you said okay

saturday dec 14 2013

don’t hold your tongue
i know we’re done
i’m not an idiot
there’s no coming back
from where we’ve been
and who we’ve been with
but these are not the people
we thought that we would touch
and i’m scared that if i see you
i’ll start missing you too much

i know i felt like home
a year ago
when this was new
we’ll learn who we are
when we drift apart
when we drift
but when did we become so old
tomorrow i turn twenty four
and i’m still chasing the dreams
we had in high school

now we’re clinging onto objects
that someone else had touched
in hopes that we still smell them
in the fabric and the dust
i took the book you wrote me
and i tore it into shreds
but i still keep it in a shoe box
in a space next to my bed
i want to hold you until i’m empty
and i’ve got nothing left
so when you let me go
could you do it slow

and i’m sorry that i went away
i just needed some time to make
the pain into something
you can hold

july 8th, 2014

you're a mess in public

you wrote "don't forget" on your arm

another place to leave

bike

puddle

growing old

cute date to the funeral

darla 2

little things in an empty room

sleep

summer or spring

it's thursday, january 12th and this is the last time i'll talk about drowning

if you love me, come clean

to see you alive

i clung to you hoping we'd both drown

my heart goes bum bum bum

lately i've been feeling tired of everyone i know

where did you go, and what did you do
with all the time you were too scared to move
and what is it like to be by yourself
for three and a half years
for roughly three and a half years
if we could just pretend that i went to college
and that is why you, you haven’t seen me
i wanted to go, but not for this long
i over did it
why did you say that i was one in a million
because i believed it i thought i had something
that you were too scared to lose
so if we could just pretend that i went to college
or traveled abroad and did something different
anything but just sitting at home
for three and a half years
writing song after song after song
so what is it like to be by yourself
and not feel like you’ll die
around everyone else
i thought i was one in a million
well thanks for nothing
yeah thank you
thank you 

if we could just pretend

Why

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