdini had for each other and how Houdini personified Roosevelt's ideal of living "the strenuous life."

#306: What a Magician Can Teach You About Being More Successful

My guest is Chris Fussell, author of "One Mission: How Leaders Build a Team of Teams." 

Today on the show, Chris and I discuss why traditional top-down leadership organizations aren’t effective today either in the world of military or business and how civilian organizations can apply the lessons he learned during combat. We discuss the legacy of John Boyd’s OODA Loop philosophy and how McChrystal took that idea and scaled it to the large and often bureaucratic armed forces. Chris then delves into how to develop a sense of “shared consciousness” in an organization and how to empower subordinates to make decisions to move a goal forward without having to ask for permission from a superior. We then discuss why complete decentralization isn't a cure-all and why it’s important to have the structure of top-down leadership. 

Whether you’re a corporate manager, business owner, or a leader in a non-profit, you’re going to walk away with some actionable advice to make your organization better.

#313:  How Leaders Build Great Teams

Today on the show, I talk to GORUCK founder Jason McCarthy, who started the company after serving as a Green Beret in Iraq. What began as a backpack company has morphed into a tight-knit community of people looking to push themselves through what Jason calls "Good livin." Today on the show, Jason and I discuss where the idea for the GORUCK events came from and what a man can learn about leadership, teamwork, and community by doing hard things with other people.

#314: Building Better Citizens Through Rucking

Today on the show, Noah Kagan shares what it was like getting fired from Facebook right before it went public and losing out on a $185 million pay day, and how he bounced back from that blow. He then digs into the process he goes through in testing if a business idea is viable and how he used that process to start several successful ventures. Noah then shares the difference between founding a business and managing it, and why managers get the short shrift in today’s start-up focused world. We end our conversation by talking about how you can run personal experiments to create a better life and how to run a diagnostic test on yourself in order to make every day a great one.

#315: The Power of Small Experiments to Supercharge Your Success

My guest today is Eric Barker, author of "Barking Up the Wrong Tree." 

We all know those collective maxims on success: nice guys finish last; it’s not what you know, it’s who you know; winners never quit. 

We’ve heard them so often that we accept them as articles of faith. 

But are they really true? 

My guest today says, yes…and no.

His name is Eric Barker and he’s the author of one of the few blogs I regularly read: Barking Up the Wrong Tree. There, he takes a look at what actual research says about these tried-and-true maxims of success and provides a nuanced, often counterintuitive look at them. He’s recently taken some of his best writing from 8 years at the blog, expanded on it, and turned it into a book by the same name. 

Today on the show, Eric and I discuss why most of the ideas we have about success are wrong and what we can do to be better advice sleuths. Eric shares research that shows why high school valedictorians are less likely to become millionaires or influential leaders, and what that teaches us on the importance of knowing ourselves. He then breaks down the idea that nice guys always finish last, and how it’s both true and false at the same time. We then discuss why grit can sometimes be overrated and why winners in fact always quit. We end our conversation discussing why being a glad-handing extrovert can both garner success and sew the seeds of failure, and how the idea of work/life balance is making people more miserable than ever, as well as what you can do about it. 

Lots of fascinating tidbits in this show that you can implement right away to improve your life. Plenty of great cocktail party fodder as well.

#322: Why Everything You Know About Success Is (Mostly) Wrong

Take a breath right now.

Did your chest go up and down?

Congratulations, you just failed at breathing.

Don’t worry, my guest today on the show will set you straight.

Her name is Belisa Vranich. She’s a clinical psychologist who has made a career re-training people on how to breathe correctly and in her latest book, "Breathe," she provides a step-by-step program to help people breathe better.

Today on the show, Belisa explains all the ill health and psychological effects of poor breathing, like increased stress, poor sleep, poor mental function, and even poor digestion, as well as why so many people mess up this seemingly simple and automatic bodily process.

She then walks listeners through how to take a proper breath and even shares some exercises you can do to train yourself to breathe better and improve your all-around health.

This is an extremely practical podcast, and you’re going to feel great after you do the breathing exercises Belisa lays out.

#323: Improve Your Breathing, Improve Your Health

If you’re like most people, you’ve probably got some habits you’d like to change: maybe you want to quit smoking or eat better or check your phone less. And if you’re like most people, you’ve probably tried making those changes, and failed. And after failing again and again, you just gave up. 

