cant believe iv never listened to ur music b4 ur insane holy fuck

wintry synth-pop

go stream the album: ffm.to/limina
my ig: instagram.com/redhxrse

'in medias res'

introooo

.

the news dropped, and i’m blocked from the inside.
sitting in pitch black just waiting for myself to cry-
why does it feel too easy putting on a smile?
it ain’t like the movies - no sad music, just pure silence now.

it’s like i split in two and they see one of me!
how selfish i am to share the load...
gone too soon, an utmost tragedy.
it’s better if nobody knows, i’ll deal the fatal blow.
don’t let them see or i’ll weep the whole world over,
cos maybe then they’ll let me fucking breathe.

i need to see what’s wrong with me.
my hearts slow, but i’m breathing too fast
the world’s in the wrong place, feeling no type of way
can't help but keep losing my trust, and i’ll leave myself in the dust
yeah, we’ll put it all down to fate - surely i’ll see better days...

call myself an actor, they say it’s nothing to cry about.
now i seem way more mild-mannered, the smile is lost but not yet found.
it’s like i skip two steps then go back three, normal emotions aren’t my thing, you see :(
anything i’d do to get out! get me out!
it’s a fucking ghost town, the busiest around...
these thoughts that run past meeee, can’t help but let them keep me down.
 
it’s like i split in two and they see one of me!
how selfish i am to share the load...
gone too soon, an utmost tragedy.
it’s better if nobody knows, i’ll deal the fatal blow.
don’t let them see or i’ll weep the whole world over,
cos maybe then they’ll let me FUCKING BREATHE AHHHH-

dwell in the silence and it's crippling
dwell in the silence and it's crippling
dwell in the silence and it's crippling

i need to see what’s wrong with me.
my hearts slow, but i’m breathing too fast
the world’s in the wrong place, feeling no type of way
can't help but keep losing my trust, and i’ll leave myself in the dust
yeah, we’ll put it all down to fate - surely i’ll see better days...

written a while ago, but it hits harder now.

limina

silence

stream the mf song

prod. me
ft. @t1gerstar

out on all platforms: https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/anem0s/empty-nesters-feat-tigerstar

thank u to tigerstar for hopping on this! u are the best :D

lyrics:
(me)
could you tell me
what it is that im missing
i been waiting by
so long for a mission
what's my problem
are you checkin my condition
tell me whats wrong with a little ambition

i been feeling washed up
whats the rush
i been fighting demons
and i never keep in touch
i been talking to my thoughts tryna think the right stuff
but its never not enough
life's always gettin tough

thought i'd never see the change but i'm movin away
empty nesters back home know i got a lot to say
but i'm stuck in my head
blocking out all my problems started thinkin
i was better off stayin in bed

and if the world behaved
i'd be better off now
than i was yesterday
its okay to take a break if you need to
dont shy away from the people who believe you

so im watching where i step
and ill keep on pushin
and the secrets that i kept
now i know i really shouldnt
so ill take another breath
i was too focused on my footing
it took all that i had not to fall right into it

picture this im never sitting til i stop
kept my eyes on the clock
countin seconds til i caught
a glimpse of what im seeking i could never miss the top
if i never make it i can't bear to take the drop

(tigerstar)
thought i'd never see the change but i'm movin away
i took a little bit too much of what i really can take
getting too attached to the buzz i feel when im awake
its only when i sleep enough i can get up to make (something of myself)

you gotta be trying to turn around
you can't be so ready to be turned down
why are you wanting to rush things to happen now?
i don't really mind if they're making me wait

it's really not as serious as they make it out to be
closer to home than a different agency
know i can sound just a little too passionate

i wonder if i'll live up to all you expect from me
letting them down amplifies the pressure
but i won't let you down however you measure that