My guest today is a psychologist who specializes in helping people make real, lasting change in their lives. His name is Sean Young and he’s the director of the UCLA Center of Digital Behavior and the author of the book "Stick with It: A Scientifically Proven Process For Changing Your Life—for Good." Today on the show, Sean explains why most of our approaches to personal change fail, and the scientifically proven process he and his team have developed to help people make lasting change. Sean shares several tactics that — when used in combination — can help you finally make those changes you’ve long desired.

We discuss why creating small wins is important in habit change and what we can learn from cults on how to effectively change ourselves. We then discuss how we can alter our environment to facilitate transformation, as well as “neurohacks” that can shortcut the brain’s hardwired instincts. At the end, Sean ties all these concepts together to provide listeners with a roadmap to finally sticking with a habit change.

#329: Stick With It — The Science of Behavior Change

Inside many men is the call for adventure. My guest today is one of those men and listening to that call has led him to pursue a lifetime of amazing expeditions around the globe, all while balancing a demanding career as an airline pilot as well as family responsibilities. His name is Laval St. Germain and today he shares when he first heard the call for adventure on his grandparent’s farm in western Canada and how he started taking action on it.

We then go through some of the adventures he’s been on, including being the first Canadian to summit Mt. Everest without oxygen, dodging landmines while climbing the highest mountain in Iraq, and rowing across the Atlantic Ocean by himself.

Laval then shares how he tragically lost his son in a canoeing accident and how the habit of making checklists that he developed as a pilot helped him lead his family through the grieving process. We dig deeper into how Laval uses checklists as a pilot, adventurer, and family man. And we end our conversation talking about how regular joes can go on the kinds of adventures Laval regularly undertakes without breaking the bank and while still attending to their families and careers.

#340: Life Lessons From an Adventurer

When it comes to self-improvement, most people set big, audacious goals. Setting those goals feels good. It pumps you up and you feel like you can conquer the world. But then . . . it happens. You have a setback and within a matter of days, your fiery ambition to change yourself is extinguished. And so you’re back to where you started, only you're even worse off than before because you're saddled with the sting of failure.

But what if I said there’s a much more effective way to improve yourself and it just requires getting 1% better each day? It's called the Kaizen method. It sounds like a mystical Japanese philosophy passed down by wise, bearded sages who lived in secret caves, but it actually has a surprisingly American and modern origin. My guest today has written a book about this philosophy of small, continuous improvement used by Japanese carmakers for over 60 years. His name is Robert Maurer and his book is "One Small Step Can Change Your Life: The Kaizen Way."

Today on the show, Robert explains the American roots of this Japanese manufacturing process and how the Japanese re-introduced it to America in the 1970s. He then digs into the psychology of why the Kaizen method of improvement works so well not just for organizations but for individuals. We end our conversation with the practical ways you can incorporate Kaizen in your own life.

#341: The Kaizen Method — Get 1% Better Each Day

Oftentimes when you start making positive changes for the better in your life, you’re going to have people, even people really close to you who claim to care about you, intentionally or unintentionally try to discourage you from your path. In those moments, you have to develop the ability to shrug off your critics and not let them drag you back down to their level. My guest today has succeeded in that struggle and shares the lessons he learned in his aptly titled book, "Not Caring What Other People Think Is a Superpower." His name is Ed Latimore and besides being a writer, he's a professional boxer, is about to complete his degree in physics, served in the National Guard, is an AmeriCorps volunteer, and avid chess player.

Today on the show, Ed shares how he wasn’t always this ambitious and how he spent his twenties dorking around. He then shares the moment when he decided to get serious with his life and the steps he took to start college in his late twenties. We then dig into some of the themes in Ed’s book, specifically how to develop discipline even though you’re not motivated, why you have to embrace being mediocre to become great, and the difference between good pain and bad pain.

Ed shares what it’s like to lose a boxing match on national television and the lessons on failure he took from that match. He also shares insights on how to deal with success, specifically how to keep that edge even when things are going well for you.

We end our conversation talking about why not caring about what people think is a superpower and why sometimes the people closest to you don’t want to see you change your life for the better. 

This is a great show packed with actionable insights.

AOM Listen List

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