(me)
thought i'd never see the change but i'm movin away
empty nesters back home know i got a lot to say
but i'm stuck in my head
blocking out all my problems started thinkin
i was better off stayin in bed

and if the world behaved
i'd be better off now
than i was yesterday
its okay to take a break if you need to
dont shy away from the people who believe you

empty nesters ft. tigerstar

shoutout @rawwbguitar for the extra guitar solo :3
https://www.twitch.tv/rawwbguitar 

look at the mess
you made for all to see
i know that its hard
to pull yourself together
just dont blame it on me
just dont blame it on me
just dont blame it on me
dont blame it on me

you never seem to look
me in my face
dont think you know 
what you did
but i dont know
if im alright
decisions were made
on my behalf
thats great 
think she's winning a ribbon
for all the lost time
shouldve listened to everybody
to cut ties
seems like all you wanted
was somebody to hold
and if i havent made it obvious
i wont let you go
you wont give me a reason to feel alive
ill let her leave me alone

just dont blame it on me
just dont blame it on me
just dont blame it on me
dont blame it on me

STEMS

blame game (ft. oldcollin)

all plats

spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/0y9aJ6QV00Z2ZgWFYH9YYI?si=43fcd8f9cfe74b58

i think i got too many
problems for me to solve
so i stay inside
till i have to go again
so tell me if you love me
how would you let them know?
that i'm not really stable
and that i can not let go 

maybe i'm just the problem
and you are part of the show
but i know that we both know
how it goes when you solo
i shouldve known before
before they all pretended
but who cares about me
or my mental health

i see them come and go
right before i couldve known
(maybe I'm just the problem)
that they were all just never
fine with me in any ways

i know that i wont last
forever in this household
but imma keep on trying to
make all of em just proud

i think i got too many
problems for me to solve
so i stay inside
till i have to go again
so tell me if you love me
how would you let them know?
that i'm not really stable
and that i can not let go 

(I'm not your first ever choice
how can you do this after all
i have done in the first place
why would u choose him over me
when he just treats u wrong
bloods dripping off ur arms
cuz once again u folded)

break!

i open my eyes
just to see u again
i breathe in
and breathe out
to forget about it
i know it's hard
to look forward
in life when it turns
hard on you
and it might not seem
like it
when i say
that you were never wrong
i guess you were right
when u said it'd be be fine
if id continue lies
when i opened up i cried
no1 there but shit its fine

and now i wanna scream
and shout
till i pass out
forget about
the mistakes i have made
and i wouldve never thought
that my existence is worth it
till u told me that time
where i was crying in pain
no one tried to jus help
everyone there just stared
thought that i would be dead
when i reach 15 years
got no friends who would care
started hating on myself
blocked all of my contacts
and isolated myself
teacher said its not worth
to give them all attention
but how am i supposed to ignore them
when i fucking care
no its not fucking fair
wake up in panic when i know theres ppl who hate me aswell
and i know its not fair

let them know

prod and vocals by me.
stream here:
https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/yonklolz/the-help

the help

stream on all plats

Preesave <3 https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/tigerstar/been-that-boy 

Prod. tigerstar
co-written with @yazida-essia 
SHOUTS OUT TO CABBY @silentcxbin FOR DOING THE INTRO AND MASTER <3 Check him out NOWWWW...!!!

CREDS TO THE CLIQUE GIRLZ .... My ultimate idols that inspire everything i create
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yYJ284Hndzk

if there was a single day where we could just talk
i'd fade and i'd block anything thats not you
I’d cave when u walk in the room
I wonder if u listen, heart transparent
can u hear it?
u said u couldn’t 
so i'll turn it up just enough
like I wanted for us

you know i
kinda shoulda wish you woulda coulda maybe been that boy
you need to know i...
know you never yea you did you never been to be that boy...
but every little word was true 
i dont wanna waste a minute waiting for ur call back
here i am 5 hours later  and i'll respond so fast
after all thought i was certain thinking u were all that
and theres still a part of me that thinks that y could be that boy

so can i at least plead my case or do 
u just want me to be thrown away and you'll choose 
from all the girls lined up and i'll be another one
its such a  force of a wave to try to get through

im in a daze for u n
spending all day in a trance
when im just looking at u
no one can say that i cant
i gotta look for u
i gotta tell u too many things i said that i won’t get into

already came in like a wreck, like could it get any worse?
i always talk it down i hope that i dont get hurt 
found out all of the words that you had said and i…
kinda shoulda wish u woulda coulda maybe been that boy

NO U NEVER
YES U DID
U NEVER MEANT TO MEAN THAT
AND U SHOULDA 
WISH U WOULDA
COULDA MAYBE BEEN THAT

got my hopes up for it to mean nothin
if ur just gonna pretend all along 
that u could be that boy
wouldnt have let it
if ur never gonna get it
through ur head
i should forget it, for what?
( u'll never be that boy)

u couldn’t have been him at all
figured it out on my own
i should’ve known that he was never gonna be that boy
i cant help but say that it’s dumb
and so i’ll stay on my own
i should’ve known that he was never gonna be that boy

Been That Boy!

produced by @typhoondll + me

lyrics:

[long ass intro with hella vocal chops for no reason]

u try to bring me along somewhere i wont go
u think ur calling my bluff but bitch i wont fold
got hyperflexed knees bending so low
my head is scraping the ceiling pray i wont grow

im losing feeling in my legs sitting waiting
got so much pressure on my head to keep it vacant
i run in place, keep posting my face make it famous
just so i can go replace it put a glaive where my brain is

i said im happiest for you that you lucked out
somehow only way i show it is i run out
smoke my lungs out 
try to hold back tears they send a flood now
every day's the same gotta wait another one down

counting all the time i lost watch the clock as it ticks by
all i got spending every drop i wont miss mine 
all i saw, u took my bar hit it six times
its gonna be all ur fucking fault when that shit dies

remember please, you dont own our memories, no
you shared with me and at best u had a lease on it
all i see bitches stare at me, keep watching
cant make me bleed, wont prick my finger on cheap comments

im sick of fake compliments im begging be honest
i hate the way the friendly faces are the least common
alone time for my whole life making me chronic
dont need a feature im the only one i see on it

i said im happiest for you that you lucked out
somehow only way i show it is i run out
smoke my lungs out 
try to hold back tears they send a flood now
every day's the same gotta wait another one down

counting all the time i lost watch the clock as it ticks by
all i got spending every drop i wont miss mine 
all i saw, u took my bar hit it six times
its gonna be all ur fucking fault when that shit dies

lucked out (p. typhoon + leyton)

EVERYTHING BY ME, ALBUM OUT SOON <3

oh how I'd know
it would take the toll
oh I can't go
back to where I fell from (x2)

another fleeting thought
I'm anxious once again
I'll double down on feeling worse
thought I'd get far this time
and how I'd know you'd fake me out just in the end
I'll take my chances, spin my fate
I'm on the angel's time

oh how I'd know
it would take the toll
oh I can't go
back to where I fell from
run from those
empty thoughts, no more
oh how I'd know
you'd leave me down and torn

(vocal chops)

yeah it takes the toll (x4)
oh yeah it takes the toll (x2)

oh how I'd know
it would take the toll
oh I can't go
back to where I fell from
run from those
empty thoughts, no more
oh how I'd know
you'd leave me down and torn

(vocal chops)

It takes the toll

ily all <3
LYRICS:
there aint really places left to go
im stuck inside my home 
home alone macauly culkin
i wanna cry alone 
maybe some time alone
either way you know im a keep smokin 
i probably die alone
a cup of styrofoam
in my had you probably think im jokin
when it comes to attention 
i always need to play center
the last name noah first name joakim

in my head i toss and turn till the morning
i cant deal with these feelings they feel foreign 
goddamn it everythings feelin boring 
i look outside my window yea the rain is pouring 
i tell myself itll get better by tomorrow 
the fake promises fill me with sorrow 
too many bitches in the past took my heart 
and left it borrowed 
who the fuck is that i feel like nardo 

i keep screaming as im running forward 
i hope it takes somewhere better 
than ive ever been before 
but ive been fuckin everywhere 
damn there aint really shit left to look at man 
i dont give a fuck anymore 
i put my all into this shit like 2 or 3 times 
and i still aint get nowhere 
it aint no fair 
but i dont care 
where to go from here there aint nowhere 

can you let me out 
let me out 
let me out 
let me out 
can you let me out 
let me out 
let me out 
let me out 

honestly i let myself down
i let judgment get so cloudy with self doubt 
forgot to wash away the fears when they come around
i shouldve listened to my own advice i cant 
yea im dirtier than dan 
just a product of my city tryna be what i can
here i go putting blame on everything but myself
yea i truly need help 
but i dont never wanna get it nah nah 

the creepy crawlies coming out at night 
i cant act like im surprised 
look between my eyes
i aint in disguise 
pain keeps repeating in my head 100 times 
i hope i know the day i die
so i can thank everyone who help me stay alive 
at the same time apologize for all the ruined lives
i dont know what im doing in this life 
but i dont wanna do it anymore 

in my head i toss and turn till the morning
i cant deal with these feelings they feel foreign 
goddamn it everythings feelin boring 
i look outside my window yea the rain is pouring 
i tell myself itll get better by tomorrow 
the fake promises fill me with sorrow 
too many bitches in the past took my heart 
and left it borrowed 
who the fuck is that i feel like nardo 

i keep screaming as im running forward 
i hope it takes somewhere better 
than ive ever been before 
but ive been fuckin everywhere 
damn there aint really shit left to look at man 
i dont give a fuck anymore 
i put my all into this shit like 2 or 3 times 
and i still aint get nowhere 
it aint no fair 
but i dont care 
where to go from here there aint nowhere 

can you let me out 
let me out 
let me out 
let me out 
can you let me out 
let me out 
let me out 
let me out 

there aint really places left to go
im stuck inside my home 
home alone macauly culkin
i wanna cry alone 
maybe some time alone
either way you know im a keep smokin 
i probably die alone
a cup of styrofoam
in my had you probably think im jokin
when it comes to attention 
i always need to play center
the last name noah first name joakim (x2)

joakim*

@sxthsns

LYRICS:
i dont put nothing but my best in 
if you mean that shit best say it with yo chest then
im moving overtime forgot about my best friends
this shit been overdue but im so bad at scheduling
i put requests in to my plug i need my medicine
without it feel like ima die before the better days
i lost my mom aint get to see her shit embarassing
i still suppress all of my thoughts about it every day

23 years old should be in my prime by now i know 
sick of waiting on time time just go
feel like optimus prime when i switch clothes
-if you see me crying on my own
just know im trying to keep afloat
ima end up dying on my own 
the way i strive to be alone
the way i strive to be alone
flauge' packing heat he could send you home
you a opp? dont come in my zone
told ch6po man its been so damn long
i got bustdown fever everywhere i go 
no wonder why i stay indoors
im looking out of the window 
and all i see is time stolen

i took one shot at a ponyboy hope he stay golden
when i come around you feel the rumble but i aint flowdan
i just wanna get rapper rich one day get my wrist flooded
cash out an abundance i been hitting home runs
why these goofies bunting yea i treat the stu like boxing matches
you can see me punch in 
i done spent way too much of my life wondering where the drugs is
so down bad couldnt carve a smile out of my face i aint no pumpkin


im 23 years old should be in my prime by now i know 
sick of waiting on time time just go
feel like optimus prime when i switch clothes
-if you see me crying on my own
just know im trying to keep afloat
ima end up dying on my own 
the way i strive to be alone
the way i strive to be alone
flauge' packing heat he could send you home
you a opp? dont come in my zone
told ch6po man its been so damn long
i got bustdown fever everywhere i go 
no wonder why i stay indoors
im looking out of the window 
and all i see is time stolen

OH MY GOD!!
(2x)
i dont put nothing but my best in 
if you mean that shit best say it with yo chest then
im moving overtime forgot about my best friends
this shit been overdue but im so bad at scheduling
i put requests in to my plug i need my medicine
without it feel like ima die before the better days
i lost my mom aint get to see her shit embarassing
i still suppress all of my thoughts about it every day

let them know

uxbie

Recent comments

ralphthecatling

nyla♡

dylan lotus

dahdumbguy

Related tracks